Im Sorry

[Kfamr]

Im sorry if i have been actign any differently lately. I never really wanted to anyone about this, but my dads back is really bad ( he has a desease called DDD, deteriorating disc desease) And well the medication he take for it make him angry sometimes. And bettween that and my school work (which isnt going to well) i have just been a big ball fo tears and depression. I feel as if im worthless and the only thing i have to live for is Simba. This may not mean anything to you all but i just felt i needed a way to filter this all and i needed to apoligize for acting differently towards anyone. I really dont know what is wrong just some nights i cant find sleep unless i cry myself to sleep. Simba is basicly a tissue for my teas, as i always go to him when i cry. I feel he is the only one who actually cares. i dont know. there just something wrong with me and i have always been afraid to admit it.

[Logan]

KayAnn,
I am so glad you have Simba. Our animals can provide us with so much comfort when we are down about things.
Thank you for letting us know what is going on with your dad, so we can include him and you in our prayers. That's what friends are for, and I certainly count you as one of my top, pet loving friends, even though I have never been fortunate enough to meet you in person.
You hang in there, and do your best at school. And love on that precious Simba, who we all think is tops!
Logan

[Karen]

Hey, there, kiddo! Don't feel worthless, after all, folks here are your friends, and Simba - who has got to be THE most patient dog in the universe, as well as one of the most photogenic - sure loves you lots and lots! And think of all the doggies in the world you have inadvertantly convinced, through your love for Simba and strong advocating of pitbulls, that a pitbull - or a pitbull mix like your beloved Simba - can be a great dog, too, and don't deserve the bad rap they get.

I'm gonna private message you, too, in a minute. But you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers - it's an awful thing having to watch someone you care for in pain, and angry. But you have to know that the REAL him loves you, and it's just the pain and the meds making him so angry, right?

And WE all are your friends, even though we are all miles apart. Chin up, kiddo!

[ellensy]

Hey, i know just how you feel. I was also like that when my dad and grandma who is really close to me passed away. At least we have our best 'furry' friends to comfort us. School can sometimes do that to you too, esp if the pressure is really mounting up. Just think that you can do it and you can really do it! :)

[MichelleN]

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. You are in my prayers. Just hang in there and remember that Simba is there to help you get through this.

Thinking of you.

[carrie]

Kayann
It sounds like you are really going through the mill at the moment. Remember that we are all your friends and we all respect you and think you are a worthwhile, intelligent and loving person. It must be hard for your Dad to cope at the moment and of course that affects you too.
I'm so glad you have Simba and so glad you have us - don't ever worry about telling us what is happening. We think the world of you and will give any help and support we can at any time.
Keep your chin up lovvie.

[lynnestankard]

Oh Kay Ann - so sorry your feeling so bad. YOU must feel very angry with whats going on with your Dad - believe me when adults are in pain - we tend to lash out (not physically!) at those nearest to us - and we don't want our children suffering for/with us - but we don't realise our lovely daughters are no longer children - but very grown up young ladies who we should share are thoughts and feelings with. Try and let your dear Dad know that you WANT to talk and share things with him. He make take some convincing - but I'm sure he will slowly realise that you can actually help - share his thoughts and maybe pains.

Is there anyone at school you can talk your problems over with - or any adult - mum, auntie, grandma or big sister? You sound quite depressed to me and maybe a trip to the doctor might be needed.

Your Simba sounds a wonderful dog and he obviously loves you as much as you love him - thats lovely.
Lynne

[sammi]

I hope things will get brighter for you today. I think it happens to all of us at some point some days the bottom seems to drop out of everything. I have shed many a tear in my furkid's fur and it sure was a comfort. We are your friends and we understand you have lots on your mind. I hope your dad gets to feeling better soon. Chronic pain is very hard to live with and sometimes medication can give you some terrible mood swings.
Remember that your Simba girl loves ya, your parent's love you, and we do to.

[RachelJ]

KayAnn, don't feel too bad about having a short fuse. We all get to that point at various times, maybe more than we care to admit. It was very good of you to apologize though, and that can mean the world to others who may have unkowingly taken it personally. Most of us here have known you for a long time and know what a sweet generous girl you are. Of course that doesn't mean you shouldn't get angry when it warrants. Just choose your battles carefully and make sure they are worthy of the effort and that your words convey what you really mean.

I am so sorry about your dad. My dad was very ill when I was your age, so I know about all the ramifications that can have in a young girls life and in a family. And it is wonderful that Simba can be there to comfort you when you need it. But try not to let yourself stay down and depressed for too long. Simba needs the Happy, Fun Loving KayAnn too. He needs his playtime and exercise. Sometimes when I feel like I don't want to do anything, knowing that Hannah and Tucker need to get their playtime and fresh air will motivate me to go outside even when I don't feel like it. Then after I am out there and realize the joy of the the wind in my face and the blue sky above and a funny crazy little dog, it really changes my mood. So let Simba comfort you, but don't forget to take a walk or do activities with him for his sake, and you might find, like I do, that it can lift your spirits as well.

And remember KayAnn, we here at Pet Talk, care very much about you. You are never alone. And Lynne was right. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you can't come out of feeling down. Your school couselor, psychologist, or even school nurse may be a source for help if you can't find it elsewhere.

Rachel

[Albea]

KayAnn:
Please don't feel that there is anything wrong with you. Just ask Simba, who loves you so much, and he'll tell you that you are a wonderful person. You are going through a very stressing time and it's only natural to be depressed. It's hard enough to be your age without having to cope, at the same time, with all your other problems.
As other Pet Talkers wrote, try to find somebody you trust and can talk to. We are all here for you, but you also need to get help close to home.
It's very frustrating to see the people we love in pain, but perhaps a way to help your dad, and yourself, would be to tell him how much you care for him and how well you understand his suffering.
We wish you didn't have to go through all of this and hope you will find a way of bringing out your feelings of frustration by talking to a counselor, or anybody else with the experience to help you.
You'll be in our thoughts.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Hi, Kiddo.
I know somewhat how you feel. 10 days after my 13th birth day, my mother died. I was crushed to put it mildly. I had a poodle, named Tyke, at that time. It's a wonder the poor dog didn't drown in all the tears I cried over him. I felt that if one of our family should go, it should have been me. I was a kid and my dad and brother needed my mother. I am now 51 (don't tell anyone) and I can tell you that even though you may not understand what is going on, there is a purpose and reason for everything, so HOLD ON. You are worth just as much as anyother person on this planet and have just as much right to happiness. Sometimes you have to take life minute by minute. One thing is certain: cercumstances always change. Engulf youself in things that interest you including things that make you laugh or smile. Sometimes life will take you on such a wild ride that all you can do is hold on. You may want to try keeping a journal for your eyes only. Writing down all those feelings helped me (and still does).
You will be in my prayers.

[tatsxxx11]

Dear KayAnn...I applaud the great courage it took for you to come forward and offer such a heartfelt apology. A true sign of exemplary character!! But here you are among friends; true friends. Please know that you can "come" to us all and share your feelings, always. You are so dear to us and you know how much we all adore your beloved Simba. You and Simba, we all, are family. I am very sorry that your Dad is under the weather and having such pain. You know, people just don't act themselves when they are in pain...physical pain or emotional! You are a dear, sweet, very loving girl KayAnn. The love and devotion you feel for Simba has, on more than one occasion, brought tears to my eyes. A person who is capable of such deep love and loyalty is A#1 in my book!! Just remember, sometimes letting go of your feelings and expressing your fears to those who love you, often helps to lighten the load. Take one day at a time and know that you are much loved by so many!! And although I know it is hard, try and understand that your Dad is not angry with you!! And how lucky you, and we all are, to have the unconditional, unfaltering love and loyalty of our canine/feline/furry/feathered/crawly companions!:) I know what you mean when you say Simba is your greatest comfort!!! Hang in there KayAnn! We love you.

[lizbud]

KayAnn,
Thank you for explaining how you have been
feeling about the stress in your life. It's
very understandable to feel helpless(hopeless)
when someone in our family is suffering from
a chronic condition that we are powerless to
cure.. It's hard enough to deal with growing
up's everyday problems, but you are dealing
with much more than that right now.
Please know that we ALL love you & Sim and
always look forward to the delightful pictures
of Simba in all his glory, or Simba the silly
guy. Your pictures are always a treat for me.
Please try to find an adult teacher,doctor,
school conselor, or family friend to talk to
face to face. Believe me, it can really help
to have someone right there with you that you
can confide in. You, your Dad & whole family
will be in my thoughts and prayers...Liz.

[Heather Wallace]

I to have often cried to my pets. Both my cats seem to know when I am upset. Once my little cat Max came up to me and licked my tears as he didn't really know what was going on.

Things will get better, stick in with your school work as it will prove to be very important to you.

Lot of Love from the gang in the UK

[thelmalu99]

Hi KayAnn,
I'm very sorry to hear that your dad is going through a tough time. Even though I have never had the pleasure of meeting you in person, I know that you are a very sweet young lady. Please don't think that you are worthless. You are just as deserving of love and happiness as anyone else. Sometimes in life, we just have to go through difficult times, and you are entitled to feel frustrated and upset. That's perfectly natural. I admire you very much for being able to apologize for not being yourself, and friends are supposed to understand these things. We do.
Isn't it wonderful to have a furry friend to cuddle up to when we're feeling upset? It really does help.
Remember that your parents love you. Remember that when your dad gets angry it's just because he's in pain and his medication affects his moods. Remember that you are important and that your feelings are valid.
Keep your chin up and continue to be brave. The bad times we go through in life only make us appreciate the good times even more.
I'll be thinking of you and your dad.
Take care,
Thelma

[Kfamr]

I want to thank you all of you for being concerned. Somtimes i just get to thinking about everythig bad and i get depressed. I havent cried once today. Ive felt fine today... im just afraid to tell people how i feel.. and it was really hard for me to sit there and type all of that. Once again thank you all, its always nice to come her and get your comments on everything. Everyone is just so caring here. Once again thank you.:)

[auggie]

KayAnn, I'm so sorry you're going thru such a difficult time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Live is full of ups and downs, and we've all been there. I can certainly understand when you say, you feel like Simba is the only one who actually cares, since I have felt the same. But even know Simba is the greatest dog, he is not the only thing you have to live for. You're a sweet young lady with your whole live ahead of you. There is nothing you can do about your dad's illness. Be patient and understanding and tell him how you feel. Maybe you can get some friends to help you with your schoolwork. And sometimes you have to take your mind of things, by doing what you enjoy with people you like being with.

[lizbud]

KayAnn,
I'm glad that today was better for you.
Hope the things that Everyone has told you
will help when you start to feel 'down' again.
Please come back & re-visit this post and
share your feelings with people who understand
what's going on with you & your family right
now. We All care so very much how you feel
and are coping with life's problems.
Hugs , Best Wishes & prayers for you & your
family. Please let us all know how you're
doing with this problem. Being able to talk
about problems is the sign of a healthy mind,
so talk away, anytime you feel like sharing,
we will be here for you...
Please give Simba a big hug from me...

[AdoreMyDogs]

KayAnn, everyone said it so beautifully that I am at a loss at what to add. You are very, very brave to have come forward with an appology. I am proud of you and I want you to know that, although we have not met in person, I truly care about you. You are a delightful young woman and I am so glad that I got to know you and Simba through this site. You have added so much laughter and happiness into my days with your most tolerant Simba and all those funny pictures you took of him.

I am just glad to have gotten to know you and I hope you find comfort in knowing how much you are cared for by your friends here at PT. I hope you continue to find more happiness in your days.

Love,

Leslie & Graham

[RachelJ]

KayAnn, thanks for updating us on how you are doing. I know that many of us were kind of worried about you and are so glad the dark cloud is passing. Please don't feel like you are so different, because most people have their troubles. It just looks from the outside that other people are doing so well, but if we each knew their lives we would discover they too have their challenges and heartaches.

You are a very special young lady, wise and caring beyond your years and oh, so talented. If you ever need to list all your good points, come here and we'll start the list for you.

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Oh, KayAnn, I'm sooo sorry, to hear about your dad!:( I hope things will get better for you! I'll keep you, and your family, in my thoughts and prayers.