Just had a bad argument with my parents because of Lily :(

[Kirsten]

As you know, my situation is stressful enough these days anyway, but now at the top of it, I had a very bad argument with my parents tonight.

Told you before that several times in the past, I got very upset with my step father since he's teasing Lily when he's here, he always gets her startled so that she's afraid of him already. For this reason, I haven't invited them for a long time; since obviously he just cannot respect my wish to leave her alone. We always disagree about the way animals should be treated, and he just cannot understand why I want my cats to live in a peaceful environment, and that I just don't want them to fear anything in their own home.

Anyway, tonight, they showed up here, and we all were in the kitchen (a friend of mine was also there). Lily joined us and opened the sliding door of the kitchen cabinet to "steal" some cat food, as she often does. As usual, she went into the cabinet to eat, with her butt sticking out of the door. And Reinhold, my mother's fiancé, had nothing better to do that tearing on her tail!

Well, and this time, it was really enough for me. I totally lost control, yelled at him and told him to leave my apartment. I know it's bad, 'cause actually he's not such a bad guy, but I don't want him to be around my cats anymore. And I was so hurt that my wish wasn't respected, and that poor Lily has been treated that way while she was happily eating in the cabinet. I swear, all I wanted to do that moment was to protect her. And I had a very stressful day at work today, and a lot of trouble, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

He left, without saying a word, which shows that he was really hurt, and my mother followed him and told me she would never enter my apartment anymore, and that I better do not call her again. Looks like the relationship to my parents is totally ruined now. Actually neither my mother nor I are the unforgiving type, but I feel this time it's something serious. After all, I kicked my parents out of my apartment! I feel so bad. On the other hand, I just can't understand why it's so hard to leave my cats alone!

I mean, Lily is such a relaxed and happy cat, very friendly to visitors and full of self-confidence, and I don't want this to be ruined by my step dad. But the bad thing is that even my mother will never get the point!

I'm sorry for venting, and I know I sound confused, but I really had a long and exhausting day, and I'm tired and sad, and this incident makes it even worse! :(

Kirsten

[Samantha Puppy]

There's nothing wrong with you wanting your cats to be respected in their own home. And if this is a recurring problem, you have every right to be upset. Give it a couple days for everyone to calm down, call your mom and explain to her why you feel the way you do. Maybe Reinhold will FINALLY get it through his head that while he is welcome to come into your home, he is not welcome to tease and torture your kitties.

I don't think that is out-of-line for you to ask.

[ramanth]

I'm so sorry Kirsten.

He may be a nice guy at times, but if he can't respect your wishes, he's a jerk.

*HUGS*

You were in the right, they were wrong.

[catmandu]

First,of all.Kirsten,you are right! There is absolutely,and I mean,absolutely,no reason,in the world,to bully a small animal.You are Lilys Guardian,and your job,to protct her.This fellow,really has something fundamentally wrong,with him,if he thinks,that it is funny,to scare,or potentially hurt,a Creature Of God.I am sorry,that you,and your Mother,are no longer on speaking terms,I hope that that rift heals.I just wish,that my Dear Mother,was there,she would have given Reinhold,a boot,in the pants,if he ever touched,one of our Cats!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/jjmoodi.jpg

[gini]

Kirsten, I would never allow anyone that was in my home to abuse my cats. I would react the very same way if it was a child.

Yes, you are going to do a guilt trip on yourself now.........but you shouldn't.

Your stepfather has been unkind to Lily before and you made it clear then that it was not acceptable.

It still is unacceptable. Maybe now, that you have totally lost it with him, your point may have gotten across.

As for your Mom - well, you are her daughter...........and I think in time she will come around. Perhaps you have her visit you alone without your stepfather.

They need to respect your living space and your wishes.

I would have done the same thing that you did.......enough is enough!

[ladywizz]

I think that you were actually quite calm about the whole thing! If it were me I would have gone into PMT mode.....
The cheek of it!!
What you asked him to do should have been respected the first time you asked him to...not at the point where you loose control and have to kick him out of the house!
Well Done You!!!

[jazzzytina]

Kirsten,I'm in total agreement with everyone here. Your apartment is YOUR domain, and just as your parents want you to respect their wishes and rules when you visit their house, they should show the same courtesy to you, and especially to innocent animals who are just eating.

We all support you here at Pet Talk. Don't beat up on yourself. Things will cool off between you and your mom, but that kind of behaviour from your stepfather is unacceptable.

Hugs - Tina

[jazzcat]

(((HUGS)))

Hopefully your mother will understand but you were within your rights. Sorry he will not respect your wishes.

[slick]

Kirsten:
While totally agree that you did the right thing, I hate to think that your relationship with your Mom and Stepfather is over.

There simply was no excuse for what he did and like the others have said, maybe this will finally get the point across to him. Give it a few days for everyone to cool off, then maybe you might consider talking to them again on the phone and explaining to them how it makes you feel when your wishes are not respected. After all, family is family....but don't feel guilty about what you did.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

[Freckles]

Rather than calling, I would suggest sending them a letter in a few days.
That way, you can explain ALL the reasons why you reacted the way you did.
I fear a telephone call would put them on the defensive immediately, while a letter might give them a chance to think. Then call them (assuming they haven't called you in the meantime.)

[Samantha Puppy]

Originally posted by Freckles
Rather than calling, I would suggest sending them a letter in a few days.
That way, you can explain ALL the reasons why you reacted the way you did.
I fear a telephone call would put them on the defensive immediately, while a letter might give them a chance to think. Then call them (assuming they haven't called you in the meantime.) Good call. I should've thought about that - e-mail is my preferred way of fighting! (I can edit it as much as I want, to sound as benign or as nasty as I want! I don't have to think on my toes like I would on the telephone or in person. LOL) A letter is a good idea.

[Shady]

That's horrible, that certainly wouldnt fly at my house.

Having said that it is YOUR house, your house, your rules.

It's unfortunate it couldnt be done in such a way that everyone was calm, but I probably would have lost it myself, I dont know many people that wouldnt.

There is absolutely no need for cruelty to any living thing in my book, and this was intentional, as it seems you've had words about that in the past.

IMO he acted badly and your mom only went along with perhaps because she has to live with him. I hope they dont have any animals or if they do he doesnt treat them the same way.

Hopefully when things calm down you can straighten it out once and for all, which as suggested previously a letter, to begin with (if you even want to) then follow up however appropriate after that.

It amazes me that some people never learn respect, and in your home you deserve respect as do your pets.

[catmandu]

The Found Cats,are with you,and we know,that our Dad,would protect us.He doesnt allow any one,to smoke,while they are in his home,he loves us that much.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/catphotos003.jpg

[chocolatepuppy]

I have to agree with your decision to put the guy out! No one, absolutely no one will mistreat my furkids or they will be out, I don't care who it is! ;)
I hope you can work things out with your mother when things calm down. :)

[NoahsMommy]

Kirsten,

I would have been outraged!! You did the right thing, for you, Luna and Lily. I cannot believe they would persist over something you obviously feel very strongly about.

Hon, this seems to go further than just what happened last night. Your parents don't seem to respect you and your choices and I think that's the issue you should address if you choose to address this.

Those actions/comments are not right and I highly doubt they would have done the same in another person's home.

A letter is a really good idea. You'll have time to collect your thoughts and they will be organized. You can be non-emotional and get to the point.

Whatever happens from this, we're here for you and support you.

Lots of hugs,
Kelly :)

[wolflady]

Kirsten, I'm sorry that you were put into this situation. I agree with everyone here that you did the right thing. I would never want someone treating my animals poorly in MY home. I also wouldn't behave that way at someone else's home. It's very rude of your step-father to harass your cat after being told not to.
I think writing a letter is a good idea. That way you can explain to them that you enjoy spending time with them and would like for them to continue to visit, but they need to respect you and your wishes when they are in your home. They need to be more adult about the situation IMO.
Do let us know how everything is going.
**hugs**

[RedHedd]

Kirsten, I'm with everyone else here - you did the right thing. You've told him before that you don't appreciate him mistreating your cats - I would have done the same thing you did, including beating myself up afterwards that I'd been too harsh.

Like everyone else has said, give it a day or two to cool off and then send a letter or talk to your mom if you're more comfortable doing that. Your home is your domain - your safe place; your cats are your kids. You and your fur kids have every right to expect to be treated with respect in your own home.

Now go give those two furry beauties some snuggles and kisses from the M's!

[catlady1945]

If people don't respect the household rules, then they are not welcome. How difficult is it to leave the cats alone? He is trying to get under your skin, then pretending he doesn't know why you are angry. Tell them you would be happy to meet them elsewhere to visit, but they cannot come to your home unless they are respectful.

[orangemm]

Kirsten, you have every right to be upset. It's not like he didn't know better!

I agree, writing a letter might be the best way to reach out. However, if he ever sets foot in your home again, I'd make sure the cats were locked away safely in another room.

I tend to be highly suspicious of anyone who enjoys tormenting an animal, no matter if it's even "in jest". It's not funny to the animal. Too bad your cat didn't give him a good swipe of the claws!

[Queen of Poop]

I too agree with everyone else here. He should have respected your request and left the cat alone. You were right to ask them to leave. You should do the letter thing and explain your position, and that you do love them very much but that such behavior will not be tolerated.

Hugs to you and your sweet babies.

[catnapper]

Oh Kisten, what a lousy thing for him to do. I would have reacted in the same manner. It is your home, and you have every right to expect they follow your rules - as they would expect of you in their home.

I am sure your mother will call you. Maybe not for a few days, but she won't stay silent towards you forever.

[kimlovescats]

Kirsten, I know you feel bad about hurting your parents, but they should equally feel bad about hurting your feelings and disrespecting your home and furry FAMILY members over and over again!!! Afterall, you have told them many times previously that this is not appreciated, and yet they still mock at you ... you did the right thing ... and they should understand that they were the ones out of line! I hope you and your mom can mend feelings soon, and just agree to meet elsewhere, on common grounds!

I know alot of what you feel, as my Dad has to sigh or grumble whenever one of my pets enters a room when he is over. I know he has asthma and is highly allergic, but I always put them all away and remove as much hair and dander as possible before he and my mom come over. It just makes me feel so upset that he has to make it obvious of his feelings in MY home. This is one main reason why I just don't have them over much anymore ... or anyone else for that matter, unless I know they are as pet crazy as we are!!!

(((HUGS)))
Kim;)

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by orangemm
Kirsten, you have every right to be upset. It's not like he didn't know better!

I agree, writing a letter might be the best way to reach out. However, if he ever sets foot in your home again, I'd make sure the cats were locked away safely in another room.

I tend to be highly suspicious of anyone who enjoys tormenting an animal, no matter if it's even "in jest". It's not funny to the animal. Too bad your cat didn't give him a good swipe of the claws!
Very well said. Those are two points I ment to mention in my post. (putting the girls away during future visits and to be wary of people that torment animals)

[iloverat]

I don't have any sage advice to give you as so many other PTer's have stepped up and said it all quite well. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry this happened. It is such a bad feeling when things are not right between family members. I hope in time that you and your mother will work everything out.

Too bad Reinhold did not get a swat or a chomp from darling Lily. I had a small dog, Rat, when my nieces were young. One of the girls was 2 yrs old when I and Rat were visiting them. My niece insisted on being rough with Rat, ignoring our admonitions to knock it off. Finally, my niece pulled Rat's tail while Rat was eating. That was that - Rat whirled around and bit my niece's finger. We explained that was why you treat animals carefully and with respect. Believe me, she learned her lesson then! Some people have to learn the hard way....and some never learn at all.

Take care - Bobbi (hugs to you, Lily and Luna)

[moosmom]

I just can't understand why it's so hard to leave my cats alone!

Kirsten,

The above quote says it all. Do NOT feel bad about venting. That's what we're here for.

I think you've been VERY tolerant of your stepfather. I wouldn't have been. You've told BOTH of them time and time again to abide by your wishes to leave Lily alone. It's your responsibility to protect Lily. Your stepfather is either REAL stupid or just plain doesn't care. He owes you AND Lily an apology. Until he does, you're better off without them visiting. Maybe you can agree on neutral grounds. But until your stepfather learns how to treat animals with respect, your place should be off limits.

Sorry you had to go through the hassle.

((((((hugs to you, Lily and Luna)))))))))

[kimlovescats]

Originally posted by iloverat
I had a small dog, Rat, when my nieces were young. One of the girls was 2 yrs old when I and Rat were visiting them. My niece insisted on being rough with Rat, ignoring our admonitions to knock it off. Finally, my niece pulled Rat's tail while Rat was eating. That was that - Rat whirled around and bit my niece's finger. We explained that was why you treat animals carefully and with respect. Believe me, she learned her lesson then! Some people have to learn the hard way....and some never learn at all.

Take care - Bobbi (hugs to you, Lily and Luna)

So that is where your username comes from. I have always wondered! Sounds like Rat was a very special love in your life!;)

[rkidsrcats]

The Tribe and Samson support you totally. Your home is your haven from the stresses of the world and you have put so much love and time into making that home a safe and wonderful place for Luna and Lily. And to have someone repeatedly come into your home and intentionally ignore you and hurt the ones you love is truly out of bounds. You have a right to tell him to leave.
The Tribe would have helped escort him to the door...;)

[gini]

I am starting to think that perhaps you should print all of these replies out - and hand them to your Mom and Stepdad - or mail them with your letter.

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Kirsten, everyone else has said it so well. I understand where you are coming from. Although my parents/husband/my moms side of the family all respect and love animals, I am by FAR the most animal crazy person of us all.
Sometimes, people just dont understand about our passion for animals. We truly love them, we adore them, we even look up to them in many ways. They are our babies, and should be treated with respect by anyone whom respects you. He might not think it is important, but you do, and that should be the main issue to him, your mother, or anyone else who loves you.
You did nothing wrong, honestly. If someone would have so much as touched my animals in a threatening way, or even in a playful (but scary to the animals) way, I would have kicked some butt.

Everyone who knows me knows that there are 3 things you just DONT mess with *Family including pets, friends, and money* ;)
Dont be hard on yourself! Like everyone here said, We support you, understand you, and believe in you. *HUGS* Katie

Please give Lily a kiss for me:)

[kaoK'okung]

OMG!!!!!...Kirsten, you are 150% in the right for what you did and for the way you feel!!...(i'm not so sure i could have been as nice as you, considering how many times you repeated your request for their respect of your wishes)...i had a roomate once who picked up my Shy and threw her across the room, well needless to say i was in his face real quick and was literally held back by another roomate(i planned on planting my fist in his mouth)...anyways, his reply was that she is just a cat..."NO!!". i replied, "she is my family and if you hurt my family, i'm gonna hurt you"...well, he never came close to Shy or Zip again and is neither a friend or roomate any longer...hopefully, like my ex-friend, they will learn how much you love them and will protect them, but hopefully they will come around and realize, that he is in the wrong, and forgive you for rightly acting as you did...(sry for long reply, but this really burned me up...)...your mom will come around you'll see...:)

[catmandu]

You know,taht I could no more,see myself,going to a Persons home,and mistreating thier Pets,than I could seeing myself,playing in Traffic.My Mother,Bless HerMemory,taught us,that picking on anyone,was a mark,of direspect,and the mark,of a Coward,and a Bully.

[Barbara]

I am so sorry Kirsten! I have to agree that it shows they have not enough respect for you. They should respect you, even if they think you are crazy- which nobody here would think as we know better, but it will happen to you in the outside world. Why does he need to be funny in a way that is aggressive towards you (because he attacks you in simply ignoring what you asked him to and not so much Lily)?

I have no idea why- but this is the issue you should think about and work upon.

I hope you can talk to your mom later.

[smokey the elder]

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened! Geez, what part of "Leave my cat alone!" doesn't that guy understand??:mad: I hope you can mend fences, but the bottom line is that he didn't comply with your wishes, and it's your house and your cat!

{{Hugz}}.

[Felicia's Mom]

I'm sorry this happened to Lily.

[jazzzytina]

WE LOVE LILY!!!!!!

[Cataholic]

Kirsten,
I am sorry this happened. However, and I think Barbara, for one, touched on it a little. This ISN"T about cats, and Lily. This is about another adult refusing to respect you, your feelings, and your home.

When you take Lily out of the picture (and ship her to my house), and insert, say, a framed artwork on the wall, and a person that refuses to be careful with it, tosses it around, throws stuff on it...well, it is EASY to see the wrongness.

This person, be it your mom, your stepfather, or a friend, is acting very passive aggressive towards you, and trying to manipulate you and your feelings. This isn't about Lily. This is about your stepfather's own internal issues. If I were one to bet...I would say this is not his only 'quirk'. I would bet he is also like this in other areas...and it just hasn't registered with you.

To feel bad about losing your temper is one thing. And, if you feel so inclined, apologize for the way you reacted, but, not for your actions.

[Kirsten]

Thanks everyone for your reply, this is a huge comfort for me, and it's good to be amongst people who understand...

I guess those who have said there's more about the entire thing than "just" Lily are right. I know that I have never been respected as a person by my parents, neither by my biological father (as long as he was alive) nor by the other men my mother had after my father has died (not that you think it's been that many men, she had one other boyfriend she has also lost by death, and now her fiancé, Reinhold). My mother is acting towards me the same way, and I guess her spouses just pick that up and continue what she's doing. In some way, Reinhold is even nicer to me than my father was, but like my mother, he's not taking me serious. I guess they all have problems with the fact that I've chosen to live with cats instead of husband and kids. They just don't get it (and my mother reacts really hurt when I'm telling her that it's probably the bad experiences I made with my father that made me prefer being single; she doesn't want to hear any of that, most likely because it's makes her feel guilty).

Anyway, it's a good suggestion to write a letter, and to analyze the entire situation. LOL, I would love to print out this thread and show it to them, but none of them is speaking English.

I haven't spoken to them since that yesterday's incident. Last night, my mother sent a message to my cell phone to let me know she cannot sleep, and that I should never yell at Reinhold again, he wouldn't deserve that... (see, she's not getting the point, she only sees that her Reinhold was hurt and treated badly, but she does not see what's the cause). Well, I replied this morning that they should think about why I have reacted that way, and that I have said several times before that I don't want my cats to be teased by him, and that it's obviously a problem for him to respect that wish. Got no reply to that so far, so I guess they are really mad at me.

BTW, they do have animals, one Rottweiler, and a cat. They are proud that both these animals are absolutely following their rules, but their education is based on fear, and not on friendship and respect. At times, Dino (the cat) acts very mean and aggressive, and he hates people (but he loves me, comes into my lap when I'm there, at least as long Reinhold isn't in the same room).

Well, as it seems, there's no other way but meeting them only outside my apartment. We've been at this point before, and they know that I haven't invited them for a while for exactly that reason - and they have learnt nothing!!

Kirsten

[Laura's Babies]

This may be a few days late but MY opinion is I wouldn't write a letter or have ANY communications with them at all, it would be a closed book and the end of that story.

ANYONE who mistreats ANY animal WILL and DOES also mistreat humans, as he has already proven by not respecting your wishes in YOUR home or respecting your fur kid. I personally, prefer NOT to assosciate with people like that since he could put on the appearance of being sorry to get back in your good graces and then continue to mistreat her behind your back.

There seems to be to much negativetivity around your Mom and her choice of men and WHY would you subject yourself to that? I am the sort of person that if a person does not respect ME and mine, I do not want them around me, no matter WHO they are. As much as I loved my Mom, I was forced to tell her several times that if she was going to continue to act like she could get at times, I would NOT be coming around and did not want her at MY house. I just will not tolerate all that, life is to short to live that way. My step Dad I totally banned from my house and being around my children when they were small because of his drinking and fowel mouth... BUT, he knew I loved him and I was always there when he needed me and he knew what lines NOT to cross with me.

I am VERY strict with the people I love and am real quick to draw the lines they better not cross. The first time I would have caught someone being mean to one of my babies, I would have told them the very NEXT time they did that, WOULD be that LAST and the next time, they would no longer be welcome in my home anymore and I would not let them in.... But I know not everybody is like I am and you do what you feel you need to do. NO ONE mistreates MINE under ANY circumstances, no matter WHO it is! (I have dumped many boyfriends over my cats)

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Oh Kirsten, that was a very mean thing what your stepfather did to Lily!! there is absolutely NO excuse for doing that!! You did very good by yelling at him!! if he doesn't get the picture, that's to bad then...! I'm sorry for you that your mom doesn't see what got you so mad...:(

[moosmom]

At times, Dino (the cat) acts very mean and aggressive, and he hates people (but he loves me, comes into my lap when I'm there, at least as long Reinhold isn't in the same room).

THAT says it all!!! Their own animals are afraid of him!!

Reinhold has a big problem with animals, loving and respecting them. I wouldn't be at all surprized if he treats your mother the same way. He sounds like a control freak to me. Some women's self-esteem is so low, they settle for guys like him. They feel they are NOTHING without a man in their life. How do I know??? I USED to be one of those women. Years later I realized that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

I feel sorry for your mother. But I would stick to your guns. It ISN'T about Lily. It's about Reinhold respecting your wishes when he's in YOUR home.

[Randy_K]

You did the right thing and it will probably all work out in the end. You no longer have asked to have your wishes respected, you have demanded to have them respected. If those terms are unacceptable to any of your visitors then you're better off without them in your home. Your mother will get over it.

[Kirsten]

Well, here's a little update:

Reinhold called me on Saturday morning, asking why I haven't called them. I told him that my mother doesn't want me to, and that I'm still upset about the incident. He explained he reacted that way because he found it odd that a cat opens a sliding door and walks into the cabinet. Told him that Lily is allowed to do so, and even if she wasn't, it would have been my turn to tell her, not his, and I would have used other methods but punishment. I don't know if he really got my point, but he better does!

Then he asked me if I would stop by in the afternoon (at their restaurant), and I was reluctant at first, but then I did. My mother acted as if nothing has happened, and I didn't bring up the subject with her since I felt it wouldn't make any sense. When my mother feels defensive (and I'm sure she knew they were wrong), she cannot admit her faults but acts hurt and offended. It would have only led to a new argument, at least at this point. But I have planned to bring this up again when some time has passed.

Actually, I feel I made it too easy for them, but I hope they have learnt that lesson. I don't like being in conflict with somebody, and especially since my mother's sister has suddenly passed away last fall, I realized that my mother isn't the youngest anymore (64), and that she might not be there anymore one day.

moosmom, Reinhold is indeed a control freak when it comes to animals, but not with the women he lived with. It's more the other way around. When he was still married (his wife has died), he didn't have much to say in that relationship (he told me that when I yelled at him, he thought he'd see his wife in front of him). My mother isn't that bad, but still the one who's wearing the trousers. Guess he doesn't have much self confidence when it comes to people (he grew up in an orphanage), and I figure that's why he has to show to animals (who he considers to be lower creatures) that he's the boss. Sad.

Kirsten

[catcrazylady]

Kirsten I'm glad the peace has started and I'm especially glad that they initiated it. They knew they were in the wrong or they never would have made the first move.
I think you may have really gotten point across this time. At least I hope so!
It is wonderful of you to understand the reasons behind Reinhold's behavior. It doesn't make it right but understanding why makes you a better person.
I agree with you that if it's possible you should try to resume relations with them. She is your mother and you are so right when you say the day will come when she will no longer be here. I would hate to think that later you would have regrets if you didn't attempt to mend fences.
They still MUST abide by your rules in your home. That is simple respect and everyone deserves that. Even though you are a grown woman they still see you as a "child" and are not regarding your feelings. That is wrong on their part and that needs to change.

You are a wonderful person, a wonderful kitty meowmie, and I'm sure a wonderful daughter. Don't ever forget that Kirsten. Every person deserves to have their wishes respected and absolutely in their own home. Stay firm in your beliefs but keep peace whenever you can. You are the bigger and better person for it.
{{{HUGS}}}

[Kirsten]

(((CCL))) Thank you!!!

Kirsten

[gini]

Originally posted by catcrazylady
They still MUST abide by your rules in your home. That is simple respect and everyone deserves that. Even though you are a grown woman they still see you as a "child" and are not regarding your feelings. That is wrong on their part and that needs to change.

You are a wonderful person, a wonderful kitty meowmie, and I'm sure a wonderful daughter. Don't ever forget that Kirsten. Every person deserves to have their wishes respected and absolutely in their own home. Stay firm in your beliefs but keep peace whenever you can. You are the bigger and better person for it.
{{{HUGS}}}

Kirsten, I could not have said this better myself. I am happy that this has taken a turn for the better for you. But do stay firm on the ground rules for your home and pets.

[catmandu]

If that Fellow,thinks,that Animals are inferior,he is wrong.But sadly,there are far too many,that agree,with him.My Mother cured me,of that by making,me read about an experiment done on a Mother Cat,that was wired,that if her Kittens,nursed,on her,they would.get a shock.The Kittens had alternate food,but wanted thier Mommy.Then,one day,the Mother Cat,was nursing her Kittens! They were shocked,to see that That Cat,had chewed through her wrist,until the wiring was no longer connected,and then she would be able,to love,and comfort her Babies!After that,I tried,never,to see Animals,as lesser beings!

[Kfamr]

I know exactly how you feel. When my aunt, who used to dislike dogs very much, first moved down here and started visiting a lot.. she'd basically, in my opinion, terrorize the dogs.

They couldn't move in their own home, couldn't sit on their furniture, couldn't "eat too loud", play too loud, couldn't do what they wanted (of course what they wanted to do are what they are generally allowed to do under my rule)

She'd completely run their lives and mine. My parents never understood WHY I was so angry with her all the time. They'd get mad at me for not wanting to come out of my room when she was over (i'd take the dogs and sit in my room the whole night until she left)
I don't know HOW many arguments we've gotten into over the years.

After years and years, she's finally understood how much my dogs mean to me. This past Christmas she made me a "Certificate of Appreciation" "from" the dogs to me as my gift. It's very cute and involves completely my dogs - it's signed as "Three Greatful Dogs". That's HUGE step and i've got to say she's my favorite aunt now. She will even pet the dogs and let them sit by her. She's said that if she HAD to have a dog that she'd want that dog to be one of mine.

Anyways, sorry for blabbering on in your thread. All I meant to say is that I understand how you're feeling because it happened with me for a long while.
Hopefully your situation will turn out as nicely as mine, and Lily can peacefully live in her own home with friendly visitors.

[kaoK'okung]

Kirsten...so glad to hear that this situation may have a happy ending after all!!!!...is it promising to you that Reinhold made the first move???...(i certainly hope that he has learned a valuable lesson), but if it bothers you that they may have swept the issue under the rug, i agree with you that you should talk about it with them at some point...yes, life is so short...(my mom passed at 63)...so i am really happy for you, i hope the relationships only grow from here, and it must be quite a weight of of your shoulders....:) :)

[Laura's Babies]

I am so glad to hear it has been somewhat resolved. Just stand your ground if it ever happens again!.... and I really hope it don't, for ALL of you.