Advice for a friend needed...

[moosmom]

I've got a friend who lives with a male roommate. She has just informed me that she's attracted to him. He's not aware of her feelings, and as far as she knows, isn't dating anyone. The living arrangements are strictly platonic and she asked me if she should tell him how she feels. She's afraid that if she does tell him, it'll ruin it. I have NO idea what to tell her, as I've never been in that predicament.

Any advice you can give her??

[Laura's Babies]

Hummmm.. I wouldn't say anything to him myself, it could change the whole relationship and drive him away... Mike told me of a lady FRIEND that he buddied around with and he enjoyed having a lady buddie. One night she confessed that she was very attracted to him and would like a relationship with him.. After that, he avoided her because it made him very uncomfortable.

Tell your friend to lay low and see if HE shows any interest in her on down the road.

[lv4dogs]

I understand where Lauras Babies is coming from but then again she may miss out on something good if he likes her in return.

I'd ask her if he has shown ANY signs that he may like her. Even subtle signs. If so I'd tell her to go for it. It may turn out to be something wonderful.

If she truly has some serious deep intimate feelings for him & really thinks that he may be the one I'd act upon it, this may be her only chance.

If she is unsure if it would be a lasting relationship I'd lay low. Have her think things through, see if she could really be in love with him or now.

If he is not showing any signs what so ever I'd probably tell her to lay low just for a little while. Maybe have her throw out a couple of small moves that may be taken as a friendly gesture or a more involved gesture. Like when she talks to him maybe she can use her hands more & gently touch his arm or the like. See how he reacts to that.

I wish her good luck!

[catnapper]

Wow, I don't know what to say either.

On one hand, I know of a friend who has a male friend that she completely adores AS A FRIEND, and he on the other hand sees more in their relationship than truly is there. She is aware of his feelings and it makes her very sad that she does not feel the same in return. She isn't quite sure how to tell him that she thinks of him in a purely platonic way. Every time he gets all googly (my new word ;) ) and mentions his love for her, she tries to politely redirect the conversation... how much longer can she go on hedging his affections? Yet she cherishes his friendship and in no way wants to ever loose his companionship.

Then on the other hand, I know of a couple that lived together in a platonic friendship for years... then one day they both realized they loved the other. They were the SWEETEST couple and I am so glad they woke up to realize just how great they were together. They might still be living together in quiet longing for the other if one of them hadn't been brave enough to announce their true feelings (I won't tell ya who admitted their feelings first ;) )