RICHARD
02-20-2006, 02:01 PM
I find modern technology boring and uninspiring.
I do not need to know bits and bytes, GIGs and RAM?
Intel inside? You'd beter, it rained on Friday!
Pentium? So what!
Operating system? I ain't no surgeon!
So when my computer crashes what do I do?
Fix it myself!
-----------------------
I tossed a newspaper in the floor and ran over it with my office chair.
As I turned around, with the keyboard in my lap..the CPU flops over and everything is lost. My internet radio, my report and the monitor blacks out.
I pick up the unit, turn it off and on again.
It starts to beep like a wounded computer and the fan sounds like the wind thru your open window on the freeway.
--------------------------------------------
1 I am in trouble, I just killed the darn thing.
2 I'll have to call the system administrator, who despite the fact she has a IT
certificate, who will not touch the machine but will, look and listen to the machine and tell me to call "The Help Line".
A total waste of the human brain, that one! :rolleyes:
3 The HELP line is a place where you call and tell them what is wrong, they write out a "ticket", then use the computer to send that ticket to the local IT department. (This means you have to call an office 40 miles away, they take the message and send it back, another 40 miles, where it is ignored for most of the day...you get a call at 4:59 p.m. and they tell you they will see you at 11 the next day.)
4 The local IT department is staffed with the most unrelialble set of men and women on the planet. YoU will get a call that goes like this...
Hello?
(Monotone voice) You got a computer problem?
AH, Yeah....
This is Dopey from IT, what is the problem?
I knocked over the CPU and knocked the thing silly, the screen went dark.
I shut it down and then turned it on and nothing happened.
(I refuse to reboot, save, open a dialogue box or use any of the silly commands IT people want to hear.)
And what happened then?
Well, the fan on the machine sounds like a vacumn cleaner and it beeps like a wounded R2D2.
Dude, I loved Star Wars.....
-----------------------------
Finding an IT guy here is like looking for a cop......the cool IT guy looks like Billy Dee Williams (IT ALWAYS GOES BACK TO STAR WARS, EH?), Dresses like Puff Crappy, Smells like the Giorgio factory and ALWAYS has a foam coffee cup in his hand.
USELESS....You stop to ask him a question and he answers with,
HAVE YOU CALLED THE HELP LINE?
----------------------------------------
Soooo,
what do I do?
I open the CPU up, Slap the fan unit. Hit and jiggle the power unit box and
voila'...My computer works again....It took me five minutes, I called no one and just had to rerun my report...
---------------------------------------------
The moral of the story?
All the magical, electical, technical BS that people think will fix a problem usually doesn't. It just takes an understanding of what gravity does to the innards of a CPU put together by the IT department people.
They are bound to jury-rig a computer that they will never use or see again.
I mean how much attention can you possible put towards your job while dreaming of Dungeons and Dragons or trying to figure out how to get to the fifth level of HALO?
:rolleyes:
I do not need to know bits and bytes, GIGs and RAM?
Intel inside? You'd beter, it rained on Friday!
Pentium? So what!
Operating system? I ain't no surgeon!
So when my computer crashes what do I do?
Fix it myself!
-----------------------
I tossed a newspaper in the floor and ran over it with my office chair.
As I turned around, with the keyboard in my lap..the CPU flops over and everything is lost. My internet radio, my report and the monitor blacks out.
I pick up the unit, turn it off and on again.
It starts to beep like a wounded computer and the fan sounds like the wind thru your open window on the freeway.
--------------------------------------------
1 I am in trouble, I just killed the darn thing.
2 I'll have to call the system administrator, who despite the fact she has a IT
certificate, who will not touch the machine but will, look and listen to the machine and tell me to call "The Help Line".
A total waste of the human brain, that one! :rolleyes:
3 The HELP line is a place where you call and tell them what is wrong, they write out a "ticket", then use the computer to send that ticket to the local IT department. (This means you have to call an office 40 miles away, they take the message and send it back, another 40 miles, where it is ignored for most of the day...you get a call at 4:59 p.m. and they tell you they will see you at 11 the next day.)
4 The local IT department is staffed with the most unrelialble set of men and women on the planet. YoU will get a call that goes like this...
Hello?
(Monotone voice) You got a computer problem?
AH, Yeah....
This is Dopey from IT, what is the problem?
I knocked over the CPU and knocked the thing silly, the screen went dark.
I shut it down and then turned it on and nothing happened.
(I refuse to reboot, save, open a dialogue box or use any of the silly commands IT people want to hear.)
And what happened then?
Well, the fan on the machine sounds like a vacumn cleaner and it beeps like a wounded R2D2.
Dude, I loved Star Wars.....
-----------------------------
Finding an IT guy here is like looking for a cop......the cool IT guy looks like Billy Dee Williams (IT ALWAYS GOES BACK TO STAR WARS, EH?), Dresses like Puff Crappy, Smells like the Giorgio factory and ALWAYS has a foam coffee cup in his hand.
USELESS....You stop to ask him a question and he answers with,
HAVE YOU CALLED THE HELP LINE?
----------------------------------------
Soooo,
what do I do?
I open the CPU up, Slap the fan unit. Hit and jiggle the power unit box and
voila'...My computer works again....It took me five minutes, I called no one and just had to rerun my report...
---------------------------------------------
The moral of the story?
All the magical, electical, technical BS that people think will fix a problem usually doesn't. It just takes an understanding of what gravity does to the innards of a CPU put together by the IT department people.
They are bound to jury-rig a computer that they will never use or see again.
I mean how much attention can you possible put towards your job while dreaming of Dungeons and Dragons or trying to figure out how to get to the fifth level of HALO?
:rolleyes: