kimlovescats
01-17-2006, 12:59 PM
Enjoy:
Pros and Cons of Hiring Housecats
to Drive New York City Cabs
PROS
Will work all day for a tin of sardines.
Have excellent night vision. Won't even need to turn on headlights to drive at night.
Can tip them with a hunk of liver or piece of string.
Can tell when cat is pleased with tip by pleasant purring sound.
Cats have excellent reflexes, perfect for hectic city streets.
They're neat, and can keep themselves clean all day with their tongue.
Won't have to leave cab to go to bathroom. Can keep a small box of kitty litter on front seat for bathroom needs.
If they drive too fast, or try to take you on a round-about trip to jack-up the fare, you can simply grab them by scruff of neck and make them freeze.
If they ever go into a high speed roll, cats will be able to land cab back on its four wheels.
Names like Mittens, Frisky, and Bailey much easier to remember than those difficult foreign names.
CONS
Same language problems as with current cabbies.
Fish breath.
While speeding along, cat might see a small piece of paper and go speeding after it.
Cats never come when they're called.
Cat might try to crash cab into dog runs in an attempt to take out as many dogs as possible.
Annoying habit of coughing up fur balls when stopped at light.
On cold days, cats might spend whole day parked over a warm, steaming grate.
Cats might not care if they get into accidents, thinking they have a lives to spare.
Always turning the radio up way too loud when cat food commercials come on.
Cat might get distracted by dice hanging in rearview mirror, start swatting at it, and cause accident.
Pros and Cons of Hiring Housecats
to Drive New York City Cabs
PROS
Will work all day for a tin of sardines.
Have excellent night vision. Won't even need to turn on headlights to drive at night.
Can tip them with a hunk of liver or piece of string.
Can tell when cat is pleased with tip by pleasant purring sound.
Cats have excellent reflexes, perfect for hectic city streets.
They're neat, and can keep themselves clean all day with their tongue.
Won't have to leave cab to go to bathroom. Can keep a small box of kitty litter on front seat for bathroom needs.
If they drive too fast, or try to take you on a round-about trip to jack-up the fare, you can simply grab them by scruff of neck and make them freeze.
If they ever go into a high speed roll, cats will be able to land cab back on its four wheels.
Names like Mittens, Frisky, and Bailey much easier to remember than those difficult foreign names.
CONS
Same language problems as with current cabbies.
Fish breath.
While speeding along, cat might see a small piece of paper and go speeding after it.
Cats never come when they're called.
Cat might try to crash cab into dog runs in an attempt to take out as many dogs as possible.
Annoying habit of coughing up fur balls when stopped at light.
On cold days, cats might spend whole day parked over a warm, steaming grate.
Cats might not care if they get into accidents, thinking they have a lives to spare.
Always turning the radio up way too loud when cat food commercials come on.
Cat might get distracted by dice hanging in rearview mirror, start swatting at it, and cause accident.