Forgive me, please, my blonde Pet Talk Friends
LOL!! I'm like Pam......I'm just discovering this and I can't resist this one:
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to
hire herself out as a
handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby
well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch," he said,"How much will you charge me?"
The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that
she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to
her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around
the house?"
The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think
she's dumb?"
"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the 'dumb
blonde' joke emails we've been receiving."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00
and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
not sure if this was posted before?
SEE WHAT HAPPENS
One day, a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The
kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck.
There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded
into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter,
dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a
small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with
toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He
was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had
happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading
a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He
looked at her, bewildered, and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home
from work and ask me what I did today?"
"Yes," was his reply."
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"
this is like a difficult riddle !
A farmer was getting a bit older , so he decided with his three sons how they were supposed to devide the cattle among the three of them .
Look ,he said , my oldest Matthew gets 1/2 of the cattle .
Jo , my second gets 1/4 ; and young Jimmy gets 1/5 !!
A few days later , the father was feeling really sick and wanted to get it all in order . He told his sons to do it as quick as possible !
Two days later , the three man came to their fathers bed and said : Dad , we just cannot do what you ask !!! As you know , we have 19 cows . Now how are we supposed to devide those ????
It is impossible to take 1/2 , 1/4 , nor 1/5 from 19 ...........:confused: :confused: :confused:
Oh you stupid sons , I thought you knew better !!
Okay , I will help you : go and ask farmer Rogers if we can borrow one of his cows just for an hour !!!
okay , that's what they did !
So , how many cows do we have now , said the old farmer ??
20 DAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well ,Matthew gets 1/2 of 20 , so that is 10 cows .
Jo gets 1/4 of 20 , so that is 5 cows .
Jimmy gets 1/5 of 20 , so that is 4 cows !!
10 + 5 + 4 = 19 cows right !!???
okay then !!! now take that cow from next door back to his owner !!!!! I can die in peace now !!:confused: :confused: