Advice needed please.......re-kitten....

[carole]

Not many of you will know as my thread was not answered by many, that we found a stray kitten two days ago, we are taking care of him, he is around 4 mths old , a beautiful tabby boy all fixed and in nice condition, he is a real love bug, a lap cat and very easy going and laid back wee chap.

I have advertised him as found, so far no response, and have an option to take him to the cat shelter on Sunday, there may even be a friend of my daughter's friend who might be allowed to adopt him, but that is not certain.

My problem is both Melissa and I have fallen head over heels with this young man, I cryed myself to sleep last night , just thinking about taking him to the shelter.

I have always told you I cannot really afford another kitty,(and that is true) as much as I would love to have one,however my daughter has put this option to me which I am seriously considering if hubby agrees, (we will really have to work on him) that it becomes her responsibility, she has a paper round which earns her twenty dollars a week and she will take care of his needs, he will also be mainly an indoor kitty, as he is quite happy being so, well so far anyhow.

I have given her no answer yet, and I am dying to say YES, Melissa is nearly 13 and she is a very responsible girl for her age, she volunteers at the local cat shelter, and has had her job for over a year now, she wants to prove to us she will and can look after him.

I am in two minds, I feel sick at the thought of letting him go, but part of me is torn,would it be right to let her have him, what do you all think, your honesty would be appreciated, in the long run it will be mine and hubby's decision, but I would like your input please, Thanks in advance.:)

I am also a little concerned how Ash and Lexie would take to him being here, Ash seems fine, but Lexie would be right put out I think, I would hate her to take off because she felt unhappy with a new arrival.

[jazzcat]

Oh gosh, I would have a hard time letting him go too.

Just my opinion but I think your daughter sounds very responsible and is at a good age to take this on. As for Lexie, I think the key would be to introduce them slowly - if you haven't already - and to keep reassuring both Lexie and Ash of their positions as top kitties. Be sure to give them lots of extra attention.

Please let us know how it goes.

[Jods]

I think your daughter sounds really responsible and can do it!! Give her a chance! one question though what if she does at the start and then slacks off will you get rid of him or will you have to take him on?? Something to think about before you make you decision. Good luck either way. I hope your husband gives her the chance... And did you post pictures???? I'm gonna go check. :)

[catnapper]

Carole, I'm sorry I missed the first thread - was away for a day and half, and VERY busy leading up to that.

From what you've said of your daughter, she is an amazing young woman and will live up to her promise to take care of the little guy. Put the money into a special account just for him, and only pull it when he needs somethign. It'll be exciting to see how fast it accumulates. then when she heads off to college, she can go there either with him, or leave him home, with enough money in the account to care for him while she is gone.

[finn's mom]

Hey, Carole! I say YES! :) It sounds like you have a lot of trust in your daughter, and, that's where it starts. And, in the odd chance that she does slack off, you can always just make the arrangement ahead of time that she will have to forfeit the money she makes to at least pay for the cat's needs, even if she isn't the one physically cleaning the litter or feeding the cat. Does that make sense? I can't wait to see photos! I'll have to make sure you didn't post any in the other thread. :) I hope you decide to keep the cat, have you all thought of a name?

[moosmom]

Carole,

Keep him. He's only 4 months old and I think that in time Lexie will come around. Is Lexie an outdoor cat??? I don't think she'll take off from her food source just because of the little guy.

Your daughter sounds like every parent's dream (Just like my daughter Amy) ;). How about typing up a contract setting down everything you guys agreed upon with respect to the kitten. This way, just in case, although I'm sure there won't be any problems, you'll have something to refer to. This also might help in convincing Dad that it's going to work out.

He sounds like a keeper to me, Carole. Go with your gut instincts.

[NoahsMommy]

Carole,

I just read your other thread..and I'm happy to see this one now. :) I say "yes" as well. You've always spoke highly of your daughter and it seems like you all will find a way to afford the food and care of Jasper.

:) How exciting!!!

[robinh]

Your daughter sounds like a very good kid and that she might be ready for this challenge.

Have you decided yet?

[davidpizzica]

Carole, Melissa, from what you have told me about her, seems to be a very level- headed young lady, and I believe that she will make every effort to raise this kitten as he should be. I agree with everyone else, say YES to Melissa!

[carole]

In my heart I had already decided, but Dad did not think it was a good idea, but I do know that Melissa would have lived up to her end of the bargain, no doubt in my mind, it was the problem if he ever needed special care, or surgery, we would have to take that on, and we just don't have that kind of money and Ash and Lexie have to come first.

But I do have an update, that is exciting, I got a phone call about 20 mins ago from a lady who believes he could be her's,it is really her little boys kitty and he is heartbroken, so she is coming over in about 20 mins to see, she wants to take him anyway.

This is really the best possible outcome for us all, even though Melissa will shed many tears and me too.

He sounds so like the kitty they lost, apparently they shifted house and he was at her brother's home temporarily until they had shifted properly, and guess what the brother's home is not far from me, so it sounds like it is him, also he would not have gone back there probably , but journeyed on further to his originial home, which is quite a way away, and who knows what would have happened to him.

His name is Bobo, and he does seem to respond to that, better than any other name, we actually changed his name so many times, it was whiskey, then Jasper, then Cody and then Bubba, which he seemed to respond better too, similar to Bobo.

So fingers and paws crossed, she told me they had spent a lot of money on him, getting him fixed, and we really look after our cats, vaccinations etc, he has another older cat for company , which he gets along with too.

If this is not their kitten , I will be very suprised, nevertheless he has a new home with them.

I am still going to post pics, we took heaps this morning, but my Dad forget the USB cable, so we will have to wait, so be patient, will post soon ok.

Thanks for all your replys, they re-inforced what I already knew, and what my gut feelings were, still a happy ending, no doubt another kitten will see the invisible but visible to cat sign CATS DROP IN CENTRE, lol, and we will have another one to foster sooner or later, or a keeper one of these days.

[finn's mom]

That's awesome that Bobo has a home, whether it has always been with this family or not. It does sound like you are doing the right thing, although it would have been nice for Pet Talk to have a new orangie! And, I am sure it would have been wonderful for your family, but, again, it does sound like this is the best thing for everyone involved. Can't wait to see photos! :)

[carole]

well the lady came, she did not seem to know for sure if it was Bobo, I think it was not, but she wanted to take him, I let him go, but now I don't know if I have done the right thing, it all happened too fast, I felt pressured because of needing to find him a good home, and now I am heartbroken, I just don't know if I have made the best choice for him.

I cannot tell you why, perhaps it was because I wanted him so much, he is going to a home with lots of other animals, another cat, older who probably won't be bothered by him,and four children, he just seemed so scared, and I am worried the children will be too much for him, I just feel bad, I did get her phone number and asked if I could ring to see how he is getting on, she was fine with that, and promised she would do all the right things, like vaccinations etc, but people can tell you anything if they want to.

I have no reason to doubt her, I just cannot explain how I feel,I have told her if it does not work out to let me know and return him to me.

I felt like such a mean person giving him to them, he was so happy and content and loved here, he was so scared of them all, I know that is to be expected, but it hurt to see him, as I loved him so.

Melissa is handling it very well, kids are so resilient, me I am a basketcase, I know why I can never foster, I am just too emotionally weak to handle it all.

BTW Finn's mom he was a tabby, but not an orangie, should have some pics up and running soon.

Life sucks so much at times. He had the best home and it was here.

Right now I just hate myself.

I can't help but feel resentful towards my husband, as I would have said yes, it only took him to agree, and he just thought it not a good idea, I guess he was right and being practical, but still I feel upset at him.

[Vette]

A stray showed here right on Halloween day last year. i manged to talk my parents into keeping her..(and trust me that was no easy task) :eek:

look at this way.. if you hadnt taken him,, he may have gotten hit by a car,, or attaked by some dog or something and be dead... i think you did not only one good deed by opening up your heart to him.. but possibly saving his life as well.

*hugs*
hang in there.

[carole]

I know what you are saying makes sense, but I still feel I let him down some, I guess time will ease the sadness, anyway here is the beautiful wee chappie that captured my heart and broke it all in a few days, now you can see how sweet he is, lots of pics, sorry they are in attachments, but ENJOY.

[carole]

GOSH if anyone can re-size these pics for me, would be greatly appreciated, they are huge, BTW I rang two hours later to find out how he is doing, she said he was good and was on her daughter's bed asleep, he had peed in the cage on the way home and he was none too happy about it,(the kitty) she cleaned him up and he has been fed and hopefully he is happy. fingers crossed.

[carole]

This one is cute, melissa gave him the soft toy cat salem to play with, he thought It was real, started hissing at it, lexie used to do this as well and carry it around and plonk it on our bed, hissing at it, he looks so cute though, look at his tail.

[carole]

Here is Bubs sound asleep on my daughter, isn't he the cutest?

[carole]

Here is Bub with Melissa, in his usual spot, a lil lap kitty.:)

[carole]

Just another cute pic of this lil guy.

[jenluckenbach]

Well Carole, concider this your first attempt at fostering, and you succeeded. You helped a soul in need, you loved him with all your heart, and then you let him go to his new family. Not always easy, is it? Congratulations.

[Cataholic]

Carole,
You just have to believe this was the right thing to do! He is a cutie. He looks like Lillycat's Indra!:eek:

[carole]

Bubs having fun in the tree.

[carole]

Just lil ole me looking my stunning self again.

[carole]

Well thats all folks.

Thanks Johanna, and Jen for your kind words, ya know Jen I admire all of you so much that foster, it is so darn hard, I don't know how you survive it seriously. actually it is my 2nd time, do you remember Trinity?, she turned up here too, we had her for a few days and found her a lovely home in the country, she was a cutie pie, but I did not feel quite the same attachment to her, but I still bawled my eyes out when she left too lol.

A hard lesson in life, giving up something as cute as Bubs.:( even for an ole girl like me..age doesn't make it any easier.:(

[jenluckenbach]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

And my memory is LOUSY, sorry I don't recall Trinity at this time :o.

[cloverfdx]

{{Hugs}} You did the right thing Carole, atleast you can ring to see how the little guy is getting on.

Hang in there.

[catnapper]

Oh gosh, is he a real heart stealer! I love those little tufts of fur that make up the point of his ears. I can see how you can't let him go.

[carole]

Yeah Kim, and he had the temperment to go with it, such a real laid back guy, he was awesome, I secretly am still hoping she might return him, but I seriously doubt it, i told hubby if that happens he is our's, he did not disagree, but yes I just have to move on I guess, I just don't know how you all do it, it takes a very special person to foster, and I admire you so.

Jen Trinity was a tabby girl too, but she was long-haired, she was competely different in nature, pretty and loveable, but she was a real biter, apparently she still is and a bit weird at times, I strongly believe she did belong to the lady around the corner, who keeps all her cats outside all the time, and they are semi-feral, especially the kittens,which are now young adults.,although she denied it.

At least with Trinity we can go see her anytime, I don't think I can ask complete strangers to do that with Bubs,but ya never know I guess.

I cannot imagine how people can give their babies up for adoption I mean skin kids, because I am always wondering looking at the time , wondering if Bubs has been fed yet, and how much, will they feed him little amounts six times a day, is he warm and cozy, and getting to sleep without being picked up several times a day, all that sort of stuff, does everyone do that or am I abnormal.?

[dukedogsmom]

I don't think I could have been as strong as you. He's adorable and I would have had to keep him.

[finn's mom]

He's so cute. Sorry, carole, I don't know how it got into my mind that he was an orange tabby. Oops! I'm sorry you're having second thoughts about giving him to the other family, I'm sure he's happy with them. Just as kids are, young animals are pretty resilient, as well. ;)

[carole]

I know he is probably purrfectly happy and content, it's just not seeing him being that way , that is hard.

It is just I promised myself I would not just give him to anyone, who wanted him, and I just felt pressured and put on the spot, it all happened too fast, in hindsight I wish I had just taken her phone number and said I will get back to you, if no-one claims him then you can have him, but too late now isn't it?, besides hubby probably would have been annoyed had I really done that.

I don't have bad feelings about the people, she seemed genuine enough, I just felt there were too many young kids for him, like the oldest is around 8 or 9, they may be really good with him, but it depends on how the parents are, some people let their kids do almost anything with young kittens, I guess I am putting myself through hell, just worrying needlessly, he is probably in good hands, I also realise if he had gone to the shelter adoptions, the same thing would have happened, I would never know really what kind of home he had.

I am pretty sure he was not their kitten, and we had another person lined up, which I think might have been a better home, well what I considered better, with older kids, 12 and 13 and a mother home all day, and who had plenty money to take care of him, but that was not looking as promising, they did not come and see him, and were thinking of getting a puppy, so it probably would have not worked out anyhow, still I had decided to keep him here and not take him to the shelter, and just to the adoptions, I just keep wondering should I have done that?

Oh dear this is so hard, and makes me feel miserable, so thanks for all the kind words and sensible input, I guess I am letting my heart rule my head again lol.:)

There was just something extra special about this little fella, I mean I loved Trinity too and cried when she left, but the hurt soon went, just feels different this time, cannot explain it, you just have a feeling about some things, know what I mean?

I just feel guilty, I feel bad about my decision, I had other options, that I should have pursued, I will never let myself be put under that kind of pressure again.,I just hope I have not done the wee fella an injustice.:(

[NoahsMommy]

You poor thing!!! :( (((((((Carole))))))))

I can't say I know what you're going through...I'm a huge failure when it comes to fostering. ;) But, I can see the pain you are going through and I'm so sorry for that.

He has a good home...those people seemed nice to you and I'm sure they are. If there was any doubt, I KNOW you would have said anything to not let them take him. You did the right thing and he'll be OK.

What about calling them to check on him? Maybe that would put your mind at ease?

Lot of love,
Kelly

[anna_66]

Carole, I'm so sorry to hear you are still feeling so bad for letting him go, but I'm sure he's going to be fine. So please try not to worry.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Anna

[carole]

I did check on him two hours after he left, I could not wait any longer, she said he was settling in well, I still think about him a lot and just hope he is happy and well taken care of,the children will all be back at school as holidays are over and the mother also works, so I hope he is not too lonely, one of the children could be a pre-schooler, hard to tell, so maybe someone is there some of the time, as long as they don't let him out too soon, he should be indoors until he is grown, but I wonder if that will be the case, I guess I just have to trust that I did do the right thing for him.

I am feeling somewhat better about it all today, life must go on, but I still miss the wee dearie, and wish he could have stayed, I have his pic on my background, and it hurts to see his beautiful face, but I just have to have him there if ya know what I mean.

If by some chance he ends up being returned to me, he will be staying, but some how I doubt that very much, they seem real happy with him, well who wouldn't be, he is such a stunner to look at, and with his purrsonality to match, they have got a real treasure, I sure hope they appreciate that.

[jazzcat]

Carole - I'm sorry it didn't work out just like you hoped but I'm sure he will be okay. Sounds like you got very attached to him.

I resized a few of his pictures and will post them here. Hope that is okay with you.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/jazzcat99/5-1-05/bub17.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/jazzcat99/5-1-05/bub26.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/jazzcat99/5-1-05/bubonback3.jpg

He's sure is adorable!

[carole]

Oh thanks heaps, I so wanted those pics to be smaller, I have no idea how or if I can do that on my computer, yep I was totally in love with this little guy, and I still feel empty inside now that he is gone, but time is a great healer, I sure hope he is happy too. Isn't he just the cutest.?

[Vette]

Oh my goodness! what big ears he has. :D
i can see why you feel for him so.


but yes.. time has a way of healing up the ole heart. takes a whie though.. but untill then hang in there.. *hugs*

feel free to PM me if you need anything.

Fritz qued me in on to clear out my over flowing inbox :o

[carole]

Thanks, I think it is just the picture, his ears were pretty normal for his age.:)

I feel even worse, the lady across the road asked after him, and said she would have taken him, she hinted before, but because she was heading overseas for a few weeks in a few weeks, thought it not a good idea, she has four other kitties, and was not sure her hubby would allow her another, and whether he would get on with them, she never really made it clear to me, and did not come back over to say she would definitely have him.

If only I had waited a bit longer, he could have had a good home with her, and we could have seen him as often as we would have liked..

I was already feeling stink about it all, now I feel even worse. I just have to hope he is doing well and is happy.