I'm so lost.

[catnapper]

I don't know what end is up anymore. I am stressed to the limit and just plain tired.

I recieved an email today from someone who was truly interested in Angel and Flutter TOGETHER. I wrote out a long e-mail that took an hour or so to compose. At the last second, before I sent it, I deleted it and pretty much told her that Angel has an adoption pending and that I'd wait to see what she wants to do if Angel was adopted.

Part of me wants to be a good foster mom and actually find Flutter a home. Part of me says she's already GOT a home. I fell asleep with her in bed, woke to her meowing to get back up. Abby no longer flees bed when she sees Flutter there. It feels like my guys have already accepted her as permanent, so why can't I just admit it too? We all know Harry loves Flutter. I have not taken any new photos of her lately because I don't know which folder to put the photos in -- foster or monster? My guys go into the monster folder. Which folder does she belong? :o

If she stays, I am completely DONE fostering. Yeah yeah, we all say that, don't we? I can't take the hissing and growling from Pouncer. I can't take that they always bring in a parasite/worm/bacteria and give it to my guys. Yet I am compelled to help and love these cats in need.

Now, since I wasted almost two hours online at this point, I need to go get some work done... and scoop some litteboxes. I'm two hours behind in that duty and boy can you tell! PU!!!! :eek:

[orangemm]

Catnapper, I think ALL of you wants Angel & Flutter to stay. Why are you hesitating? If you're having this much of a problem just writing someone about a potential adoption, just think what would happen if that person appeared and was ready to walk out the door with one or both of these precious babies?

I think you've already given in and they will stay with you.

Just my humble opinion!

p.s. since everyone has already accepted these two, what is the problem????

[CalliesMom]

I don't really have any suggestions but just wanted to give you a (((HUG))). It must be so hard to have fosters; I know I would never be able to give them up. You must do what you feel is best for Angel and Flutter. If that is keeping them in your home, then keep them. However, if a good home comes available, I would honestly think about it and decide from there.

I think, though, you love Flutter far too much as this point to give her up. I'd keep her. ;)

[JenBKR]

((hugs)) That's why I don't think I could foster, I would end up with 100 cats! Seriously though, if you feel that strongly, and are that torn over what to do, you must really love those cats. Think about how you'll feel if they go - empty? Or happy for them? I have a feeling they'll end up in the 'monster' folder ;) Let us know what you decide to do!

[lvpets2002]

:) I know it takes lots of work to forster & can get so nail bitting & hair pulling out.. However you are a strong willed person & wont give up & you know in your heart the needing in heart is so great for these babies.. Hang on ok & keep us updated ((((((HUGS)))))

[sirrahbed]

You ole softie you!!;) :) Kim - whatever you decide will be the right thing. If that other home sounds purrfect - then it is a good consideration. If your kitties and you are really happy as the furrever home - that is wonderful too. You are such a good meowmie AND foster meowmie:D ((((HUGS)))) to you.

[catnapper]

Sigh, I'd be happy to see them go to the right home. If only they were the ones adopted by the people adopting Nessa and Elfie! Those girls hit the lottery when it comes to forever homes!

Angel is actually potentially adopted by someone, and I know he'll love her very much and take great care of her. He loves her despite her leaky poo problem, so once she's clear he'll be a great family for her.

Its Flutter that has me by the heart. I know I love her. I know I'd be thrilled if she found a fabulous home like the one Katrina found or the one that Nessa and Efie found. I'd be able to give her up to a lot of PT families. But what kills me is thinking of giving her up to a home where I don't know anything about them, and would never hear updates on her, etc.

Little Beau found a nice enough home with a very sweet couple. But I knew the day he was adopted that I'd never hear from them again and I never have. I simply cannot let her go to a family like that. I knew Murphy went to a home where I'd never hear from and I haven't and it still hurts me because as you know, I was attached to him as well. I do not regret letting him go - I KNOW he's found a nice home, but I am sad that I never hear about him.

[sirrahbed]

awww Kim --- how about your own unofficial contract that makes PT membership and updates a requirement??;)

[catnapper]

Originally posted by sirrahbed
awww Kim --- how about your own unofficial contract that makes PT membership and updates a requirement??;)
LOL... haven't thought of that! And if they don't post on average of once a month I can come and reclaim her? :D :D :D

[Randy_K]

Not so much lost as torn between the original intent and what it has since become. If your home can stand more life in it and everybody is happy, then keep them. Nothing could be better.

[catmandu]

I HAVE NEVER HEARD,HOW KARINAS KITTENS,ARE DOING,AND ITS LIKE PULLING HENS TEETH,TO FIND OUT ABOUT GARY OR FRANKLIN.
I HEAR ABOUT POUNCETTE,AND KITTENS,AND SHOULD HAVE AN UPDATE,VERY SOON.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/Picture725.jpg

[furrykidsmother]

It must be very hard to make that kind of decision, but I think since it has become so hard for you it is because you really do love Flutter and really do want to keep her. I think she is already home with you.

[jazzcat]

(((HUGS)))

I imagine it is very hard to foster. I know you love Flutter very much and you are torn. Wished I had some great words of wisdom for you.

[Barbara]

Kim, take it one step at a time. I am sure things in your house will be better once Elfie and Nessa left. Then next thing Angel:)

And then see how it is. If you wouldn't foster any more I would understand it. I couldn't.

If your work and your family run ok, then there may be a little extra of emotional energy that you can use for fostering. If you don't have that little extra and still continue then you put the other elements of your life at risk- and you shouldn't.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

[jenluckenbach]

I do not know what to say. :( Only you can decide what you need to do. Not everyone can let go of the things they love. And I don't say that as a criticism. But if you mean what you say when you said I know I'd be thrilled if she found a fabulous home like the one Katrina found or the one that Nessa and Efie found. then you MUST at least respond to the inquiries and give the people a chance to show you who they are.

[catnapper]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
I know I'd be thrilled if she found a fabulous home like the one Katrina found or the one that Nessa and Efie found. then you MUST at least respond to the inquiries and give the people a chance to show you who they are.
You are right Jen, she responded and it honestly feels like a wonderful person. I'd always said I'd let her go if they could go together. I want to meet her, and get to see if I get the feeling from her I did with everyone else's new families. I will know what to do when the time comes. Right nw all I know is I'm on the edge of falling apart and thats not good for me, my family, and my existing cats. Something's gotta give soon.

[NoahsMommy]

Kim,

You'll never, ever go wrong if you keep the best interests of these girls first. If you feel Flutter and Angel are best with you, there's your answer.

I know yours is an amazing home! Without you, they'd be on the street. Remember, MANY, MANY people keep their fosters. Its not a bad thing...you've taken more kitties off the streets that way.

Hugs,
Kelly :)

[Randy_K]

Peaches was a foster that became permanent when Mango gave his stamp of approval. Happens all the time...

[rg_girlca]

Oh Kim, I wish I had the right words to say to you to make you feel better, but unfortunately I don't.

This has got to be the hardest part of fostering. The longer you have them, the more you fall deeper in love and the harder it gets to let them go.

I think what Jen said is good Kim. Afterall, you can't get better advice than by an expert.

Whatever you decide Kim, you know we are behind you 110%.

((((((HUGS)))))) for you dear girl.

[Craftlady]

I agree with Jen's advise, give these people a chance to show you something about who they are etc. IF this all works out take some time away from fostering, regroup with your family and fur babies.
You have to think of your family and fur babies first and fostering second. It will all come into place. :)

[smokey the elder]

You have already done so much more than people who can't or won't foster. It is tough, to place a cat or kitten who you may have nursed back to health or rescued from a nasty situation, and never hear from the new family. My first fosters went 4 years ago and they may have fallen off the face of the earth for all I know. On the other hand, I do hear from a good number of new families, and the updates are very heartwarming. I've even gotten repeat business!

At the end of the day I need to have faith in my organization's screening process, and that the cat is getting a good home. My group delivers the pets, so we get to see the home situation.