Hubby makes me mad( good update first op )

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Originally Posted by ashleycat

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Since I've started counselling.. I'm trying to get my confidence back. Become a stronger person. But even she says she would benefit going there.

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If ONLY to see some positive role modelling. And, frankly, I think you are lying out your tush. Out. Your. Tush.

"Everyone" can tell you what to do? Great! Take 25% of the advice offered here and ACT on it. That won't work, though, will it? NOOOOOOO....that requires hard work, dedication, commitment. You are kind of lacking those skills, sweetie. Your poor, poor daughter.


Oh, I know! I know! Since your conselor seems keen on telling you what to do, take this whole thread, and show it to her. Let her read it, in its entirety. See what she says, then! Fat chance, I know, right?

counseling is for me, but he goes with me now.

I'm depressed because of how he treats me, his passive agressiveness. I thought it was post partum till my counselor told me his behviour is causing it.

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Originally Posted by ashleycat

counseling is for me, but he goes with me now.

I'm depressed because of how he treats me, his passive agressiveness. I thought it was post partum till my counselor told me his behviour is causing it.

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There is absolutely NO WAY your counselor is telling you your husband's behaviour is causing your depression. Ain't. No. Way.

I've been trying to make it work for a long time now. I've been talking with him all the time. He keeps saying he will try harder to make me stay, but he keeps falling back.

So your husband tells you what to do. Your counsellor tells you how to feel. Do you do any sort of critical thinking on your own? :rolleyes:

well. beleive what you want. Only I know my situation.

Wow, this thread has progressed and I agree with everyone here. I thought all night about this and now that more info is coming to light..... if a tattoo is SO important to throw your family away, then there's something more here than a tattoo. The tattoo is the tangible thing to fight over.

You don't seem to know what you want or even who you are. I am sad for you.

The big question in my mind is if you are so different than why did you even date in the first place? My husband and I are opposites but we work very well together. Just about every couple can list a dozen things where they are opposites. Does that mean they clash on all fronts? No. It just means they have their own minds and own interests -- thats GOOD for a marriage. We don't all want to be carbon copies of each other.

It sounds as if neither are willing to change. You both have dug in your heels and are fighting tooth and nail for THEIR way of thinking and no longer comprimising. I feel sorry for everyone involved.

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Originally Posted by chocolatepuppy

I would get rid of husband, sorry, that's just my opinion. ;)

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Hey! Me too!!

the tattoo isn't what I'm fighting about. It's him controling me. I'm tired of him controling me.

we were together in the beg because we liked eachother. He said he liked me for me. But is now not letting me be.

Aaaaaaaaaaand so we go back to my comment from two pages ago.

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Originally Posted by Samantha Puppy

If you aren't willing to work at changing things and instead come up with excuse after excuse about why you are where you are in life, things are never going to get better for you.

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Good luck with it. I think you've about exhausted your sympathies here.

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Originally Posted by ashleycat

I've been trying to make it work for a long time now. I've been talking with him all the time. He keeps saying he will try harder to make me stay, but he keeps falling back.

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He shouldn't have to try to make you stay - you should be there because that's where you want to be

By losing control of yourself, throwing things, kicking things, etc., you are acting like a child, and your husband will continue to treat you like a child. I think you need to find a new counselor. One who can guide you toward learning to think and act like an adult in new and different situations. Sometimes common sense isn't so common (I have none ;) ), but you can learn how to think and survive on your own in an adult world. You may want to think about changing counselors.

And Johanna and Jaime, I really agree with you about people who live their lives playing the victim as opposed to taking control. Let me also add, that taking control doesn't always mean "winning" but learning how to make the best of the results of any situation.

I've only started acting out in the past 1 1/2 years. I start feeling this feeling in my chest like my heart is just racing. I need to buy a punching bag to let it out. I've always kept my anger inside. I paint and make jewelry. but I guess I've just got so much built up, that those things no longer help.

Letting anger out is a good thing. Letting it out in a way that may be physically intimidating to another (throwing and kicking things), is not. Again, perhaps different counselor may be able to guide you in a manner that will help you to improve things for yourself and, consequently, for your family.

I just bought a card, cake and a gift book.

I'm going to write an apology for the way I acted.

I'll tell him that we can use the tatoo money and go shopping for clothes for me that HE wants me to wear. But I have a say in wether or not I like it. And if getting rid of the bunny means sooooooo much, then I guess I'll have to rehome her. Having her has caused a few fights. It's not worth it. Although I would hate to see her go. I love her. I do have a cat and dog.

Hopefully he will apologize too.

I think I need to updose my meds to get better control over my outburst. As they are reletively new and not been able to handle them yet.

We both have problems. We are working on them. I'm just getting anxious because I want to be better now. It's hard living unhappy.