I hope it is OK to post this

I have had Ulcerative Colitis for 33 years. I was always told if I got regular screenings every 1 to 2 years, if they ever found cancer it would be small and could be removed and I would be OK.

After being brushed off for months in my hometown, I went to a large city. Day before yesterday they found cancer and it is big. I have to have my whole colon removed and always wear a bag. Plus cancer and a two hour drive while sick.

My cats feet keep swelling up for no reason. My son is coming home to take him to the vet's. They give him a cortisone shot and he gets better but the shot can make him diabetic at any time. Because he is a slasher at the vet's they said he would not be able to do the required bloodwork and would need to be put to sleep if he became diabetic.

I am in shock over the cancer. I have no family except my son with whom I live and a daughter as far frome here as she could get. I am sitting here alone waiting for the surgeons to call. I have been awake all night. I don't think I will ever sleep again.

I don't feel loving towards my cat. Every time he sees me he just meows for food. He does not cuddle much. I don't know what I am doing . I am having hallucinations from no sleep. The fireplace logs are pink and green and jumping up and down.
I feel terrible that my poor cat seems annoying. I would never hurt him.

I have raed that in cases of cancer your body chemistry changes so radically that your Cat will no longer know you as scent is thier major means of identification.:(:(
And when youre in that much pain many things that you love will irritate you.:mad:
We are praying for You and Your Cats that you can recover and be friends again.:love:

I should not have posted when I did. I was diagnosed with cancer two days ago about this time. I have not slept.

I feel so much better now.

The surgeon has called and they are bending over backward to make things easier on me because I have such a hard to manage anxiety level.

I have succesfully gotten records sent from down here to up there two hours away. It was complicated but I feel like I did something right.

They gave me some medicine to help with the scary thoughts and it works.

Stinky is back from the vet. They gave him the shot and said they think the chronic foot swelling is related to his eosinophylic granulomatosis complex he gets in other places. He feels real saucy when he gets back from the vet. We have cuddled. And we are going to play because he is fun when he is saucy.

Thank you for not judging me harshly. I have never had a more terrifying experience than hearing those words "you have cancer." And the waiting to see how bad it is is already agonizing.

I am praying for you. I hope everything works out well.:love:

I am glad you and Stinky are both feeling a bit better. It is good to know what was causing his problems, and I hope your doctors find ways to help you through this. The "c" word is so scary, but thankfully there have been many medical advances in our lifetimes, and I hope yours is survivable. Sending prayers your way.

I am so glad Stinky is feeling better enough to be saucy and playful! That must do your heart good!

You had an awful lot to come down on you all at once. It's understandable that you were upset because you've got a lot to think about. You must take care of yourself first so that you and Stinky can have many more happy years together. Prayers are going up for you right now that you'll pass through the fire quickly, easily and in peace. Keep the faythe. (((HUGS))) :love:

:( So sorry for the bad news.. See I have real bad Colitis too.. I have always wondered what I would do if I had to hear the words of Cancer..

Well I am glad you & Stinky feel better today.. I do hope all works out good & well for you both.. Sending lots of Prayers & Huggss..

There are times in life when everything seems to happen at once. I hope that things will be OK for you. Maybe once Stinky feels better, he may want to cuddle with you...Take care, and please keep us posted....

I will have you in my prayers as you go through surgery and treatment. I know what it is like to hear the "C" word and I know you feel a little overwhelmed right now. Try to keep a positive attitude through this, because your treatment outlook can be helped a great deal by a positive attitude.

First of all thank you for sharing your story.
My name is Astrid and I'd like to send you and little Stinky a big hug and all my best wishes.
Please keep the faith no matter what, a positive attitude will help you go through this.. and remember that you have your PT friends here for you so please keep us updated ;)
I'll be praying for you.

Sending you and your kitty hugs and prayers!:love:

i will keep you and stinky on my prayer list