First names & a goodbye

[Glacier]

When I was a kid, I was never allowed to call an adult by their first name. I'm only 33 so it wasn't that long ago! Not even our only close neighbors. I spent time there every day for probably 15 years and always referred to them as Mr. & Mrs O. That was as informal as I was allowed to get. Their 3 kids were my best friends and we are all still pretty close despite being separated by thousands of miles.

I found out a couple days ago, the Mr. O passed away. So this afternoon, I am writing a sympathy note to his wife. I still can't call either of them by their first names, not even in writing! Oh, well, it might make his wife smile. Since I was about 18 she's been telling me I can call her Ruby now and teasing me for continuing to call her Mrs. O.

This was kind of a pointless thread, but.....

Godspeed Mr. O. Many of my happiest childhood memories involve you and your family. I will always treasure them. You were truly a good man. Rest well.

[poofy]

i was raised that way to, and so were my kids, and its not changed..lol..
glad you had such a long enjoyabe frindship with them, and sorry for his passing

[finn's mom]

That is so sweet of you...rip in Mr. O.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm now 23 and as a kid I was only allowed to call an adult by their first name if that adult gave me permission to. When I was a kid my parents were really close friends with 3 other couples. All of the couples had children my age. I was allowed to call all of them by their first names, but I think they were the only adults I did call by their first names.

[Randi]

I am sure mrs. O will appreciate a letter from you. :) Sorry about Mr. O's passing. :(

In Denmark, we said "De" to people we didn't know and also to older people, and "du" to friends and family. In the sixties sometime, it became "in" to say "du" to everyone, but especially older people had a hard time adjusting - no wonder! I still tend to say "De" to people around 80 or more - it feels respectless not to. ;)

Both words mean "You".

[joanofark]

RiP Mr O:( Now he gets to see all of his pets that passed away at the rainbow bidge...:)

I have to call someone by Mr or Mrs until they tell me I can call them by their first name:):p

[Laura's Babies]

Here in the south.... Children are allowed to use an adults first name and long as there is a handle on the beginning. I am Miss Laura or Aunt Laura. My Dad was Grand Daddy to all children and my Mom was Granny to all children.

May Mr. O rest in peace.

[moosmom]

Glacier,

I always called my friend's parents by Mr. & Mrs. It's a sign of respect, even as the years go by. I admire you for sticking to it and for your parents teaching it to you.

:) Donna

[Glacier]

RiP Mr O:( Now he gets to see all of his pets that passed away at the rainbow bidge...:)



How odd that I never even thought of that. Oh, I bet Prince is a happy dog to be beside his master again!

[smokey the elder]

I think the Southern protocol is really neat. Something in between the formality of Mrs. Jones but more respectful than simply Jane.

RIP, Mr. O. My thesis adviser is still Doctor K, I can't get used to calling her by her first name! :)

[sasvermont]

I am sorry to hear about the death of Mr. O, your buddy for years. Memories can never be taken from you. Enjoy them, knowing that some day, we will all have to go away. It is part of life, unfortunately.

When I was a youngster, I was made to do the Mr. and Mrs., Aunt, Uncle, Dr. etc. Now that I am in my mid to late 50's, I still call my Aunts and Uncles using their title, but do not do the same for Dr.'s and do not ask my niece and nephew to call me Aunt. I seldom call people who have PhD's or even older in age, using a title. I think when being introduced it is nice, but one on one, especially with a Dr. including MD's, it is important to go with the first name, to keep an equal ground. They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like we do. I think treating someone with respect is much more important than just calling them something by using a title.

By the way, everyone should do what they feel comfortable with, of course. The above is what I do and feel comfortable with.

Also, I think it is much nicer to hear and listen to complete sentences, without the words like or you know, used every other word, than to use a title. There is nothing anymore distrubing to me than to try to figure out what the heck someone is trying to say. It drives me crazy. I have heard and seen so many TV and radio interviews - with people who cannot complete a sentence. Don't get me started.

So, in a nutshell, titles are nice, but don't make the persons involved any better or more respected than anyone else. Tradition seems to come to mind for this behavior. The end.

(Sorry, I just had my second cup of coffee and I slept in late this AM - giving me way too much energy!)

This is a good topic and I will be interested in seeing who replys and what they have to say.

[Cataholic]

SAS- I am right there with you. I do not call my doctor's (or my son's doctors) by their title...but, rather by their first name. Respect, to me, is not about titles. It is about respect. I would not want Jonah's friends to call me by Ms. blankety blank. Not because of some age issue, but, I just don't like it- to me, it feels divisive. My friend's kids call me Johanna.

There is someone I know that calls me 'maam'. She is ten years my senior. I have told her I hate it. Stop it. She doesn't. She says, "that is just what I do, it is from the military". I think, wow, I have told you I dislike it, do not do it, I am your 'superior' at work, and you still do it??? Now, is THAT respectful?

Like SAS said. Whatever works or feels comfortable to you, do it. I do, generally, address someone in a business setting as Mr/Ms at the first meeting, and possibly longer, until they invite me otherwise. BUT, they are clients.....and, I wouldn't want to offend THEIR senses or right/wrong. But, as a woman, I don't like addressing men as 'Mr.' To me, it suggests a subordinate position. (You don't hear men calling other men 'Mr.', generally).

Sorry to hijack the thread, Glacier :(

[Glacier]

Sorry to hijack the thread, Glacier :(


No problem, it's interesting to hear other's points of view.

I do call Dr.s(MD) by their titles and last names, but only because in my work I have deal with Drs every day. I've found I get better response and therefore my clients get better service if I use the title.

I call my vet by his first name though. At first I called him Dr. Brown, then it became Dr. Rick, now he's just Rick. I spend enough time and money there that I almost consider him a personal friend. He's seen me at my absolute worst so we are past the formalities.

I still call my Aunts and Uncles using their titles. I have a huge, very tight-knit extended family and it would just feel weird not use their titles.

[Buddy Blaze Lover]

Oh, that's sad...Godspeed Mr. O!:(

I have almost always called other people in authority Mr. and Mrs. my whole life...except for specific people who are closer to my age (20s, early 30s) I call most people by Mr. and Mrs...at youth group and such I call all our leaders by their first names though!;)