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View Full Version : Grrr... the bad part of fostering



catnapper
07-11-2005, 08:55 PM
I just got an email from someone interested in Angeleyes. Its not the interest that bothered me... I AM a foster mom after all, I AM supposed to find her a home! :D just not my home! keep telling youself that Kim... maybe you'll believe it

Anyway, this is the whole email:
I would love to have her my name is TARA and I would Take good care of her.

Thats it. What on earth? Is this person serious? Does she think that based on that wonderful example of diction that I'm going to rush over and hand her my kitten? Am I really off base here? She didn't ask a thing about her! Nothing, just that she wants her! No inquiry into her personality, into how she is with other pets, how her little broken leg is... nothing.

Sigh.... perhaps I am too picky, and I expect people to form proper sentences while they ask ABOUT the cat. Ask SOMETHING. Ask ANYTHING. Just don't point and say "Ooo, pretty kitty, me want it!"

Fostering is sooo hard. Rewarding when you find wonderful homes. Frustrating and defeating when you get inquiries like this. :(

kitten645
07-11-2005, 09:00 PM
Sounds to me like it's a kid:rolleyes: There are definate downsides to the internet, like not knowing who you are dealing with.
Having been in retail for 25 years, I can say from experience that dealing with the public can really suck!
Best of luck with Angeleyes.
Claudia

GraciesMommy
07-11-2005, 09:01 PM
Sounds like a kid, doesn't it?

I am with you..I would want someone who showed more of an interest and asks the same kinds of questions I would ask if I were planning on adopting a furkid

rg_girlca
07-11-2005, 09:03 PM
My Lord Kim, how old is this person? Does her mommy know that she wrote to you?

I would e-mail her back and say to her, "That's it?" "Don't you want to know anything about her? Like how her broken leg is, or what has to be done for it, what her character is like" and so on and so on.

You are not being off base or picky in this case at all.

Karen
07-11-2005, 09:06 PM
Ask HER questions! Like does she have any other pets, describe the home environment Angeleyes would be going to, etc., etc. She may not have ever done this before, so doesn't know how the process goes. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, and at least respond ...

catnapper
07-11-2005, 10:12 PM
Oh, I responded alright... with the cold hard facts....

Hi,
Angeleyes is still suffering from a broken leg. It is not healing, and she'll need extensive surgery on it to plate the bones together. The surgery might not work, and the leg may ultimately need to be amputated. Right now the surgery can not even be scheduled since she has had a bad bout of coccidia, which is a parasite that causes dehydration and chronic diarrhea. She has been on meds for this, yet not getting any better. I'm not worried, because coccidia has been especially terrible this year throughout the country. The surgery cannot be scheduled unitl she is clean and clear of coccidia.

The surgery will be a major surgery and she'll need to be 100% healthy to undergo it. Then she'll have a 2-3 week recovery following the surgery. I tell you all this to let you know she may not be available to come home with you for another two months (or more... maybe less... we don't know.)

If you are still interested in her, and willing to wait, I'd be more than happy to discuss her personality and keep you updated with her progress. I also would like her to find a home where she will be with at least one other cat since she has bonded so well with the other fosters.
Thanks for inquiring,
Kim

I hope its enough to scare her off. Most people want a kitten NOW and won't wait, ler alone to hear she has some major medical issues. I worked hard to word it so that I was polite, while the whole while I wanted to tell her about the wonders of proper sentence structure and how most people ask about the cat instead of just saying the want him/her.

DogLover9501
07-11-2005, 10:31 PM
I can't believe that's all she said! When I was interested in Emma, I asked a ton of questions.

I think your responce is very polite, and informative :) But I also hope it scares her off :p Angeleyes belongs in *your* home, Kim, and you know it :D

jenluckenbach
07-12-2005, 05:55 AM
We get dozens of that type of inquiry!! You must remember, ANYONE can look and email. I used to go into extreme detail and (of course) I would get no answer back from them. Now I do it differently, if the inquiry is short, the response is short. I no longer waste my time.

If I get this....."Is Pumpkin still available?" I just answer...."Yes, Pumpkin is still available at this time." If they are truly interested, the WILL get back to me!

In your case, a simple "Thank you for your interest in adopting from one by one (I always say this, even on the ignorant ones). The first step in adopting from us is to fill out our online pre-application form"

Now, this does not stop kids from going ahead and filling out the form, but then you have a little more info to work with.

Don't get me wrong, your answer is just fine, it is just that I think you will find, over time, that it isn't all necessary.

Maya & Inka's mommy
07-12-2005, 07:35 AM
Your response was very good! If that person is really interested in Angeleyes, he/she will call you back! I wouldn't trust a short request like that either.... ! You are a good foster-meowmie!!

tigerrain
07-12-2005, 07:49 AM
I got the feeling they either were young or it was thier first time every inquiring about a foster. Either way I understand your frustration and I think your responce was on the money. I hope everything goes well with angeleyes and she finds a really good home after shes all healed up. I'll be sending good wishes her way.By the way Iam Kim am new to pt. So Hi to everyone.

Pawsitive Thinking
07-12-2005, 08:22 AM
I'd love to have Brad Pitt and would take good care of him too.........trust your instincts, its not gonna happen!

sasvermont
07-12-2005, 08:34 AM
Well, when I was trying to find a new home for Ti, my Bengal kitty, I was very selective.

I had one person very, very interested but the girl didn't have a car that was repaired enough to drive 4 hours to my home. I told her that I had concerns about her not having enough money to be able to take care of Ti in the event he needed surgery etc. and she was insulted by that.

Well, I said what I thought was important to keep him in a safe and sound home. I think you should and can be as selective as you wish to be. Hurt feels can repair.

I am sure the lady who originally wanted Ti got another cat - so be it. Ti is very, very happy where he is now and hey, I am happy and relieved that he has found a safe and forever home. It took me months to find just the right place for him.

Good homes are worth waiting for, I do believe.

I do not have a slew of fosters to deal with but I did have a lot of pressure to rehome Ti as he was tearing apart my Miley girl cat....limb by limb. I hung in there with the process and I am sooooo glad I did.

SAS

furrykidsmother
07-12-2005, 08:43 AM
It does sound like it is a child. I think your response was great. It is important that a perspective owner realize her health issue with her leg and realize it may be some time before they get her and that probably a lot of her "kittenhood" will be gone by then. If all they are looking for is a cute kitty, they should probably look elsewhere as Angeleyes will need an adult with a good head on their shoulders to see her through and respect the injury to her leg and the fact that she may loose it. I don't really think we have to worry about her going anywhere though. I believe she is already at home with you!

orangemm
07-12-2005, 02:49 PM
Sounded more like the child was talking about a stuffed animal, not a live cat!

It might be a passing fancy, next week she'll want a puppy.

Excellent response, by the way.

catmandu
07-12-2005, 04:08 PM
WHEN THE ANIMAL WELFARE ADOPTS OUT ONE,OF THIER CATS,THE PROSPECTIVE OWNER,IS INTERVIEWED,AS TO WHETHER,THE ADOPTERS REALIZE,THAT THIS CAT,IS GOING,TO BE WITH THEM,FOR AS LONG,AS 15 YEARS,AND THAT THE CAT,IS GOING,TO NEED PROPER VET CARE,AND THAT,AFTER ALL A CAT,IS A LIVING CREATURE.
THE CAT,IS NOT A VIDEO GAME,OR A TOY,THAT CAN BE TURNED OFF,WHEN YOU ARE TIRED ,OF THIER PRESSENCE.AND THE CAT,HAS TO BE FED,AND CLEANED UP,AFTER EVERY DAY,AND NOT IGNORED.
THAT TURNS OOF,THE ONES,WHO WANT A CAT,ON A WHIM,MORE OFTEN,THAN NOT.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/catphotos889.jpg

momcat
07-12-2005, 08:48 PM
The first thing I learned when I started my cuurent job 24 years ago was this: If you get a gut feeling about a case, go with it because 99 times out of 100 you're going to be right. Go with your gut feeling on this one. This doesn't sound like the right home for Angeleyes but that's just MY gut feeling! It sounds like the e-mail came from a kid... maybe. In my job I have to respond to inquiries on policy and procedure from other agencies and at times grown up professionals. I used to teach high school English and maybe I read these letters as a teacher. I can't tell you how many times I want to grab a red pen, make the spelling & grammer corrections then send the letter back! I can't understand how an educated professional could sign off on letters like that. We all want nothing but the very best for Angeleyes as you do. Be very selective when it comes to her adoption and be absolutely sure. Leave no room for second thoughts. By the way, your response was excellent!