A revelation: Ladies only, please! ARGH! Doctor's are such A$$e$

So I had my physical appt with my new Internal Medicine specialist today. It was a real hands-on approach and thorough. This part I liked.

His personality needs work. He seemed pleasant enough and wasn't overtly sarcastic, but his comments, manners, and choice of words leave much to be desired.

Do understand that I was on my most excellent behavior today. I wasn't a Wilhemina Milqetoast, but I was very polite and self-assured. I was actually calm, which is unusual for a doctor visit for me.

In no particular order: This one is first and last, he didn't have an A1C done on my blood taken 2 weeks back. This is an average of blood sugar levels over a period of a few months. More on this later.

He just had to point out the large cuff is called a thigh cuff. I decided that I was going to get along.

I think it started with my father's death. At the time it was called sarcoma. It was the 70s, and they didn't know what they now know. He kept calling it sarcoidosis. I finally responded that at the time it was called sarcoma and that's all I could tell him.

So when he asked about mom's heart problems, I phrased it very carefully. He was not interested in the fact that she died from Lupus.

He asked about my heart problems, my supposed coronary artery disease, and whether my arteries were clean. I told him the doc said the arteries looked good and didn't have any accumulations to worry over. His reply was that clean was different than good blood flow.

He had obviously read the reports, because he knew about the EP study that was done. However, he acted like I have CAD, which led to a discussion to the of various coronary specialists I saw and their diagnoses. We talked about the EP study trying to trigger sudden death, aka ventricular tachycardia, and his response was there is no such thing as sudden death, etc. I conceded the point after a while. He did not care that I was only repeating what I heard.

To shorten this (lots more arguments in the middle over silly stuff), he kept saying I was morbidly obese and asked if my brothers were. But it sounded like "beast." I called him on this and let it ride after he questioned me on my understanding of the term, but I realize now exactly what he was saying.

So at the end of the appt and we are reviewing bloodwork, which for the most part was good, I noticed the A1C wasn't in the results. He said he didn't know one needed to be done. I so completely missed that. He had read my file and knew about the A-Fib, but not the diabetes? Really?

He wanted me to try certain weight loss medications or surgeries. No more invasive stuff for me. At this point he kept interrupting me to ask why I hadn't lost any weight. He really wasn't interested in any thing that might interfere such as chemo, arthritis, etc. I told him that I need to exercise more, but I didn't know why I wasn't losing. He wasn't buying that and continued to interrupt me with the same question: "Why haven't you lost any weight?"

Finally,I had had enough. "That's it. We're done. I have never found negativity and rudeness to be productive." I gathered my stuff. WE finished up, and I got my prescription refills. Before leaving I talked to his nurse. I told her I was mad and didn't he know any better than to be negative to someone.

At least I know I am good to go. I see the rheumatologist next month and hopefully I'll get a report on my immune system.

Thanks for listening. I think I need to write more of this down. If he sends an email asking for an evaluation, I think I'll give him one.

I'm sorry to hear you had to be in the same room as this half-wit. Sometimes I wonder if doctors should be required to go through a simple human compassion course during their studies... and at times I wonder how some of them even get certified at all.

I have noticed a lot of doctors who have never had weight problems themselves tend to take a more aggressive approach when talking to patients that need to lose weight. The bombardment of "Why, why, why haven't you lost any weight?" always sounds accusatory and offensive. Although I have never been overweight, all of my immediate family (mom, dad, sister) have struggled immensely with it. It really makes me mad when people talk about losing weight as if it were a quick walk in the park.

I hope everything else checks out good with you, and that next time you end up with a better doctor! :)
(((hugs)))

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Originally Posted by Casper

I'm sorry to hear you had to be in the same room as this half-wit. Sometimes I wonder if doctors should be required to go through a simple human compassion course during their studies... and at times I wonder how some of them even get certified at all.
........

I hope everything else checks out good with you, and that next time you end up with a better doctor! :)
(((hugs)))

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Or even several walks in the park. I've dealt with fat snobs before, but his overall attitude of knowing more than I do about my past was surprising..

For now I'm stuck with an A$$. I got my prescriptions so hopefully I'm good for a while.

Wow, next time you need to see a doc, can you see someone else??
Him asking you multiple times about why you haven't lose weight sounds to me like he thinks you were lying to him about something.
Like he was trying to get you to admit something.

I would never go back to that doctor again, personally. But I know sometimes you don't have the luxury of choosing (although you should be able to).

Good luck with your health and that idiot. So sorry.

Can you see a different practitioner in the group? Not all doctors are a$$es.

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Originally Posted by mrspunkysmom

Or even several walks in the park. I've dealt with fat snobs before, but his overall attitude of knowing more than I do about my past was surprising..

For now I'm stuck with an A$$. I got my prescriptions so hopefully I'm good for a while.

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I would write to the head/administrator of the group. Unless they hear from patients, they will not know about this guys poor manners, and he'll never learn! Many, many years ago, I was treated rudely by the replacement when my allergy doctor retired. I groused about it to my primary care, and she not only said she'd write any allergy scrips I needed, but found me a different allergist when the need arose.

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Originally Posted by Karen

I would write to the head/administrator of the group. Unless they hear from patients, they will not know about this guys poor manners, and he'll never learn! Many, many years ago, I was treated rudely by the replacement when my allergy doctor retired. I groused about it to my primary care, and she not only said she'd write any allergy scrips I needed, but found me a different allergist when the need arose.

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A friend recommended someone that her DIL uses. I might go that route next time. I do have a GP in the area. I like them, but they aren't equipped to handle someone with multiple problems. I've satisfied their requirements, so I'll keep my GP and make arrangements in 6 months for another Internist.

Sorry to hear you got stuck with such a no brainer. I would report his conduct and I would also change to someone more respectful.
I guess it's time to count my blessings, I have the most understanding, caring and compassionate doctor that ever was. I pray that the raw deals handed out to our doctors by our government doesn't make him pack up and leave like so many of our other doctors. Been very lucky with all my doctors up to date.

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Originally Posted by Asiel

Sorry to hear you got stuck with such a no brainer. I would report his conduct and I would also change to someone more respectful.
I guess it's time to count my blessings, I have the most understanding, caring and compassionate doctor that ever was. I pray that the raw deals handed out to our doctors by our government doesn't make him pack up and leave like so many of our other doctors. Been very lucky with all my doctors up to date.

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Thank you all for your understanding. Thankfully there is a backup plan in place. There are two more I can try. One is recommended by a friend. The other is local to where I work.

Okay, so I am venting again in this post.

The appt was Thursday. I got a letter today informing me that he is releasing me from his care. I should have figured that was the deal when he wrote on the form that the next visit was at my discretion. I also didn't have to pay anything when I left. If he bills me later, I'm not paying. And I am reporting him.

He must have taken me seriously when I said "we're done."

Self-righteous little b@astard. I still can't believe some of the stuff he argued with me over. And he started the fights.

Well, good riddance!

I'll take the positive results with me. This is my bloodwork, and the new knowledge I have about my father's death. His questions caused me to look up Kaposi's Sarcoma versus Sarcoidosis. He must have had one or both of these near the end. He started with bone cancer in his right hip. He had injured/fractured his hip when he fell off of a jeep somewhere in the Far East, Laos maybe? This was in the early sixties during all of the defoliation spraying during the Viet Nam war. But back then the government also took care of its soldiers and their families.

Thanks for listening.

My sister and I have agreed "good riddance to bad parts" having both parted company with gall bladders in the past year and a half, and I with my thyroid gland. But in your case, it is good riddance to a bad doc!

When my endocrinologist retired a few years ago, I was given another doctor in the practice. During check ups, he'd sit at his desk looking at the file and never once looked at me. Questions were not accepted or answered, he discouraged even asking. Things went completely out of control and I ended up in the emergency room. At the hospital they ran a series of tests and found that he had me on the wrong insulin for over a year. My son was furious when he heard this and insisted I find another doctor. Now I'm with an excellent doctor that I found on the American Diabetes Association website. You might want to try that if nothing else works out for you.

You might not remember this post nor understand why I need to vent again. It's because I left out a crucial event during that appt, and it has been gnawing on me for the last several weeks. I've been crying a lot, even if I don't look like I'm crying. And the appt has been playing over in my mind for the last two weeks. Every time I ask myself what is wrong, that appt shows up. And I've been a grumpy crotchety touchy b1tch that last ten weeks or so, getting worse each week. And I've been so depressed and tired.

I left stuff out, and I don't know why. Perhaps I thought I had dealt with it?

At the beginning of the appt asked if I wanted a "complete" exam, which I've not had since the surgery. I declined. I usually don't let my GPs get that familiar with me. At least twice during the horrible physical, he or his nurse asked if I wanted the complete exam. I said no.

I did agree to a breast exam. Well, I'm a large girl, but he treated me so disrespectfully. While talking to me, he "examined me" but it really looked like he was a kid poking jello, just to watch it jiggle. Yes, he poked my breasts several times and watched them jiggle. He wouldn't have found a tumor that way. I wish I was the type of girl that could b1tch slap him. He so deserves it. The nurse was in there but was not really looking.

Before he began the exam, his nurse had me strip and put on the gown. However the physical part began an hour later. During the hour I am sitting almost-butt naked with only my underwear and a gown, while he questions me and insults me, my family, etc. Yes, I'm in there an hour with only a gown on while he is insulting me and no nurse.

I came in just to apologize for any cranky behavior lately, but while reading my original vent, I discover I left part of it out. I'm wondering why. Perhaps I didn't want the fellows to feel embarrassed.

So, I'm refusing to pay the bill, and I am writing a letter to the hospital system that employs him.

Thanks for listening.

And he has done this before. He is far too good at hos he treated me. He's had practice.

I am glad you are writing that letter, keep a copy for yourself, but send it registered mail so someone has to acknowledge they receive it. Future potential patients will thank you.

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Originally Posted by Karen

I am glad you are writing that letter, keep a copy for yourself, but send it registered mail so someone has to acknowledge they receive it. Future potential patients will thank you.

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Thanks for that idea! I will.

You have to be your advocate when it comes to doctors & medicine. Doctors are suppose to LISTEN. It sounds like this doctor lacks bedside manners. He needs a bed pan over the head (and a full one at that).

My husband has a weight issue, he has had it since he was born. His metabolism is slow & he is a good doer. Every time he goes to the doctor it is you have to exercise & lose weight. He is very active & farms, but that is not considered exercise chasing cattle, shoveling feed, cutting wood, etc. So the doctor sent him for a quick fix exercise therapy at the hospital, he passed the stress test after that. Then there is the borderline diabetic thing. Next he is sent to a dietician. I went along & we already are eating correctly. He did end up dropping the pop thought which is a good thing. He has lost 15 lbs., but has to eat like a mouse & does feel better health wise so it has been worth it so far.

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Originally Posted by Bonny

You have to be your advocate when it comes to doctors & medicine. Doctors are suppose to LISTEN. It sounds like this doctor lacks bedside manners. He needs a bed pan over the head (and a full one at that).

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He is a pervert and a user, but that's another story.

I do need to exercise more, and the diet needs some tweaking (I'm gluten free so I eat rather healthy anyway), but between the meds and the autoimmune disorder, my metabolism is just horrible.

The depression over his maltreatment of me as a person has been the major obstacle.

Thanks for sharing.

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Originally Posted by mrspunkysmom

Thanks for that idea! I will.

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You're welcome. From everything you said, I doubt yours is the first complaint they will get, but it may be the one that leads them to take action!

Maybe I'm a little slow, but there WILL NOT be a next time! "Just 'saying"

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Originally Posted by moosmom

Maybe I'm a little slow, but there WILL NOT be a next time! "Just 'saying"

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Like I so agree. I knew half-way through, before the physical exam began, that I would not be returning. But I had invested two work days into the doctor just to get refills on Thyroid medicine, and I wasn't giving up.

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Originally Posted by Karen

You're welcome. From everything you said, I doubt yours is the first complaint they will get, but it may be the one that leads them to take action!

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Let's hope so.



I found this article n doctor abuse that confirms what I though about the incident. It's abuse even if sex or rape didn't occur.

http://forwomenseyesonly.com/2013/04...ents-barriers/

and another forum.

http://curezone.org/forums/am.asp?i=890422

This one is an editorial on bad doctoring. It contains some foul language.

http://forwomenseyesonly.com/2013/08...or-genitals-2/

This search is therapeutic for me.

I'm so sorry this happened. It's doctors like that which make many women reluctant to have their "female" exams. The fit for two types of medical practitioners is critical IMO: one's OB/GYN and one's dentist. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Karen

I would write to the head/administrator of the group. Unless they hear from patients, they will not know about this guys poor manners, and he'll never learn! Many, many years ago, I was treated rudely by the replacement when my allergy doctor retired. I groused about it to my primary care, and she not only said she'd write any allergy scrips I needed, but found me a different allergist when the need arose.

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MSM, is your former doctor board certified in internal medicine? Maybe copy your letter to the certification board for internal medicine. I can find that information for you. I'm sure they would not be pleased to hear of a boarded physician's poor manners.

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Originally Posted by cassiesmom

MSM, is your former doctor board certified in internal medicine? Maybe copy your letter to the certification board for internal medicine. I can find that information for you. I'm sure they would not be pleased to hear of a boarded physician's poor manners.

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Thanks Elyse. I'm working on several options.

I'll keep y'all informed