Talk about a pointless thread.....

[Cataholic]

Hello all my cat lover friends! I haven't really posted much in here lately, and it seems like it has been eons since I started a post. I wanted to just tell you some of the things that have been going on, and get some support from you all.

As many of you know, my patriarch- Tex, made the trip to the RB in May. His passing has been pretty hard on me, and his remains are still at Lillycat's house. I just don't know if I can welcome him 'home' yet. Whew. I said it. I had to get up to close the door to my office, as I have LES, but, I am going to finish posting this regardless. I feel so empty without my boy. Yeah, I have a house full of cats still (well, minus Georgia, which I will get to later), but, Tex was my heart cat, without doubt. I know better to doubt my decision, there wasn't any use in pretending Tex was doing okay. He had steadily made the downhill progression. But, it hurts so much. Tex's death came at the time my neice, Samantha, was so critical. I prayed to God that if I let Tex go, would he spare Samantha's life- a bargain I still would make to this day, and I did let him go, and my neice is doing so well. Aren't I crazy? (please, don't answer that one, okay?) I haven't ever grieved properly for Tex, as I was grieving so hard for my neice and my sister. The pain just totally gets to me sometimes, and I find myself weeping for no reason. Ugh.
I am telling you this as I know you will understand, and to help explain why I don't post so much over here anymore. It hurts. It hurts me to see other tuxedos, it hurts me to see senior cats, it just doesn't feel the same anymore without Tex.

To make matters worse, I have 're-homed' Georgia. Georgia is now the only girl cat living at Lillycat's house (Lillycat has 4 boys- Indra, Nevvie, Washy and Butterum). Georgia and Tex were best friends. In fact, Georgia was the ONLY cat Tex more than tolerated. She could eat with him, sleep with him, and she was really at a loss when he went. She was completely without her companion and protector. Monte was stalking her to the point where she stayed in the basement. No matter how harsh I was to Monte, he wouldn't relent. Why? I don't really know. Geo is a timid girl, and has always been that way. Tex protected her, and was the alpha cat. Well, Monte is the alpha cat now, Alpha Terrible. He is the most aggressive cat I have ever known. I would have re-homed him, but, sending georgie to live with her grammy was easier. So, not only is Tex gone, but, Georgie is too. I feel awful for her, but, this is the better situation for her. Grammy gives her lots of loves, and one of her cats has taken an attachment to her (She and Indra lived with one another years ago)_.

So, that is my sad tail. I am sad without Tex. I am sad about Georgia. I am sad that I don't post much over here anymore.

thanks for reading and understanding...

Johanna

[prechrswife]

(((((Hugs))))) This is not a pointless thread. Sometimes venting is the best thing for one's sanity. :)

[shais_mom]

Oh Jo!
I wish you were closer b/c I would give you a big hug right now.
You did the best thing for Tex and Georgia -
You knew the Georgia wasn't happy and you still get to see her.
Email me anytime.
Staci

[rg_girlca]

My goodness, there is far from being a pointless thread.
I totally understand how you feel about your Tex having just loosing my heart kitty Katie last month. You say you haven't really had the time to grieve for Tex with everything going on with precious Sammy, well since Sammy is doing so well, I think now is the time to let it all out. When you are alone in your home, take a picture of Tex and let him know how much you miss him and how much he meant to you. Cry like you never cried before. This is what I did about a week after my Katie girl was gone. It helped me some and I pray that it will help you also.
You will know when the time is right to welcome Tex home. :)
I had a hard time also coming back to Cat General, but I figured if I didn't do it soon, I wouldn't be able to come back for a long time. Debbie, T & P's Mom, was the one who helped me with this. She said it helped her to jump back on the wagon when her precious Tubby passed on, and believe me, it helped me also.
I still have LES when I see other tabbies and you will also when you see other tuxies, but it does get easier with time. Your tears will be replaced by smiles just thinking of the wonderful memories you had with your beloved Tex.
In regards to Georgie, you definitely did the right thing. You loved her enough to do what was best for her. It sounds like she is quite comfortable being at Grammy's and you will still be able to see her. :)
Sorry this is so long, but my heart goes out to you.

((((((HUGS))))))

[moosmom]

Jo,

What Staci said!! Don't ever think that your threads are pointless. You did what was in Tex's and Georgia's best interests. That's all that matters. One day you'll wake up and the time will be right for you to welcome Tex home again. It's a gut feeling. You'll know when it happens.

(((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))to you and a big smooch for Jonah!!

Love,

Donna

[Corinna]

HUG HUG HUG
I too made the mistake of not getting right back on when I had to have Merlin PTS in June.The family here helps so much.

[catland]

You know you came to the right place because we do all understand. Its so hard to describe to someone who hasn't been there how every now and then, if we are really fortunate, we get that amazing relationship with one of our furbabies that transcends other relationships (now I'm getting LES).

You've had such a emotionally draining year. Take care of yourself and know that you can always find someone here to listen.

[catmandu]

Tex,with the Pet Talker Angel Army loves you,and always will.He knows that you still remember him.
And he is travelling the World scouting places for You and He to go when you reunite One Fine Day!
And Georgia,is in a Better Place where she wont be afraid.
You are doing the best that you can for Your Cats,dont feel badly.I know its hard to do,but you cant change the past,you sometimes have to let go.
I hope that you can find peace.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Debbie, T & P's Mom, was the one who helped me with this. She said it helped her to jump back on the wagon when her precious Tubby passed on, and believe me, it helped me also.
Awww....gee, Lorraine, I'm so glad I could help. :) It hurt horribly at first, but then one day a picture of a certain goofy PT kitty made me smile. Catlover4evers adorable orangie Abner is the one that brought the first smile to my face after Tubby died, and somehow I think it's more than coincidence that CJ looks so much like Abner!

Jo, I know it's hard, but like Lorraine says, now that things have calmed down a bit with Samantha and you know Georgia is settled in, maybe it's time to grieve properly for Tex - it will help you to move past that step of the grieving process.

{{{hugs}}}

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Oh my, nothing pointless at all, Johanna!! We all understand how hard this must be for you!! I am proud of you for what you did for Georgia!!

[kimlovescats]

Johanna, I am so sorry that you are grieving so much still. It seems so many of us here lately have lost our extra special "heart" kitties. This month was the 1st anniversary of my Tucker Man's passing as well. It still hurts just as badly, and I could have really fallen back into a depression, but I had to just grieve a day or two and let it go. :(

It sounds like you did what was best for Georgia too, if she is happy then don't beat yourself up over it. Some times we just have to make drastic changes for the best of our entire crew. I have had to rehome a few of mine from time to time, and I do understand the guilt that comes along with it. However, when I later receive news on how well they are doing, and how they have settled into their new homes, it makes it all worthwhile, and I know I did the right thing.

Please hang around .... I really feel bad about starting up my B&W cats page again, I can't but feel that this has stirred up some negative feelings for you. :( :(

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Kim

[Vermontcat]

Johanna, I really miss your Tex and Kim's Tucker and Debbie's Tubby too. :(
I'm sorry that it has been hard for you to post here lately.
I think Georgia will be fine and she's still a part of the family, just not in your house anymore.
I would love to hear about your other kitties, like an update on Minnie and how brave she is now and I don't think I have seen more than one photo of your newest kitty Gus.
I would also love to hear an update on your sweet boy Jonah too.
Pet Talk should be a happy place for you, where you can see cute photos that will make you smile. :)
Sending hugs your way. (Samantha sends headbumpies to you too) ;)

[jenluckenbach]

LES

What more can I say, but I know............ :(

[rosethecopycat]

So sorry for all of your pain.

I remember bursting into tears a full 7 years after losing my first cat.

Now, I have my soul kitty with me, and I can feel what you are going through.

Tex surely was a special guy.

What should keep us going now is what Gary says: One Fine Day

It is the Rainbow Bridge Poem, in a nut shell.


Hugs.

[Barbara]

Oh Johanna, I am so glad that you are writing about how you feel! Can you be a little more friendly to yourself please! Just look at what you have gone through in the last year. It's absolutely right:


Tex's death came at the time my niece, Samantha, was so critical.

Yeah- and there were other events as well: becoming a mom is a positive event but still an event that changes your life more than anything!

You simply can't be over everything you experienced in the last year. And it will take more time.

Just think of Debbie and Tubby and Kim and Tucker- they have been so close together as you and Tex- and I know my time will come too as my heart kitty has already his deadly disease in him. I will need all your hands and shoulders when his time comes:(

When Samantha was so critical and all of your family was concentrating on her in a way I admire more than anything you certainly didn't have the time to grieve for Tex the way you needed it. And now as Samantha is slowly recovering these feelings come back in your heart.

You need the energy of your soul for your close family (that is Jonah and the states) and for your extended family- it's time that you take a little time for yourself.

And please don't feel guilty for Georgia. I am sure she'll have the best life ever at Lillycat's house and if she bonds with Indra she can easier come over Tex' passing. I am sorry for you because she is another one you are missing.

Please come here or PM me whenever you want- I send you thousand hugs!

[Randi]

Johanna, I'm so sorry you're grieving so bad, but I totally understand you. :( You will know when the time is right for Tex's remains to come home.

At least you can go visit Georgia, and I'm sure she is happy there with your mom.

I fear when it's Pjevs' turn, I'm feeling very close him.

Sending lots of hugs and headbumpies from Fister too. :)

[Cataholic]

Thank you all so very much. You do understand. You really do. I will take the advice of setting some time to grieve properly for Tex, when he comes 'home'.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Johanna