The dog can't come in the house...

[slleipnir]

So I was at our cottage tonight visiting my aunt and uncle who come to visit every summer. We share the cottage.

Anyway, I almost always take Zeke with us when we go. He loves it out there, and I wanted to exersice him anyway. My uncle, however, hates dogs. He puts up with Zeke though, and we make sure Zeke stays away from him.

So we go to eat supper, and since it was pretty chilly this evening, we ate inside. I didn't have a proper tie out for Zeke so I took him in. I figured I'd just get him to lay down off to the side and stay (which he would do) but the first tihng my aunt said was "No, not in the house"

So my dad said to put him in the truck. I was like no, that's not fair, so I just tied his leash to a post just outside. We started to eat, and zeke was outside crying to come in. He didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to come insdie with everyone like he always is. I decided to eat alone outside in the cold with Zeke.

Appearintly my dad gave her a tooning about it though, but since it's their cottage too, I can't do much about it. I decided I won't take him out anymore and seeing he's not welcome, I don't feel welcome. I probably won't visit them anymore. I know it's selfish of me, but I'm not overly fond of them anyway. And really, if they can't stand my dog sitting very nicely in the corner, then I don't want to be near them. I could see if he was in their face, or begging or being bad, but he's not. He's a very nice dog, and he'd listen to me if I told him to stay.

Urg they annoy me. I'll get over it. Infact I probably have already, but I still most likely won't visit them..

Sorry to vent

[DJFyrewolf36]

I have the "Want me around? Then live with my pets" philosophy. If they cared anything about you they would realize that Zeke isnt "just a dog"

Dislike dogs or not, I think it's rude to shove poor Zeke outside in the cold. I probibly would have left at that point :p

BTW Zeke is very cute ;)

[Kfamr]

That's one thing that stops me from going to many places, my dogs aren't allowed. So I completely understand where you're coming from. If I'm going to be there for a while and my dogs aren't allowed, I won't go.

[slleipnir]

Originally posted by DJFyrewolf36
I have the "Want me around? Then live with my pets" philosophy. If they cared anything about you they would realize that Zeke isnt "just a dog"

Dislike dogs or not, I think it's rude to shove poor Zeke outside in the cold. I probibly would have left at that point :p

BTW Zeke is very cute ;)

That's the thing, they MUST know how much my pets mean to me. They seem me with him and I'm always cuddling him, kissing him and saying I love him. My aunt even mentioned something about it...they didn't seem to care I ate outside either. My pets literally are like kids to me..I love them as much anyway.

[DJFyrewolf36]

If they are that insensitive, IMO they aren't worth visiting. Not to bash your family or anything but I sure wouldn't hang around anyone who dislikes dogs!

I admire you for going outside to eat with Zeke. He seems like better company!

[dukedogsmom]

Poor Zeke. I don't blame you for eating in the cold with him and I can certainly understand not wanting to see them again. It's kind of like they're rejecting more than just Zeke, they're rejecting part of you, as well. Sorry you had a bad experience. Hug Zeke for me.

[lizbud]

I honestly would have eaten outside with my dog too.:D

[Anita Cholaine]

I cant just understand people who say "no dogs in the house". What's wrong with it??? Why cant they understand that dogs arent "just animals" and that they really have feelings??

I hate not having anita with me, I think I would have eaten outside too....
Hugs for you and Zeke

[jennifert9]

What a bunch of jerks!! Sorry Audrey, I know they are family but you are their niece and they need to show you a little respect. Zeke is part of the family. Their personal feelings and opinions on dogs or pets in general, WRONG as they are ;) should have been put to the side out of respect for you. What is the big deal anyway? I wonder what their argument against having dogs in the house is? Strange....

I too would have eaten outside with the dog and made a big fuss about it, like asking them to pass you the salt! LOL!! :) ;)

[finn's mom]

I don't have a problem with people not letting dogs in the house, as long as they don't have dogs as pets. ;) I mean, I'm disappointed when someone tells me that Finn isn't allowed in their home, but, I wouldn't stop being their friend or visiting them only for that reason. If they sucked in some other way, then I wouldn't go visit even if they did allow dogs inside. :D I feel like it's their house, they have the right to make up their own rules. And, just as I wouldn't want them to criticize me for being crazy mad insane about my lovely dog, I don't want to criticize them for not loving him. That's just the way I've always felt about it. Even though I'd rather be around dogs more than most people or at least people who love dogs, I still respect the non-pet-lover's point of view. I know a lot of people that don't like pets at all, and, many of them are people I enjoy being with. And, I respect them because they realize they don't like animals, and, so they don't have any. It's the people that have pets that treat them like garbage, those are the ones I have an issue with. Anyway, I'm sorry that you felt unwelcome. I have eaten outside with Finn, too. My dad puts him out on the patio if he or my mom are eating in the living room, even though Finn doesn't really beg. He just stares from five feet away. But, it's my dad's home, so, out he goes. ;)

[jennifert9]

Kari, you and I have almost the EXACT opposite viewpoint! :) I was always raised that when guests come to your home, they are supposed to be made to feel welcome. Therefore, they can do what they please in your home as if it was their own out of courtesy and respect and hospitality. If someone comes to visit and they are a smoker, smoke away!! You have pets, bring them! Of course, Duncan does not get along with dogs or cats so they can't really bring them to my house but in theory...;) That is just how I was raised, very old-fashioned and polite. I know times have changed and I understand the way it's done nowadays though. I also differ when it comes to pet people and non-pet people...I just don't understand people who don't like animals??? I try and try to wrap my brain around the concept but I don't get it??? What is there not to like? What exactly do these people think in their heads that makes them not "like" animals? They are animals, do they not like themselves!? ;) I don't have any friends that don't like animals and if I did, I would wonder why I was friends with them and would probably have to rethink that one!! LOL!
You know, I'm not trying to start an argument or anything of course...I just thought it was interesting that we think so opposite but yet we seem to be very much alike in other ways... :)

[K9soul]

I was raised to have a similar viewpoint to Kari's, and that is to respect the home you are visiting and their rules. My grandma didn't allow dogs in the house either and when we visited her the collies could come but had to stay outside. They were pretty laid back about it and would simply curl up and go to sleep while I was in, but most the time I was out with them. I didn't like it but my grandma is an absolute clean freak and to her, especially with not ever being around dogs, they had a strong doggy odor and left hair where ever they went. I also feel a situation in which an elder relative sets rules for their house is different than inviting friends over.

I believe guests should be made to feel welcome, but there are limits to the "my home is your home" mentality for me. We do not allow smoking in our home because it reeks, makes us feel sick, is bad for the dogs and bird. I certainly would want guests to feel at home but there is a limit, it is still my home and I would hope they would be respectful about how we feel about cigarette smoke. It is not an odor that easily is gotten rid of after the guests leave either, and is actually detrimental to our health. David actually gets a bit of an allergy/hay fever reaction when he's around cigarette smoke and coughs and has a raw sore throat for a few days after being around it in close quarters for long.

Anyway, back to topic, I probably would have wanted to go out and eat with the dogs too, but again I was raised differently and the family all sat at the dinner table together and ate the meal together. I was brought up to show unquestioning respect and acceptance of adult decisions, but I know that that is becoming more and more "the old way." Either way, I agree that he could have asked more gently that Zeke stay outside rather than just shouting it out that way, that had to make it more hurtful. It definitely would be difficult to visit somewhere if the dogs had to stay out for any length of time. At least at my grandma's they were allowed to stay out in the screened in porch so they were semi-inside and I spent most of my time on the couch that was out there sitting with them. :)

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by jennifert9
I was always raised that when guests come to your home, they are supposed to be made to feel welcome. Therefore, they can do what they please in your home as if it was their own out of courtesy and respect and hospitality. That is just how I was raised, very old-fashioned and polite.

I just don't understand people who don't like animals??? I try and try to wrap my brain around the concept but I don't get it???

I don't have any friends that don't like animals

You know, I'm not trying to start an argument or anything of course...

Ok, well, I was raised to be polite, respectful, etc. it seemed like you're implying that I wasn't because I don't allow people to smoke in my home. I have never felt that I have ever made any of my guests feel uncomfortable or unwelcome by asking them not to smoke in my home. I have a lot of friends who smoke pot and do other drugs in their own homes. I'm sorry, I won't allow anyone, no matter how much I love them, to do anything like that in my house. I wouldn't even want someone to get really drunk in my home. I don't allow people to make the rules in my home. I wouldn't let someone's kids play with my fragile things just because they're allowed to do it in their home, as another example.

And, as for people not liking pets. You're not necessarily meant to understand, I wouldn't try too hard to wrap your head around it. The point is to accept it, just like we want people to accept that we're nuts about our pets...they don't have to understand it, just accept it. Like people who don't like children, or people who don't like pet snakes or pet lizards or pet ferrets or pet rats. I personally wouldn't have a spider in my home as a pet, and, I wouldn't expect someone who had spiders and scorpions as pets to understand why I don't, because that's not the point. Again, it's just to accept the fact that people's hearts and brains are different. People are just wired differently.

And, like I said earlier, I have a lot of friends that don't care for pets. I personally would feel very limited if I only liked people that liked animals. I like the people I like for many different reasons. Some of my friends I enjoy being with because we like the same kind of music. Some of my friends are my friends because we go see movies together. For me, it's enlightening to be around people with different viewpoints and different lifestyles. The reason I choose not to be friends with certain people is almost always because they have negative personalities. If someone can't offer a positive outlook or positive learning experience in some way, I don't usually put too much into them.

And, as for it being an argument, I didn't take it that way. And, you're right, we definitely have 100% different opinions on the subject, and, I'm glad of that, in this particular situation. That's what makes the world interesting. ;)

[jennifert9]

You definitely made good points...I suppose when I think of people visitng my home, it's not friends just popping in. Since I live far away from my family, that is who I think of when I think of guests in my home. When I am a guest at someone else's home, I would not smoke in their house or expect them to accept Duncan without restrictions. So I think it works both ways, you have to be a good guest and a good host and the respect should flow back and forth...
Family is different to me though...My father smokes and as much as I know it's bad for him and want him to quit, my desire to see him and spend time in my home and feel comfortable is more important to me therefore, he can smoke in my home. He has never visited my brother's house and I know it is because he would feel awkward and put out and out of place having to go outside to smoke. It would set him apart and make him worry about his next cigarette. As a smoker (who doesn't smoke in her OWN home irronically!);) I know how that feels and it's not pleasant.
When we were children, my father did a lot of traveling and his business associates (mostly from Romania) would come to the USA and stay with us. I guess that is just how it was done 25 years ago? They would smoke cigarettes and pipes and cigars and drink vodka and stay up half the night enjoying all the luxuries of an American home. The family and the animals would all pile into sleeping bags in my parents bedroom and let them have the run of the house and enjoy themselves. They always cleaned up after themselves and were thankful for the hospitality. I just assumed that that was the way it was done..I would never want anyone ever to feel that they can't come to my home because of any reason whatsoever and when they are here I want them to be themselves and be happy and feel at home. Yes, there are limits as to what I will put up with. For example, I could never let someone with a cat come here and expect the cat to get the run of the house while Duncan is locked up but they can bring their cat and keep it in their room of course. I'm pretty liberal so I can't think of any other situation that would upset me...LOL!!
My grandmother is also a clean freak Jessica! Everything in her home has a place and it is perfectly arranged and beautiful and always has been. But she also loves animals, especially large dogs and Duncan is welcome there. I don't bring him because she moved recently and lives in a very small home with TONS of valuables and I just know that Duncan would knock everything off the tables and make a total mess!!:) LOL!!
It all depends I guess on who the guest is and what the particular circumstance are in each case.
In Audrey's situation, since the cabin is 1/2 her family's and 1/2 her aunt and uncle's, I think she should have been allowed to have Zeke with her. It's family and a little bit of compromise goes a long way.

[jennifert9]

Kari, I apologize. I absolutely, in no way, was trying to imply that you are impolite at all and I'm sorry if it read that way. It's different viewpoints on the subject that's all. I was raised differently and very "old school" I guess you could say.
And about the friends issue, I do agree with you. I also could not have certain pets as I am kind of scared of some of them...LOL!! :) BUT, I also could not be "close" friends with someone who did not understand my love for my dog and the place he holds in my life. I would have nothing to talk to them about. Plain and simple. I ahve tons of acquaitances that don't like pets or don't have pets or laugh at my stories with Duncan and get a kick out of me but as a confidante and close friend...they would miss the point of ME entirely.
You are absolutely right about accepting others viewpoints and I do. I agree with you that my post sounded a little closed minded although I am not that type of a person at all. People can do what they please and I am not here to judge anyone...
Thanks for being understanding and expressing yourself. :)

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by jennifert9
Kari, I apologize.

Accepted, but, you didn't have to apologize. ;)

[K9soul]

I understand what you are saying Jennifer, and to be honest if my Mom were to show up (I see her perhaps once a year), and pulled out a cigar while in my house, I would not say anything. She's my mom, and I see her so rarely. That situation would just be different for me. I would still have difficulty telling my mom or grandma what they could or couldn't do in my home :D. It's all about perspective and the situation to a large degree. If I were having a gathering of local friends or my brothers/sisters-in law over and they started breaking out cigarettes in the house, I probably would ask them to smoke outside.

I should say, Grandma is a clean freak but she also has that old mentality that dogs belong outdoors unless they are small toy breeds. She doesn't hate dogs and she compliments them highly, but she just doesn't like them in her home. If I were to travel all the way to MO though and visit with her, they'd either have to be allowed in or I'd have to stay in a motel or something, I couldn't leave them out overnight, especially in a strange place.

It's very interesting to see the different viewpoints here. In the case of the cabin being co-owned, if it were me I would talk to my parents and see if they couldn't work something out. If not, there wouldn't be a lot you could do other than be with him as much as you could, leave him home, or if you had the option to not go yourself.

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by K9soul
and to be honest if my Mom were to show up (I see her perhaps once a year), and pulled out a cigar while in my house, I would not say anything.

When I had my own place, my dad always asked if it was ok to smoke. I think the respect thing goes both ways, even if he is older and my father, he still knows it's my home. I'm not going to give him crap about smoking inside his home, but, he knows how I feel about smoking in general. And, I'm lucky that he doesn't make me ask him not to smoke in my home. And, yeah, right now, I live with them. So, their rules apply.

[slleipnir]

I would never take my dog over to someone elses house. I just wouldn't, unless invited, however, this IS our cottage too. Zeke always goes inside here.

Plus, my aunt lets her friends dog come in

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by slleipnir
I would never take my dog over to someone elses house. I just wouldn't, unless invited, however, this IS our cottage too. Zeke always goes inside here.

Plus, my aunt lets her friends dog come in

That puts a different spin on the situation for sure. Is the other dog really small or something? It sounds like you didn't like them anyway, though, right, maybe it's something to do with the relationship you have with them, and, not so much the dog? I don't know, i'm grasping at straws here. Have you ever asked why she lets one dog in and not Zeke? Does she maybe only let the other dog in when she's not around?

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by jennifert9
I was always raised that when guests come to your home, they are supposed to be made to feel welcome.


See, this is something I feel many different ways about and something that "hits very close to home" at the moment.

While I LOVE the fact that people feel comfortable in our home, there's certain things a guest should have to go by when in our home. My parent's don't smoke in our home, therefore or guests shouldn't. My parents are big neat freaks. While they usually let my room get messy (not happily) they hate when people leave garbage around the house. They would never say anything to someone, but I think it'd be respectful for a guest to clean up after themselves no matter what they'd do in their own home.

I think it's just common courtesy for someone to go by your house rules while they're here.

And I think that's what makes things fun when visiting other's homes. My friend Zographia's family is very highly religious. Whenever I go to dinner there, they always say a prayer beforehand. While i'm not religous, I go along with their "rules" as a whole different feeling. I like experienceing different cultures and such.


It's interesting to see everyone's different viewpoints on guests. :)




As far as them not letting Zeke in but another dog.... well that there would make my final decision. :(
Zeke was a good boy when he was here so I don't see why they wouldn't allow him.

[anna_66]

Well I can say that I understand them wanting him outside while they ate.
Alot of people I know don't allow the dogs in while they are eating (of course not us;)) and if we have people over we usually put the dogs in the back yard out of respect. Of course this is my dogs home and they don't really mind.

I see how Zeke would be upset since that's not his home. It was good of you to go out with him, I probably would have done the same thing if it were me.

Guess what I'm saying is unfortunately they are the adults:rolleyes:

[king2005]

Poor u & Zeke.

Zeke was so well behaved in my dads house I don't see him as a problem dog at all. Not even when Buttons was trying to kill Zeke. Zeke was a very good boy!



My aunt is VERY scared of dogs (took her a while to get use to Buttons, but its hard to be scared of 5 pounds). Several years go, we traveled about 2000km to come to the island. We stopped in Dartmouht to see my Aunt & Uncle.

My Aunt was scared of him. but she was VERY polite about it. We had to keep him outside in the backyard. But my Aunt made sure he was very comfy. She gave us blankets to give to him & kept asking us is he comfy. Hes not too sad is he?

If hes sad we could tie him in the finished Basement & I just wont go down there.

She was sooo sweet & she told us how pretty he looked & he looked like a friendly dog, but couldn't go near him.


Now, my other aunt & uncle in Woodstock r a diff story.
That aunt HATES dogs. She was terribly rude. All we hard for the first 30 mins was. TED! ITS ATTACKING THE KIDS! WATCHOUT HE BITES! KIDS GET AWAY FROM THAT DIRTY MUTT! & lots more.

After that 30 mins my uncle was fed up with her BS & told her off!!! OMG it was funny!. He said BEV SHUT *** **** UP & STAY IN THE **** HOUSE!

HAHAHA! It took him a lot of guts to say that to her, but enough was enough. The dog was harmless & the kids loved him.

As revenge my uncle wanted me to bring the dog in the house hehehe.. but my dad said no, we don't need her tossing things at him. My uncle just laughed & said it would teach her. hehehe

I haven't seen them in about 10 years. She wont let us back over hehehe Not like I want to go back & see her. Shes even mean/rude to my 80yr old grandmother & her 5 pound dog. Even if Buttons did bite someone all ur going to get is gummed, heheheh.. He only has 4 teeth left hehehe

[slleipnir]

My aunts friends dog is a big lab. My dad didn't want to get into it with her, so we never bothered asking.

I understand some people don't like dogs being inside, but Zeke is an indoor dog. He goes out to pee, then comes inside basically (unless we're outside with him) so if he's left outside by himself, he thinks he's being punished. He just doesn't understand. I was going to put Zeke far enough away so that he wouldn't beg or be in the way. He's a very good dog, if I tell him to stay, he will. If I tell him not to beg he won't.

I to think people should be welcome as guest, but to a degree. I wouldn't stop someone from smoking in my house, but I really wouldn't like it. I may ask them to go outside, but I don't know. I would never go to someone elses place and just do whatever. I always treat it as someone elses place. I clean up my mess etc.

I like my aunt and uncle, but I'm not really close. We're very different people. I don't think it's a big loss for me or them if I don't go out anymore. If I was very close to them, I just wouldn't take Zeke. My dad agree's totally with me, and he said he understands that I ate outside (I told him I was going to, he said ok) and he says he understands why I don't want to go out anymore. He says it's my choice, and he's fine either way

[cali]

I can only picture how that would go over with my dogs lol lets see Misty would be screeching at the top of her lungs for hours on end, and Happy would stay nicley outside but eventually she would get bored and start barking for something to do. I seriously doubt they would be willing to put up with Mistys screeching persnally, its enugh to deafen you lol