ILoveMyAbbyGirl
05-06-2005, 09:11 PM
This is just copied and pasted from my xanga, so I apologize for any harsh language or things that have been repeated... I just don't want to retype it. :(
Oh I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired and sick of everything (emotionally and physically)... I just am so confused at this point in my life. I just got my temps, my great grandma died, things were getting better between me and my mom but all of a sudden today they went downhill again. I just want to hide under my covers and cry, cuz that's the only thing that even helps a little sometimes. There's not really anyone that I want to talk to except one person. ONE PERSON... and that persons not even here. I hate this, so much. And I can't go to my great grandma's funeral because I have to work during visitation on Sunday, and I would miss Driver's Ed and half a day of school on Monday if I did. But it's okay, because I would cry anyway, and I don't like to cry in front of people. I would only cry because I miss her and I hate myself for not going out to visit her as much as we used to. She didn't remember me when she died, she didn't remember hardly anyone, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have gone out to see her. I'm such a horrible person. Someone shoot me. I feel so drained.
In other news, like I said, I went and got my temps at the DMV today. The test was so effing easy. I only got 4 wrong out of 50, and they were the same ones I got wrong on the quizzes in class. =/ Still don't really know what the answers are. It took a long time waiting in line, but I actually have my temps now and I can legally drive with a guardian, which is hella exciting. I guess my mom's taking me to a parking lot tomorrow so I can experiment, ha.
I also stayed home sick today. I had a sore throat (still do just a smidge) and I had a major headache from the anxiety of going to the DMV to get my license. I was laying on the couch when my dad left and he's like, "Wow, you sure look like ****." Thanks dad, lmao. I always get what I call "anxiety headaches" when I'm really anxious or nervous about something... it sucks. I hate headaches all together.
Jen and Gavin came over to my mom's today too. Jen had taken Gavin to get his pictures taken professionally, and at the end she called my mom and said that her son was a demon child. That's my boy! She said they only got two good shots, but they are ADORABLE! I can't wait until my mom gets one so I can a.) steal it and b.) put it in the computer and show off my adorable nephew to EVERYONE! Be ready!
Anyway, I'm gonna go. Go do something... I dunno... take pictures or something. Something that will make me remotely happy. Sorry for the long boring entry.
Oh I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired and sick of everything (emotionally and physically)... I just am so confused at this point in my life. I just got my temps, my great grandma died, things were getting better between me and my mom but all of a sudden today they went downhill again. I just want to hide under my covers and cry, cuz that's the only thing that even helps a little sometimes. There's not really anyone that I want to talk to except one person. ONE PERSON... and that persons not even here. I hate this, so much. And I can't go to my great grandma's funeral because I have to work during visitation on Sunday, and I would miss Driver's Ed and half a day of school on Monday if I did. But it's okay, because I would cry anyway, and I don't like to cry in front of people. I would only cry because I miss her and I hate myself for not going out to visit her as much as we used to. She didn't remember me when she died, she didn't remember hardly anyone, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have gone out to see her. I'm such a horrible person. Someone shoot me. I feel so drained.
In other news, like I said, I went and got my temps at the DMV today. The test was so effing easy. I only got 4 wrong out of 50, and they were the same ones I got wrong on the quizzes in class. =/ Still don't really know what the answers are. It took a long time waiting in line, but I actually have my temps now and I can legally drive with a guardian, which is hella exciting. I guess my mom's taking me to a parking lot tomorrow so I can experiment, ha.
I also stayed home sick today. I had a sore throat (still do just a smidge) and I had a major headache from the anxiety of going to the DMV to get my license. I was laying on the couch when my dad left and he's like, "Wow, you sure look like ****." Thanks dad, lmao. I always get what I call "anxiety headaches" when I'm really anxious or nervous about something... it sucks. I hate headaches all together.
Jen and Gavin came over to my mom's today too. Jen had taken Gavin to get his pictures taken professionally, and at the end she called my mom and said that her son was a demon child. That's my boy! She said they only got two good shots, but they are ADORABLE! I can't wait until my mom gets one so I can a.) steal it and b.) put it in the computer and show off my adorable nephew to EVERYONE! Be ready!
Anyway, I'm gonna go. Go do something... I dunno... take pictures or something. Something that will make me remotely happy. Sorry for the long boring entry.