Hubby makes me mad( good update first op )

[My Peanuts]

I just bought a card, cake and a gift book.

I'm going to write an apology for the way I acted.

I'll tell him that we can use the tatoo money and go shopping for clothes for me that HE wants me to wear. But I have a say in wether or not I like it. And if getting rid of the bunny means sooooooo much, then I guess I'll have to rehome her. Having her has caused a few fights. It's not worth it. Although I would hate to see her go. I love her. I do have a cat and dog.

Hopefully he will apologize too.

I think I need to updose my meds to get better control over my outburst. As they are reletively new and not been able to handle them yet.

We both have problems. We are working on them. I'm just getting anxious because I want to be better now. It's hard living unhappy.

I've been following this and it is so ridiculous. So this entire thread is for NOTHING because you are letting him control you again. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but if you EVER post about him controlling you again you are an idiot. You did nothing about it and just gave in!

Your husband gives you no allowance and then buys you clothes HE wants you to wear? Have you told your counselor about that? All I can say is WOW. I really don't feel sorry for you, you have done nothing to better yourself and your poor daughter is going to get caught up in all this.

Also, if you just give up on your bunny that easy then I, for one, have lost all respect for you. Since your bunny is "not worth it" then you don't deserve ANY pets. If you "love" her then your lack of loyalty disgusts me.

You have a cat and dog? I thought you had 2 dogs? Or did he MAKE you get rid of one of those too?

This entire thread is filled with excuses...

I've only started acting out in the past 1 1/2 years. .

You really think that is acceptable? Especially with a toddler in the house?

Here's an idea, try thinking for yourself for once. Try to help yourself, if you refuse, then stop complaining about it.

[Catty1]

Don't EVER up your meds without checking with your doctor!

I know you said you married young. Perhaps a separation would be a good idea - so you can go through the living on your own phase that many young adults go through.

How long have you been in counselling?

Have you noticed any change?

Remember - you CAN'T fix what is broken in someone else.

If your husband is getting counselling just to keep you around, and not making any changes, maybe you should leave for a while.

That's manipulation. And some time on your own with your daughter would be really good for you - a break.

[My Peanuts]

I just saw that you re-homes Charlie 2 months ago. How do you live with yourself? Adopt a new dog, get rid of the old one? IS that how it works? Get a bunny, not "worth" fighting over, get rid of her too? Nice, really nice!

[gemini9961]

I haven't posted on this yet and I am shocked to see how it has progressed. I have to agree with what everyone has said here, all I am reading is excuse after excuse and now you bought a card and cake and are going to apologize. He has won again. This is a sad situation and best of luck to you.

[ashleycat]

you're blowing things out of proportion. Charlie was gone more than 2 months ago. There was a reason for rehoming him. He is in a more active lifestyle family now. I waited a couple months before getting Runner. She fits our lifestyle better. I do miss him terribly. But I felt he deserved better. And now he is in a better situation.

My bunny.. Yes I love her. But I get 50/50 about it. 50 say they would leave over an animal. 50 say to see it on his side too. Maybe you don't see it on here because this IS a PET forum.

My cat I've had for 8 years. She isn't going anywhere. I've only had the bunny for a few months.

Catty.. don't worry. I won't do that w/o talking to him first.

I have only been in counseling for a couple months now. He has only gone with me once. So he hasn't even really began the counseling yet.

I'm trying to help myself, but I only get myself into trouble. Trying to take control of my life gets me into trouble.

Ya know.. I'm not going to post anymore on this thread. Because things are getting out of hand, and getting blown out of proportion. I don't have to explain myself over and over again for things that people are not reading right.

[Karen]

Okay, calm down, folks.

Ashleycat, you have some decisions to make. Not regarding the bunny or the tattoo or the counselor.

First, you need to figure out what you want from your life. If you are that angry, and have been for a year, you need to re-evaluate things and take a good hard look at why you are angry.

Next, you need to figure out what you want from this marriage. And if you are not willing to work at it, both of you, then you need to not complain about it publicly. People here are willing to sympathize, but not to be doormats, or to advocate being doormats. A marriage is a partnership. If either of you is not willing to compromise, a marriage will never work, and you will always be unhappy.

Third, if you are going to a counselor that tells you your depression is caused by anything someone else does, stop going to that person. He or she is not doing you any good, and may be doing you harm.

In all these things, you need consider the impact your anger and unhappiness is having on your daughter, your pets, and your home.

We cannot help you make any of these decisions.

[caseysmom]

I think the first step is a calm dinner, try to get a babysitter or after your daughter is asleep and try to have a calm talk with your husband. Tell him your concerns, maybe even write them down beforehand.

[Vela]

Okay, calm down, folks.

Ashleycat, you have some decisions to make. Not regarding the bunny or the tattoo or the counselor.

First, you need to figure out what you want from your life. If you are that angry, and have been for a year, you need to re-evaluate things and take a good hard look at why you are angry.

Next, you need to figure out what you want from this marriage. And if you are not willing to work at it, both of you, then you need to not complain about it publicly. People here are willing to sympathize, but not to be doormats, or to advocate being doormats. A marriage is a partnership. If either of you is not willing to compromise, a marriage will never work, and you will always be unhappy.

Third, if you are going to a counselor that tells you your depression is caused by anything someone else does, stop going to that person. He or she is not doing you any good, and may be doing you harm.

In all these things, you need consider the impact your anger and unhappiness is having on your daughter, your pets, and your home.

We cannot help you make any of these decisions.

I agree with Karen.

I also think some of you should step back. I agree with what many of you are saying, but not in how you are saying it. It's not always easy to get out of situations we get ourselves into in life, and some of the comments are much too harsh in terms of how they are given. Yes it gets old, but there are other posters who post things that are lies or half truths or nothing but complaints, and I don't see people attacking them like a pack of dogs. I understand where the anger comes in to play, but at the same time it's not helping Ashley or you to get that upset about it. Some people have mental diabilities and are unable to see the situations as others see it, or don't know how to get out of it, and while some may not wish to make comments in a positive way, I think some are being overly harsh to the negative. I do wish you all a nice day, and I'm not picking on anyone, it just seems very harsh.

Ashley, I hope you are able to get the help you need and can find a way to be happy for yourself and your daughter, she is more important than anything else, and these negative things that are happening are greatly going to affect her stability as an adult. You need to figure things out and soon, because it IS hurting her, even though she is still young yet. These are her most impressionable years and will shape her entire future life. Sounds like you need a new counselor for yourself alone and with your husband together to work through these things, because it's not a good life for any of you.

[caseysmom]

Thanks Vela you said what I was thinking but would not have said as nicely.

[My Peanuts]

I may have been a little harsh, but when a child and pets are affected by this person’s decisions or lack of decisions I feel the need to vent for their sake. I'm not apologizing for what I said. I think Ashleycat has to realize a lot of things. I believe in trying to help people, but when they don’t listen to reason then they need someone to give it to them straight.

Ashleycat, I am angry at your choices, but I do not hate you. I know everyone's situations are different, but your problems are very big and I believe you are taking them way too lightly.

[Lori Jordan]

I have stayed completly away from this thread as i hate to hurt people,All i see are excuses,As to the animals,If you knew he was not as fond as animals after Charlie why add a dog and now a Bunny,As it takes every animal time to ajust and get used to there new surroundings.Now she will have to start all over again,Which causes stress on them and could take there life.Is that fair?I would rethink things,My husband knows if he ever acted like this his bags would be packed,and trust me we are beyond complete opposites we really have no hobbies nothing in common,But we have concideration for eachother and you can say whatever you like we have been together for 16 years,and not once have i doubted our Marriage.

I'm not saying leave him,but maybe it is not a bad idea,Apart from the animals your daughter should be number one,I hate any family breaking up,but if the parents are always in a tiff i truly believe the child is better off,They grow to what you as parents have taught them,I wish you luck,and i hope the bunny gets to stay put even though i do not know the animal my stomach is upside down thinking about the poor thing having to go through this.

[RICHARD]

Geez, you can always find another man.....

Pets?

THey are once in a lifetime.

[ashleycat]

,If you knew he was not as fond as animals after Charlie why add a dog and now a Bunny,.

I asked if I could get them before I got them. I didn't just go get them w/o permission. He is changing his feelings. I rehomed Charlie because he needed a more active family. One that can stay on top of his dominance. Even with nilf, I must not have done it right. I could get him to do things, I brought him a far way with his training myself. I just couldn't stay on top of being alpha.

[ashleycat]

Okay, calm down, folks.

Ashleycat, you have some decisions to make. Not regarding the bunny or the tattoo or the counselor.

First, you need to figure out what you want from your life. If you are that angry, and have been for a year, you need to re-evaluate things and take a good hard look at why you are angry.

Next, you need to figure out what you want from this marriage. And if you are not willing to work at it, both of you, then you need to not complain about it publicly. People here are willing to sympathize, but not to be doormats, or to advocate being doormats. A marriage is a partnership. If either of you is not willing to compromise, a marriage will never work, and you will always be unhappy.

Third, if you are going to a counselor that tells you your depression is caused by anything someone else does, stop going to that person. He or she is not doing you any good, and may be doing you harm.

In all these things, you need consider the impact your anger and unhappiness is having on your daughter, your pets, and your home.

We cannot help you make any of these decisions.

I have been trying to make things better with him. I'm always trying to talk to him and he agrees with almost everything I say. He always says I'm not asking for too much. I will try harder. I ask him what about me that bugs you? The only thing he comes up with, is that he would like for me to cook and clean more often and dance for him. I HAVE been doing the first 2 for him.

As for what makes me angry. HJe knows it. But he refuses to sdee it. He is passive agressive towards me. He says... well my co workers dont think I am PA.

I think I will find a real marriage counselor. Instead of bringing him to MY counselor.

[Karen]

I think I will find a real marriage counselor. Instead of bringing him to MY counselor.

That sounds like a constructive step.