I Feel Like Such A Failure Update 9-15-13

Hi everyone. I just got back from taking Rory to the vets because he's been throwing up his food almost daily for several weeks now. I just thought that he was eating too fast but it appears that he may have some kind of an intestinal bug. It took me over a week to even figure out which cat was throwing up.:( His vet bill was over $400 because they did an ultrasound and bloodwork. I now realize that I have way too many cats. I just can't afford to give them the care that they need. I called their foster mom and told her my situation and I will be returning 6 cats back to her by the end of the week. This was a very hard phone call to make but we've been very slow at work so I haven't been making much money lately and have been barely scraping by. She did understand and her rescue group does want the adopters to return the cats back to them if something happens. I feel like such a failure and I'm so mad at myself for even allowing myself to adopt the last 6 cats. I will be returning Summer, Levi, Bentley, Radar, Reece, and Rory. I sure hope that they'll all be able to find a much better and less crowded loving and caring home than mine. I still feel so sick about this.:( I hope that you'll all understand.

You are not a failure. Just think of them as long-term foster kitties you were caring for, and know they are going to go to new homes as loved, more mature kitties than when you got them!

I'm so sorry to hear this - prayers for strength

{{{{hugs}}}} I think we all know what it's like when our pocketbook gets smaller than our very large and loving hearts.

What you are doing takes a lot of courage, and is very difficult. At least their original foster mom is a good one! :love:

Prayers going out.

You are doing the absolute right thing KAK! I have sometimes wondered how you kept up with all those cats! Your heart was in the right place when you adopted them and it is in the right place now.:love:

Hugs and prayers for you, Tracey, and all these kitties you love so much. You are not a failure.

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love: from Pat and cats

I'm sorry Tracy. I feel so bad for you. Your heart was in the right place. You're not a failure.

Thanks so much for all of the support.:) I know that I'm making the right decision even though it still hurts.

Tracey you are not a failure. Reality set in (sometimes it does that in spades) and you're doing what has to be done for the kitties. {{{Hugs}}}

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by krazyaboutkatz

Thanks so much for all of the support.:) I know that I'm making the right decision even though it still hurts.

---

Of course it hurts. We are human. We try to do the best we can and help those in need. You have made a very difficult decision, but you saw that it needed to be made. I am so sorry it came to this. Thank goodness you made this decision before any of them suffered any serious, major illness, which you could not afford! That is a good thing. And oh how I know how hard it is to sort out who is ill when you have multiples. I had to do that once w/ a UTI and 'someone' peeing outside the box. Took me 2 days to sort it out and then the darn vet (not my vet) told me off for letting the kitty suffer for the extra 2 days. Geesh! We in rescue don't need that, we already know! We see it, we feel it, we struggle with it.

I'm glad that Rory is on the mend now. He will feel better soon!

I don't know about the other three, but re Rory, Reece and Radar, do mention if you think any of them are bonded and should be kept together if at all possible. Makes the change less stressful for them, if they can remain with a bonded pal. I think 2 of them came in together and may be bonded? You will know.

Making hard decisions hurts. If it didn't hurt, it wouldn't be hard. Sending you cyber hugs as you go through the transition.

Tracey you are anything BUT a failure!! I often marvel at your ability to do so much and a decision as tough as this one is not taken lightly. Your responsibility and accountability is to be admired - many would not/ could not have the courage to even try. These kitties will always be your babies and you have done them a great justice - don't forget the good stuff - it counts for everything. :love::love:Betty

No, you are not a failure. It's hard to monitor that many. Good luck with it. I'm sure the six will do well in another environment thanks to your care.

Hugs and you are doing what is best for the kitties and you. You are no help to them if you are stressed. Mine are rescues or I would return a few to foster care. So I do the best I can.

So sorry it had to come to this but don't consider yourself a failure when those kittens had a loving home with you while you were able to offer it. With the economy so many people are having a hard time keeping up with costly vet bills. Your phone call took a lot of guts to make , you put the kittens first and did the right thing no matter how hard it was for you--- congratulations.

I am very glad that you finally begin to think of yourself as well. I began to worry after your last adoptions. I think even 2 are quite some work when you are alone wirh them and really try to play with them, clean their poop and feed them at the two sides of a full-time job and I just cannot imagine how much work all your kitties must have been.
I hope they all find wonderful places and I am sure they will as they have learned to live peacefully with humans and kitties.

Knowing your limits does not make you a failure. I don't know if I know anyone who loves their kitties as much as you do, and I know you are putting them first.

I'm so sorry, Tracey, and please don't feel like a failure! You're a person who loves cats unconditionally, and you've adopted them them with best intentions. To realize there are now too many to care for and to return them is a very hard decision, but also an act of love. You're very brave! (((HUGS)))

IMO this is an incredibly responsible thing to do. We hear so many stories about people getting way over their limit, and not getting help until it's too late. You did not wait until it was too late, but are getting help now. I hope you have visitation rights, at least! Good luck.

Thanks again everyone.:) I'm just so thankful that the rescue group where I adopted them from has the policy that if something happens and you can't care for them or they just don't work out etc. that they want them returned back to their rescue group. Yes, it was a hard phone call to make because I've become friends with their foster mom and I didn't want her to think of me as a person who adopts cats and then returns them. I know that it can be a 20 year commitment. Things will be much better and easier for me so I do have to keep that in mind. I won't have visitation rights and I don't think that would be a good idea any way because it would just make me and the cats too upset. I will ask their foster mom to please let me know when and if each cat is adopted.

I just received a phone call from my vet and Rory's blood work is fine so at least his foster mom won't have to worry about anything else with him.:) I also told her what I plan to do and she agreed that I was doing the right thing. She said that she has 5 cats herself and some days she feels like this is even too many. She also wished that more rescue groups would except their cats back when things don't work out.

{{hugs}} & love.

You would be a failure if you kept these cats and were not able to give them the proper care they need.
The fact that you know this and are doing the best for the cats shows you are a good person.
It is a difficult decision, but as you know it is the right one.
It's great that the foster mom can take them back.
And I'm glad Rory will be fine too. :)

Will the foster mom let you visit?? Until they are adopted anyway.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Taz_Zoee

You would be a failure if you kept these cats and were not able to give them the proper care they need.
The fact that you know this and are doing the best for the cats shows you are a good person.
It is a difficult decision, but as you know it is the right one.
It's great that the foster mom can take them back.
And I'm glad Rory will be fine too. :)

Will the foster mom let you visit?? Until they are adopted anyway.

---

I was thinking the same thing this morning. You are doing the best for the cats. Hugs and lovies to ALL your kitties!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by krazyaboutkatz

I won't have visitation rights and I don't think that would be a good idea any way because it would just make me and the cats too upset.

---

No visitations.

You are doing the right thing. As much as we want too, we can't help every cat. At least you know they went to a place that will take good care of them. My heart breaks for you. You are living my worse nightmare: having to give some of my babies up. Prayers on the way. :love:

I can't imagine having to make that decision, but I admire the fact that you put your cats ahead of yourself. Thats such a perfect example of how much you really do love them. Sending good vibes for happy endings all around. :)
((((HUGS)))) :love:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Freckles

No visitations.

---

Oops, I guess I should read the posts completely. Thanks.:o

Thanks again everyone.:) I sure hope that they'll be as happy when they're back with their foster mom as they seem to be with me. I also hope that she'll be able to keep them all together in a room because they all get along well together and it'll be an easier transition if they all have each other.

I don't post often but wanted to pop in and say how much I admire you. You are such a responsible pet caretaker. I agree with Karen - you can try to ease your mind and maybe think of these guys as long term foster kitties. Many cyber hugs to you. ((hugs)) Also, pets to your little ones.

Thanks Crystal.:)

Well today their foster mom came over and I ended up returning only 5 of my cats back to her. I know it was supposed to be 6 cats but even though Summer was the last cat that I adopted, we've formed a great bond. She was the one that came to me with fleas and then had to go on pred for a while to help stop her itching. Now she feels great and her bald spots are all gone.:)

Today was very sad especially when Reece and Rory put up such a fight trying to stay with me.:( They didn't want to be put into their carriers and I have the scratches to prove it.:( Later Finnegan seemed to be searching for the other cats. It was so sad to watch this.:( Even though it still hurts a lot, I know I made the right decision. Their foster mom will continue to keep me updated about them. I still feel so bad for even adopting this many cats in the first place.:( It will take some time for both me and the other cats to adjust and feel normal again. Thanks again for all of the emotional support.:)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by krazyaboutkatz

Well today their foster mom came over and I ended up returning only 5 of my cats back to her. I know it was supposed to be 6 cats but even though Summer was the last cat that I adopted, we've formed a great bond. She was the one that came to me with fleas and then had to go on pred for a while to help stop her itching. Now she feels great and her bald spots are all gone.:)

Today was very sad especially when Reece and Rory put up such a fight trying to stay with me.:( They didn't want to be put into their carriers and I have the scratches to prove it.:( Later Finnegan seemed to be searching for the other cats. It was so sad to watch this.:( Even though it still hurts a lot, I know I made the right decision. Their foster mom will continue to keep me updated about them. I still feel so bad for even adopting this many cats in the first place.:( It will take some time for both me and the other cats to adjust and feel normal again. Thanks again for all of the emotional support.:)

---

Aww, we'll be thinking of you! It is nice that their foster mom has agreed to keep you updated! They are such handsome kitties, I bet someone or several someones will fall in love with them quickly!

((((HUGS)))), Tracey.

It's good that she'll keep you updated, and at least you know they are in wonderful, loving hands.

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} and ~~~~~~~PURRS~~~~~~~ and :love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love: to you, Tracey.

Just catching up. I am in tears for all, the kitties who moved, the kitties who stayed, and YOU, Tracey. Yes, it will take a bit of time to adjust to the new family. Sending cyber hugs your way.

{{{hugs}}} :love::love:

Thanks everyone.:) Today has been much better. Now feeding time is much easier and calmer and litter box cleaning is also much faster and easier.:) Finnegan has been a real lovebug today and last night several of my cats were also very lovey. They know that I need them right now.:love: Colby and Finnegan have been running and playing a lot together like they used to which is great to see. Blaze was also able to sit in my lap which he's been unable to do for quite a while because Levi was such a lap hog. We'll all be fine. Now I know that I'll be able to take care of the remaining 8 cats so this is a huge relief.:) The foster mom has already sent me a few e-mails mainly to see how I was. She said the cats are upset right now but they should begin to settle down in a few days. I sure hope so.:(

I'm sorry to hear that you had to bring some of your cats back to their foster home.
I know you love all of your cats and you are doing the best thing for all of them.
Sending hugs your way.:love: