View Poll Results: Do you like the idea of a joke thread?

Voters
172. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    148 86.05%
  • No

    24 13.95%
Page 19 of 86 FirstFirst ... 9101112131415161718192021222324252627282969 ... LastLast
Results 271 to 285 of 1289

Thread: joke thread

  1. #271
    Former User Guest
    One of my fave Garfield comics
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  2. #272
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Arlington, Texas
    Posts
    2,478
    LOL! That`s cute!

  3. #273
    Former User Guest
    sorry, can't resist, have to post another one...

    I love it when John goes to visit home... the sarcasm is brilliant!
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  4. #274
    LOL! 10 is late? LOL! I don't sleep before 12 or 1 and I don't get in trouble! That's because no one in the house does!

  5. #275
    Former User Guest
    A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk! Help me!"
    The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table.
    The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.
    The doctor quickly picked up a hammer and hit the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.
    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" the man yelled.

    "Good, good." The doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll learn B."

  6. #276
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    19,879
    LOL Niina! Those were great!

    Now here's a riddle:

    When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got
    > the answer,
    > compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.
    >
    > The riddle:
    >
    > What is greater than God,
    > More evil than the devil,
    > The poor have it,
    > The rich need it,
    > And if you eat it, you'll die?
    >
    >
    >
    > Think on this.
    >
    > I won't make you wait until tomorrow for the answer.
    >
    >
    > Don't feel bad, when I first heard it, I couldn't
    > figure it out.
    >
    > After you've either figured it out or given up,
    > scroll WAAAAY down and what is between the quotes is
    > the answer.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > " "
    >
    > What is between the quotes?
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Exactly
    >
    >
    > "Nothing" is between the quotes
    >
    > "Nothing" is the answer

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

  7. #277
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    19,879
    I just had to post this one:

    One day Bin Laden went to a fortuneteller and asked her when will I die. She replied: You will die on an American holiday. So he asks which American holiday and she says it doesn’t matter. When you die it will be an American holiday.

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

  8. #278
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,005
    hee hee! Good one!!!
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  9. #279
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Santa Paula, CA
    Posts
    27,648
    Great jokes everyone.

  10. #280
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Haines, Alaska!
    Posts
    6,333
    I thought these were funny and that you gusy might enjoy them. They are funny things on the back of packages.

    Funny things from Packages

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery afer taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of Construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

    On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." talk about a news flash)
    Dogs: Nova, Konnor and Sitka

  11. #281
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    KS, USA
    Posts
    120
    okay here's a stupid one:

    Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie?

    It was rated R!






    Hint:If this joke is so stupid that you don't get it, the 'R' is pirates say 'Ar Mateys!' get it? okay i will shut up now.
    In memory of Rey's Rosebud (Rozye)
    April 26, 1990-April 26,2002
    Passed away in pain under the mercy of the needle because of severe colic.

  12. #282
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Arlington, Texas
    Posts
    2,478
    Originally posted by felinequine
    okay here's a stupid one:

    Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie?

    It was rated R!






    Hint:If this joke is so stupid that you don't get it, the 'R' is pirates say 'Ar Mateys!' get it? okay i will shut up now.
    LOL! That is sorta stupid,but it`s funny too!

  13. #283
    Former User Guest
    During his wedding rehearsal, the groom approached his pastor with an unusual offer. "I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows, and leave out the 'love, honor, obey, and forsake all others' part." He pressed a $100 bill in the pastor's hand and walked away with a satisfied smile.
    On the day of the wedding, the groom was feeling pretty pleased when the pastor got to the part where the vows are exchanged.
    The pastor looked him in the eye and asked, "Will you promise to bow before her, obey whatever command she gives, fulfill her every wish, serve her breakfast each morning, and swear before God that you'll not look at another woman as long as you both shall life?"
    The groom gulped and looked astonished, but he finally said "Yes" in a tiny voice. He then leaned in toward the pastor and whispered, "I thought we had a deal!"

    The pastor pressed the $100 bill back into his hand and whispered in return, "She made me a much better offer."

  14. #284
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    KS, USA
    Posts
    120
    A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

    The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

    The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

    About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

    'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

    The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!'.
    In memory of Rey's Rosebud (Rozye)
    April 26, 1990-April 26,2002
    Passed away in pain under the mercy of the needle because of severe colic.

  15. #285
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Arlington, Texas
    Posts
    2,478
    LOL!! That`s funny!

Similar Threads

  1. Our PT joke thread
    By CathyBogart in forum Dog House
    Replies: 427
    Last Post: 03-18-2024, 03:00 PM
  2. Cat Joke Thread.
    By RICHARD in forum Cat General
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-13-2008, 12:31 PM
  3. how about a joke thread... (?)
    By beeniesmom in forum Dog House
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-12-2005, 01:53 AM
  4. ANIMAL Joke thread
    By Randi in forum General
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-25-2004, 08:58 AM
  5. ~*~ Joke Thread ~*~
    By ILoveMyAbbyGirl in forum General
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-18-2003, 06:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Copyright © 2001-2013 Pet of the Day.com