joanofark
01-19-2006, 12:33 PM
I'm sure many of you have seen theese before but they give me a laugh every time:)
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell
it!
_______________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that
we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
___________________________
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
DINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same
day, same time."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry Tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell
it!
_______________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that
we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
___________________________
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
DINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same
day, same time."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry Tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.