Open for discussion

[MsMini]

Hey. I am fairly new to this forum.I am also a huge dog lover. I have two myself.I was referred to this forum, and thought "why not?"A place I can go to talk dogs.As I posted a thread , I had a few warm welcomes.And that was it.I realised that there are "clicks" and if you don't fit. Oh well.Some people post and don't get a single reply. I know it is quite a diverse group.But what do we all have in common?? Our dogs, no matter what breed, what size, how well behaved they are , how smart they are, it shouldn't matter.It is all in fun. I wonder if this POST will prove my point.hmmmmm
:cool:

[Vette]

Hello there. :D

What breed are your two dogs and how old?
i have a Toy Poodle 8 and a half pounds of fuz and hes almost 7 years old.

i post here alot. at first was wondering if anyone ever noticed me.. but i learned it helps to post in other peoples threads,, and in turn they get a little familiar with ya,, and they will post in yours. :) sometimes it just takes a while for people to warm up to new comers.

dont give up yet,, it does take a while for even 'you' to get familiar with everyone. :D i still dont know everyone by name or pets yet. :o so just hang in there okay?

and your right. it doesnt matter what other people think,, or how many replies you get in a thread. what mattters is that you love your pet/s.. and that is what we all have in common here on Pet Talk. :)

and welcome to Pet Talk!

[BitsyNaceyDog]

Yea, I see that too to some extent.
I often read a lot of threads but don't comment on them. I probably post on half the threads I read at most. Often times someone else has already said what I was thinking so I move on without posting. I don't say to myself "theirs a thread by so-and-so, I don't want to bother posting there, oh and here is a thread by my friend, I think I'll post there." I read and then post where I have something to say.

[K9soul]

Hi MsMini and a belated welcome to Pet Talk! Please forgive me if I missed your introductory post, I've had a tough time keeping up here for awhile! Pet Talk is very big and more people joining all the time, which I think is great, but it gets very hard to keep up!

I would think of it like this:

You walk into a very crowded gathering of people, and many are standing in various groups chatting familiarly with each other. As you walk by, they may smile and nod at you, maybe say hello if you make eye contact, but most won't do a lot more than that at first because they don't know you at all yet while the person they are having a discussion with they have come to know and have talked with for a year, perhaps 2, maybe even more, so they have a lot to say, a lot to discuss.

It's not a perfect analogy but I hope that helps a bit. Until people know more about you and your pups, until they see your name a lot and answer questions and comments you have made, they simply haven't thought of much to talk about with you. I know it may appear cliquey, and there are definite circles of friends that have formed over time, but it is simply a natural thing to gravitate in discussion to those you are more familiar with. My experience has been you just have to keep trying. The more you say and talk about yourself, the more interest and conversation you will spark. In any situation in which I have been new, whether it be a new student at school, a new employee at a job, or new to a message board, it takes time to develop rapport and friendships with people. On a board like this one with so very many members, you can spend literally hours trying to keep up with all the posts. Thus, when people have only 5 minutes to spare, they may just go specifically to posts of those people they know in order to answer them.

As Vette advised, the very best way to get people to know you is to spend time in their posts, commenting on pictures, asking questions about their pups perhaps, and even telling of experiences with your own pets. It's never easy feeling like a new person or an outsider, but everyone has to start out that way and in a community this large, it will take some time to get to be known, but once you do the reward of many wonderful friendships is well worth it! I sure hope this helps, and I do hope that you will soon feel more welcome and a part of Pet Talk :)

[ParNone]

Hi MsMini!

I've found over the years of posting at message boards that what works for me is to post for myself and don't worry about responses. I've written stuff or made videos that I got such kick out of it. Just chuckling to myself over them and those might not get very many responses.

Then I've done other posts that I thought were eh, and got a truck load of responses. You just never know what's going to connect with people, but if you have fun in what you're writing or creating, then you'll never be disappointed.

Par...

[Kfamr]

I remember posting in your welcoming thread and it recieving a large amount of welcomes.

I also notice you only have a few posts here, and a lot of the time it takes replying to others and commenting nicely to them to recieve the same respect. I've noticed a lot of the time the people who don't reply often and get in group discussions and such are the same ones who have said something along the same lines you have here.

I don't believe it mattered to anyone here what breed, size, trainability, ect. someone's dog is.

[LorraineO]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I remember posting in your welcoming thread and it recieving a large amount of welcomes.

I also notice you only have a few posts here, and a lot of the time it takes replying to others and commenting nicely to them to recieve the same respect.


so youre saying people have to pass an inspection and meet others approval to get the curtesy of a polite response???? Just asking is all.......

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by LorraineO
so youre saying people have to pass an inspection and meet others approval to get the curtesy of a polite response???? Just asking is all.......


I never said or meant anything close to that. :confused:

[senorita02]

Hi MsMini
i LOVE your two pooches, i sure can't forget a handsome Dobie when i see one!
Got any new pics of Nitro and Mini?

[CagneyDog]

Originally posted by LorraineO
so youre saying people have to pass an inspection and meet others approval to get the curtesy of a polite response???? Just asking is all.......

What the hell are you talking about?

MsMini,

I would love to see some pictures of your pups! I think I missed your welcome thread though!

[lizbud]

Originally posted by LorraineO
so youre saying people have to pass an inspection and meet others approval to get the curtesy of a polite response???? Just asking is all.......


You're just not going to give up on this vendetta against Kay
are you? What is wrong with you lady? Geeze.

[LorraineO]

I am just asking a question,,,,,, you see her freaking out?? I dont,, and neither am I!!

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by LorraineO
I am just asking a question,,,,,, you see her freaking out?? I dont,, and neither am I!!


I'm not freaking out because i've learned not to take anything you say to me to heart. While generally all of the things you have said to me are very upsetting and just looking for a fight, I was taught not to let ignorance hurt you. You may chop and skew everything I say, but I know what I mean.


Now please, leave me be and move on.

[LorraineO]

and here I thought i asked a viable question..... just reading what you said...

[dukedogsmom]

Lorraine, you're a year older than me so I would think you would know how to behave. Are you going to "stalk" Kay in every thread now and attack her every word? I don't know what's going on in your life right now but I know this isn't the way you normally behave. As stated in the other thread, pm Kay or ignore her if you've got such issues against her. And, Msmini, you kind of laughed with Lorraine in the other thread so I'm wondering if you started this one just to further the conversation started there?
QUOTE]Originally posted by MsMini
Hehehe Hi Lorraine. [/QUOTE]
http://www.petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=82069&perpage=15&pagenumber=4

[CagneyDog]

Don't they both live in the same province to? Im guessing their friends outside of PT,,,

[LorraineO]

oh mannnnnn.. i am NOT stalking anyone,, I merely asked a QUESTION under thread called open for discussion,, her comment merely peeked my interest,,, it sounded like we all have to post over and over to get a response,,,,, I figured it was more like a person can post for the first time and second and so on and so on and expect lots of replies,,, afterall,, theres tons of ppl in here,, no??
I wanted to know what she meant by her comment....

Yes,, msmini is a friend of mine ,, and NO she didnt start anything with or for me.... and neither am I!

[LorraineO]

Originally posted by CagneyDog
Don't they both live in the same province to? Im guessing their friends outside of PT,,,

yes,, shes a friend,, and no,, we have never met. and no she didnt start anything with or for me.... I know youre thinking that.

[CagneyDog]

Originally posted by LorraineO
. and no she didnt start anything with or for me

Actually No, I wasn't thinking this. Stop making assumptions.

[LorraineO]

just wanted to answer what I figured would have been the next thought you might have had,,,,,

[CagneyDog]

Originally posted by LorraineO
just wanted to answer what I figured would have been the next thought you might have had,,,,,


:rolleyes:

[Bigyummydog]

I found this pic. I like to associate pets with their people. I hope you don't mind me posting it.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y68/bigyummydog/snuggle.jpg

I'm thinking it could be as simple as posting more pics of your adorable pups. I for one would love to see more of them, so we could talk about them. I've appreciated all the wonderful comments you've made about MAXIMUS. I think we all would love to talk about you're babies as well.

[gini]

MsMini - welcome - sorry that your nice post got off track for a bit. These things shouldn't, but they do happen.

Just take your time here, post replies when you feel like it. Very soon people will recognize you and respond.

Please don't give up - because you will be amazed over how much you will receive from this site. Just ask one serious question about your pups - a health question perhaps, and you won't believe the sincere responses you will receive.

I have cats - but I wanted to welcome you just the same.

Please share with us more about your pups.

[Ginger's Mom]

Hi Ms.Mini are you still with us? Well, if it is responses you wanted, you certainly did get them.

This really is a good site, filled with wonderful people and dogs. I read your post initial post and had no idea how to respond. I thank Vette for starting us out with a warm welcome and greeting. You got a lot of honest and caring responses in reference to how to make the most out of this site. (Including Kfamr's, whom I believe was trying to say basically something along the lines of you get out of anything according to what you are willing to put into it. It is like that with a lot of things in life.)

I think ParNone said it well though when she indicated that you have to enjoy what you are doing. I come here for the dogs. I love the dogs on this site, they are smart and funny and beautiful. They cheer me up. The pets are the reason for this site. Come back enjoy what everyone is sharing. Please feel free to share Nitro and Mini with us, I think a lot of us did enjoy the pictures you shared of them. But remember that it is not popularity contest. It is okay if only five people say something about my little girl, because those are the five that wanted to say something. That is a lot better than 20 posts all just saying, "yeah, cute," in the hopes that I will remember them next time they post.

So look around, don't get discouraged, and feel free to post away, but do it because it is what you want to do. :)

[Suki Wingy]

Great. I come to this forum to get away from the drauma and depression of my life to walk into this.

[MsMini]

To defend myself, Yes I am friends with Lorraine..we have never met.I am also a big enough girl to form my own opinions. This post seems to have stirred up some things.Nothing wrong with a good battle of the wits sometimes.
Just to add though...
I have read and replied NICELY to others posts. I have never disrespected anyone.There seems to be some nice people here and gorgeous dogs.
And Yes those are my babies.

[finn's mom]

Hey, Ms. Mini. I post on here more for myself than anything else. I have noticed that, with some, even when I reply on a lot of their threads, I don't get much from them. Which is fine. That happens a lot in real life, too. People are just too busy a lot of the time, and, it's not really meant to be taken personally. If people don't reply because they are too busy, don't take it personally. And, if people don't reply because they don't like you, still....don't take it personally. I've learned which people not to put much effort into. It really should be all in fun. If and when you stop having fun here, it's time to move on. I've taken breaks before, because it just got to be too much. But, whatever you look at it, it's a chat forum. It doesn't have to be a life altering experience. There is a lot of truth to you get what you give, but, the exception proves the rule sometimes. ;) Anyway, that whole paragraph was complete nonsense, I'm sure, but, it was in my thoughts....so, there you have it. Welcome to Pet Talk, at any rate. :)

I sent you a PM, as well.

Kari

[bckrazy]

Suuuper cute pups!! Mini looks like she could be Nitro's baby :p I do remember you joining, and I've seen a few of your posts... I've definitely found that the more you post, the more friends you make, and the more you discover who you connect with. Everyone has different qualities and personalities, and some people do just click with others better! Whether that is the persons age group, interests, state, breed of dog, whatever... thats how everything in life is.

But I think we all love dogs, period. The more you post pictures of your dogs and share your love for them with us, we'll feel more familiar with you AND your pups. I forget what it's called........ but I learned in Psychology that the more you see and hear about some one the more you feel connected with them (generally). I have really only seen those pictures of your pups and I've only heard from you about them a few times personally, so I'm sorry that I don't recognize you right away... hopefully we can all see a lot more of them and you! ^_~

And, yes, it's best for your health that you don't get involved in some of the drama that is Pet Talk! LOL... I was just talking about this with another (anonymous) PT-er a couple days ago. Some people have some problems in their personal lives or have pet peeves or whatever, and they want to get out their frustration on these boards. Whatever, it is a public forum. My advice is that you use this just to talk about dogs, give your opinion, and make friends.. but try to be decent and fair about everything. Not to say that you should just turn your cheek if you see something that doesn't seem right to you, but we should *know* when to stop.

[flamepony12]

I agree, the more you post, the more you'll get to know people. Once you start posting more about your dogs and yourself, we'll get to know you better. I agree with Kari and Par too, At least you'll enjoy sharing the pics, even if you don't get too many replies. :)

-sigh- Erica always gives all the good advice ;)

*edit* Jeez, so does Jess! :p

[K9soul]

I just had to add a few more thoughts. I think Parnone's and Kari's (Finn's mom) responses were really well stated too. When I am sitting and debating whether or not to post a set of pictures, I usually finally end up saying to myself "Why not? I really want to and if not many respond then that's ok, but at least I enjoyed sharing them!" When I was newer here I pretty much couldn't control my exuberance about finding a place to share my pets :D. I plastered pictures and stories about them all over the place. I posted pictures of bath day, play time, outdoors time, sleepy time, and anything and everything under the sun, because I was just so caught up in the excitement of finally being able to share the lights of my life with people who felt the same as I do. I think that, without specific intentions to, I made sure that everyone at the time knew who I was and who my dogs were, and they saw and heard about us quite regularly! :D

Of course it still took time before I really felt a part of the community, and to this day there are still people whom I respond to who rarely, if ever, respond to me. While sometimes I dwell on that here and there, I try to always keep two key things in mind: One, my posts to them are not with the condition that they respond to me, they are to express my genuine enjoyment of their pictures or advice or thoughts about their problem/question, and two, if I go through life focusing on what I don't have, I will never truly appreciate what I DO have. That goes for the responses that I get rather than the ones that I don't. I treasure every one of them and hold them close to my heart, and that is where I keep my focus. :)

[Vette]

As someone K9soul said,, theres lots of people who post here.. and it gets kinda hard to keep up with everyones post. i even miss posts of people who i am kinda familar with. :o
ill go back a couple of pages like page 13 or so,, and see threads i never seen before. :o

[MsMini]

Thanks for everyones replies. It sure turned out to be much more then I expected. I usually keep to the sidelines and jump in when I feel comfortable.I will try to post more pics .

p.s...as for Lorraine,if you knew her outside of here, she is quite a remarkable woman.

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by MsMini
p.s...as for Lorraine,if you knew her outside of here, she is quite a remarkable woman.

That's a really good thing of you to say, MsMini. I'm not going to lie, though, and, say that I can see that in her posts recently. But, I'm also not going to say that I doubt her goodness in "real life", and, I just think it's nice of you to say so in such a simple, non-dramatic way. Again, I think it was a nice thing to do. :)

Oh, and you will probably get some ugly remarks based on what you said about Lorraine. I hope I'm wrong, but, I just see it happening. :(

[Jadapit]

Originally posted by MsMini
Thanks for everyones replies. It sure turned out to be much more then I expected. I usually keep to the sidelines and jump in when I feel comfortable.I will try to post more pics .

p.s...as for Lorraine,if you knew her outside of here, she is quite a remarkable woman.

That she is!! I agree with you there MsMini:)

[Kfamr]

While she has said some nasty and untrue things about me on here without truely knowing me, I cannot say whether or not she's as you say off of this site. However, I wish she'd show how you speak of her here.

I hope no one takes this post out of context because it's not meant to be "rude" or offensive, it's truely how I feel.
I'm not sure what i've ever done to Lorraine previously but she seems to have some sort of grudge against me - and I wish we were capable of see how "remarkable" she is.

[jesse_3]

I agree with K9soul!

A belated wlecome to PT! My name is Stephanie (Steph for short) and my furbabes name is Jesse! If ya ever need anything, someone to talk to, etc. just pm me! I hope you enjoy it here on PT!!!

[Oggyflute]

Originally posted by Vette
As someone K9soul said,, theres lots of people who post here.. and it gets kinda hard to keep up with everyones post. i even miss posts of people who i am kinda familar with. :o
ill go back a couple of pages like page 13 or so,, and see threads i never seen before. :o

Happens to me a lot. Quite often I'm doing something else and I just pop in to Pet Talk every so often for a break as such really.

One thing I always try and do, is be positive. I like this place and everyone on here. I may even disagree with people on things, and I may even post my disagreement. But essentially I come here to smile, and I can hardly do that on top of a soapbox.

You have beauiful kids, the more you post about them, the more everyone will get to know them.:)

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Hi and welcome. I am sorry you felt ignored at the beginning. I have only been here a couple a weeks myself and can honestly say that all PTers here are the kindest, friendliest lot you could "meet". Give it time and you will be as addicted to PT as the rest of us

[aly]

Originally posted by MsMini
I had a few warm welcomes.And that was it.I realised that there are "clicks" and if you don't fit. Oh well.Some people post and don't get a single reply. I know it is quite a diverse group.But what do we all have in common?? Our dogs, no matter what breed, what size, how well behaved they are , how smart they are, it shouldn't matter.It is all in fun. I wonder if this POST will prove my point.hmmmmm
:cool:

I'm not sure what you're upset about, but as you said, it is in FUN. No one should feel bad if they don't get as many replies as the next person. There are numerous possible reasons for that happening. Sometimes it is just a matter of the time of day posted. As long as you're posting for fun, it shouldn't matter.

There will always be cliques of friends in any gathering of people. Don't let it bother you, just join in the fun.

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by Oggyflute
One thing I always try and do, is be positive. I like this place and everyone on here. I may even disagree with people on things, and I may even post my disagreement. But essentially I come here to smile, and I can hardly do that on top of a soapbox.


Trev, THIS is why I love seeing a post with your name on it! :) Great thoughts! :)

[lv4dogs]

Welcome to PT!
I'm not sure if I saw or replied to your first thread, I try my best to welcome everyone and the such. But sometimes its hard. I have a busy life and the fact that I have no internet at home makes it even tougher.
As far as replying to other threads I try my best like I stated above and also because either someone else has already said what I would say or I am of no help. So I move onto another thread.
I don't search for particular people to reply to, I look for topics that are interesting or helpful or where I may be of some help.
Because I am pretty busy & have limited access to the computer unfortuantly I don't reply to pic posts or the sorts often, I'd rather spend my limited time trying to help someone or trying to learn more.

Your pups sure are cuties!

[IRescue452]

I don't really pay attention to who's posts I reply to. If its a subject I have something to say about and it hasn't already been said then I reply. I usually try to read all the new posts in the dog section and most in the cat, pet, and other sections. I don't discriminate on who I reply to but my post will have more insight if it is a pter that I "know" well because I will have more background information stored in my head to help with the reply. Say if I replied to something in dog behavior. If its a new person I might just assume they have tried nothing to fix a problem and give them tons of advice for a first time dog owners, even though they might know more about dogs than I do. If its a long time pter I might concentrate on what could be wrong with this dog and offer them more support than advice. It take time for me and others to get to know new people and their dogs. Currently their are several new members I'm trying to ge used to and sometimes the pt name even slips my mind and I'm wondering who this erson is and then it his me. So many people also sign up just to ask one question and then are never on again which can also be confusing. I don't think anybody has anything agaist you we just don't know you well enough yet to give the best replies.

[anna_66]

Well I just took a look back and seen that I'm one that never replied to your first thread. I'm truly sorry if you felt left out, but don't. Like others have already said it all depends on what you post, the time, the day and so forth.

I used to try to post to every thread but that's just literally impossible with so many people on the board. So now I try to post to what moves me at the time. I may not having something to say about a thread today, but tomorrow I will or maybe I won't have anything new to say at all so I won't post. I think it's the views that say something and not the replies. Who cares if you only get a few replies but you've gotten hundreds of views!

Anyways...welcome to the board. If those are your pups I can't wait to hear all about them and see more pictures, we definately love pictures around here:D

Anna

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Originally posted by Suki Wingy
Great. I come to this forum to get away from the drauma and depression of my life to walk into this.

Couldn't agree with you more - did get a bit heated didn't it?:eek:

[beeniesmom]

Welcome to PT. I'm sure you will make many new friends here. It just takes a little time. :)

[crsvstang]

Hi and Welcome!

I love to see other members dogs and other pets is one reason why I joined. I also like to share pictures of my dogs from time to time. I don't get so many pictures of my cat because well she isn't to crazy about the camera. I use to get upset when I didn't get much reply to my pictures, but then again I think I did, but thought it was not enough. Now I just learned to relax and have fun and not worry who responds to my pictures or not.

I think longer you are here and more you talk about your pets, the more people get to know you. And more will reply to your post.

[pipersmom]

Hi all,

If you click on the links below, you will see threads that I submitted with pictures of my "kids", which never really got much in the way of comments, replies, etc. (Thanks to those of you who did!) I have to admit, it bothered me. We all love our babies and are proud of them, otherwise we would have never found this board to begin with. My animals are like my children and if I went to a board that was all about children and submitted photos, and got only one or two replies--my feelings would be a little hurt.

I have "sworn off" this website on several occasions, but couldn't help myself but come back because I absolutely love looking at everyone else's pups, including DOTD. I try to stay away from most of the threads, except Memorials, because I get tempted to chime in and honestly, every subject seems to be so "black and white" to a lot of folks here that it's a little scary to express an opinion.

I also do not spend as much time on the boards as many of you do, because I work during the day and help with my husband's business at night and travel every other weekend to visit with my parents, who are elderly. Therefore, I can't join in as many conversations as I might like, so as to become as well known or as familiar as many of you are.

Well, I just wanted to say what I've felt compelled to say for sometime, but didn't want to get into any arguments or have anyone talk down to me.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=66161&highlight=piper

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69888&highlight=piper

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=67451&highlight=piper

[Queen of Poop]

Welcome to Pet Talk. It is a wonderful place to share about our pets. I apologize for missing your initial post. :)

[sandragonfly]

hi msmini, welcome please!

your puppies are beautiful and do hope you will share more of them and I'm sure I'll always reply to yours too! :) it's me that I just can't leave the threads with lowest posts/newcomers alone because I know how they would feel.

well, I see you're new but I still believe it's not because you're a newcomer because you're not posting nicely. me, before as a newcomer, I got more posts than what I expected and that definitely encouraged me! so I would have to say this, I disagree with people who're saying you shouldn't worry how many posts you get...because when you share, they should share too. I just don't know how to keep posting pictures/stories if I don't hear any feedbacks/thoughts. I mean what does blank messages mean to you? unwelcomed? beloved? what? they just don't always realize you could assume/feel from very (very) few posts/or nothing that your pictures didn't mattered and would get you discouraged at the most of time. we meant no harm, just saying...hey, where's the share? :)

:rolleyes: funny, (as a well-known member here) ..I posted pictures of my dog, crayola.. + about over 30 replies less than 48 hours = :eek: ..

and I posted pictures of my cats.. + less than 5 more then 48 hours = :confused: ..

so for cat side, I normally felt discouraged to share more, I just do and stopping. (now, after this being posted, people can say if I stop then I wouldn't get posts at all... but the truth was I think I've threaded cat pictures more than 20 times (that's a lot!! :p) and I always get less than 10 compared to others). you know, I'll just want to keep up with what I get too. so,..unfourantely, I'll never want to share cat pictures as much as I wanted to anymore.

so please share whenever you feel like to. it just really depend on which people sees you, what they judge about you & hope you'll get at least a few, as much as the others so you can stay here too! :) have fun.

[IRescue452]

Pipersmom and others: I've put pictures of my pets on and have gotten no replys for days. Sometimes there are so many posts that people miss the ones you have or they are pushed back to page two before anybody can comment. You can bump them up if you want. I may have felt put down if I was excited to hear peoples' comments but I can hardly blame the others. Nobody on pt is inentonally trying to hurt feelings by not leaving a comment on every post. I am quite angered that you feel greedy enough to post bad comments. I am sorry I missed your post or didn't say anthing but I've never started fighting because everybody doesn't comment on mine.

[pipersmom]

Originally posted by IRescue452
[ I am quite angered that you feel greedy enough to post bad comments. I am sorry I missed your post or didn't say anthing but I've never started fighting because everybody doesn't comment on mine. [/B]

I truly didn't mean to anger anyone and this is exactly what I mean about being afraid to express an opinion on this board. I was just trying to give a view from a different angle (my view).

I wasn't trying to be "greedy" and why am I accused of fighting. My post wasn't confrontational at all. If it seemed that way, I apologize to whomever I offended.

P.S. Thank you Gina's Ark, Inc.

[Jadapit]

Originally posted by pipersmom
I truly didn't mean to anger anyone and this is exactly what I mean about being afraid to express an opinion on this board. I was just trying to give a view from a different angle (my view).

I wasn't trying to be "greedy" and why am I accused of fighting. My post wasn't confrontational at all. If it seemed that way, I apologize to whomever I offended.

I dont think pipersmom is "greedy" at all. She loves her fur kids just like we all do she was proud to show them off as she should be. You have to admit she didn't get many replies. Her post wasn't mean or filled with anger at all!! She was just stating how she feels and she has every right to do that. I dont see her trying to start a fight with anyone period........

[crsvstang]

I don't think pipersmom was trying to start a fight either. I noticed in one of her links she had no replies at all. Now she does because her post was bumped back up but I can not see the pictures. I would love to see them.:)

[ParNone]

This turned out to be a really good discussion. I think a person's individual perspective can play a part too, because I keep wondering what's the magic number of responses you have to get to feel liked. Seems to be different for each of us. I think I average less then 10 replies a post and seriously I think I'm quite popular (okay delusion can have its benefits :)). Yet I see others that get 10 or so and feel slighted.

Granted if you're getting Zero that can be quite discouraging, but maybe you need to look at what you can do differently. I had a post a couple of days ago for a Murph video, it slipped off the 1st page with Zero replies. I was gonna just let it go off into the posting graveyard, but I felt a lil' bad for Murph, so I popped some pics of Gully and Murph onto the post and got it back up to the top of the 1st page. He got some posts then, and I went away happy, thinking, "Aw Murph aren't you the popular one". :)

I guess it's human nature, but I think we get a lil' too caught up in the numbers game. If that's important to you though, look at how you can improve your postings. Are your pictures as good as they could be? Are they capturing your dog's personality? Are you taking the time to tell lil' stories or antedotes about your dog? What's your title like? Is it catchy enough to get people to click on your thread? Look objectively at the posts of people who are getting huge numbers, what are they doing differently that's bringing people in?

I personally come here for fun though and I don't want to feel obligated to post on every thread. It's not even a realistic expectation. I reply when something grabs me and I have something to say. I can't do it any other way or I know I'll start feeling like it's a chore and won't post at all.

Par...

[K9soul]

Those are some good points Par, and I had another thing that came to mind after reading your post too. Sometimes when I post something, it'll just happen to be at a time when 10 other people post something too and sometimes my post gets knocked almost to page 2 right away. Now obviously not everyone visiting at the time will have time to read and reply to 15 new posts, so for whatever reason, whether some post title stood out to them more, whether they looked forward to seeing that particular dog, whether they just randomly picked one out of the bunch, they may reply to another post or two but not to yours and yours ends up getting knocked down.

I know that some people, and I am just as guilty as the next, sometimes only look at the most recent posts, so when one gets bumped to page 2 it has a much lesser chance of getting replied to. I personally see nothing wrong if someone wants to bump their post up and I frankly wish more people would do it more often because I hate missing things and because whenever I realize someone's posts have gotten very few replies, I feel so badly and even personally responsible if I didn't catch it until they were hurt about it. When I have limited time, I do sometimes focus on posts that have very few replies rather than ones with 3 pages of replies already. I can't always get everyone but I do my best with the time I have!

A lot of good points have been made here. Pipersmom, I have always so enjoyed your positive and touching posts in Memorial and Dog of the Day. I feel so very badly that I missed the times when you posted about your furkid. I tried to go to the links but it looks like they were deleted :(. I hope you'll reconsider sharing again at some point as I'd truly like to see and learn more about your boy. I also hope you won't be discouraged from posting by one sharp reply. With so very many people a part of the board, miscommunication and misunderstandings are bound to happen here and there. Please don't let it get you down. :)

[pipersmom]

Thanks, K9soul and ParNone. I was hoping for some positive feedback.

I did delete the threads because I didn't want people to feel as if they had to go look at them now. I didn't want to complain without having those as a reference for what I was saying.

I enjoy your kind posts too and I know that there is no way on earth that folks can reply to every thread. I just wanted to be honest and open up a little here and I did. Again, I certainly didn't mean to offend any of the folks who have been members here for so long.

That being said, I will still look at DOTD (I just can't help myself!) and the Memorials (because I know how good it feels to know there are others who understand the grief of losing a pet). However, I do not plan to subscribe to any other threads. I started thinking yesterday about how I really and truly have so many other things going on in my life (my parents and their health issues first and foremost) that I can't devote the time to truly get involved here like I would want to.

Thanks again for your kindness. There are many who post here whose warmth and caring shine through in every post.

Best wishes to everyone and their beautiful fur-babies! Take good care of them!

Thanks again for providing impartial, non-patronizing feedback Par and K9Soul. I truly appreciate it!

[anna_66]

pipersmom, I really wish you wouldn't stop posting in other parts of the board (maybe just take a break) but that is entirely up to you.

I felt compelled to say a couple of things since this seems to be a pretty good open discussion.

First...
After my Angus died, I really felt that no one liked Bon (ok not everyone is going to like a BIG drooly monster:p ) and he would never be accepted like Angus was.
But then there were a few people who told me it was through my pictures and stories that everyone learned to love my boy so much. So if I didn't post anything about him how could you all learn to love him:)

Guess my point is if you don't post much, we can't get to know you and your furkids! So post away!!!

Second...
I have to admit some of the first posts I look at is some from people I know, ones that have been on this board for quite a while or people that I have things in common with (the same type of dog...examples:
wolf_q & glacier own huskys or people with larger dogs like Bon)

So again, don't get discouraged over the amout of replies. If it falls short in a few days, by all means http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v43/anna66/bumobluebear.gif it up!

[pipersmom]

Thanks Anna. Oh my goodness, I would love to wallow around with Bon! He's adorable. All of your dogs look so happy and loved.

I wrote a poem for Angus on your memorial thread. It wasn't great, but I was so touched by your love for him I just had to write something for you.

Honestly, I'm not quitting the boards because of the lack of replies. I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me initially so I'm sure I backed off for a long while on posting; so it's my fault people haven't gotten to know my babies better.

Thanks again sweet ladies.

[sandragonfly]

mmm ok guys, maybe I sounded like I expected too much but if I was, I wouldn't be surprised with responses I got in "Fun Colorful Crayola" but I was and you can go in there and see how happy(ier) I was. :D don't everybody can have a good feeling? :)

par...magic number? mmmm, :o good question..I don't think I have one. isn't a good correspondence is all I (and most of us) want/need? some people can stand just being one-sided and post everything and gets nothing back. see, just like you, par, you wouldn't have a great obsession/butt contest if you get less than five and wouldn't be as great/fun as 10..20..30 voters. these 10s I get, probably has a half of my posts, thanking them.[/color]


posted by parnone
I reply when something grabs me and I have something to say. I can't do it any other way or I know I'll start feeling like it's a chore and won't post at all.
Par...
perfectly commented. this is the reason why I am trying my best (when I have time) and want to support, reinforce everyone here, especially newcomers as much as I could. because what it seems, here, for the most people who threaded just words with no pictures (which can be so boring for some) after some people didn't respect their pictures, used them without asking, or some very blurried photos, or most with red-eyees, not speaking english very well, or is not wise as the others or doesn't like/judge her/him for some reason tend to get very low replies. so I felt bad for them, most of the time, these threads wouldn't interest much of people. a lot people needed to be motivated by others, ya know. make a confess!! :p

honestly, "..threads being pushed back in few pages.." is full of...(zips). yes, it's true some of you have missed, that's okay but look at this site, over thousands of members...pleeenty. have you seen or thought of that a few threads that has the same numbers of viewers but has more posts than the one that gets zero post? that really bothers me. I don't think that's always the reason, also why would they want to bump twice in a row?

being in their shoes is all I'm saying...(if you'd like!) :p :)

[anna_66]

Originally posted by Gina's Ark Inc.


honestly, "..threads being pushed back in few pages.." is full of...(zips). yes, it's true some of you have missed, that's okay but look at this site, over thousands of members...pleeenty. have you seen or thought of that a few threads that has the same numbers of viewers but has more posts than the one that gets zero post? that really bothers me. I don't think that's always the reason, also why would they want to bump twice in a row?


Sorry Gina but I can't seem to make heads or tails of your post. Are you saying some of us are lying and that we don't want to post to some peoples threads?

[IRescue452]

I don't pay much attention to who's thread it is. I'll post when I have something to say. I don't avoid certain people but sometimes I avoid certain thread types. I have days where I don't feel like reading the news articles people find or sometimes I don't want to look at people's pictures but I'd rather give advice on problems. I can't say I've ever looked at the author and decided I didn't want to reply to that person though. Sometimes I'll hold my tongue if I know that it will start someting with a certain person and sometimes I'm looking to start something but I don't intentionally not post to hurt somebody. I don't think anybody reads the threads with the intention of not posting so that the author gets hurt. I like not having the obligation of replying when I'm having an off day. Its not a personal thing toward anybody.

[ParNone]

Hi Gina!

Since my picture contests are part of a business venture, then yes if I was getting only 5 entries, I would consider that an issue. I would do several things to fix it though. I'd go out and try to drum up some interest. I'd retool the contest to try and make it more exciting to increase interest. If those two things didn't work, I'd ditch the contest and come up with a new idea. If something's not working as expected you have to put out some extra effort to make it work.

Maybe since my first experience with message boards was at the Xena forum, I just have a completely different view on this stuff. In the first years of that show, that message board was just chalked full of talented and creative people. Many of whom went on to be published. One even got to write for the show. If you didn't post something creative, well written and thought out, you got ignored or worse flamed. You couldn't just slap any old thing up there, just to be posting.

So there's of course some negatives that come with that. It's a very intimidating atmosphere. But there's also a HUGE positive that came out of it too. You were challenged to rise to the occasion, to put out your best effort to be more creative. And low and behold, with each effort you get better and better. Then when somebody posts to you with kudos, it has real meaning behind it. You focus on the praise and a sense of accomplishment
of bettering yourself, not the numbers.

Fast forward to today and my posting on dog forums and I pretty much try to keep the same posting philosophy. Post when I'm inspired and post things I can be truly happy about. Personal satisfaction. If it connects with anybody else, then that is gravy. I went back and looked at the numbers for my Murph post and there was only 7 comments. I was happy as a lark with all the wonderful things said and not disappointed at all that 20 more people didn't respond. The thing I loved the best was lizbud getting my joke.:) That's one person out of how many 1000s here, but I was tinkled pink.

So in conclusion, strive for your best, don't sweat the numbers and for gosh sakes, let's have fun out there people. :)

Par...

[sandragonfly]

no way...anna! :( :(

I know you, and others above are too kind to lie and obviously you, par, jadapit, k9soul, I and more have posted in pipersmom's if we didn't miss. just that I was tired of hearing that we should be the one that need to bump up ours or post daily to keep ourselves in sight where there could have at least a post in from others.

anna, on the catside, besides getting only 4 posts in my pictured thread and I've seen my thread sitting in first page for over three days. I've seen it happened to others million times too. you said you rather posting in the threads you're comfortable with (same common, dogs, etc which is not wrong at all). I wouldn't post in ones who were rude to me. as said, par would often post in these 'grabbers'. some wouldn't care at all.

so, I just pointed that out because it's not always this why as almost everyone in here mentioned as if people defense for others. naturally non-sense for me. :)

[anna_66]

Thanks Gina for posting and explaing:)

[anna_66]

Originally posted by ParNone
Post when I'm inspired and post things I can be truly happy about. Personal satisfaction. If it connects with anybody else, then that is gravy.
EXACTLY! Couldn't have said it any better myself!

[sandragonfly]

Irescue254: it's very true to most of people here.

lol par...gotta love your humorous. :)

your words of wisdom, I understand, totally. like I said to msmini, just post when she feels like to. I agree to all of it.

and she may put in more effort/creavity but what if somebody just cannot? I just like being in their shoes, who tried their best as they post. bottom of my line, people would be much more motivated as much motivation as they get.

oh heck, I didn't started this, and actually this got me looking back at my numbers because I only remember I got discouraged for bumping it up...then I couldn't re-bump after myself over again and again. get the idea. :D I'm not complaining, just tired of putting more effort and said nothing but I'm e/sympathizing the others :) :p

[bckrazy]

hm... As far as replies go, I definitely feel for people who get hardly any replies and it hurts them. But I think the best thing to do is expect little or nothing, and you will always be pleasantly suprised to get comments :p thats how I feel about it.

I've noticed PT is soooo different from 1 year ago, in that there can be 50 posts on Dog General in ONE day! ~_~ its crazy... I usually just look at all of the threads and enjoy them,and reply when I reallyreally enjoy them or I have something profound to say (which is not often).

[jennifert9]

Just had to chime in..while I had the chance....which is an issue that needs to be talked about also!! I have been a member here since 2001 or 2 or 3, I can't remember. But my posting time is SO limited...I have to work during theday and cannot get away with chiming in to Pet Talk during work hours, unless it's lunch time! And let me tell you, I have missed MANY a lunch hours reading and writing!! ;)
Posting is a very personal thing in my opinion. When I first started here, it was easier. Less people, less posts, very easey to keep up on. The site has grown trememdously which makes me very happy and proud for Karen and Paul but at the same time, it's much harder to keep up with the "news." I remember when the "cat people" and the "dog people" were one and the same....I could keep up with everything and share my happiness, joy, disappointment, sorrow with everyone....I would still love that luxury but now I am pressed for time, the community has grown and it's hard to do all that you WANT to do......
I had to leave for a few years and when I came back, I was ECSTATIC to be remembered and missed. I have bared my SOUL here at times regardless of whether anyone posted or not...I don't post to get replies, I post to fill the "board" in on how I am, where I am in my life, what's new with me...." AND I post to share my love and affection for MY pet and for THEIR pet...
I don't think I am making my point well...what I mean is in order to get posts, write how you FEEL, about what you love, write with feeling, emotion...
Often, it also depends on the time of day that you post...sometimes people just aren't around. Noone is purposely ignored here EVER...Trust me on that. I guess my point is that this is a great loving place and people are welcome with open arms....never give up, ever....some people are just busy/away/on vaca/no computer/ It's so rarly personal....
I still am not happy with what I am trying to say....I will try again later... SEE, I have to go!!LOL!! Be right back!
Jennifer and Duncan :D

[gemini9961]

Just wanted to welcome you to Pet Talk. My furkids are in my signature. It's true that the more you post, the more people get to know you and more responses. People are not responding because they don't like you, don't think that. It takes a little time to get to know everyone, I'm still working on it myself. Post because you want to and because you want to share your pups, do it for you. :)

[pipersmom]

Thanks to all for your input and advice.

I realize that no one knows me from Adam, so therefore, I also know that no one says to themselves, "Oh, there's Pipersmom, IGNORE HER!!":D

I was just trying to convey that when you're brand new and introduce yourself and your pups, it makes you back off a little if you don't generate many "hellos" or "welcomes". At the same time, I know that all of the comments you've made about how this happens are very good possibilities "thread getting pushed to next page, bad pics, etc."

Thank you all again and gemini9961, your babies are adorable. I love looking at all of the fur kids here. They are all sweet and special.

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by pipersmom
I was just trying to convey that when you're brand new and introduce yourself and your pups, it makes you back off a little if you don't generate many "hellos" or "welcomes".

I've been reading what everyone has said, and, I think this has been a great thread. I did want to say that I've agreed with most of what you've said, Pipersmom. Even now, having been here awhile, I feel COMPLETELY ignored by certain people. It used to bother me a lot, but, not so much anymore. Sometimes, it's hard not to wonder what the heck you did, though, ya know? Cuz you know you're not on their ignore list, and, you know they're online or whatever, but, it's like you're not even there. Sometimes I'd like to have an invisible cloak, but, not really in Pet Talk. ;)

I hope to see you post sometimes, though, and, not just in Dog of the Day or the memorial. But, I understand your reasons for doing so. Anyway, just remembered this thread and wanted to add a thought or two. :)

[pitc9]

I used to start threads and/or post pictures then I would always check to see if anyone cared, and normally not too many people did. But then I realized that even if there were only a small handful of replies, the replies that I DID get were from wonderful people!

That's when I finally realized that it's not the number of replies but the content of those replies.

but I still don't start new threads :o

[pipersmom]

Thank you finn's mom and pict9. Very good points from both of you. :)

[LauraT7]

I haven't been on the board long, but have belonged to other pet boards for years.....

One thing to keep in mind is that summer just started ( school's out, etc) people tend to spend more time outside instead of inside with their computers. people's comings and goings mean they may post alot for a few days and dissappear for a week. it gets really sporadic.

This forum is also HUGE. I tend to check the three 'general' boards - Dogs, cats, and Pets general. If I took the time to check ALL the boards, I'd never leave my computer! LOL! Lots of times I read, but don't post. I think alot of members, just to keep their time here reasonable, have their own guidelines to limit their computer time. It's not that they don't like you - it's that there is just so MUCH to choose from!

I have noticed that in the 10 or 20 minutes I read - at any given time of day or night ( I'm on all hours, as i'm not working right now) a particular post can move from the top of the page to the bottom in just a few minutes. If alot of people are online, a post can roll off the page VERY fast, like an hour or less - esp if it's added late afternoon or early evening, US time. (Post at 3:30 AM in CA, and it will probably stick around until after work, east coast time!LOL!)

Everyone has different things that appeal to them. I admit, in real life, as online, I tend to remember the PETS and not their owners! This probably influences the fact that I like threads that sound like they contain 'personality stories' or photos so that I feel I get to know the pets themselves - so I don't read every thread. Descriptive titles really DO make a huge difference!

When I first joined, I felt a little left out and overwhelmed, too - and as I said, I'm an active member on other boards, too. But then I realized that I'm just ONE person in a HUGE crowd here, and it would take time and repeated posts before I started to 'connect' - or even be noticed by friends I already knew from other boards! Because there are just thousands of posts here every day, and no one can read and remember everyone!

One thing I do think helps, though - if you can - put a photo in of your pups for a siggy, as the repetition of seeing your dogs (at least for me) is much more 'memorable' than a name. ( As I said before, I tend to remember pets better than owners, and photos really help) If you don't know how to make a siggy, ( I don't!) go down to the general board - there are a couple of really NICE people there who make them for a hobby, and will make one for you. It will help people identify you, as we get to know each other.

Amanda ( MandyMoo) made mine for me, and I never talked to her before that. Everytime I see it in one of my posts, it brings a lump to my throat! She did a wonderful job and really caught the spirit of all my babies - exactly as I would have done, if I had her talent!

A belated welcome to the board - and I look forward to seeing you and your babies more!

Laura &Jon
Fizzy, Pixel, Tristan (at the bridge) and the fishies!

[finn's mom]

Originally posted by pitc9
That's when I finally realized that it's not the number of replies but the content of those replies.


Bingo. Quality, not quantity. :D

[sandragonfly]

well, one's thread wouldn't be qualified as if there's no quantity.. :D :rolleyes: :p
likely the fact, like pipersmom said, we some need generaters! period. (a little bit harsh, I know) :p like it takes two to 'generate' a friendship. parnone really liked how lizbud caught the joke, that make her smile! ;)

mmm, I've began to wonder where's msmini...are you out there still? I'll bet she's surprised with numerous of replies here! (see, it's not always because of numbers.. she'll have to read all of these opinions we bombed in with, she'll just noticed by reading all of this and a lot to think about then smile...since this is a pretty good open discussion). :)

laurat7's very right, memorabl'ier' to have your own signature and easily recoginzed by others. that's why I've kept my american cat ever since (almost 3 years now!) and just had a new avator in but it's still in! :D so, msmini, I can make one for you, just PM me the pictures.

see you soon? :)