Too Good Not To Pass Along
- A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.
- She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo and behold a Genie appeared.
- The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So what'll it be?
- The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "Iwant peace in the Middle East.
- See the map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
- The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not that good!
- I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
- The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well I've never been able to find the right man.
- You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the house cleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.
- That's what I wish for-a good mate."
- The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that f*ckin' map."
Top Ten Signs Your Dog Is More Intelligent Than You
10. Neighbors complain about loud music and howling coming from your apartment in the middle of the day.
9. You find mysterious sculpture of a human (who looks strikingly like you) on a leash in your living room.
8. Ice floating in toilet water.
7. Neighborhood cats bring dog treats to your doorstep.
6. Friends swear they've seen your car at the local meat-processing plant.
5. You can never find the leftovers.
4. The remote is covered with slobber, and the TV was left on The Nature Channel.
3. The dog doesn't lick itself anymore... now it's the cat's job.
2. Mensa mailings addressed to "Rover".
1. Your apartment keys no longer work.