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View Full Version : My life...an update (warning, LONG post!)



DJFyrewolf36
09-19-2005, 06:16 PM
Sorry for this being long winded...:(

With everything going on, I thought I’d let you all in on an update. A few of you have asked me about what’s been going on with me, and rather than send about a bazillion PMs I just decided to post in General. Maybe you’re reading this and saying “Oh goody, another poor me whiney post” and I’ll admit that’s probably what this is going to end up. I do know though that venting things sometimes can help one gain a new perspective on a problem, and as always, I welcome anyone’s advice or thoughts. I first though, have to apologize for all the threads I’ve missed in the last month or so. I feel horrible because I haven’t been able to wish you, my good PT friends, a happy birthday, or congratulate them on a personal milestone, or be there when things are going rough. Believe me when I say in spirit, I am with you all. You are truly a good group of people and I am privileged to call you friends (even though I haven’t met a lot of you in person, you still find it in your hearts to care about me and my family. You have no idea how good that makes me feel). I thank you all for the good thoughts that you send to me and all the prayers and positive vibes that I can feel each and every day. Even though I don’t post a whole lot (if I could, I would post something on every thread), I do read everything! I love sharing and celebrating the joys of life with people I share things in common with, and I also love to be comforting to another in times of sorrow (and it is great knowing that in my sorrow, here I am never alone). Thank you so much PT, you have honestly changed my life for the better!
Now for the actual post…(that took long enough, didn’t it?):D Here’s the greatly abridged Readers Digest version (we’d be here forever otherwise lol) of what’s been going on with me:
John (hubby) has been feeling a little better since the weather has cooled down. Minus that virus that nearly put him (and me) in the hospital, his health has been pretty good as of late. Emotionally though, he isn’t doing so well. He feels that he isn’t accomplishing anything because he can’t seem to get a job anywhere. His back prevents him from doing very much lifting and unless you have a college degree, getting a technical job in this area is close to impossible. He has a great deal of experience though, and is very good at anything that involves a computer. Unfortunately, the only places that hire people without diplomas are service based places (fast food, casinos, gas stations etc), who refuse to hire him because he is “overqualified” (Translation, you’re too smart and have too much job experience and we, as management, are afraid you’ll take our jobs away. I can’t get a job at these places either and trust me I’ve tried). Places that involve manual labor are always hiring, but if you can’t lift more than 200 lbs you’re SOL on that front too. People like us with a half-assed college education (some credits, but never finished) are out of luck when it comes to jobs. We don’t qualify for the jobs we would like, but at the same time we’re over qualified for just about anything else. John keeps saying that he wishes that he could get a job anywhere, even if it’s shoveling poo, just so he could support me enough to where I could finish school. Now, he is worried that with us getting evicted (our apartment building was indeed condemned) that we won’t have enough money between the roommates and I to cover the move-in costs on a new place. He feels as if he is letting me down and no matter what I say, I can’t seem to bring him out of his funk.
I’m kind of in a funk too. I’ve been very depressed as of late, so much in fact that I’ve made an appointment with a therapist (I usually am the type of person that avoids therapists). I’ve been in a downward spiral ever since we got the notice to leave our apartment. I busted my wrist (well a small fracture really, but it still hurts really bad L) hitting a wall during one of my emotional trips. I almost got fired, too. I got a really nasty ear infection week before last, and missed a couple of days. We get paid sick leave, but I didn’t have enough to cover both days. Usually, taking a day without pay isn’t a big deal but of course the admin people don’t want you doing it too much (why I don’t know, you’d think taking money out of a persons hide would be an incentive to not miss work, but who says government people are logical). Well I come to work last Tuesday and I get yelled at for taking too many unpaid days off. I’ve taken 4 unpaid days in total. Two involved my car being broken (once when it got stuck in BFE with a blown distributor and the other time when the hood came off the car), the third one involved an auto accident (I was a passenger, but I hurt my neck. I didn’t have to take a full day unpaid, as they let me use what sick time I had to cover some of it.), and then the day when I actually was sick. Now, I had leave time to cover the days my car was messed up but I was not allowed to use it since I wasn’t sick. Anyway, it boils down to I got read the riot act for doing what I was told. Wednesday I was 20 min late because my alarm didn’t go off, and I got stuck in traffic to boot. Once at work, I had to argue with the phone company for an hour, and then John called about apartment stuff (and none of it was good news either). I got yelled at again, for being late and for spending “too much personal time on the phone” which I can see people getting angry at that if I wasn’t doing my job while I was on the phone but I was WORKING as well. Well, unfortunately I lost it completely and went into a total crying fit at work, so bad in fact that I was asked to leave. I left and came home to a police officer being at my apartment because people at work were seriously convinced that I was going to harm myself. The cop though, was very nice and helped me calm down a lot. I thought though, after all that drama, I was for sure fired, but my boss actually apologized for blowing up at me (she wasn’t having the nicest day either) and was worried about me. She said though that she was very glad I came back as I am a very good worker (when I’m not stressed out of my mind!). So my job at least is safe. It is only temporary though, and I’m trying to get a permanent job within the department but it is difficult. I lost out on the last job I interviewed for because a legislators grandson happened to want that very same job. I just have to keep trying I guess, although I have to admit I am getting very discouraged.
All the troubles with jobs and our apartment have put John and me on edge. We’ve been fighting a lot lately, and although we always make up, the fighting makes me very upset and sad. I’m pretty sure it makes John upset and sad too. I really do love him, and the thought of us splitting up hasn’t crossed my mind. He says that he never wants to leave me either, because arguments are easily resolvable and nothing is worth throwing away the time we’ve invested in each other. It isn’t as if we have a problem with each other, we just have a problem with life in general.
There is a positive note to this. The furkids have been doing quite well. Onyx is growing like a weed. He is going to be a very big boy when he gets done! Remus and Spook have been their normal selves, although Remus has been trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and Spook is trying to figure out why her daddy is upset. I do think that both of them (and Onyx too to a certain degree, although I think he is still too young to care too much) know we are upset and stressed and want nothing than to make meowme and paw paw feel better. The rats have been doing well too. Banana has become quite the little trickster. The other day, he figured out how to get his food dish out of the cage! Soon, I think I am going to have to put locks on his cage doors. Dorian continues to do her normal gecko thing (eating and sleeping mostly).
Anyway…that’s my life. Really the only things that are keeping me sane are John, the furkids, you guys and my music (John and I have started making our own techno music. You’d be surprised at how good being creative makes you feel). I don’t know what’s going to happen from here. All I can do is keep on living as best I can. I’ll try to post more often though, and hopefully soon I can get a hold of a camera and get some new pix of the furies.
And since you’ve made it this far, I’ll close with a simple thank you. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to hear about the struggle of someone you hardly know. Thank you for helping me cope. Thank you for being my friend.

Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect (P.L.U.R)
~Fyrewolf.

RedHedd
09-19-2005, 06:31 PM
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DJF}}}}}}}}}}}}] and {{{{{{{{{{{{{John}}}}}}}}}}}} Giant hugs coming your way from S.F. Mishi sends fur and head bumpies too :)

wolflady
09-19-2005, 06:39 PM
Gosh, it certainly sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate. It really is so hard to get jobs these days, and it's rediculous that you can't get the jobs you want because you're "over qualified". WTF? That's BS. I'm sorry that you and John are going through such troubles.
**hugs**
Karen

DJFyrewolf36
09-19-2005, 06:41 PM
Originally posted by RedHedd
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DJF}}}}}}}}}}}}] and {{{{{{{{{{{{{John}}}}}}}}}}}} Giant hugs coming your way from S.F. Mishi sends fur and head bumpies too :)

Awwww thanks!! Make sure you give Mishi boy an extra belly rub for us too :D

*PS the brats STILL aren't leaving that toy alone...they've even taken to throwing it at us now :rolleyes: :D *

Edit: I was posting at the same time you were, Wolflady! Thanks for the support. Yeah, the first time I heard an employer say "you are too qualified to work here" I nearly peed myself. Grrr...is every state as assinine as Nevada? Right to work...grrr

Karen
09-19-2005, 06:48 PM
If John does any programming (you mentioned he knows a lot of technical stuff) has he tried doing freelnace work through sites like rent-a-coder? What sort of tech stuff does he know and like to do?

Hmmm, the kitties may hafta start taking freelance work - "Need your clothes decorated with cat fur? Want to learn how to truly nap? Need a little fish-breath in your life? Want a real-life black cat for your Halloween party decor? Rent-a-Cat! email [email protected]!"

CalliesMom
09-19-2005, 06:49 PM
:( I am sorry to read things are so difficult right now. When it rains, it pours...I also do not understand the whole idea of being "over-qualified." Your hubby was obviously applying for a reason. People are so stupid sometimes.

I truly hope everything works out for you. You are such a kind person and deserve much more.

Laura's Babies
09-19-2005, 06:52 PM
We ALL have our "humps" in life to overcome and you are going through yours. Hang on, hang in there and it will pass.

This has been an especially bad year for my whole family and I am having a lot of worries that I haven't mentioned here that are at times, bogging me down... But I am HANGING ON! I'll share my knot at the end of the rope with you if you need to come hang on with me.

DJFyrewolf36
09-19-2005, 06:55 PM
Originally posted by Karen
If John does any programming (you mentioned he knows a lot of technical stuff) has he tried doing freelnace work through sites like rent-a-coder? What sort of tech stuff does he know and like to do?

Hmmm, the kitties may hafta start taking freelance work - "Need your clothes decorated with cat fur? Want to learn how to truly nap? Need a little fish-breath in your life? Want a real-life black cat for your Halloween party decor? Rent-a-Cat! email [email protected]!"

That is a darn good idea! The kitties can sure afford to give up some cuteness for sale lol! He's been looking at some freelance sites, and some stuff does indeed look promising. He's going to get his website up and running as soon as we move and get the hosting stiuation fixed. Hopefully our new place will have better lines so our business DSL (Which we pay a LOT for) will actually DO what were paying for it to do!

Thanks for the support, again it means SO darn much to me!

wolflady
09-19-2005, 06:59 PM
I think the freelance stuff is a good idea too! Perhaps John could put together an online portfolio of stuff he's done/can do. That way people can get examples.

Also, I know this isn't the most exciting idea, but has he ever tried telesales/marketing? It's a tough job, but it pays fairly well. I know my company is currently looking for telesales folks! Perhaps that's an option for you guys in Nevada as a back-up plan.

**hugs**

catmandu
09-19-2005, 07:07 PM
THE FOUND CATS,AND I ARE SORRY,THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A ROGH TIME.WE HOPE,THAT YOU CAN FIND A BETTER APARTMENT,AFTER YOU MOVE,AND THAT JOHN,CAN FIND SOMETHING THAT HE LIKES.
THERE ARE SO FEW GOOD JOBS,THE BIG COMPANIES KNOW,THAT THEY CAN GET BY,WITH CRUMMY WAGES,AND MISTREATMENT,BUT THEY WILL EVENTUALLY RUIN YOUR COUNTRY,AS YOU NEED A STRONG MIDDLE CLASS,NOT JUST RICH,AND POOR PEOPLE.
WE,ARE PRAYING,FOR YOU.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/Picture747.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/Picture462.jpg

sandragonfly
09-19-2005, 10:02 PM
hey - thank you for sharing, I'm glad to read this update now and know more about your life & you.

I'd have to agree with laurie's babies,.. right now you're going through the "downs" (& "ups" - your dear crew), I know downs do cause these miserable days but hang on, lean on our shoulders if needed.. size doesn't matter! :) (be careful with your hand, kristina! your furkids/gecko need them).

overqualified...I still think that is insane! jeez.. I once applied for humane society not a while ago, said I was overqualified "because I worked at the ZOO for over two & half years.." (?!?) don't they want "good-experienced" people?? :rolleyes:

well, "overqualified" = door closed, "better opportunity" = opening window, I believe! hope you find one soon!! you deserve much more than what you shouldn't deserve. I'm so sorry! (ugh)..

once again, thank you for sharing. I enjoy listening and hope can to do anything for you if you need me(us) & here are million unused hugs owed from these days you needed!

((((fyrewolf)))) & ((((john)))) I know he's guy, hope it's okay with him! ^.^ (he was shy last time I hugged him) :D remember this, we (my special ark too) will be thinking of you both & hoping for a better life, feel better soon both!!

plur, right on.
..gina & her ark :cool:

jesse_3
09-19-2005, 10:24 PM
(((((HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR HUBBY))))) Times sound very rough for you right now, and you know that if you need to vent, or really need to talk, you can pm any one of us anytime. We all have our ups and downs, some worse than others, but God will get you through it. He is right there beside you, and he loves you, along with all of your friends here on PT.

(((((MORE HUGS)))))
Steph, Jesse, and Splinter

K9karen
09-19-2005, 11:41 PM
If it makes your John feel any better, *sigh*, my John, who freelances, has been out of work nearly 1 1/2 years and is also desperately looking. He has 30+ yrs experience in the technology field, has lots of resumes out, but age and over experience is his downfall. He's not even concerned about the wages, just getting a job! And between this time, he moved in to help with my mother and ME! I'm on disability, and since J isn't working, he isn't monetarily contributing (but helps in more ways then you can imagine) so my brother is upset, and therefore NOT contributing anything to house expenses on spite. Times are tough, but you know what, sweetie? I refuse to let them overwhelm me. I try to take one day at a time. It's hard, but I sincerely believe things will work out. How worse can they get? Plus, when I look at what I have (a roof over my head, food) compared to those poor displaced people in New Orleans etc. I consider myself damn lucky. They say money is the root of all evil. I think you and your hubby are on the right path working things out as a team. You took a vow to be there for each other.
As far as work is concerned..well, we all know that companies are in the business of making money. Unfortunately, they really don't care about the employee. Luckily I had tons of vacation and personal and sick days but after they were used (and not for myself-for sick parents mostly) I also had to use no pay days and time. Without saying explicively, I was laid off (and I had senority) I knew it was because I was spazzing out and rarely there. So I feel for you. It;s hard to work when you're emotionally drained. You sound like a carbon copy of me, so I really really feel bad for you. Life can be so unfair, but I believe things happen for a reason. I pray that there's a bright light at the end of the tunnel for you. Please feel free to vent whenever you want.

sandragonfly
09-19-2005, 11:57 PM
posted by k9karen
Life can be so unfair, but I believe things happen for a reason.

absolutely on! I always say that. and you even got more good-vibie huggies! :D :D

...but I'm still here, talk to me, I won't leave you alone, my friend.

..just me :)

krazyaboutkatz
09-20-2005, 12:00 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough patch right now.:( Just take it one day at a time and I'm sure that everything will eventually work out for the best. Feel free to vent any time because we're all here for emotional support. Things will get better. (((HUGS)))

Ally Cat's Mommy
09-20-2005, 02:41 AM
Sorry to hear you are having so many problems at the moment. I am keeping you in my thoughs and prayers. (((HUGS)))

Pawsitive Thinking
09-20-2005, 06:32 AM
Read your post from top to bottom and you are a very brave lady to be so open and honest. I am truly sorry that things aren't so good for you at the moment - but when you hit the bottom the only way is up!

Glad PT can help just by listening - always helps to know that people care. None of us here are strangers, we are all bonded by our love of animals.

Hope things turn around for you both very soon

ramanth
09-20-2005, 09:22 AM
*HUGS* It'll all work out.. it has too! I'll be thinking of you.

DJFyrewolf36
09-20-2005, 11:47 AM
Wow...I'm overwhelmed at the response to this thread!!

*GREAT BIG HUGS* from both of us to all of you! John said that after reading your replies, he actually felt a lot better!

PLUR

~Fyrewolf

NoahsMommy
09-20-2005, 02:12 PM
(((((Hugs))))

Have you considered a few home-based jobs for John?? Or, you could both do them together?

In CA, we have "Notary Republics"....regular people that train (correspondence classes - like 2 or 3 weeks) and you become one. EVERYONE needs one at some time in their life (witness to loan docs, legal docs) and you can be put on a national registry.

I'll search tonight for more examples. I know there is a lot out there if he wants to stay home, especially if he's trained technically.

(((Hugs)))

I'll PM you tonight, OK?

DJFyrewolf36
09-20-2005, 02:53 PM
Hey thanks! Any help is appriciated for sure!

sandragonfly
09-20-2005, 08:32 PM
hello!

just wanted to bump this up and let you know I've been thinking of you both (and your little crew) :D all day.

looks like noahsmommy's help could help you, hopefully! let us(ME) know the newest update, okay?

putting in more hugs & especially ((((john)))) :D thanks for the PM!

always plur,
..gina & her little arky :)

NoahsMommy
09-20-2005, 09:29 PM
Hey hon,

Here's that link for the Notary site: http://www.americannotaryexchange.com/online/home.php

I heard about this site on the radio a week ago:
http://www.radio.theonlinebusiness.com/goland2/RadioPaid-2

Working from home:
http://www.monaviehomebusiness.com.au/
http://www.jobs-telecommuting.com/
http://www.mailfromhome.com/
http://www.mvalue.com/
http://www.workfromhomeresources.com/
http://www.work-from-home-jobs.com/

(there are a ton more, just type in "legitimate work from home jobs")

My friend's husband is currently getting paid to surf the web each day! Check this out:
www.studiotraffic.com

If you need a referral name, use: dinovelvet (number is 334459)

I hope that can help you a bit. Even just to help suppliment the income. I think it'll help John feel better if he can do a job that wont hurt his health.

((((((Hugs))))))

Love, Kelly :)

DJFyrewolf36
09-20-2005, 09:42 PM
Thank you sooooo much Noahsmommy!!! John says that the links will be very very helpful!

*HUGS!!*

Gina :D Thanks again for the hugs! There won't be much of any updates until we actually move...although it looks like we can get the house we want!! :D Also, John got a new motor for our truck for fixing a client's computer...thats $400 (at a minimum) less I have to worry about!!

Good news today!

NoahsMommy
09-20-2005, 09:59 PM
Originally posted by DJFyrewolf36
Thank you sooooo much Noahsmommy!!! John says that the links will be very very helpful!
Oh good, I'm SO glad. I'll keep my eyes and ears open for more ideas, OK?

Hugs, Kelly :)

RedHedd
09-20-2005, 10:10 PM
Originally posted by DJFyrewolf36
Awwww thanks!! Make sure you give Mishi boy an extra belly rub for us too :D

*PS the brats STILL aren't leaving that toy alone...they've even taken to throwing it at us now :rolleyes: :D *

Edit: I was posting at the same time you were, Wolflady! Thanks for the support. Yeah, the first time I heard an employer say "you are too qualified to work here" I nearly peed myself. Grrr...is every state as assinine as Nevada? Right to work...grrr Mishi has a bare belly now. He had an ultrasound today - I guess we have to get used to these $500 vet bills :rolleyes: - to check his kidneys. All is status quo - nothing's changed since the last time, except now I'm $500 poorer and his lovely belly curls are gone. It feels SO soft, but he won't let me get a pic. I'll keep trying.

DJFyrewolf36
09-20-2005, 11:35 PM
Originally posted by RedHedd
Mishi has a bare belly now. He had an ultrasound today - I guess we have to get used to these $500 vet bills :rolleyes: - to check his kidneys. All is status quo - nothing's changed since the last time, except now I'm $500 poorer and his lovely belly curls are gone. It feels SO soft, but he won't let me get a pic. I'll keep trying.

Oh...poor Mishi boy! Glad to hear everything is ok though...minus his belly curls :D

sandragonfly
09-21-2005, 12:18 PM
OH hooraaay!! that is what I hope to hear!!! :D :D I hope more will come!! let us know how things going at the new housie. (you can do that via PM if you want).

I'm so happy for you guys. I hope john have already found what he liked from those links, I still wish you both lucks!!

(((HUGS)))
..gina & the cheering ark