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Thread: Pet Rules

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Illinois - USA
    Posts
    38

    Pet Rules

    I recently received this from a friend.
    I apologize if it's been posted before, but I thought maybe someone would enjoy it as much as I did.

    PET RULES
    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose
    height.

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your
    food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please
    note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food
    does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish,
    nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
    racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
    Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can
    run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am
    very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping
    on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can
    actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
    necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
    to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
    tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
    end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the
    bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to
    get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow,
    try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try
    to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
    entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
    canine or feline attendance is not required

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or
    cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following
    message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our
    Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off
    the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
    son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and
    doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids
    because they: 1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Normally come when called
    5. Never ask to drive the car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't want to wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

    And finally,

    11. IF they get pregnant, you can sell their children.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Tennessee, USA
    Posts
    17,326
    LOL! Thanks for the much needed giggle today!!!
    Kim Loves Cats and Doggies Too!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    40,169
    And I am not being slow on purpose when its Dinner Time.
    Its just that I am a Geezer, and am slower that I used to be.
    And running under my feet and screaming does not make the food fall out of the can onto your dish.
    And lying on the stairs with an old Diabetic Man is frankly a bad idea as he cannot see you, and cannot feel you if he steps on you.
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Deep-N-Heart of Tx && My Babie's Hearts
    Posts
    15,555

    Pet Rules

    I am still laughing & yes had to print this one.. Very Good & thank you

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

    [[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
    ****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
    {{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
    ((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
    <Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Methuen, MA; USA
    Posts
    17,105
    GREAT!

    I especially like the stairs one. They are forEVER racing me to and from the laundry downstairs!!!
    .

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Deep-N-Heart of Tx && My Babie's Hearts
    Posts
    15,555

    Pet Rules

    Wittle Bump = This is just too funny & True..

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

    [[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
    ****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
    {{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
    ((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
    <Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

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