grrr..... I have been given a new job for my humane socity...

[Flatcoatluver]

well they gave me two jobs other then working at petsmart and finding home for the kitty's, but i am now updating the bored and now i have to make a companion of the week (some foster parents idea) I have to write a profile and put pictures in a frame for a different cat every week. well I finished the first cat's decription. But before i make it into a frame I want your opinon and ideas. Here it is:

Hello my Name is Ophelia. I was born last year. I've already had one litter of kittens. I would not do good in a home with dogs or cats. I love people esspecially children. I am very affectionate and playful. Do i sound like a perfect companion for you???
http://www.alternativehumanesociety.org/images/ophelia1.jpg
this is what the internet sight said about her
Ophelia was probably born in 2004. She is a very
special girl - she not only nursed her own litter of beautiful kittens, but also nursed another mama kitty's kittens when she became ill and could not
nurse them. All of her human friends were in awe. Ophelia is playful and affectionate, and loves people. Like many Calicos, she is not especially fond of other cats or dogs, and she wants to be the only pet in her forever home.

[Jessika]

Well the second description is a little off -- how can "like many calicos" be an accurate description, if a calico is a coat pattern, not an actual breed?? hehe. Anyway I think your description is perfect, but I think you need to add a comma here:


I love people, especially children

And only one 's' in "especially" :)

Oh and capitolize the 'i' in the last sentence since its a proper noun!

Anyway sorry for being nitpicky, I think your description is better than the original AND that seems like a cool job!

[catmandu]

Sadly Ophelia if you dont like Other Cats,then The Found Cat Hotel is not for you.
We wish you well,and pray that you can find that Elusive Furr Ever Home!

[Flatcoatluver]

yeah that's what spell check is for lol, :D the person that does the internet site, doesn't know that much about cats, because reading some of their other descriptions i roll my eyes! :rolleyes:

[boscibo]

Here it is:

Hello my Name is Ophelia. I was born last year. I've already had one litter of kittens. I would not do good in a home with dogs or cats. I love people esspecially children. I am very affectionate and playful. Do i sound like a perfect companion for you???


I don't care for: "I've already had one litter of kittens." This insinuates she will/can have more litters - I'm assuming she's been spayed. Just phrase it differently, maybe: "I've had a litter of kittens, but I have been spayed so it won't happen again!"

I am also really turned off by multiple instances of punctuation - one question mark is all it needs.
Also, maybe change the "I would not do good" (with other pets) into "I would not do well" (with other pets). :) ;) :)

[moosmom]

I used to write a Pet of the Week column for a local newspaper. What I tried to do was get a little history of the cat. For instance, I was writing about a kitten that was found in an air duct of an office building. I interviewed the guy who heard the "meowing" coming from the air duct in his office, and wrote a little "story" around it.

Try to draw out the public's sympathy by describing how the cat came to be at the shelter, putting emphasis on the cat's personality, any traits you notice, along with the usual spayed, litterbox trained, needs to be an only cat, a real lap cat, etc. If you need help, let me know.

Good luck!!

[Flatcoatluver]

ok with your comment this is the new bio./

Hello my Name is Ophelia. I was born last year. I've had a litter of kittens, but I have been spayed so it won't happen again! I will not do well in a environment with both dogs and cats. I love people, especially children. I am very affectionate and I will make a perfect lap cat. I am very playful and would love a nice mouse toy. I am looking for a forever home, would I be the perfect companion for you?

I fix the typos jessica told me ;)

[Jessika]

Oh I ilke that one even better!! Except for a few minor probs:

*environment (typo)

and put the comma in "I love people, especially children"

[Felix]

I think that is a great profile of Ophelia.I especially love the second picture.I hope she finds a furever home soon.

[Flatcoatluver]

I think that is a great profile of Ophelia.I especially love the second picture.I hope she finds a furever home soon.
I will keep everyone updated if anyone has any comment to make her profile plz post!