my predicament...re kitties...help ...

[carole]

I have got myself in a state, most of you will know the story by now of Dianne my neighbour and her cats, Duchess and Victoria, who I had spayed and the kittens rescued.

I feel in a no win situation now, which I also feel I have brought upon myself, with good intentions.

Duchess and Victoria have moved in to my backyard, while i am more than happy to have them there and take care of them, i even posted pics of how happy and content they were, I am torn by what to do about it, while Dianne is still here , not really a problem,but if she moves on she will want to take them with her, that is my predicament, I love them both and know their lives will not be as it should be, but by the same token ,I don't think i can take on two more kitties, I even turned down the chance to have Duchess's beautiful tortie girl because of that reason.

For now with donations I am happily feeding them twice daily, but there is much more to that as we all know, de-worming, de-fleaing, vaccinations and vet fees if anything goes wrong, also I don't really think Dianne will surrender the cats anyhow., they would have to be outdoor cats, which they are already, but the difference being if I owned them I would be building an outdoor warm shelter for them, my allergy just could not handle four cats, i have been having major problems lately because of too many kitties, and also they are not house-trained to my knowledge.

So you see folks, I feel in such a bind, infact I feel sick to the stomach, knowing there is no real happy ending here, those girls just love it here and hardly venture back home, just now and then, even my cats are sort of accepting them, no big spats as of yet.

I am finding myself becoming depressed and anxious because i just cannot see an answer to my problem,when she moves on and she will eventually, i am going to be heartbroken, i won't ever see the girls again, and i know their lives will be awful again, that is hard to live with,but i cannot really afford to give them the best either, but yes better than Dianne, but I am scared of taking on too much, and falling flat on my face, in otherwords all kitties will suffer, that is not good either, I guess if she moves it will be taken out of my hands and beyond my control anyway. I know there is no real answer to my problem but i just need to get it off my chest and share, thanks for listening.

[finn's mom]

Wow, that is a sticky spot. I don't have any really good advice. :( I wish you the very best of luck, Carole, and, I wish there was more that I could do.

[carole]

Thanks Kari, I don't think anyone can really give me advice, but it is eating away at me so much, I just had to share, I honestly don't know what to do either, a part of me wants Dianne to say yes you can have the cats, not that I know she will for sure, probably won't, but then on the other hand can i really take care of them, they cannot be re-homed either really, as they have to be together and are outdoor and not house-trained and I am afraid not many people go for that.

Part of me is saying oh why did you get involved,now look what you have done, but i know in my heart getting them spayed and rescuing the kittens was the only humane thing i could do and I don't regret that for one moment.

Oh life is a bummer sometimes, if only i were a bit richer all would be solved, still if hubby gets that job, we just might beable to scrape by with two more kitties, thats if she gives them up in the first place.

[finn's mom]

I think you did the right thing. And, honestly, don't worry about it until you talk to Dianne. You should find out what her thoughts are first, before you even start concerning yourself with keeping them. One thing at a time, baby steps, and, it will all work out for the best. I think you're a good person for what you've done, and, sometimes being the good person can be one of the most trying things to do. But, it's worth it.

[Laura's Babies]

I know EXACTLY where you are and what you are going through! I went through exaclty that same thing with Midnight/Samantha, except that she was a indoor kitty thrown out and used a litter box... Then her Mommie started talking about moving. I begged her for then Midnight and she refused but I knew Midnight would be cast out of the house again, in unfamlilar surroundings with NO ONE to feed her and look after her..... then I worried that she would try to find her way back here across heavily traveled bridges.. I was NEVER so glad when I got off the boat and found out they had moved back here months later but Midnight was still neglected and thrown out.... Pregnant and had kittens....

I had, had enough and Midnight was fixing to go "poof" in the night and the day before the planned event, she walked over and told me I could have her! Took me and Samantha 2 years to accomplish that but Samantha NEVER gave up on me nor I on HER! My rewards from Samantha have made every tear I shed worth it.

Sometimes though, you have to "Let Go and Let God", then again, maybe yours will have as happy a ending as mine and Samantha's.

Could these babies go "poof" one at a time maybe..... you find someone to give them a good home where you know they will be alright?

[Miss Meow]

Carole, can you talk to Dianne about your concerns?

You're taken on a lot of stress by doing such a good deed and it might help to share with her your questions about her plans and if she might move away in the future.

Four cats is only a tad more expensive then two to feed ;) but you're right about the planning for vaccinations, vet bills etc. It certainly adds up then.

[carole]

I went over to see Dianne but she was asleep, she works nights, so i talked to her son briefly, just saying i had a problem that the kitties had moved in, he said yes mum thought that, i kept it light hearted and joking, saying i had not pinched them honestly,so will have to wait until i see her i guess, Kari is right one step at a time and I just have to not get all worked up about it all until i know for sure what is what.

I am not sure i want the responsiblity of four cats either, i always dreamed of owning at least one more ,but sense always kicked in and i knew it was best not to do that, but i was not prepared for this situation to arise, the girls are just so darn happy here, it breaks my heart to think of them back with Dianne, they get so little attention from her, and here they get cuddles and pats heaps of times a day, as I purposely go out to see them and when i hang the washing out, which is never ending in my household of course they get more attention, I really don't blame them for staying, they are not stupid.

Even if Dianne did let me have them, re-homing them elsewhere just would not be possible , i dont know anyone who would want two cats that are not house-trained or that come indoors at all, not a good option, if she does want to give them up, they will have to stay with me.

Right i will try not to worry myself sick with all this, as what will be will be won't it, nothing i do will change the outcome really in the long run.

[AbbyMom]

Carole

Your quandary reminded me of the Serenity Prayer that someone once gave me when I needed it so now I pass it to you:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


You already had the courage to change things for the better for these cats even though they weren't yours. I suspect, that although it may be difficult, you'll know the right thing to do when the time comes. If you can't change things, you won't. If you can change things, you will. Trust yourself.

[carole]

Thank you, those are wise words indeed, yep i sure hope things work out for the best where Duchess and Vicky are concerned.