Need help with my cat

[madeguada]

Hello friends:
I need your help once again, I was the one who wrote a post a month ago I think about an ex cat hater.
Well it is been about 2 months I am living with my cat and I need to learn few tricks from all of you to make this cat finally love me.
She almost never comes when I call her grrrrr. She keeps biting me and cutting me with her sharp nails hehhe.

I know I am not too patient with her, but I love her soo much and I always want to touch her and cares her but she hates it. She only let us to touch her face and her back, other parts of her body are completly forbiden heheh.

Can you give me any idea how to make her be a bit nicer? I have seen other cats and they treat so nice to other people, even street cats are more nice then my cat. Actually I was considering replacing her with a street cat but my husband didnt allow it hehehhe. My husband says I am treating her as a toy or pet, that she is a member of our family and I am not suposse to molest her, that if she wants to sleep I should not interupt her, but hellllloooo she is sleeping almost 20 hours in a day, how can I bond with her??????

Anyway, I have seen a bit of improve this weeks. We sleep with the door open and when I wake up everyday I see her sleeping in the bed. I bought her some toys but she didnt even bother to play with them, also I bought cat nip but I dont see her happy with it, ahhh and strangely she doesnt like fish. Isn`t she weird? :confused:

Last question, how can I learn I am going to have grandsons? If she is pregnant, she will be like one month, she got her matting period last January 13 and she stayed one week with her boyfriend, so assuming she is, how can I know it?

I thank you in advance,
Madeline :p

[Former User]

Patience. That's what you need and a lot of it. You can't expect her to change in few weeks, she needs time. Don't force her to do anything she doesn't like, and when she sleeps, let her sleep. Cats sleep a lot, and if you go and bother her while her sleep, she's going to be cranky, woulnd't you, when someone comes and wakes you up in the middle of your sleep?

Take your time to get to know her, sit or lay on the floor, take her toys and play with yourself or with your hubby. It may sound funny, but that's how we got our cats playing with us! We were sitting on the floor playing with their toys :rolleyes: and they got curious and slowly joined us.

What comes her being pregnant, I hope someone else can help you. Our cats are "fixed" and won't have babies.

Good luck with her and keep us posted! Welcome to Pet Talk!

[tuxluvr]

I agree on the patience comment! I always want to touch and pet and pick up Ritz more than she wants to be....although after two years, she agrees to it more :)

Someone posted on another subject a quote that was appropriate....something to the affect, if you let a cat into your life, let it come to you on it's own terms, it will be a great companion.

I also agree that playing "at their level" is useful...we sit on pillows a lot and spend a lot of time on the floor, I know it sounds silly, but I think it has helped her bond with us.

I try to work in daily "play time" with Ritz...the little fake fur mices seem to be a favorite (she even "fetches" and brings them back now)

Also, if she is pregnant, she may be a little less sociable - instinct makes them work toward finding a suitable nesting spot, one that is commonly "away" from traffic...others may have more advice on this - my experience with expecting mommycats is somewhat dated - we had Ritz altered like Kitty so she can't have kittens.

Your kitty is very lovely - I think take things slow, let her come to know you - a cat is a very discriminating creature, but once you gain her trust, she will be yours forever!

[michelene]

Madeline, your cat is really pretty. I agree 100% with Niina (Casper and Kitty) and Sandra (tatsXXX11) about patience and play. Some cats have a very low tolerance for handling but develop more over a long period of time. Speak to her several times a day and be the person who puts the food in front of her.

The first sign we had that Purrdie was pregnant was that her nipples became more prominent. Hope that helps.

[thelmalu99]

Madeguada, I know it can be frustrating when you want to cuddle that cute kitty and she won't allow it.
I agree with CasperKitty. You need to have a lot of patience and give her time. She will come around.
My Elvis used to only let him touch him on the head, ears and neck. Now he will even roll over sometimes and let me scratch his belly. He NEVER used to like this and would scratch if I tried. Some cats will never allow belly rubs, and I was so surprised when Elvis did.
Cats need time to become accustomed to you, and they will build their trust slowly. Just accept that you will have to do things on her terms, and as she becomes more comfortable with you, she will warm up and trust you more and more. Good Luck!

PS- she's absolutely gorgeous!

[madeguada]

Thanks a lot for your nice advices.
I will be more patient :) she deserves it. Actually today morning she just came to my lap and sit there for 37 minutes heheh I was soo happy. Cats are very strange somehow :) Do you think she might be maltrated in her past home? because she is like a wild cat, specially when I take her to the vet, is almost imposible for him to handle her. First I have to spend hours trying to put her in her cage to take her there, then for taking her out of it when we are in the vet is worse hehhehe.
She is supose to be an apartment cat, but she was given away to someone else because of allergy problems so she had to stay living in another house and there she was living in the garden (duhhhh) do you think this might be the reason for her attitude?
Well I apreciate all your time and help :) and Capablanca says that thanks for telling her cute :) also your cats are gorgeus :)

[yorkster]

First of all, your cat is absolutely fabulous.....beautiful!

next:
Cats are funny creatures sometimes, and they all have their own little personalities. For instance, my kitty Liza was not too affectionate- she did not want to be picked up or petted too much. She was sweet in her own way though.

Now, my other kitty, Kedi, is just a big cuddley boy- wants attention all the time, sleeps on my pillow, follows me around a lot, and kisses my ears.

I am just trying to say that all kitties have their own personalities, and therefore are all different.
It is also true, like what Casper & Kitty said, it takes time and patience.
I have to keep reminding my husband this, because he is like you: had never thought he would like cats, but has fallen in love with them, and therefore he can't leave them alone..........he is obsessed I tell him! For a long time he was trying too hard I think.

This works pretty well:
ignore them- they hate that!
Or.........get some paperwork out and start working on something, then when you least expect it, here she will come. Cats LOVE to lay all over your paperwork and bat your pens/pencils around.


:D :D :D

[madeguada]

Heheheheh
I am still laughing about what you said about your husband heheh we are same :) since I am got use to dogs and most of dogs let you do with them whatever they like I guess I am doing the same with my poor cat.
Maybe if I stay with one of her kittens (if she is pregnant) then maybe I can get what I will not get from her?

Another question my friends:
One cat is quite work for me, how can you have more than one? is it difficult or is better?

Have a great day and thanks for taking your time and reply me

A kiss from Capa to all of you
Madeline

[Former User]

Having 2 cats is much better for us. They keep each other company all the time but esp. when we're out. And they also keep each other fit by playing around. So, for us, 2 cats was natural decision, but of course it doesn't suit everyone. And some have more than 2 (I'd LOVE to have more cats, but at the moment no, hopefully later though). Sure they might be a lot of work sometimes, but they sure also give so much back to you. It's fun seeing them growing up, playing and discovering their abilities to do things.

[madeguada]

2 Questions
one for Yorkster and another one for Casper.
Yorkster: Why you named your cat Kedi? here in Turkey my inlaws always use that name as calling a cat as cat heheh. Because Kedi means cat in Turkish. But is a nice name too :) Well actually they do the same for dogs also heheh they call them Kopek, which also means dogs.

But anyway now that they have new latin blood in the family I am putting names to all of their pets hehhe.

Casper: I will really consider what you said about having 2 cats because I am long hours away from home and I am sure she gets bored :(.
So thanks a lot for the post.

[yumyum6970]

I agree about the patience part. My little Yum Yum was the same way when we first got her from the animal shelter. BUT NOW she wants ALL the ATTENTION!! She still tries to bite us a bit on our hands, but other than that she has calmed down.

Your little kitty reminds me of mine, except my Yum Yum has grey tips.

http://pepeirce.tripod.com/thekittycorner

or

http://community.webshots.com/user/ppeirce

[purrley]

Everyone seems to know the key to the kitty's heart and that of course is patience and lots of it. You will never be able to force a cat to do anything. How they feel about you is up to them. I have a Siamese who has never been affectionate, he tolerates a pat once in a while and holding him is not a pleasant experience for him or me. For all the years I've had him (5) he has never been in my lap. The best I can get is he lays along side me once in a while. He prefers the company of the other cats. Maybe he would be different if he was the only cat. He's never been hurt or abused, I've had him since he was 12 weeks old. He's a strange dude and ever so lovely, but a little snot to say the least.

[gini]

First of all, welcome to Pet Talk. I was fortunate enough to visit your wonderful country in 2000 and fell in love with it. Everyone was so nice to us and curious about Americans.

I will seem to be driving everyone's point home with a hammer, but I agree with all of the advice everyone has already given you. PATIENCE! Each cat has a very unique personality and you need to let it reveal itself. The next thing to consider is TRUST! She needs to get to know you on her terms and feel confident that you aren't going to do anything unexpected to her.
And to accomplish that it just takes time. She will let you know what she likes and ask for it.


Especially if she is pregnant, she just might be feeling a little grumpy.

My Rascal kitty was a stray that I adopted. Even though he was friendly, at first, sitting on my lap was out of the question. Today as I sit here trying to type this, I cannot keep him off my lap. But it took time and his trust to get to this point.

Good luck and please keep us posted on your beautiful little girl.

[yorkster]

Hi Madeguada.
;) I named my cat Kedi because I read in a book that it was Turkish for cat and I have wanted to go to Turkey for a long time (I would someday like to take a trip to Turkey, Greece, Egypt, and Israel........when I have money!) :D :cool:

As far as you getting another cat, I think it would be great. In most ways it would be less work I think. ;)
My two cats keep each other company when we are gone. Kedi used to be sad sometimes before we got Wylie for him.
Maybe you can keep one the kittens if she is pregnant?
Years ago my kitty had babies- the jestation (spellcheck) is aprox. 62 days, if I remember right.
It was a lot of fun having all those kittens around! There were 5 of them too!

Yes, you also sound like my husband! It's cute though, I am just glad that he loves the kitties so much.
He is always asking me things like "honey, why do the kitties ignore me when I call them.......then when I am BUSY doing something else they come and bother me?"
I always say 'that's just cats!'

:D :cool:

[wayne0214]

Madeguada, if your kitty is pregnant, usually a mom-to-be cat will snoop around the house for a few weeks looking for a safe place to have her kittens. If this is the case, I suggest that you get an inclosed box, made of cardboard or some other disposable material. It should be large enough for her to easily turn around inside. Place the box somewhere that would be acceptable to her. Sometimes they want their birthing box up high, but generally they will like to have it close to the ground, or floor, and the entrance hidden or covered (shrouded) with something. Perhaps placed inside a closet that is packed full of stuff -anywhere that she will feel safe and secluded. If she accepts the box, she will begin to re-arrange the bedding material. Cut a hole in the box just large enough for her to get inside. Be sure that the hole is not cut down to floor level, but leave enough ledge (about 7 mm) to keep her babies safe from getting outside, because of their crawling around inside the box. Line the box with something that she usually lays on, and do not put too much bedding inside, because they can loose a kitten in too much cloth. I have found a cut-to-size old rug or thick towel works the best. I have also found with my queens, in the past, that they will often accept a suitable place of your choosing, if the box is ready and meets their specifications, in seclusion, and accessability. Talk to her about her "box". When mentioning that word to her, she will often look in the direction of the box. This is one way to let you know that she understands what you are talking about.

.......wayne

[madeguada]

thanks a lot for that long post, it was wonderfull help for me :) :)
I will do everything you said, now I will start looking for a box.
I thank you a lot .
How many cats you have?

[lynnestankard]

Everything Wayne said is just spot on. Just a little note to say when she's had her babies - don't interfer with her too much or handle her babies until she wants you to - it can make the queen very upset. Good luck. :)

Lynne

[wayne0214]

Madeguada. I have about 18 furbabies, Some of them stay in the house most of the time. (These are the ones that I usually post about. Snow Cat, Snow Tiger, Jumper, Fawn, Bluzette, Cookie Cat, Orphan, Fluffy) Some are indoor/outdoor ,and there are a few who want to stay outdoors.

.........wayne

[yorkster]

Madeguada- My cat Liza (10 years ago) had 5 kittens. She was a stray who was preggers when we got her.
I made up a box for her in a spare room to keep our other cat and 2 dogs away from her and her babies. She seemed to just LOVE this box. :)
The day her kittens were born, she decided to have them somewhere else: we had an old sofa with a sheet over it in that room, and she went under this sheet. :rolleyes: When I came home, I could tell she had had her kittens, but could not find them for awhile. You could not tell there was anything under there at all, since the sheet did not look disturbed at all.
I looked all over the house and found nothing. I was getting SCARED. :eek: Finally I thought to look there, and there were 5 little kittens!
I moved them back to the box, and she moved them back. This happened about 3-4 times. I eventually figured out that she liked the 'cover' up there, so I made a small one for her box. :)
She was happy then.

One thing the vet told me to do was to set-up her box quite awhile before she had her kittens so that she gets used to it.

Good luck to you and your new family! ;)

[TheAntiPam]

Wow, pet lovers from around the world helping each other! What a treat! I love this aspect of PetTalk! :cool:

Good luck with your cat - they will bring you so much wonder and love if you give them a chance. You are doing a good job at learning and understanding your cat! In a few weeks or months you will be giving advice to others!

[yumyum6970]

Wayne-

Did I read right that you had 18 babes??? I can't believe that!! :)
I have a hard enough time with two babes but wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
But getting one other cat did help Yum Yum break some of her habits. :)

http://pepeirce.tripod.com/thekittycorner

[wayne0214]

yumyum6970: Yes, and the most amazing thing is that, for the most part, they all get along with each other. :) I know that sounds like a huge family, but really , they aren't much more trouble as, say 4 or 5 furkids. The major expense is feeding all of them. But to me they are worth it. they offer much companionship with "scratchies and huggies" especially with Jumper, my (Abyssinain-mix) kitten.:D

.....wayne

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

I used to have a cat who HATED EVERYTHING. My mother and I believed she was abused as a kitten seing how she was found half dead and starved by a mailbox. Our vet seemed to think different and said it was her type of breed. Anyway Callie never cheered up the whole time she lived with us. She growled LOUD like a dog. If I ever ran through the house like to answer the phone in another room she would chase me and bite my ankles to let me know she didn't approve. But if I was ever feeling sad and crying she would always come sit by my side and tolerate me petting her (wich for her was a miracle). But I think those times made it more special (getting to pet her). Callie never changed but I know she loved me and appreciated her happy home. If your kitty never changes just know all kitties are different and SPECIAL IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!! AND ABOVE ALL, ALL KITTIES DESERVE A HAPPY HOME! But good luck with her, I hope she does a complete turn around to 100% love bug.