Kia's grief

[ramanth]

I made a horrible mistake and because of it, I lost something I loved dearly. My boyfriend and I broke up. :( :(

As a result, I moved back in with my parents.

Kia is so confused right now.

How can I make her understand that she won't ever see Michael again or the place she called home for the last 8 months?

:( :( :( :(

[Albea]

Sorry about your news.:( It may take a while, but if you give Kia more of your time and show her how much you love her she will get over the confusion. It's amazing how adaptable dogs are when they feel safe and loved.
Hope you both feel better soon.

[jennifert]

Oh I'm so sorry. For you and for Kia. I too am a single mom of a dog. My boyfriend and I were together when I got Duncan so they have grown very attached. I worry about how Duncan will feel if/when something happens and we are no longer together. But I also know that Duncan (and Kia) love their mommys the most! She'll be sad because she'll see your sadness and anger and hurt. Your responsibility to her is to make this transition as easy as possible. She is living in a new home, her routines will change, her "family" has changed. Spend lots of quality time with her and try to keep things as close to normal as you can.
This is so strange that you wrote this today because my boyfriend and I are in the middle of "discussions" over our future and I couldn't sleep last night worrying about Duncan! Not only is he attached to Collin, but since I work 2 jobs, Collin has really been a big help to me taking care of Duncan. But, we're strong , independent women and we can do it!!
I am so sure that others have much better advice for how to help Kia deal with this but I wanted to let you know that I understand where you're coming from completely. Good luck! Hugs to you and Kia.
If you need to talk, you know where I am! :( :)

[ramanth]

Thank you.

I try not to break down and cry in front of Kia but sometimes it happens. She's always quick to give me kisses with this look like "Don't be sad mommy. I'm here!"

Aww damn.. I'm crying again. :(

Jennifert: Lots of luck to you and Collin.

[LoudLou]

Louie sez lots of love to you and Kia.... and Kia will give you lots of love to help dry your tears, I think she understands more than we think they do.... you two will make it just fine and you said you were back at your parents home? I don't know about you but Louie sez, "When the going gets ruff....he goes to "Grandma's House"--- Lots of Love:) Hang in there.

[purrley]

So sorry to hear about your breakup - you know everything happens for a reason no matter how devastating it is in the beginning - and everything has a way of working itself out. You've got your beautiful Kia to help get you through it and you'll be OK - we all have to go through this kinda of thing. I know it hurts so terribly but time is a great healer. I'm giving you a HUGE hug and you, too Kia. God Bless you both and hang in there.

[Dixieland Dancer]

Kimmy,
If you focus all your spare time and energy on Kia, you will heal much faster and Kia will adjust to her new surrounds much faster. I think as long as she is with you she will be just fine! I hope you find peace and realize that we all do stupid things in our life but there is forgiveness and healing and time helps ease the pain. Our prayers are with you during this time!

[AmberLee]

{{{Kimmy, Kia}}},

Hang in there. Together you are strong. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

[zippy-kat]

Break ups. Been there, done that, NOT FUN! :(

I agree with the others...shower Kia with even more love & she'll adjust quickly and easily!

[michelene]

Kimmy, draw on Kia's unconditional love to start healing, pray for help to recover, and have faith that you will. All the messages here are right on target about showering Kia with love. She will grow closer to you and give you a lift when you need it the most.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[AdoreMyDogs]

Kimmy, I am so sorry about the break-up. They are never, ever fun or easy. Just spend alot of time with Kia, as much as you are able to, and she and you will both benefit.

Graham went through a boyfriend breakup too. When I adopted him I was actually living with a boyfriend who I met at school and we were living together for about a year before we broke up. My boyfriends' name was Mike, too. It was hard on Graham because Graham loved Mike, it was hard on Mike because Mike loved Graham...but it was the hardest on me :( Just hold Kia close and don't be afraid to use her as a shoulder to cry on. Dogs are so healing.

Everything does happen for a reason. As much as I loved Mike, I met my husband a few years later and I could not be happier. He's truly the best friend I have ever had and I adore him. Just know that good things DO come and bad things DO pass.

Hugs to you and Kia in this tough time :(

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Kimmy, I am sooo sorry, to hear what happened!:( It must have been very hard, and sad. Just hold Kia close, and remember that she'll be there, to lick your tears. :)

God Bless You and Kia!

Love,
Sarah & Sadie:)

[shais_mom]

You are in my thoughts.
Please rely on Kia,during this difficult time and know we are thinking about you.

[Gio]

I'm sorry to hear about what your going through Kimmy. I agree with the others try to spend as much time with Kia, this will also help you heal. Kia will adjust, she might be confused at the moment but she has you and that's the most important thing.

Take care

[Stenograsaurus]

I am so sorry to hear of your break up. I ditto what everybody has already said on here. I don't mean to get religous on you, but everything happens for a reason. God has a plan for you. If you and Mike cannot work things out and you two are over for good, something or someone better will come along. Maybe this is your chance to check into Kruzer again? You and Kia are in my prayers. Don't be afraid to lean on each other. You two can get through this. Keep your head up and be strong. Hugs to you.

[ramanth]

Thank you everyone.

I'm still sad but I can see a little sun peeking thru the clouds.

I stopped by the apartment to get some more of my stuff and ended up breaking down. He comforted me and we talked and he mentioned Kruzer.

Michael had gone to the Humane Society yesterday and Kruzer was still there. The tone in his voice sounded like he was interested in adopting him.

We didn't yell and we were civil. We are taking baby steps at the moment. We both decided it would be best if we take a break to find each other. I told him I still wanted to be in his life. Helping out his buisness and such. If it was truely meant to be, then we will not be apart long.

Only time will tell.

I haven't seen Kia since Thursday morning. I called dad to let him know where I was and he said Kia was really depressed. She wouldn't come out of her crate for my mom and my dad had to coax her out. :(

I can't wait to see her when I get out of work. :)

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Oh, Kimmy, I am so sorry to hear about how things are going. But just as everyone mentioned, Kia can help you and she will adjust to her surrounding quyicker than you think.

I hope all goes well and you and Kia will get through this. I know it!

[purrley]

Kimmy - I just have this feeling that everything will work out for you and Mike in the long run. Relationships are so very difficult and sometimes it takes a break up or a separation to realize how important you are to each other. In the meantime Kia obviously needs you and she's gotta be #1, just like a child. Bless Ya!!!!

[ramanth]

:)

You know...I didn't realize how much I missed my cats until that Wednesday.

I was home on the couch crying when Scooter jumped up in my lap and turned on his little motor. He'd nudge my face and act so silly I couldn't help but smile.

I love my 5 mini motor boats. :D

[purrley]

;) I can;t tell ya how many times my cats have come to the rescue when I was feeling really down about something. They're such great therapy for the blues. My babies have seen me through some really rough times - thank God for them!!!!!

[Stenograsaurus]

You know, I didn't even think of Michael getting Kruzer. I just figured since you were not in the apartment and you no longer had the one animal per apartment rule that maybe you could get Kruzer to help you through the grieving process (not that Kia isn't enough). I'm glad you guys are being so civil. As you said, if it was meant to be, it will be. I'm thinking of you.

[ramanth]

I would Stenograsaurus, but my parents are cat people. If I brought a second dog into the home, that would be a no no. They were shocked that I took Kia. They thought Michael was going to keep her.

Not that they don't love her, but they are trying to get used to a 50 lb. dog taking over their house. :D

Two 50 lb. dogs would be too much for them.

[jackiesdaisy1935]

I'm very sorry to hear about your breakup, but right now you must think of what is best for you and Kia. Just take your time and think about what you want to do with your life and Kia will adjust. Thank goodness you have your family to fall back on for support and of course everyone here at Pet Talk. Time and patience heals all.
Jackie