Marriage

[catnapper]

I was thinking today... I just learned my 21 year old cousin who got married last summer is already pregnant. I'm thrilled for her & her new husband, but all I can say is "wow... she's still so young"

I notice that every generation, the expected or "normal" marriage age edges older and older. My grandmom's generation was 17 or 18 when they got married. My mom had many of her classmates do the same. My generation seemed to want to wait til the early 20's -- I decided to wait til I was almost 30. Ok, truth be told, I was ready by 26 but nobody was ready to put up with me fulltime at that time :D

Anyhoooooo.... what age do you think is the right age to start getting married? What age is somebody emotionally ready for the give and take of marriage?

PS: the cousin who got married last summer called my SIL (who's 28) too old to be having babies (she just had a baby in February). I had to laugh because I was thinking she's so young! :D Amazing how different people see things so differently. So I want to know what everyone else thinks.

[Kfamr]

It's different for everyone, I didn't vote.

Me, I don't want to get married until i'm atleast able to support myself financially, and who knows when that'll be.

[Sirrahsim]

I got married at 18, which is far too young for a lot of people. In our situation though, my hubby already had a stable job with the military so financial stability was not an issue.
It depends a lot on maturity. Many 18-21 (or so) year olds are far too immature to get married...
On another note, I think that it is best to have kids earlier (before 35). Genetically it is healthier and plus you'll have a better chance of being around when your child grows up, gets married, and has kids of their own.

[Luvin Labs]

I put 26-27 (since it didn't have an 'other' just a 'never') but it really all depends on the couple and how mature they are and how they compensate and how they are compatible with their other half... I know some 16 year old more mature than some of my 30 year old friends, and vice versa...

[finn's mom]

I don't think there's any magic age for marriage or kids. It really does depend on the people involved and the circumstances surrounding the relationship.

[MariaM]

I voted 24-25, but of course it depends. My mom had me when she was 39...I wish she'd had me earlier, because I only know one family who has parents older than mine..lol. Oh well. I was the 4th and last kid.

[christa]

I was 22 when I got married, so that's what I voted for.

It was almost perfect for us. We both had just graduated from college . . . although maybe putting it off for a year would have made us more financially stable going into a marriage . . . but live and learn . . . we struggled for the first year, but we never fought or had any problems in our relationship . . . just struggled to keep the electricity on!!!

No worries now, we're coming up on our 2nd anniversary in August and things couldn't be better!

I think it's different for everyone. :)

[wolfsoul]

I've always imagined myself getting married at 24. I have no idea why. I think it's because my mom had me when she was 24 and that number has been stuck in my head. I don't think there is a right or wrong age to get married, but I think mid-20's is best.

[Tollers-n-Dobes]

I never want to get married so I probably don't have much say in this but I don't think there is any certain age group, it all just depends on the people and their relationship.

[petslover]

I believe it is different for each person.

[jenluckenbach]

I voted 21-23 because I believe 21 or older. I don't think anyone under 21 should get married. They can think about it, or even plan it, but if they can't actually wait until the "magic" age of adulthood, then maybe it wasn't meant to be.

I married at 21....we PURPOSELY waited until I turned 21 to wed. We KNEW several years earlier that we would be married but felt we needed the adult status to make it feel "right".

[jennifert9]

I voted in the 30s somewhere. But then I'm 33 and not married so maybe I'm prejudiced!;) I know for me personally that I am a completely different person now than I was at 18, 21, 25, even 30 so the person I may have been attracted to/thought about marrying at those ages, I wouldn't even look twice at now...but I think it is so individual. I'm a "slow grower" :D or that's how I like to classify myself! I learn so much every day, week, month, year....I dont' know if I will ever feel ready!
The "children question" can become a problem for the people who get married older though, like someone said...My mom had me at 27 and I can not imagine having my own 6 year old right now!! HOLY MOLY!!!

I personally plan to adopt handicapped and special needs children that many others wouldn't want or give a chance to so for me that isn't an issue but I do see how it is for people that want to have their own flesh and blood children.

To each, his own I guess. :)

[Oggyflute]

I was 33 when I got together with Carole, so I put 33-35. :)
I think that a certain level of maturity is needed when settling down with your life partner, be that a young or old age.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

It really depends on the person. I got married at 18, which was hard of corse, but it was perfect for me. I would not normally say that 18 is a good age to get married, but for me it was. We bought a house 3 months after we got married and it was hard to always pay the bills, but we did. Come July we will have been married for 5 years and we are financially secure now. So maybe it would have been easier to waited until we were older, but we didn't. Actually having to struggle a bit probably made us stronger. You all know the saying "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger", well, in our case it was true.

I also want to add that we have been ready for a baby for about a year now, which a year ago I was 22. We have been trying, but unfortunately have had no success thus far (we're still trying). My periods come every 60 or so days. I have been checked by my doctor and everything looks normal. They said I should be able to have a baby. Anyway, congratulations to your cousin. She's young and it may be difficult, but she can do it.

[Bubblehead1123]

my parents got married when my mom was 20 and my dad was 24 (they've been married for 30 years :D ) my mom had my oldest sister (duh) when she was 21.... soo... they were young too... I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters.... and my oldest sister has three boys.:eek: biiiiiiiiig family.

[carole]

I think it does depend on the maturity of the individuals and what they want out of life.

I was married the first time at 24, then this time round at 34, whatever age you are, it takes hard work and more than just love to make it work.

My mother was married at 18, and my niece at 19 the same age as my sister, who has been married 32 years now, personally I would have hated to marry so young, not for me, I think an average good age would be around 26-28.

I think marrying in the thirties is a little harder, as you become so set in your way's, well from my experience, the first few years were fun but ever so challenging, and a period of real adjusting for us both, now we are settled, like the old comfortable shoe and sock lol.

[mina'smomma]

I will be getting married in three months,and I'm glad I waited. I was engaged for the first time when I was 17 to my high school sweetheart who went into the Army. Unfortunately that engagement went south when I went to visit him in CO and he had gotten married behind my back.

It worked out in the end though because Lee Roy is one of the best things that has happened in my life. I'm very excited at the thought of being his wife and we're even talking about getting pregnant this time next year.

[Glacier]

I was almost 27 when we got married. Stuart was 32. That was perfect for us! We'd both done all the silly, stupid, really fun stuff that single people can do and married people end up in divorce court over! He had indulged his wanderlust and travelled the world. I had two degrees, a career and the solid knowledge that I can support myself.

My sister got married days before her 19th birthday. They are still together, 11 years later, but it's been ugly. It's been a constant struggle for them. They've separate numerous times. Now they have three kids to consider too. They aren't the same people they were as teenagers. My sister lacks the ability to support herself and her kids. She stays, at least in part, because she needs to.

I've tell Stuart that I don't need him--I can support me, the dogs, the cats, this house, ect on my paycheque. I can run a chainsaw, get wood, make sure the water guy shows up, fix the fences, stop a leaking tap, change the light fixtures, kills spiders ect, ect, ect by myself if I have to. I don't need him here, I want him here. It annoys him to no end sometimes, so I sometimes let him take care of "man" things. In the long run though, I think it's a healthier relationship because I am not dependant on him.

[RICHARD]

I think you wait until you are in your mid thirties....

Then a few days before your wedding you jump on a bus to Las Vegas, without telling anyone.....

You start a manhunt and leave your signifigant other to be be looked at the next Scott Peterson.

Clip all the newspaper clippings and scrap book them-


You know, something to laugh about with your grandkids....:eek:

[Karen]

Paul and I married the summer we turned 22 (25 days after my 22nd birthday, a day after his). It was the right age for us. I do not think, though, that there is an perfect age. It depends entirely on the people involved. For some people 22 is way too young, others think that if you're not married by 25, you're hopeless - but it depends on the two people involved, their personalities and maturity levels, or lack thereof - and other circumstances.

[LKPike]

I'm getting married this year, 18 :p

in villages in india, africa, asia, etc they get married around 10-12 which is considered the "perfect age". they arent allowed to live with their new spouse until both children are atleast 16 yrs old. they believe that love will come AFTER marriage, so they arent marrying from lust, puppy love, etc. It must be working :confused: the 20-something year old couples interviewd on Taboo ((tv show)) seemed very happy with their childhood marriages.:confused:

[LKPike]

Originally posted by RICHARD
I think you wait until you are in your mid thirties....

Then a few days before your wedding you jump on a bus to Las Vegas, without telling anyone.....

You start a manhunt and leave your signifigant other to be be looked at the next Scott Peterson.

Clip all the newspaper clippings and scrap book them-


You know, something to laugh about with your grandkids....:eek:

Jennifer Wilbanks?? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I've never heard of anyone doing that from "cold feet"..... wouldnt a simple "no" be enough?

[moosmom]

I voted for 31 and over. Why? Well, I got married at the tender age of 20. I knew Peter for a total of 7 months before we got married. The only REASON I got married was because my father told me "No daughter of mine is going to live in sin!!" when we told him we were going to live together. (six months after I got married, HE moved in with his girlfriend and her 9 year old kid Go figure!!).

I never had the chance to experience life. Everyone matures differently. I didn't mature until after I was divorced and lived a few years on my own.

[dukedogsmom]

I'm not going to vote, either. But, I'd probably go with late 20's because you change so much then.

[chocolatepuppy]

I think it depends on the people involved. My husband and I were 18 and 19 when we married. They said it'd never last. Here we are 29 years later. :D

[popcornbird]

I think it depends. There's no 'perfect' age. For some people, getting married young and going through every aspect in life together is the perfect thing. Sometimes, even if you want to get married young, you don't find the right person until years later. Some people mature later in life and are ready for marriage at a later age. Some people want to be settled financially before marriage. Therefore, I feel there's no 'fixed age'. It depends on every individual.

That being said, I do feel the best age for me and for most would be some time during the 20s. I hope to get married in my early 20s...sometime between 20-25. I'm not quite ready yet, but I feel in a year or two, I might be ready to start 'looking'. I once used to say, I NEVER want to get married. It still scares me when I think about it but I now look at marriage as a 'nice' thing. Just the thought of the change in life frightens me...but I know there must be no better thing in the world than sharing your life with the person you love the most, and I also know...one day, I will yearn to get married........so better get it over with while I'm still young. ;) He he he! Just hope I get a wonderful, kind, loving guy. :D I don't want to delay and wait till I reach my 30s like my cousins did, and then have to go through so much emotional pain because of it. They want to get married now, but at 35+, its hard for a girl to find a husband. Most guys looking for wives are younger, and want young girls too, unfortunately...:( I think it gets more difficult finding a suitable match when you get older, because you become so set in your ways, and, by that age, the type of people you'd want are already married. That doesn't mean there's no hope when you're older. A lot of people find wonderful spouses later in life too. Like I said, it all depends, but I would prefer getting married in the 20s...not too young and not too old, in my opinion. I think people in their teens are too young/immature for marriage, but even at that age, it works out for some.

[cocker_luva]

i think 21-23...well for me at least

[dukedogsmom]

I would like to add that it sometimes can be a huge disappointment, as well. I am on a campaign for parents not to teach their girls that it can be like a Cinderella story. Really hurts later on when reality hits. Just make sure when you do get married that you don't ignore signs like I did(dog abuse, previous spouse abuse).

[mruffruff]

An interesting poll.

I'd like to hear from the ones who voted 'Never'.

I really like Glacier's attitude--that's the way a marriage should be!

[CalliesMom]

I was 23 when I got married and am now 25. Though I feel as if 23 might be too young for most people, I have been with Jason since I was 18 and have never wanted to date others. I could not be with him if I did not feel that I could also be independent and complete my education, as well. I never wanted to have to rely on someone else for support--I have wanted to be able to contribute and be able to be on my own if anything were to happen to us.
I feel that though we are two completely different people, we have grown and matured together. He brings out my best qualities as I hope I do for him. He makes me want to be a better person and I believe that is what marriage is all about.

[sirrahved]

I'm not voting. I think the perfect age for everyone is different.