Prayers...I need something... :(

[NoahsMommy]

OMG...I'm in shock.

I'm home sick today. I caught the same cold my parents caught from the cruise. When I'm sick that way, my crohn's seems to act up.

I just got a call from my boss. I was napping, but made sure to answer it. You all know I'm a hard worker and try my best to do whatever I can when I'm ill...I make up the work, the hours as soon as I'm able to. I go in on weekends, work from home, etc.

My boss told me that my illness, thus, my absences, is becoming a problem for her. :(

What am I going to do?? I can't help it!! I can't get better and I've tried everything.

This isn't fair. What am I going to do?? I need my full-time job.

I'm sick of this. Its not my fault I'm sick. I try EVERYTHING to get well...I see my doctors, I take my meds. What else is there??

She mentioned disability, but that's so hard to get on. And, it would NEVER make my rent. I need to be able to live on my own...for my sanity and ultimately, my health. I can't go back home...my parents wouldn't allow me to have my cats.

Ugh...I'm so upset. I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to her...I just said that I'd see her tomorrow.

Isn't, like, that illegal for her to say that to me? I mean, I completely understand that if I'm not there, thats work not getting done, but still, isn't it against the law?

I'm getting mad at God now...and I know that isn't right. But, what else can I do that I haven't done? I'm a good person...I do right. I love everyone. What have I done to deserve this? I've already been through so much and I try to stay strong and positive, but now I feel like my life is falling apart on me.

[catnapper]

{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I don't know what to say, but this definately would be ilegal for her - I'd thnk that your disease falls under the ADA standards (Americans with Disabilities Act) which protects people from loosing their job if they are out for extended periods for illness.

[chocolatepuppy]

Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear this. :( When you go back to work you can talk face to face with your boss. Maybe there is some solution the two of you can work out. You are such a nice person Kelly and no matter what you will work things out! Try not to worry too much about something that hasn't happened yet. (I know I do that) {hugs}

[Lady's Human]

Next time you discuss your ilness with her remind her that you are protected by the ADA and any action taken against you regarding your absences will be immediately brought to the labor board.

[lvpets2002]

:( I am so mad at your boss & maybe your boss needs a illness && but hey cheer up & note all your cute babies && when one door closed another better one will open up..:) :cool:

[NoahsMommy]

thanks guys

I left a message for my doctor. I'm going to see if he can prescribe me darvocet to take daily so that I wont have as much pain.

I need this job...and a paycheck.

I'm just really disapointed in my boss. I thought she understood and was willing to work with me. I don't go to work when I truly am sick....normally, I'll drag myself in.

:(

[Freckles]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
I just got a call from my boss. I was napping, but made sure to answer it. You all know I'm a hard worker and try my best to do whatever I can when I'm ill...I make up the work, the hours as soon as I'm able to. I go in on weekends, work from home, etc.

My boss told me that my illness, thus, my absences, is becoming a problem for her. :(

What am I going to do?? This isn't fair. What am I going to do?? I need my full-time job. I'm sick of this. Its not my fault I'm sick. I try EVERYTHING to get well...I see my doctors, I take my meds. What else is there??
Ugh...I'm so upset. I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to her...I just said that I'd see her tomorrow.

Isn't, like, that illegal for her to say that to me? I mean, I completely understand that if I'm not there, thats work not getting done, but still, isn't it against the law?


I don't have the answer, but I'm going to ask a few questions for those who can provide an answer:

How long have you worked there?
What does your employee handbook say?
Are you salaried (monthly) or hourly employee?
Generally, what type of work do you do? (talk to customers, need to be there during business hours, work on your own, etc.)
Have you received a letter regarding this from boss or HR dept?

I terminated one employee who had worked in the dept. less than 6 months so was on probation.
Another one had worked longer, had health related issues but selective when sick (Mondays, Fridays off).

I'm not unsympathetic, but as you can tell, I've been on the other side of the problem.

[NoahsMommy]

How long have you worked there? 7 months

What does your employee handbook say? we don't have one, its a very small company

Are you salaried (monthly) or hourly employee? I'm hourly

Generally, what type of work do you do? (talk to customers, need to be there during business hours, work on your own, etc.) I talk to customers, but am going to start doing our website, fliers, etc. Work that CAN be done at odd times. I'm the office manager, so I'm aware that I DO need to be there. I WANT to be there, I LOVE my job...I wish more than anything that I wasn't sick and COULD be there every day.

Have you received a letter regarding this from boss or HR dept? No, this was over the phone, about an hour ago.

[ramanth]

Kelly, I'm so sorry.

Is there a chance she was having a bad day and unfairly took it out on you?

*HUGS*

I hope the doctor will have some solution.

[wolflady]

Gosh, I'm sorry to read about this Kelly. You have been doing everything you can to get well! I know that you're so sick and tired of being sick. **hugs** :( There just has to be a treatment that will work for your Crohn's...even if it ultimately is surgery.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Oh, I forgot to mention...I gave your email address to "the HEADS" to pass along to their SIL who has Crohn's. Perhaps she will have some insight for you.

**hugs**

[Logan]

Kelly, I am playing devil's advocate at this point, but if you reported that you had a cold, I can see where your employer would be upset. A cold doesn't keep people home from work, normally. If a cold causes further reactions and problems associated with your Crohn's Disease, then you need to make sure that your boss understands this. A cold is a simple nuisance to some people, but to someone with a compromised immune system, it could be a worse problem. If that is your case, then you need to make sure she knows that. I know that your presence in the office is of the utmost importance if you're the office manager. I guess your previous hospitalization, plus your recent vacation probably has her on edge.

I hope you can return to work tomorrow and then work it all out with her. Best of luck.

Logan

[luvofallhorses]

Kelly,

I am so sorry :( I would have a word with your boss about this and try to make it work somehow. This really isn't fair to you at all :( I wish you best of luck in the world and you'll be in my prayers. (((((hugs)))))))

[NoahsMommy]

Ugh...I'm sorry, I'm frustrated and mad. :(

I'm on three immunosupressant drugs. If I get a cold, I get it BAD! That is why I'm unable to work today. I'd probably get pulled over if I even attempted driving to work. I'm dizzy, hot, headachy, cannot breath, can't stop sneezing and blowing my nose.

When I get sick, my pain gets worse.

I'm freaking sick of trying everything I can do and still get more shit from every side.

I'm ready to be well. I've put my time in and can't lose my job because of this stupid illness.

I already feel bad as it is that she has a "defective" employee. I feel so bad...

[luvofallhorses]

Miagi says he is praying for you, too! :)

[Logan]

Somehow, some way, you need to be able to get in front of this woman, make sure she understands your illness, but at the same time, she needs to understand how you can make up for it from home, when you must be home. I know it is a struggle for you, but surely somehow you can make it work, Kelly. I think the key is to prove that you have it under control, whether you are there or not, even if it means you have an employee checking in with you daily when you aren't able to be there. Something. Anything. Your disease is dibilitating as has been proven by so many others. But there is still a need to make money and prosper.

Hang in there and know that there are many, many prayers to OUR God for you. Don't give up and don't lose your faith over this. There are reasons this is happening. We just don't understand right now.

Love you.
Logan

[NoahsMommy]

awww, thanks, Krisa. :)

OK, I'm calming down a bit.

Logan, you are right. She needs to know my "cold" isn't just a normal cold. With the medications I'm on, my body cannot fight infection/virus. She needs to know that.

I'll talk to her tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers.

[sandragonfly]

sorry about that...

I went through the same..and got fired as well. ADA/EEOC is with me on this...yes, helps, but it would just make your days more miserable. more questions, stress, time, and whole progress to deal with. so hope it'll be better once you have a frim face to face conversation with your boss! your boss shouldn't give up on you if she understands you/your chron's. ...but - what goes around, comes around!! ;) ..:(

uh, what I'd like you to do is try and call EEOC (http://www.eeoc.gov/) - (equal employment opportunity commission) only if you need to know your rights better. they would let you question them first, they helped me understand my rights more. (I couldn't find your EEOC phone number but try this - 415-625-5630 and ask for yours or that's for everyone, not sure.)

seems darvocet's the only hopeful option right now, just told your five cats to cross their paws..so that's six..oh wait, 20 + 2 of mine = 22! wow, that's a lot fuzzy vibes you have! :) will be thinking of you..

hugs,
gina

[Randi]

Kelly, I'm so sorry you got that call. :( Your boss could at least have waited and have a chat with you face to face. I certainly understand you're dissapointed! However, if you explain the nature of your illness and let her know that you'll do all you can to make up for the lost time, she really ought to understand your situation!

I know you've been doing everything you can to cope with this for a long time, and you really need a break!! Hopefully, she'll understand.

Lots of hugs from me, and sweet purrs from Fister! :)

Be strong! Best of luck!!

[wolf_Q]

Sorry you're having troubles with work, Kelly. I'm sure they don't fully understand your condition and how it prevents you from working at times. I hope you'll be able to work things out.

[sirrahbed]

((((Kelly))) someone else already said this - but could it be your boss is just having a bad time right now??? She is also your friend right?? Could be she is venting with you on this. She may be crabby about your vacation, etc. I would TRY and get a little calmer and talk with her. She must know you are a good employee and about your illness right?? Maybe try talking with her. OK???
more (((((HUGS))))

[NoahsMommy]

I'm going to try and talk with her tomorrow. I don't think she'll be in during the day, but at least I'll be there to work a full day.

I've been resting up and drinking lots of water. I took my vitamins today too. I'm trying hard to do everything I can to get well.

I'll talk to my doctor tomorrow as well. Maybe he has some ideas on how to keep me at work.

Thanks for the advice, guys. She may be having a bad day, I don't know. She gets a little huffy sometimes, when she's overwhelmed. I just have to try, that's all I can do, right?

[slick]

Kelly...
I'm so very, very sorry that you are going through more stress. At a time like this, after moving into your own home, you should be jumping for joy and your health should be improving.

I'm sure that if you two could sit down, maybe over lunch or coffee away from the office, and explain everything that happens to you when you get sick, she would understand better. I know that I am very ignorant when it comes to your illness and all I know is what you've been posting here. As always, you are in my prayers every day and you know that I'm just a phone call away. Email me and I'll be on the blower in no time.

Big {{{hugs}}}
slick xo

[sandragonfly]

hmm just checking in...maybe my advice's a little early haha.

just because as a friend, shouldn't vent on you like this at all, maybe it's just me..owhelly but good luck!!

[dukedogsmom]

I can't imagine how you feel. I know how miserable I was with just my lower back problems. I hope you can make your employer understand how you are affected by colds. Maybe you can find some pamphlets with information about it? I don't know if you can be fired or not, seeing as you haven't been working there a long time. You will need to check into that. I hope your doctor can have some good news for you soon. And, here's a cute pic of Duke to cheer you up.
http://www.boomspeed.com/dukedogsmom/061305_1.jpg

[K9soul]

Kelly, I'm just at a loss as to what advice I would offer you in your situation, but perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to consult with a lawyer that handles these types of things and just ask what legal action you might be able to take to protect yourself should you need it.

I wish I could offer more, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs)) to you

[CamCamPup33]

Im sorry that you're going through this.. :(

Thoughts for you are on the way..

[Daisy and Delilah]

I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you're having to go thru this Kelly. You are truly a sweetheart of a person and always so compassionate and loving to everyone here at PT. I knew a guy at my job that had a similar problem such as yours. This is what he had to do: you're entitled to 12 weeks a year(I think it's yearly) of FMLA(Family Medical Leave Act). This is the law. He went to his doctor and got the proper FMLA paperwork filled out, showing that he had problems with his health frequently. In your case(as in his) you can take days off, for health reasons, that are classified as "Intermittent FMLA days. Your employer can not fire you for this. They must hold your job. In some cases, your employer can turn you down for certain types of illnesses if they feel they aren't serious enough and don't warrant leave time from work. In your case, I don't see this happening. You have a serious disease that is easily aggravated by many other conditions. You are in a true vicious circle in that aspect and it's totally beyond your control. Intermittently being off work doesn't pay the bills but it will protect your job. This is a possible alternative to total disability. Your boss should have the forms at your job site. Good luck sweetie.
Terry(Daisy and Delilah's Mom)

[NoahsMommy]

Thank you so much, Terry! I'll look into FMLA.

Hugs, Kelly :)

[shais_mom]

I have no advice but want to offer you my thoughts, prayers and well wishes....

[krazyaboutkatz]

Originally posted by wolf_Q
Sorry you're having troubles with work, Kelly. I'm sure they don't fully understand your condition and how it prevents you from working at times. I hope you'll be able to work things out. Ditto. I'm so sorry that you're now having to deal with this kind of stress too. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[gini]

Kelly, because my friend has the same problem I can fully understand what happens to you.

He and his wife stayed with me for about a week and he could only be "up" and around for a few hours. Then he would just have to lay down.

A funny story about that. I gave them my bedroom. I usually don't do that - but knowing his condition, I just wanted him to be very comfortable and have some privacy.

This was before Annie and Emma moved in with me too.

He closed both doors to my bedroom and went to bed. What neither of us knew is that he had closed Rascal in the room with him.

Rascal, sensing something wasn't right and he might need
some comforting - came out from under the bed and jumped right on his stomach. It scared the daylights out of him. He "wasn't"
particularly fond of cats - but just could not resist the charms of Rascal.

Now - whenever I talk to them - they always ask about Rascal his personal nurse.

I just pray that you can communicate all that you go through to your boss and that she will understand and make some allowances for you.

I will pray that all will work out for you.

Big hugs to you in the meantime.................Gini

[Oggyflute]

Best thoughts and wishes to you Kelly. Hang in there mate, listen to the good people on here, they have good advice.

[Nomilynn]

Kelly,

You are in my thoughts sweetie, as always :)

*HUGS*

Naomi

[RobiLee]

Thinking about you and sending big hugs!

{{{KELLY}}}

Robin :)

[neko1]

I'm so sorry to hear of all this happening. My prayers are with you.

[Pam]

Kelly you will be in my prayers. I can't imagine the mental pressure you must be feeling right now in addition to the physical pain. The others have given you some good advice and I will be following this to see how it goes. (((hugs))) My boss let one of my co-workers "go" several years ago. She was asthmatic and missed a lot of work. She had threatened to sue but never followed up. I now have a co-worker who suffers from lupus and also misses quite a bit of time (on top of that she had a double mastectomy in 2001) and the boss has already spoken to her about her absences. It is a horrible situation to be in when your mind and heart are willing to work and your body is not. As Logan said, please do not give up on God or let this shake your faith. I know that sometimes He appears far away but He is with us in the midst of our darkest times. (((hugs)))

[smokey the elder]

I'm so sorry about this. The last thing you need is your boss all in your face about your illness. The other folks have provided advice; I'll provide some prayers and cyber {{hugz}} and remote control head bumpies from my kitties.

[moosmom]

Kelly,

Is there anyway you can go on long term disability?? When I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown after my Dad passed away, I went on disability from work, on the orders of my doctor. He told me it was that or get put in a hopsital. Your employer is required by law to hold your job for a certain period of time. When you return, they have to find you a job that is equal in pay and responsibilities.

The law, from what I understand, says that employers are required by law to make "accommodations" for people with certain limitations (your Crohn's disease is a limitation and/or disability; mine was my depression).

I'd call a labor lawyer. I'd ALSO let Human Resources at work know exactly what your boss said, and document every single word of it.

There are laws that protect people with "limitations" (I hate calling them disabilities) and you definitely fit into that category.

I know how difficult this has been for you, honey. And I understand your frustration, as I've been there. Hang in there. It'll all work out in the end. I'll call you tonight! ;)

LOVE AND (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Donna

[anna_66]

Kelly I'm really sorry to hear about this and really hope there is something you can do.

{{{HUGS}}} & Prayers
Anna

[sasvermont]

Although I am not an owner, I am responsible for the hiring and firing of the staff here at our medium sized law firm in Vermont.

It is difficult, if not impossible, to run a business, not knowing who will be in to work. It is nothing personal. Employers do not hire based on employees' needs but on their needs to keep everyone paid and keep the business running.

My take on special needs:

Find a job that is flexible (work at home or odd hours) and that job might just be a part-time job, or two part-time jobs, allowing you time to relax between situations and appointments to the Dr.

Apply for some sort of assistance either with social security or the insurance coverage at work, assuming you qualify.

The topic is a sensitive one and yes, employers have an obligation to employees with special needs, but each situation is specific and not knowing your needs and entire story, it would be hard to say who owes whom an explanation.

Kelly, I feel sorry for you and if you can, sit down with your employer and brain storm about how you can work with them/him/her and still keep your job. Honesty is usually the best policy unless you are working for the wrong place to begin with.

Good luck.

SAS

[moosmom]

Great advice, SAS!!

[lizbud]

I hope you are at work today & having a good talk with your
boss about this problem. I had a series of medical problems
that lasted six months and also threatened my job.(I was buying
my house at the time) I won't go into details right now, as you may have already worked this out with your employer. I really
hope so, You certainly don't need more stress right now. I do
however agree with SAS's comments and hope & pray you can
get this situation worked out fairly. Best of luck with this. Liz.

[NoahsMommy]

Hey guys,

I'm at work and wanted to check in real quick before I get busy.

My boss is out ill today....ironic, huh? OK, I'm back...she's sick like, every other week! She works with children and thus, catches all their colds. You'd think she be a little more understanding. Oh well...that's not productive or nice...so nevermind.

My guess is I wont see or talk to her today, so I'll try tomorrow. I got in early and am feeling a lot better today.

I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks for the support and advice. Its all good!

Hugs,
Kelly

[shais_mom]

Footprints in the Sand
by Mary Stevenson

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the
sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he
noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one
belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When
the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that
once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all
the way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You."

I know it's hard but try to remember this lovie.....

[thelmalu99]

Hi Noah's Mommy,
I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I hope your boss is sitting at home sick today, realizing how unfair she was to you yesterday.
When I still worked at my last job, I remember one time I caught a nasty little stomach bug and absolutely had to call in sick. Well, my boss called me back and told me that they were busy and short-staffed and I had to come in. "Pick yourself up and come in" were her exact words. I was floored. Meanwhile, she used to call in all the time, claiming that she had "stress". How do you like that?

I'm sending positive thoughts your way and hoping she realizes she's wrong.

{{{hugs}}}

[ramanth]

Originally posted by thelmalu99
When I still worked at my last job, I remember one time I caught a nasty little stomach bug and absolutely had to call in sick. Well, my boss called me back and told me that they were busy and short-staffed and I had to come in. "Pick yourself up and come in" were her exact words.

Something like that happened to my sister. She had a horrible stomach flu and was calling in sick when her boss told her that others had called in sick before her so she HAD to come in.

My sister ended up collapsing on the job and an ambulance had to be called.

Bet the boss felt bad.

[NoahsMommy]

OMG, Thelma and Kimmy...that sounds horrible!! :(

My disease often has me feeling like that and I've dragged myself to work...working most of the day in the potty room...but there. Ugh...I feel badly for you! :eek:

I'm feeling better today. Thank goodness! :)

[thelmalu99]

I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope everything works out fine for you. Bosses can be so unreasonable sometimes!

[wolflady]

Did you get Jill's email? :)

**hugs**

[furrykidsmother]

Glad to hear that you are feeling better Kelly! I hope you are able to square things away with your boss. Maybe she just doesn't understand how badly you are affected. Odd that she is out sick today.

[lady_zana]

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better but I believe you are in the right and your boss is very wrong. I tried to find some things to help you. I hope they do help at least a little.

'Important: If your employer has been threatening to fire you, get legal advice. There are laws that protect you from being fired for certain reasons. For example, you may not be fired for filing a workers compensation claim, or in some cases, for taking time off for illness or the birth or adoption of a child. To find out your rights, call Statewide Legal Services (1-800-453-3320).' - from http://www.larcc.org/

I am young, just out of college, and am looking for my first job so I could be wrong but I don't think someone could fire you for an illness of that nature. It seems like it would only be legal to fire someone if they had an illness that might endanger the lives of the others around the office which yours would not. But, like I said, I don't truly know. Please speak to your lawyer if you have one. She can help you or refer you to someone who can.

[Cataholic]

This is not legal advice:

It is not illegal to fire someone for not being at work- regardless of the situation, unless the firing is discriminatory in nature. The boss isn't firing/threatening to fire Kelly for her disease (and, Kelly, does this qualify under the ADA or not?), but, for her absences.

She would seek an employment lawyer, not a labor lawyer (unless her workplace is unionized).

She probably doesn't qualify for FMLA, as she works for a small company, and the FMLA doesn't apply.

Disability is probably the smartest move to make.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Oops, just noticed this thread a minute ago...

Oh poor Kelly, this is NOT fair at all!! I cannot give you legal advice, as I am not familiar with the American law. But I agree with the others that your boss has to be told what caused this cold, and that you cannot help it!
Prayers for you!!

((((((((HUGS)))))))))))