slleipnir
04-10-2005, 05:40 PM
Sorry, this is going to be a whiney post so you can feel free to ignore it.
I've been feeling very stressed out lately. Things keep building up and building up and the other night I just snapped. I won't get into it here, but it wasn't pretty. I know I worry my dad an awful lot too -sigh- He thinks he makes me sad or something. Sometimes he says stuff that does, but I know he's just trying ot help me.
Anyway. I have finals this week then school is done and over with. My problem is, I'm so stressed out I can't concentrate AT ALL. I haven't studied YET. I'm going to fail. I've never failed like ever, so of course it worries me. I'm starting to just not care, as I don't plan on going to university again for a while anyway.
Plus, I need a new job. I feel that I'm not capible of doing anything so I wonder what jobs there are for me. No one would hire me anyway -sigh- I know, I know, I shouldn't be so negative and I'm sorry cause I know it;s annoying. I really need money and I'm super broke right now. I have Zeke's flyball, crate, obedience, Josie's training, plus I wanna go to ohio next year. I don't have a job rightnow which gives me like any hours so I have all this stuff I can't pay for. Dad told me before he wouldn't pay for it, but he sees I'm so upset I guess so he said he'd pay for it. But it feels like Oh I'm sad so give me everything for free. I hate it. I don't want to be someone who uses depression as an excuse. Not that I am, but you never know, maybe I could...
Then there is friends. A couple of my friends moved out from their parents and pretty much don't talk to me anymore. My best friend blogs about all the fun she has with her friends and here I am not even thought about. I really only have 1 friend I talked to a lot so I'm pretty lonely and just stay in my room all day long. I know that's no way to meet anyone so I can't complain, but it's very hard for me to meet people...
This is getting long and pointless, so I'll try to cut it out. To top everything off, last night my sister had some major issues and she came over in the middle of the night,crying , and beat up. I've never seen anyone so upset before, and naturally, I got very upset seeing my sister like that.
I feel horrible. I'm tired ALL the time, I get little sleep. I sware, if I didn't have my pets I couldn't continue on like this (I know, I'm so weak. I could have it so much worse) I call Josie my Guardian Angel, it seems fitting to me as stupid as it sounds. She lays with me when I'm sad and protects me and makes me smile.
Anyway, I'm finished. Sorry for being a whiney baby
(btw, I am seeing someone, and I am on meds)
I've been feeling very stressed out lately. Things keep building up and building up and the other night I just snapped. I won't get into it here, but it wasn't pretty. I know I worry my dad an awful lot too -sigh- He thinks he makes me sad or something. Sometimes he says stuff that does, but I know he's just trying ot help me.
Anyway. I have finals this week then school is done and over with. My problem is, I'm so stressed out I can't concentrate AT ALL. I haven't studied YET. I'm going to fail. I've never failed like ever, so of course it worries me. I'm starting to just not care, as I don't plan on going to university again for a while anyway.
Plus, I need a new job. I feel that I'm not capible of doing anything so I wonder what jobs there are for me. No one would hire me anyway -sigh- I know, I know, I shouldn't be so negative and I'm sorry cause I know it;s annoying. I really need money and I'm super broke right now. I have Zeke's flyball, crate, obedience, Josie's training, plus I wanna go to ohio next year. I don't have a job rightnow which gives me like any hours so I have all this stuff I can't pay for. Dad told me before he wouldn't pay for it, but he sees I'm so upset I guess so he said he'd pay for it. But it feels like Oh I'm sad so give me everything for free. I hate it. I don't want to be someone who uses depression as an excuse. Not that I am, but you never know, maybe I could...
Then there is friends. A couple of my friends moved out from their parents and pretty much don't talk to me anymore. My best friend blogs about all the fun she has with her friends and here I am not even thought about. I really only have 1 friend I talked to a lot so I'm pretty lonely and just stay in my room all day long. I know that's no way to meet anyone so I can't complain, but it's very hard for me to meet people...
This is getting long and pointless, so I'll try to cut it out. To top everything off, last night my sister had some major issues and she came over in the middle of the night,crying , and beat up. I've never seen anyone so upset before, and naturally, I got very upset seeing my sister like that.
I feel horrible. I'm tired ALL the time, I get little sleep. I sware, if I didn't have my pets I couldn't continue on like this (I know, I'm so weak. I could have it so much worse) I call Josie my Guardian Angel, it seems fitting to me as stupid as it sounds. She lays with me when I'm sad and protects me and makes me smile.
Anyway, I'm finished. Sorry for being a whiney baby
(btw, I am seeing someone, and I am on meds)