Fighting Depression

[RobiLee]

Maybe I shouldn't talk about this here. I am usually a private person and don't normally talk about this subject. Trust me I am not looking for any sympathy or any answers really. I just felt like talking. I have been fighting severe depression for some time now. Actually I've been dealing with it off and on ever since I gave birth to my son. I was not aware of it at the time but now that I look back it is quite clear that that is when it started. I am at a very extreme low right now and don't feel much like doing anything at all. I don't want to leave the house or even bother to get dressed. Its awful and very debilitating. I have been off and on of antidepressants and I hate them. I just want to be normal. I know alot of it has to do with my weight right now and I just don't want to be seen. I just want to stay home and sleep and boy can i sleep. My house is a mess and I just can't seem to get it together. I am trying a new doctor right now who is in fact a homeopathic doctor. She has reveiwed my case and is going to give me some medicine that she thinks will help me out alot. I find that hard to believe. I walk around in a complete fog and sometimes wonder how I made it through the day. My own son thinks I am a loser and that is very hard to deal with. He just told me this a few hours ago. I don't even know what to say. It is true but it also hurt so much that he is so disrespectful that he feels like it is alright to talk to me this way. I suck at my job and sometimes I wonder why they even keep me there. I'm pretty sure right now that I am still there becuase there is no one to take my place. I was seriously thinking of quitting my job and had decided to do it but it turns out that my husband job is not all that secure so I have decided I better stick it out till we see what is going to happen to Alden's job. We had even ordered new windows for the house which I was so excited about. It was our first home improvement and we were looking forward to doing more stuff as time went along. New siding and a new nice porch. The next day after we ordered the windows we found out Alden's job was very insecure so we called and cancelled the windows. Thank god the company was understanding and is sending us back our down payment. I don't know why I'm telling all of this. I just feel like talking I guess. I am in a black hole and just can't see a way out. I don't expect and sympathy and I don't expect any answers. I just need to talk. Hopefully I will find my way back out into the sunlight.

Thanks for listening....Robin
__________________

[dukedogsmom]

I can't believe after all you've been through, your son was callous and called you a loser. You are anything but one! I know what you mean about the house cleaning. Mine isn't so hot, either. And, it's hard to get any done because when you think about how much you have to do, it's overwhelming. I'm a bad procrastinator, too. Kay was coming over today so I was forced to get some cleaning done. My computer room looks better but the bedroom is a nightmare. I also know what you mean about your job. The stress on mine has been getting to me. That's one of the reasons I went to nights. The atmosphere is so much nicer. However, it's way more busy so I still get tense. Have you tried any kind of counseling? I had it for a while and have been thinking about going back. That and medication makes a big difference. I hope you get to feeling better. You just need to take a big step and tell yourself you're going to have a better outlook. It's hard and I don't do it all the time, either. You've got a great husband and two gorgeous dogs. Don't let all that escape you. Cherish all the time you get with them. I know it really comes to me when I'm at the dog beach. If you have a special place you like to go, go there. I also enjoy a good latte or something at my local coffee shop. I sure wish we lived closer to each other. I had a blast with you and Anna. Maybe another visit to that store is in order??:p

[dukedogsmom]

Here's Duke and Simba getting crazy(at about 1030pm) Duke wanted to play like crazy. It was really cute. Some of my pics came out a little blurry but Kay got some good ones, too.

[RobiLee]

Val, you are so funny! I don't think you will ever forget "that store"....lol. That was a fun time.

I have been to all kinds of counseling and honestly its all the same and all stuff that I know but just can't seem to apply to myself. I don't know what has triggered the depression this time. I have finally realized that I have alot of built up anger from dealing with the cancer and the after effects from that. I mean I felt for so long while all that was going on that I had to be strong for my family so that they wouldn't fall apart. There was no time to focus on me. I did what I was told and did my best to reassure the family that I was fine. Now, after all this time I am finally angry!! Makes no sense to me. I hate what happened to me!! I feel like I have done nothing but go downhill ever since. For the rest of the family it is over for them, but for some reason I feel like I can't get back on track. I am a basket case and feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I don't know why. I can't answer any questions. All I know is that I am a mess!

[RobiLee]

Originally posted by dukedogsmom
Here's Duke and Simba getting crazy(at about 1030pm) Duke wanted to play like crazy. It was really cute. Some of my pics came out a little blurry but Kay got some good ones, too.

Duke and Simba are so cute together. Sometimes I think they must have been brothers in another life ;)

[Oggyflute]

Robin, I haven't got any answers for you, nor would I just offer sympathy, but just remember that the community here will give you help and support from all over the world.:)

[joycenalex]

robin, can i offer a cyber hug? and please know that we're here for you to 'talk' to at almost anytime? BTW, no way you're a loser. and a job is just a job, it's not your life, it's a way to get some money to have a life. ((ROBIN))

[Pam]

Robin I just wanted to say that I commend you for going for help. There are so many people who are depressed and do nothing about it. I read somewhere that men, in particular, will not seek help. I do believe that us women are more in tune with our bodies and how they work and are much quicker to fix a problem rather than live with it. My sister-in-law has suffered from depression for years. She has been on and off medications and I know how discouraging it can be to have something that is supposed to help you instead create side effects.

I am so sorry to read that your son is not more sympathetic especially in light of all that you have gone through in the past with the cancer. I do believe that those we love the most can hurt us the deepest. After all they feel completely free to talk to us more openly than they would to an outsider. I am sure he regrets his harsh words and probably wants to take them back.

Life is so hard, isn't it? Sometimes we are balancing so many things - homes, jobs, families - and it gets overwhelming. I hate to read that you are suffering like this. You are truly one of the sweetest Pet Talkers that I have ever "met." I don't really have any suggestions but I can pray and I will. (((((hugs)))))

[Logan]

Admitting that there is a problem is a huge first step, Robin. And I think we all know that you are not alone in this battle. Every time I read a post like yours I hurt for the one who has stepped up and admitted that there is a problem. I saw another one just this morning. :(

Robin, my initial thought when I read what you said about your job is that you absolutely do NOT need to quit your job. That is one thing that forces you out the door every single day. I'm no expert, but I know that you need that contact with the outside world. It forces you to get up, get dressed and leave the house.

Don't try to "fix" everything at one time. Focus on you right now and seeing this new doctor is a brilliant first step. You have been through so much in the past few years and I can remember how much I admired your strength as you went through those treatments and openly talked about being afraid, being sick, etc. I also remember the joy you expressed, constantly, when you would talk about your sweet Katie and later your excitement over Tori when Alden surprised you with her. I know you don't feel depressed when you spend time with those beautiful girls!!!! I know mine have the ability to "heal" me, too.

You have a wonderful support system in Anna and your many friends right here. Take it one step at a time and don't try to fix everything at once. That's what I finally had to tell myself. I cannot do everything for everyone, keep this house clean, keep the yard neat, take care of the pets, do my job, stay healthy, etc. I just can't! And you can't either. It's so easy to dish out advice, isn't it? Ha Ha! My mother tells me what I "ought" to do all the time. Easy for her to say when she is retired and on the outside, looking in. :rolleyes:

Please know that we are all concerned and are right here for you. Do you have a minister you could talk with? I have found that relying on my faith has helped me through some pretty dark times. Sometimes that objective listener is exactly what you need.

You will be in my prayers.
Logan

[K9soul]

Robin, I'm going to write you a PM (and it'll probably be long) talking about my dealings with depression and the things that helped. It'll probably have to wait till tonight when I'm done with work when I can really think and type for awhile without interruption. I just wanted to say right now though that you are suffering a condition as real as diabetes and it's going to take small and gradual steps to help your way through it. I find one of the worst things to do while suffering depression is constantly look at the big picture and yearn for immediate changes within yourself, and that in itself is overwhelming and gets you back down to where you feel unable to even take small steps. It's going to take small steps, little by little, an hour at a time, a day at a time, etc. and with each little accomplishment, you will find some relief. It definitely won't go away overnight, but I do think there is a definite turning point that you will recognize.

I don't know how your son is about listening or understanding, but perhaps when he makes negative statements you could simply state to him that hurtful statements only make things worse for you, and that they set you back on improving. If you can try your best to say it in a calm, unemotional way, he might respond better. I find people who are hurtful in the face of depression often feel intimidated by the emotionalism of it and the inability to fix it. Often loved ones say hurtful things like that to "snap you out of it."

Ok, I don't want to go on too much, like I said I will write you more later. Hang in there Robin, we love you!

[anna_66]

Ok, I'm sitting here crying:( You needed me at 2:41 this morning and I'm in bed...you should have called me!

Robin I know you have been struggling with this for a long time and just when it seems like your feeling a better, something turns it around and you start feeling like this again. I know there is physically nothing I can do, but as your best friend you know I'm always here for you (or if need be, there for you!).

I know when Brandon talks like that to you it makes you feel really lousy. You do so much for him (things you don't have to like let him take your car) and it makes me so mad to hear that he treats you like that.

I hope this new doctor of yours can do something/give you something to help you out of this dark time.

Now on a lighter note...boy are you going to be tired when you get home from work;) I'll talk to you tonight.

Love your best friend
Anna:)

[Christiansmommy]

Robin, you have got to be the sweetest Pettalk ever...seriously...I feel I know you through your posts, and I hope to meet you one day. It may sound funny, but even though we have never met, i think that if we did, we would be great friends. You are really a genuinely sweet sweet lady.

I am sorry to hear about your depression. I am so happy that you have come here to share it with us, though. The fact that you aren't keeping it all to yourself is a great way to help the healing process start. I know your son feels badly about what he said...I know I have said things to my parents that I wish I could take back...and I know you love your son just the same. You are a great mother and wife. Your family is very lucky to have you, and even more so, since you conquered the cancer. Praise God for that. Anyway, i will be making you a permanent addition to my prayer list. I know people who have depression problems and it is so sad to see such great people suffer the way they do...it is even more sad when they don't seek help that us outside the situation see they need so badly...so I am glad to know you have seeked help. Not sure what your faith or religion is, but in my deepest times of sadness, I find crying out, literally, to God, cry as you may...His shoulder is always there and He hears us...really, it hurts Him to see us so sad, we are His children. I am not saying this to preach to you, but you may want to try it, His loving arms are so very healing. ((((HUGS))))) to you sweet Robin. I am here whenever you need to talk...or "let it all out"...

Robyn :)

[moosmom]

RobiLee,

NO it is NOT true!!! I am appalled that your own son would speak to you that way! :mad:

Depression is a debilitating disease. People who don't have it, don't understand it. They think that it's easy to just "pick yourself up by your bootstraps". I WISH it was that easy!! I've suffered from it since I was 15 years old.

Honey, I've PM'd you with my phone numbers. Please call me. Or give me your number and I'll call you from my cellphone, it's free.

Please think about talking to your doctor about medicine. It may take a while, and experimenting with medicine, but in the long run, it'll help.

You are a wonderful person, RobiLee and we love you. Don't EVER let anyone tell you different.

((((((HUGS))))))))))))

[Jadapit]

Robin,
I'm really sorry you arent feeling like yourself. I know thats no fun.
It's a scary thing to go through. I'm sorry your son hurt you with his words. Kids can say some real cruel things sometimes. They dont think before they speak at times. I'm sure he didnt mean what he said.

You are such a sweet lady. Your posts always brighten my day. You have lots of friends here. We all care about you. I really hope the homeopathic person can help you. You will be in my thoughts.
((((((((HUGS))))))))

[PJ's Mom]

It's sad to know that a person as sweet and as caring as you is having to deal with this. You've always got a kind word for all of us here at PT and I'm sure in real life, you're just as great.

Your son had no right to talk to you the way he did. It's hard for a person who doesn't have this disease to understand it, and he may very well be scared for you. Either way, try not to let him bother you. You need to focus on yourself right now, not him.

You always have my good thoughts and prayers. I know we don't know each other very well, but I also know you will get through this and that soon, you'll see the sunshine again.

(((Hugs)))

Dawn, Peej and Bailey.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

You seem to have a lot of friends here who care so much about you - I really hope you start to feel brighter soon. I have just weaned myself of Prozac after 3 or 4 years so can understand how low you must be feeling right now, all I can say is that it will get better x x x with love

(P.S. ignore your son - ungrateful little sod, maybe one day he'll understand things a bit better!)

[robinh]

I'm struggling to say the right thing and I want so much to do that. Depression is a such tough thing to deal with. My three sisters and I have been dealing with it for years. Two of my sisters are have life-threatening diseases and we all feel the stress of their illnesses.

You've had some hard blows and come through it with a pretty good darn attitude. You are a kind, caring, compassionate woman who has faced issues that a lot of us may never see and you came through with a lot of grace and courage. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.

When my son was that age, he said some pretty harsh things too. Now that's he older and has lived a little, he's apologized for the things he said. I'm sure your son will too. It doesn't excuse him, but after listening to him I think I understand.

I hope your homeopathic doctor can help you. You have my prayers and best wishes to help you through this time.

Robin
(the other Robin)

[moosmom]

RobiLee,


Now, after all this time I am finally angry!! Makes no sense to me.

It's called suppressed anger and it's very common. My daughter had it years after she was diagnosed with brain cancer. I had it after years of therapy and coming to grips with being molested by my brother when I was 10.

I wish there was something I could do to help, Robi. Hang in there.

[aly]

Robin,

You are to be commended for opening up to everyone like that. I know it must not be easy to put your personal feelings out there for all to see. I look at you as such a brave, kind-hearted, compassionate person. Your son is wrong. There is nothing about you that is loser-ish. I am sure he doesn't mean that. I know he loves you like crazy and if he knew how much it hurt you, he probably wouldn't have said anything.

To deal with a serious disease or illness almost always involves depression. I went through a similar thing as you. When I was diagnosed with diabetes, my mom was crushed. I felt like I had to be strong for my family and act braver than I was. I eventually got to the point though where I started breaking down because I had never dealt with my feelings. I've been through some bad episodes of feeling depressed. My doctor kept trying to put me on drugs, but I refused. I think they throw those in our faces way too much. I'm sure they really help a lot of people, but I personally don't like to take a bunch of medications. I also never felt comfortable with counseling.

What I find helps me might not help the next person. I still have moments where I want to break down, but I usually take a deep breath and try to let it go. I try to pick out the positive things in all situations. Even if it feels like the world is crumbling around you, there will always be something that is positive. I focus on that and try to create more positives from it. I also started doing Yoga. I'm not very good at it and probably look like a fish out of water flopping around, but I promise it is SOOO relaxing. It really clears my mind and allows me to approach my day much more calmly. I just grabbed a few cheap beginner DVDs at Walmart. Even if I don't physically do it, sometimes I'll still pop the tape in because it is soothing to listen to. Breathing exercises help tremendously.

I also sympathize with you on the weight issue. I've gained a massive amount of weight which has been really hard on me. I was so active in high school and was in incredible shape. Now after college, I'm a big diabetic blob. I fear social situations because I feel too fat. I always like to be under blankets and wear baggy clothes (really sucky in Texas when it is SO hot and humid). I try to run to food as a comfort, but that generally makes it worse. When I start eating right, I notice a difference in my attitude and appearance. I usually regress back at some point though. The first step is the hardest in losing weight. After that, each step gets a little easier.

Ok, I probably didn't tell you anything helpful, but I wanted you to know that I understand a little of how you feel. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk, as I'm sure many other PTers are. We all love you so much. Cancer survivors are such strong, incredible people. I think you are so brave to go through what you did. I know everyone that has met you thinks the world of you. I think the world of you and I haven't even met you! You're a beautiful person with the prettiest twinkling eyes... and a beauty on the inside to match. I'll be praying you can find something to help you out of your depression. Some people can do it without drugs and counseling, so I realy hope you can find that one thing to pull you out.

[Ginger's Mom]

Originally posted by aly
Robin,

You are to be commended for opening up to everyone like that. I know it must not be easy to put your personal feelings out there for all to see. I look at you as such a brave, kind-hearted, compassionate person. Your son is wrong. There is nothing about you that is loser-ish.

Well put Aly, I agree with all of that.

Although I have never been diagnosed with depression, there were a few times when I have felt the way you describe. It is a long slow process getting out of that feeling. Talking about it here, following through with whatever the doctor may suggest, and keeping active outside of the home will all help. It is not going to be easy, it is not going to be fast. But we all know that you can get through it. And there are so many people here that are willing to help. (Isn't it kind of nice to know that even if you don't feel like calling someone there are caring people who are no more than a keystroke away?) Keep on trying Robin. I will also keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Kfamr]

Robin, i'm so sorry you're feeling down. NO ONE has any right to speak to you like your son has. You're such a sweet person to everyone and you're so much fun to be around.

I love you so much as a friend, as a person, as a person I look up to. I think you're a beautiful person inside and out and hopefully some of the advice and things people have said here help you out a bit. If you ever need to talk i'm a PM away.

I'm hoping we're going to be able to make another trip up there soon - if we do a visit with you is definetly needed.

[shais_mom]

Originally posted by Ginger's Mom
Well put Aly, I agree with all of that.

Although I have never been diagnosed with depression, there were a few times when I have felt the way you describe. It is a long slow process getting out of that feeling.

same here

I have had a lot of emotions running thru this thread. First off, unspeakable anger at your son for being so horrid to you... b/c you are one of the NICEST and SWEETEST people I know.
He is the one with the problem of being 'loser' not you. I know that sounds harsh to someone I don't even know but it angers me to no end to hear someone being treated like that by their own child. Doesn't he and his fiance'/girlfriend live with you? I wonder if that has anything to do with your depression? What I mean is a negative attitude from HIM could be effecting you and making your issue worse. This sounds like I have no respect for the sanctity of a mother/son relationship but honestly I do. But my concern is you - not him, Robin. I was going thru a rough time there for awhile at work getting so angry I couldn't control it. I had to purge these feeling from my mind and soul. I know that this isn't going to help you any at all making it much simpler then it really is. I had to visualize rolling my thoughts and deep routed anger into a ball and just tossing it away. After awhile it worked eventually. Maybe your son is the ball that needs tossed? At least for a while......
I have another dear friend whose son has treated her worse then chewing gum under his shoe and I myself would love to meet him in a dark alley....
Secondly, I am so sad for you my heart hurts and I am in tears.
I know I have went thru bouts of depression myself, when Shaianne died (I gained a lot of weight) my grandma and now when my grandpa died. During the day before work I am having a helluva time staying out of bed. This week has just been shot b/c I get up go to a hair or tanning appt and then crawl right back into bed.
I wish we lived closer and I could hug you right now. I am also very sorry I didn't get a chance to chat with you much over Memorial Sunday. :(
I will keep you wrapped in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope I haven't upset you too much with my opinion..... :(


PM me anytime.....

[luvofallhorses]

Robin,

I am so sorry you have to go through this. :( Seriously you are one of the sweetest PT'ers out there. :) I know what depression is like and it sucks and your son had NO right to call you a loser because you are NOT one!!! If you need to talk feel free to PM me (((((((HUGS)))))))))



Krista

[Fox-Gal]

Like others here I commended for opening up also, its a big step.

I'll been trough my depression time also, when I separated from my first husband, even though it was my idea to split up. He made life H#$% for me, broke into the home, took everything and I mean everything out, while I was on vacation. Keep me tied up in court for 3 years, wiping out every dollar I had saved for years. Followed me, contacted family members and told stories etc etc, it drove me into a depression, between that and starting the change. I went down hill fast. And also like you the weight didn't help, I went from a size 7 to a plus size woman. I use to cried when I ever I saw myself in the mirror. I walked away from all friends, keep myself from doing anything I didn't have to in public. It was bad.

What help me was some meds, but more then anything was counseling. I learned a lot there and today, I still have bad days, but I can deal with them a lot better, without having to re-lie on a pill. But that me, I'm not a pill kind of person, so I will do anything not to have my life depended on a pill, to feel normal.

I'm still over weight, cry when I see myself in the mirror sometimes, still trying to recover from the money mess, my divorce got me into, never recovered my friendships and am still without friends............But I can go out into the world, smile etc, thanks to the help I got. And so will you!!!! :D

In the mean time hugs to you.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v638/Trouble-friends/hugs.gif

[carole]

Robilee I hope all these replys will help bring you some comfort, I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling right now, I think a lot of us have been in that black hole position before as well, and so we are all here for you in any way that will help to ease your difficulties right now.

As for you son, I can well understand, at that age they can be ever so selfish, it is just part of his growing up process , but he should show more respect, it is unkind for him to make you feel even worse, like the other's have said let him know how it makes you feel.

You have been through a great ordeal with your cancer battle, and you have been exceptionally brave IMO, you are to be commended for doing so well through such a tough experience, I think your anger is understandable considering all that you have been through and one that is a normal reaction.

I hope with some medication, love from your friends and support from your family and friends we can help pull you out of this deep dark place that no-one wants to be in, love and hugs Robilee, and remember you are a wonderful, caring person, who deserves only the best, Take care of YOU for once and concentrate on getting well, and make yourself number one priority, hard for a mother to do, but I think it is essential that you do for your well-being, I will be thinking of you and hoping your darkest moments are over soon.

[popcornbird]

Robin,
My heart aches so badly after reading your post. I can't believe that your own son would call you a loser, when you are in fact, the total opposite. You are such a wonderful, sweet, caring person. I wish I could do something to make you feel better...to help put your smile back on your face where it belongs. Just know that you have so many friends here at Pet Talk who love and care for you, and when you need us, we'll all be here for you. {{{hugs}}}

[Cincy'sMom]

I'm sorry I really don't have much to have that everyone hasn't already said. Just know we are here for you, and that we love you. You are not a loser!!

Never feel bad about venting here. We all need to.

[wolf_Q]

Robin, I'm not in your shoes but I have felt like that myself. Quite often I find myself depressed...I've felt like just quitting my job...I know how you feel about the weight issue as well. I'm so sorry to hear that your son called you that. Please know that is not true at all. You really are one of the sweetest people I've ever known. You are so much fun to be around and a great friend to me. Please know that there are so many people here that care for you. {{{Hugs}}} If you ever want to talk I'll give you my number.

[Bigyummydog]

Robin,
I'm not going to say too much. Everyone has already said it. And, as far as friends are concerned, I think your covered. Please put me on that long list of PT friends too...tons of hugs to you.

Barbra

[NoahsMommy]

I'm going to PM you...but wanted to give you:

HUGS

here too. :)

[LauraT7]

Robin

I haven't been on PT long, but long enough to recognise that you are a wonderful person, and have lots of caring friends here. that doesn't sound like a 'loser' to me. Kids can be hurtful - esp teens - which I'm guessing your son is.

I also suffer from depression and attention deficit disorder. As a single ADD /depressed mom raising an ADHD teen, our home is terribly disorganised, scattered and messy. Man, talk about a messy house!?!?! I always tell the (very few) friends I let in my house, that I keep it that messy to make my friends feel better about THEIR housekeeping skills! I have piles on piles of paper on my tables and desks! Honestly - it's scary! I once kept a 'pet' spider in the corner of the livingroom for half a summer - I told my mom it was 'educational' for my son, Jon, to watch it catch and eat the mosquitoes that got in! LOL! My kitchen floor has needed washing for a long, long time, and there's so many dog hair-balls rolling around on my wood floors, sometimes I think Fizzy had puppies!

Seriously, I try and I'm on medication, but it's really tough. I also have a weight problem, and like you, the depression just makes me want to stay home and sleep. it's an 'escape'. When I sleep, the bills, mess, stress and problems all dissappear for at least that litttle while. Whatever your job situation, however, I would stay with it if you can - I've been unemployed (or under employed) for a couple years now. I've been substitute teaching - but with school out for the summer, even that's gone and I'm back to unemployment. The thought of working a 'real' full time job scares the heck out of me!

If you ever want to talk - fell free to e-mail me,
[email protected]

I hope you feel better, and this Dr. helps some -

hugs,

laura

[RobiLee]

Hello everyone. I'm sorry it has taken me awhile to check back in. I have been completely overwhelmed by all the responses and at first I felt a bit embarrassed that I actually put this out there and I wasn't sure if I would even get any responses or if I even wanted any. I don't know if that makes any sense. All I know is that you have all touched my heart and I can never thank you enough. Thank you for all your kindness, your support, your pm's, your phone numbers and email addresses. It means everything to me.

I am still having a hard time but I am trying to solve this problem. I realize that it may take some time. I will get there though. Brandon is not the reason for my depression but he doesn't help the situation any. I tried to talk to him this evening, but I don't seem to get anywhere with him. He says he is sorry for talking to me like that and that he feels bad then he always adds the word BUT and tries to make it sound like its my fault that he talks to me that way. I can't get through to him. I tell him there are no "buts" that he shouldn't be talking to anyone like that. Of course instead of listening to me he wants to fight and I refuse to get into a screaming match with him. He is not a teenager he is 21 and definitely should know better. His girlfriend does not live here. She is here most of the time but she works and has school so she is usually heading home about 10 or so. I just don't know what to do about that boy of mine. I want him out of the house because I can't stand living with someone who seems to hate me so much and just takes advantage of me. Then that makes me feel terrible because I know he has no place to go right now and no money. He is trying to finish up school and be an IT Tech. Anyway the whole thing makes me feel like I was and am a lousy parent. OK, thats enough about him.

Once again, thank you all for being here for me! You are truly wonderful people.

Robin :o

[shais_mom]

I am glad you checked back in Robin.... :)
I owe you an apology....
Making you think that I blamed your son for your depression. And for thinking that his girlfriend lived there. I am sorry that I was wrong in thinking that that added to your stress.
There is no way you or anyone especially your son is to blame for this.
The only blame that should fall is on the disease itself for being such an evil thing.
It isn't your fault that your son talks to you that way. There is no if and or BUT in it.. and he shouldn't be adding that. :(
You are a beautiful person and still one of my favortist PT'ers......

and in my thoughts and prayers...

Love
Staci and her "K's"

[RobiLee]

Staci...you owe me no apology whatsoever!!! Don't even think that. I am the one who brought up my son. I sometimes blame the depression on him myself, but I realize that it just isn't true. Trust me though, those two have caused me lots of stress....lol. Brandon and his girlfriend have been together for 5 years and when they were in high school they were constantly here. Sometimes Alden and I felt like it was more their house than ours. They have the oddest personalities and we actually nicknamed them "Doom and Gloom"...lol. Not very nice of us but just ask anyone in the family about them :rolleyes: They do seem to have blossomed a little bit and aren't so dreary to be around anymore...lol

Thanks for listening to me, Staci. It means alot to me.

Hugs for you and those gorgeous K's ;)

[dukedogsmom]

Hey girl. You have my number. Call me if you want or I can call you if you'd like. And you're right, love does not include "but". Don't forget to go shopping tomorrow :D

[shais_mom]

Originally posted by RobiLee
Staci...you owe me no apology whatsoever!!! Don't even think that. I am the one who brought up my son. I sometimes blame the depression on him myself, but I realize that it just isn't true. Trust me though, those two have caused me lots of stress....lol. Brandon and his girlfriend have been together for 5 years and when they were in high school they were constantly here. Sometimes Alden and I felt like it was more their house than ours. They have the oddest personalities and we actually nicknamed them "Doom and Gloom"...lol. Not very nice of us but just ask anyone in the family about them :rolleyes: They do seem to have blossomed a little bit and aren't so dreary to be around anymore...lol

Thanks for listening to me, Staci. It means alot to me.

Hugs for you and those gorgeous K's ;)

Good I am glad Robin. I was afraid I had hurt your feelings....