"Significant Other"

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

So I was at the hospital the other day for my pre-admission testing. Along with giving a blood sample, all I had to do was fill out a ton of paperwork. Of course the question of who to contact in an emergency came up, and I, of course, put Terry's name down. I also put him down for the person who would be bringing me in and driving me home, so his name came up more than once. The nurse was going over the paperwork to make sure everything was filled in and she says "So who is this Terry person?" I told her he was my "signficant other" and then after I left I started thinking about that and what a ridiculous title that is. However, if that title is ridiculous, what title do I use? I know Terry has, on occassion, to make things simple, referred to me as his wife, and I've referred to him on occassion as my husband, but we're not married. On one form I filled out one time, the title "life partner" was listed and I thought that sounded good, so I circled it. The person checking that form proceeded to ask if I was gay because "life partner" refers to same-sex couples....I guess....

Significant other seems to be a universally understood title, but like I say, it is rather lacking in my opinion. According to dictionary.com, here are the definitions of significant and other:
Significant - Having or expressing a meaning; meaningful.
Having or expressing a covert meaning; suggestive: a significant glance. See Synonyms at expressive.
Having or likely to have a major effect; important: a significant change in the tax laws.
Fairly large in amount or quantity: significant casualties; no significant opposition.
Statistics. Of or relating to observations or occurrences that are too closely correlated to be attributed to chance and therefore indicate a systematic relationship.
Other - 1.
a. Being the remaining one of two or more: the other ear.
b. Being the remaining ones of several: His other books are still in storage.
2. Different from that or those implied or specified: Any other person would tell the truth.
3. Of a different character or quality: “a strange, other dimension... where his powers seemed to fail” (Lance Morrow).
4. Of a different time or era either future or past: other centuries; other generations.
5. Additional; extra: I have no other shoes.
6. Opposite or contrary; reverse: the other side.
7. Alternate; second: every other day.
8. Of the recent past: just the other day.

Ok, ok, so maybe I'm making too much of this, but we're a little old for "boyfriend/girlfriend," so it's almost to the point where we should get married just so people understand our relationship! :rolleyes:

[smokey the elder]

I kind of had the same issue when I was getting benefits for my SO, Keith. Unmarried couples of any combination of genders can get insurance where I work. They use the term "domestic partner." How sterile is that?? I think "significant other" is better than that!

Years ago I got into a conversation about the best term for a more mature friend of the opposite sex. We couldn't decide then, either! :D :p

[chocolatepuppy]

Although I'm married, I wish they'd come up with a different title for couples who live together. SO is just too long! ;) One of my best friends has been with her SO for 23 years and I hate calling them SOs! Maybe PT can come up with a new title? :cool:

[Jessika]

I am engaged so I can say "fiancée" but sometimes people don't take you seriously, especially considering how "young" I am to them so I usually just say he's my SO just to avoid any dirty looks :(

[Barbara]

Funny enough it was my surgery which made us think of being married after 15 years or so.
I sometimes referred to Siegmar as my lover. Because he's the one whom I loved and who loved me- but not many people get that one right :D :cool:

[kimboe]

Instaed of "significant-other" I've known it to be "Common-Law"

[Edwina's Secretary]

Once upon a time there was a choice on forms of POSSLQ. Stood for Person of the Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. I know we went through this same thing....there's Partner, SO, Other Half, Better Half, Shackup, BF (Best Friend), Companion......

With Don's recent surgery we had some of this. Because of the "name thing." But...this being California they are very politically correct. I was referred to as "the family member." :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[RICHARD]

What ever happened to "old man" or "old lady"?
;)

I once used, "the person I wake up next to" that got a laugh...

I guess it beats, "one of the few that has seen me naked..." :) :D :eek: ;)

[Barbara]

Most of them are too imprecise.
"the family member" could have been Eddie and Edwina as well.
"the person I wake up next to" the other Californian Eddie :D

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I found a good one. How about "he's a member of my familial unit." :rolleyes: :D Of course though, like Barbara says, that could refer to Peanut or CJ also. ;)

Gee, Sara, I'm surprised because even if the names aren't the same, you're still officially husband and wife. What's wrong with calling you his wife rather than "the family member." "The family member." As if poor Don only has one other family member. :rolleyes:

In my paperwork, they also stress that FAMILY (yes it's bold and capitalized on my paperwork) members can visit before the pre-anesthesia medicine. Wonder how much of a fight it's going to be to get them to accept Terry has a FAMILY member. :rolleyes:

STE, I agree, "domestic partner" is definitely worse than "signficant other." At least SO has the term "significant" so you know it's not just any old person in the household. ;)

Jessika, I've heard people in my same situation refer to each other as their fiancée to avoid just this type of situation even though they weren't really engaged.

Richard, "old man" and "old lady" are my parents! :eek:

Kimboe, you're right by golly! I'll have to check into Illinois law, but it's very possible I can start calling him my husband by now and be correct, if not complete. :D

Great responses everybody. I didn't expect to get such a laugh out of this. :D

[kuhio98]

Before Bobcat and I got married, we referred to each other as our "Uh Uh". That came about because when I introduced him to my friends, I'd say, "This is Bob, my uhhhhh uhhhhhh...." :D After a while, it was just easier to call each other husband and wife. Most people don't really care and it's not really important unless its a legal matter.

[RedHedd]

I have many friends in this "situation" - they refer to themselves as "living in sin" ;)

[Edwina's Secretary]

Debbie...that's a good point. No one ever asked me what my relationship was to Don. I was just the "Family Member!" And yes...I was to visit with him while they prepped (WHY???)

[popcornbird]

Sara, they call you a 'family member' because you have a different last name as your husband??? :confused: Weird...I wonder if I will go through that, as I will not be changing my last name after marriage...so our last names would be different. I never thought it should be an issue...women never change their last name after marriage in many cultures. WAH...I don't want to be called 'the family member' too! :p

[caseysmom]

PCB....they call her that because they are not married...I believe....if you are married and tell them that they won't care about your last name.

[Cinder & Smoke]

We're a little old for "boyfriend/girlfriend,"
so it's almost to the point where
we should get married ...

:cool:

HEY Deb ~

Iffin You & ole What's his Name would show up ...
We could get the Mayor to hitch you guys up over Memorial Day
at Findlay in '06!

KatKids could be Ring Bearers!! :)

:D

[Prairie Purrs]

Once upon a time there was a choice on forms of POSSLQ. Stood for Person of the Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.

My ex and I actually adopted this one--often we shortened it to "Possel" or "Q." :D

Charles Osgood even wrote a poem about it. Here's an excerpt:

There's nothing that I wouldn't do
If you would be my POSSLQ.
You live with me, and I with you,
And you will be my POSSLQ.
I'll be your friend and so much more;
That's what a POSSLQ is for.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

It IS a predicament - especially as we get older and the boyfriend/girlfriend sounds a bit immature!!

Warren and I lived together for 8 years before we got married, and were engaged for 3 years, so I just called him my fiancee.

My Mum introduced him to everyone as her SIN-in-Law :eek: :D

[Barbara]

Love that poem. Believe it or not- that term of POSSLQ made it to the back section of my memory some 20 years ago- I believe I read it in Scientific American and never forgot it :D

Again: when I had surgery 11 years ago, I signed in the paperwork that Siegmar should be able to visit me in ICU after. They said everything would be ok and then they didn't let him see me. And I was just too weak to do what I would have done else- which would be more than a medium drama :D

But after that we knew this might never happen again. Just in case: if I had fallen into koma or whatever (it was one of the risks) whom could I have trusted but him to close the lines :confused:

Now we still have different names. And I'm not just "the family member".

[Oggyflute]

Both Carole and myself use the term "partner". We have never had an actual ceremony as funnily enough,we just never seem to have a grand or two spare to put a "wedding" on. We had our own private ceremony, were we exchanged rings and pledged our life to each other, and in all honesty, thats good enough for me. No doubt we will get around to it one year. My brother in law is a minister and would just love to do the honor's. We have just celebrated our 8th anniversary together. So it's just "partner's" in love & life, always. :)

[cyber-sibes]

Interesting thread. I remember POSILQ from way back too. I like the sound of it, at least it sounds more interesting than domestic partner, SO, etc. I am married, but I didn't change my last name. So I get these looks like "who are you?" sometimes when we get introduced, go places together, fill out forms, and such. Even though we're married, we still refer to each other as best friend or partner. My good friend & her POSILQ had a "committment ceremony" instead of a wedding, I think just to placate other family members. I'm glad at least whoever you choose is given more legal rights & ins. benefits than years ago. The love & life you share is the important thing!

[Edwina's Secretary]

PCB....they call her that because they are not married...I believe....if you are married and tell them that they won't care about your last name

Yes...we are married. We use different last names. They nevered asked our relationship. They would say..."are you the family member?" I assume that to be the custom. Next time I will have Edwina go instead.... :D

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Can't you just put him down as "lucky"

[Cataholic]

Can't you just put him down as "lucky"


THAT is hysterical! :D

I have the same, but, different issue with Jonah, and his recent surgery paperwork. "Is there a father"? "MRS Hutchins...he he he (that is Lillycat!)", "does anyone else live in the house..." (Yep, 7 cats!).

I like the look of uncertainty that crosses the face when I fill out paperwork and leave the paternal questions blank. I am sure school will be more of the same.

:p

[RICHARD]

Actually,

My GF's rap name was "50 PER cent"......

She went by '50' because she was half of the relationship..... :rolleyes: :confused: :D

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I looked up "Significant other" as one phrase on dictionary.com and got this-

significant other
n.
1. A person, such as a spouse or lover, with whom one shares a long-term sexual relationship.
2. A person, such as a family member or close friend, who is important or influential in one's life: “The most important variable in successful smoking cessation is the support of significant others in the new nonsmoker's life” (Carolyn Reuben).

The first one sounds perfect, but the second sounds much less important. I don't like the second definition.

Another confusion is that Terry is a unisex name. People may wonder when you say "my significant other, Terry" or "my life partner, Terry" if you are straight or gay. Not that it's any of their buisness, and you may or may not care what they think.

My coworker is in the same boat. She is in her 40's and has a long time live in boyfriend. They share a bank account and basically live as a married couple, but are not actually married. She usually refers to him as her boyfriend, but I always think that sounds odd. One because of her age, but also because they are so much more than a boyfriend/girlfriend. When I think of a boyfriend/girlfriend I think of a couple that is dating and they past the dating point.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

One because of her age, but also because they are so much more than a boyfriend/girlfriend. When I think of a boyfriend/girlfriend I think of a couple that is dating and they past the dating point.
aHA! That's why I don't like the term boyfriend. Thanks for clearing that up for me. :D

Sara, maybe they just assumed because you didn't have the same last name that you weren't married. So much for assumptions. :rolleyes:

Jo, you are so bad. I hope you don't sent Jonah to a catholic school (I don't even know if you're catholic or not!) because I can just see all those poor nuns trying to figure you out, and you having the time of your life plotting your next move on them. ;) :D

KBlaix, part of the problem is the unisex name of Terry. I've had to define his sex a few times already, such as when buying airline tickets and such.

I had never even heard the POSSLQ thing until now, much less the poem, but I think it's hilarious! :D

Once again everybody, thanks for all the laughs. :D

[Barbara]

Joh, that question "Is there a father?"- I suppose the answer could only be Yes! I do not remember MANY cases of birth by a virgin.
(Next time this thread will go in the doghouse :p )