Prayers for my husband...and me

[DJFyrewolf36]

My husband is very ill. He was born with a digestive system defect that doctors have told him will end up killing him eventually. I'm afraid that eventually is coming up a lot faster than I'm comfortable with. The problem is is that I can't get him into a doctor to where he can even get any relief from his pain much less doing anything about fixing the problem. As is, I'm waiting right now to hear if I'm going to be fired for missing too much time for being ill myself...I took ONE DAY without pay and I guess now I'm going to be screwed for it. I don't have the money to pay for insurance for my husband, I can't even care for myself properly. I live with five people just to make ends meet, how in the hell am I going to aford medical care? The government is absolutely no help because I make "too much money" WTH?!
If I loose this job (I'm only a temp...and my chances for permanent employ are obviously screwed if I do get fired) no one will hire me because of all the hell involved with my previous job. My work history is all messed up and on paper I look like a big fat looser of an employee.
If I loose this job there is nothing to stop me from killing myself. At least with my life insurance, my husband can finally get some help.
I've been kicked down too many times. I'm not even going to bother getting back up again.

[wolflady]

Gosh, that sounds so scary. :( Financial and health trouble is the absolute worst. I'm sad that so many people are stuck in this boat. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but prayers are on the way from me so that you can find a solution.
**hugs**

[ramanth]

*HUGS*

I hope your husband feels better soon and that things start too look up for you both.

[JenBKR]

If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. I know how difficult financial troubles are, but having to then deal with job problems and everything that is going on with your husband...my prayers and thoughts are with you. I know you don't know me very well, but if you need to talk just pm me.

*Hugs*

[DJFyrewolf36]

I feel bad for even posting about this. Too many people are in my same situation...or even worse off and they're coping with it. I am so disgusted with myself.

[JenBKR]

You need to get it out and talk to people who will listen and care. Don't feel bad about that AT ALL. That's what we're here for! :) You cope by getting feelings out, if you keep them in you'll explode.

[luvofallhorses]

Please don't put yourself down :( I do hope things look up for you both very soon (((hugs)))

[DJFyrewolf36]

I guess the hardest part is watching my poor husband suffer. I wish that I could just make my illness go away so I can dedicacte my energy to helping him. He is a really good guy and to see him like this at only 25 is heartbreaking.

I've only been with him for three years but to loose him now would distroy me.

He is really bad off today...and since I missed work yesterday I had to come in today. It's taking every thing I have to not tell everyone to F off and just go home to be with him. I know though that loosing my job would only make things worse for us both. :(

I hope he doesn't end up in the ER again. They won't do jack for him except make him even more uncomfortable.

[caseysmom]

Your last paragraph is very troubling. Even contemplating suicide is not a good thing. Your husband would be horrified if you did that to "help" him. He would probably lose all his will to live...he needs you for as long as he can have you, each minute is precious.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Originally posted by caseysmom
Your last paragraph is very troubling. Even contemplating suicide is not a good thing. Your husband would be horrified if you did that to "help" him. He would probably lose all his will to live...he needs you for as long as he can have you, each minute is precious.

I've thought of this too. It is a major struggle. I just feel so powerless and can't help but think that there is someone out there who can support him better than I can.

[beeniesmom]

Hugs....
I hope the situation gets better.

[caseysmom]

Sweetie you love him, your the best person for him.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Sigh....

I just got off the phone with him...he's puking blood again. :(
He sounded so forelorn too...he kept saying that he just wished I could come home from work and hold him.

I want to so bad but I NEED this job. Soon I can put him on my insurance and maybe something can get done.

[chocolatepuppy]

Please don't call yourself a loser! Bad times fall on the best of people. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, that you and your husband have better health and that things turn around for you. :) {hugs}

[Daisy and Delilah]

Oh my goodness. This is so upsetting. My heart goes out to you and your husband honey. I will have you both in my thoughts and prayers. You had to get it out so you did the right thing. Holding it in could have made you feel worse. Please stay strong for you and your husband. I've been through alot of hardship in my life too so feel free to PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to. Please don't give up. There are alot of wonderful people here for you. You're not alone. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

Terry

[gini]

Please stay right here with us and keep on posting all of your thoughts. We don't care what you write - all of us understand and feel your pain and feeling of helplessness.

You betcha you have my prayers.....put on the "urgent" list.

Does Nevada offer any kind of hospital care for you in your situation. I would start calling around - there must be something that can be done for him.

[jenluckenbach]

I have no words of help, but I hope knowing that people DO care can be of some comfort. Try hard to hang in there. I know that is so much easier said than done, but it is important to treasure each day (good advice for everyone). Many times you simply cannot control things. and that sucks.

You will be in my prayers DAILY! More if needed.

Did you say you WILL be getting insurance? How long yet? Things will start to look better once you feel you have at least that.

Oh, I feel completely useless, and of no help at all, but I just wanted you to know that I understand. We have no insurance right now, and that alone, is scary.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}

[Randi]

I'm sending hugs to you and hope there'll be a solution for you and husband. Your employer ought to understand the situation and give you some time off. Go and talk to him/her about this.

My best wishes - and more hugs.

[DJFyrewolf36]

I wish that putting him in the hospital would work...I'm siriously thinking of just taking him to the Catholic hospital in Reno, as they are very good and they offer assistance. The hospital in Carson is friggen moronic. They just give him anti-nausea medication and send him home (which will come out to about $3000 just for that!!) They won't do a lot because we don't have insurance and arent on medicare.

I'll see how he is when I get home tonight. He did manage to keep fluids down today which is an improvement. Sigh...I'll need a tractor to get him to go to the hospital though. He's been treated badly by doctors all his life and is scared to go even if he is really bad off.

*edit* I myself have health insurance, but until I am on permanent employ, I can't add him to it. My temporary employment ends in November, so I'll have to have something by then. I hope I can find something sooner than that though.

[catland]

I'm so sorry about your husband's condition and the toll it is taking on both of you.

I don't have any kind of medical training, but here are a couple of things that come to mind.

Have you considered any kind of alternative treatments - acupuncture, herbal medicines - not to cure but maybe to help relieve his suffering?

Do you have hospice services where you live? They might be more helpful than the ER doctors.


anyway - please know you can always come here to vent - we'll always listen.

[Karen]

Tell him if he won't go willingly, you're gonna wack him on the head and drag him to Reno anyway, so he'd better just co-operate, or then his head will hurt (once he's conscious again) as well as the rest of him. I know how hard it is to get certain individuals to the doctor.

And you will both be in our prayers.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Thanks everyone...

I'll update when I get home. I've got some ideas for teas that might at least allow him to eat, and if nothing else allow him to be in less pain.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Prayers on the way from me too.

Is your husband a Veterian by any chance? They have Veterian's hospitals he could go into if so.

What about Social Security Disability? If he is disabled and can't work, he may qualify for that. It usually takes a long time to get approved though. It depends on the case.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Well Im home...and at least happy to say John looks quite a bit better. My brother in law (who is an herbologist) came over and cooked up a tea that seems to be working wonders. His teas always end up at least making John feel better.

John has kept down water and tea for about 4 hours now. I'm hoping that by tomorow, he can eat a little something.

[jenluckenbach]

Can he drink Boost or Ensure? And keep it down. A very good way to get vitamins and calories when you can't eat.

[Ginger's Mom]

I am glad to hear that the tea is working to make your husband feel better and to keep something in his stomach. I still think that the hospital in Reno is a good idea. Would your brother-in-law be able to help you get your husband to the hospital? Do you have any other family members in the area that can help you and your husband when your health problems get this serious?

I just saw jenluckenbach's post, and it may be a good idea to try something like that in the morning.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this.

[anna_66]

I wish I had some good advice to give you, but it sounds like you've already been given plenty. Just know I'll be thinking of you and your hubby and hoping that you BOTH are doing better soon.

[catnapper]

I am so sorry. I had no idea! I love how we make too much money - yet the ones that ARE on federal/state aid are the ones driving nice cars, have all the latest electronic gadgets and wear $200 shoes. :mad: The ones like us that work HARD to get by are the ones that get lost.

I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. Please don't give up.

{{{HUGS}}}}

[Oggyflute]

Best thoughts and wishes to you and your husband.

[cyber-sibes]

((((hugs))))))
Don't forget to breathe --- sometimes when you feel so overwhelmed, it helps to lie down (or sit back in your chair) for a minute, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, exhale all the air you can, and take another long deep breath. When you're calm, things look so much better. People have given you some wonderful advice, and lots of prayers that things will improve are coming your way.
"Don't give up before the miracle" Hang in there sweetie!

[NoahsMommy]

How scary for you both. I'm not sure about Nevada's laws, but in CA I know that ER's are REQUIRED by law for provide services to EVERYONE, regardless of insurance status.

Here's a list of Nevada hospitals:

http://www.nvha.net/membership.htm

I recommend taking him to one that can help. Vomiting blood is NOT normal...and he NEEDS to see a GI ASAP.

A lot of doctors actually have a heart and will work with you on payments. This is something serious. Maybe you can arrange payment plans?

If he can't work, is he on disability??

What about calling around to hospitals? Can you qualify for an government programs?

[shais_mom]

prayers on the way

[NoahsMommy]

I did some more searching for you...

Check here for a federally controlled HMO program. HMO's are OK as long as you keep on top of things and DEMAND a specialist.
http://www.sierrahealth.com/body.cfm?id=8

Scroll down to check out the plans in Nevada:
http://www.nevada-health-insurance.org/directory/nevada-healthcare.html

I wish you luck finding him help. If he can't work, you need to check out disability...

Hugs,
Kelly :)

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear that both you and your husband are having health problems.:( Lots of prayers and positive thoughts are being sent your way. Please take care.