A Cat's Version of Hamlet, by Shakespaw

[RedHedd]

A Cat's Version of Hamlet

To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:

Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains upon those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell.

To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.

To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain:

Aye, there's the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom,
The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?

Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor's yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
Than run away to unguessed miseries?

Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.

~ Shakespaw ~

[catmandu]

That is mazing,you are truly a Poet Lauriet! That is going,into My Meow Mail.
Scrappy 2
To Bite,or Not To Bite
That Big Moose Tail
He will give chase
But to me,he is a Snail.

[Laura's Babies]

How cute! I will have to look for Shakespaw books! Such a wonderful writter!

[RedHedd]

Originally posted by catmandu
That is mazing,you are truly a Poet Lauriet! Methinks not .... I'm merely a plagiarist! Copying from an e-mail that another cat lover sent me. :D

[AbbyMom]

That's so clever! I just printed a copy to show the hubby.


And makes us rather bear our humans' faults

That sooooo describes Becky's attitude toward the human occupants of this house.

[catmandu]

To Eat,or Not To Eat
To Leave this Food,in a bowl
To leave our Dry Food Alone
In hopes,that we will get
Some Tasty Treats
Like Whiskas Temptations,Or Aquari Yums
To fill the void,that is our Big Fat Tums!
JJJ3s Lament.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/FoundCatFollies101.jpg

[catnapper]

:D I liked that! Such drama!

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

I HAVE to get me a Shakespaw book asap!!;)

[Twink]

THANK you for posting that!!! :D :D It just made my morning. Whoever wrote it is my new hero. So says the English major. :D

The whole thing had me delighted, but I about died when I came to "Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;" Genius, sheer genius.
:D :D

[RedHedd]

I HAD to Google Shakespaw .... here's a bit more:

"A proper Manx, as one shall see in a summer’s day."
-- from A Midslumber Mice Dream, Act I. sc. 2; later used in "Midsummer Night's Dream" as "A proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day."

"Can one desire too much of a good string?"
-- from As You Lick It, Act IV. sc. 1; later used in "As You Like It" as "Can one desire too much of a good thing?"

"A dish fit for the cod."
-- from Julie Has Seafood, Act II. sc. 1; later used in "Julius Caesar" as "A dish fit for the gods."

"O Meow, Meow! wherefore art thou Meow?"
-- from No Meow and Julie Ate It, Act II. sc. 2; plagiarized by William "Shakespeare" in his so-called "Romeo and Juliet" as "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"

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Mice acquaint a Manx with strange bedfellows."
-- from The Ten Pets, Act II. sc. 2; plagiarized by William "Shakespeare" as "Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows."

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"That Manx that hath a tail, I say, is no Manx."
-- from The Two Gentle Manx of Verona, Act III, sc. 1

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"A merry cat sleeps all the day."
-- from A Winter's No-Tail, Act IV, sc. 3

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"Wherefore are these toys hid?"
-- from Twelfth Bite, Act I, sc. 3

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"Methought I heard a voice cry, "Sleep more! My pet does need sleep!"
-- from Mypet, Act II, sc. 2

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"Purr... a dish to catch my sole, but I do love thee! and when I love thee not, Chicken is come again."
-- from Cathello, Act III, sc. 3

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"I tasted mice, and now doth mice taste me."
-- from Rat's Yard II, Act V, sc. 5

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"Beware the Iams of March."
-- from Julie Has Seafood, Act I, sc. 2

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"O for tuna, for tuna! all humans call me finicky."
-- from No Meow and Julie Ate It, Act III, sc. 5

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"The better part of velour is destruction"
-- from Henry the Furred, Part I, Act V, sc. 4

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"I will fasten my claws on this sleeve of thine: thou art an elm, my human, I, a vine."
-- from The Calm Me Is An Error, Act II, sc. 2

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"Not that I loved Science Diet less, but that I loved Eukanuba more."
-- from Julie Has Seafood, Act III, sc. 2
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"What is a Manx, if its chief good and market of its time be but to sleep and feed? a feast, and more."
-- from Handlick, Act IV, sc. 4

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"If there were reason for these miseries, then into limits could I bind my mowrroww-wowls."
-- from Bite Us and Run Amuck, Act III, sc. 1

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"I can talk, and speak to him in many sorts of meows."
-- Twelfth Bite, Act I, sc. 2

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"The moist Starkist, upon whose influence the Tuna Empire stands." --Handlick, Act I, sc. 1

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"Sleep, that sometimes shuts up the cat's eye, steal me awhile from the mice's company."
--A Midslumber Mice Dream, Act III, sc. 2

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"This was the most unkindest cat of all."
--Julie Has Seafood, Act III, sc. 2

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"The beast with many attachments butts me away."
--Cleanervacuumus, Act IV, sc. 2

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"That way mattress lies."
--King Oscar Sardines, Act III, sc. 4

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"He that lies on the lap stays for pets."
--The Ten Pets, Act IV, sc. 1

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"All this condo's my stage, and the humans merely players."
--As You Lick It, Act III, sc. 7

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"This mortal carpet I'll ruin."
--Antony and Cleo the Cat, Act V, sc. 2

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"The world's mine Fancy Feast, which I with sharp claws will open."
--The Meows and Whines of Whiskas, Act II, sc. 2

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"I have eaten him out of house and home."
--Henry the Furred, Part II, Act II, sc. 1
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[lizbud]

I loved those.:) This one is cute,


"I will fasten my claws on this sleeve of thine: thou art an elm, my human, I, a vine."
-- from The Calm Me Is An Error, Act II, sc. 2

:D