my parents.. suck.

[bckrazy]

I just got home from the SPCA with my mom, at about 7:30. My dad and stepmom were completely pissy, on top of that my report card came tonight. I got 2 A's, 3 B's and a C. and they were flipping out :mad:! I'm behind about .2 credits in a few assignments, so I'm grounded. Just last year I was getting D's as a high point... they're just searching for things to pick at and yell about it. Especially my stepmom... OMG. you are NOT my mother.

Anyway, as I'm grounded, no more PT (or very little) for a month or so.. :(. And, just when I was a second away from getting my license and a car, that is postponed at least until summer... good day for me! ;)! My parents are such unbelievable tards... sorry I had to vent until my friend Morgan gets on aim..

[Logan]

I'm a mom, so you probably wouldn't like my reaction, either. :o

I expect all A's from my daughter. I don't have a lot to say about my stepchildren because they are not with us most of the time, but so far, they are making all A's too. If I knew that my daughter was giving her studies 100% effort and she still made a B, then I'd be ok with it (and have been in the past). But a C? No way! We'd get a tutor for that class, or work with her, ourselves, in the evenings. She'd lose her computer privleges and her cell phone, first, then other things would follow if she couldn't pull her grades up. Thankfully, we haven't had to deal with that because she does work hard and keeps those grades high, with lots of other things going on in her life.

Good grades will pay off so much in the future when you consider college (and I hope you are considering college). But I completely understand how easy it is for grades to slip as I was you a long time ago and I was not the best of students at all. :o

Good luck to you and please try and understand that your parents (dad and stepmom) are looking out for your best interests......I'm sure of it! :)

Best intentions,
Logan

[anna_66]

Well I'm not a parent but if I would have gotten those grades when I was younger my parents would have been happy! Of course I hated school and was very lucky if I got an A.
But Logan is right, it will definately pay off if you study hard and get into college. Might not seem like it now, but when you are my age (39) I don't think you'll want to be waitressing like I am now with no career future:o

[Desert Arabian]

Originally posted by bckrazy
I got 2 A's, 3 B's and a C

I'd faint if I saw those grades on my report card, I would be the happiest kid in Wisconsin.

*Looks at her report card and cries*....let's just say this last semester I slacked off reallllllllllllly bad, don't plan on doing that again!! Didn't fail any classes though, but the grades could be higher!

I'm kicking myself in the butt now and getting into gear, I gotta get back that B+ GPA I've had for ages...:p

[Karen]

In my family, any report-card grade lower than a B got you grounded for a week. It was a rule that was in place before I even hit Kindergarten, as I have older siblings. I never got a C on a report card, but I know if I had tried my hardest and still gotten a C, it would have been understood. I would have been tutored at home (Dad for math/science, he's an engineer, Ma for English/writing) and made to learn for my own good, believe me. Every generation in my family tree has had teachers in it for at least 4 generations - learning WILL happen!

Learning good study habits now will serve you well in the future, whether or not you go to college, learning is a life-long process.

Sorry your folks are being so annoying right now. I hope they relent soon and let you back on Pet Talk, at least. Tell them we're all encouraging you in school! Maybe they each just have been having a bad day and unintentionally took it out on you?

[CathyBogart]

Why is it that a C is supposed to be average but people still go crazy about it? The pressure my parents put on me made me shy away from school all the more, and I've had to make up for it in college...Still, I would much rather have it this way. I set my own pace, and my own goals, and I have done well for myself.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Im sorry, but calling your parents "tards" is NOT very nice.....

[caseysmom]

Maya and Inka's mommy...I am a 43 year old mom of teens...I have met bccrazy...she is a cool teen just venting...imho.....

Bccrazy...you may want to remind your folks that you are still on the honor roll with those grades...

[GraciesMommy]

Agree with the other mom's...being one myself...2 of my own and 2 step:D

[dukedogsmom]

I don't think your grades are bad at all! Especially since you've improved so much. I'm not a parent but if I were, I would NEVER expect any child of mine to have an all A report card. I think that's extremely unfair and unrealistic. I would, however, expect them to do their very best. Other than you being behind on a couple of projects, I don't understand why you're being grounded. Maybe the month will go fast. Just try and accept it and have a good attitude about it so they won't find more things wrong, you know?

[PJ's Mom]

Originally posted by dukedogsmom
I would, however, expect them to do their very best.

That's what I tell mine. Try your hardest. This is all I ask. :)

[cali]

yikes that sucks, I have NEVER gotten an A in my life, and I am extremly Happy if I get 1 B lol my average is C's and D's as long as Im not failing my parents are happy, in fact my dad takes me out for supper lol my mom was an honou student in school, my dad however was a dropout, and my brother is a dropout so as long as I graduate my parents are happy lol I never understood the whole if you donts get straight A's your grounded thing, that would not help me, I can work really hard on something and barly pull off a 50, I think those kind of rules are insanly stupid. when I was failing history last year, nneeded at least an 80% on my final to pass the class, so I went to my friends house and I studied, out loud, for 4 hours straight, I passed that class with a 60% however that would not have helped me on writing assignments lol I cant write worth crap so anything above a 70 in english is unbeleivable lol

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Originally posted by caseysmom
Maya and Inka's mommy...I am a 43 year old mom of teens...I have met bccrazy...she is a cool teen just venting...imho.....

Bccrazy...you may want to remind your folks that you are still on the honor roll with those grades...

Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh...! I have 2 teens too (15 and 19), so I know they need venting. But I would be really hurt if I would hear them calling me those names...:( . Maybe I am oldfashioned?

I agree with the grades: they are good!!

[My Peanuts]

I'm sorry you are not having a good day.
As far as the grades go, I think what my parents did is the only way to do it. I was NEVER pressured to get A's, but my cousin was. If my parents could see that I was trying they would think a C was great if that was my best. My cousin on the other hand would bring home tests with 95% on them and get asked "So where's the other 5%?" Long story short, I went to college & I have a business and economics degree, and I have a job in my field. She never went to college (barely graduated high school), is unemployed and lives at my house (I hope she never sees this). In all fairness, she did just get accepted to a college, but we will see if she follows through with that.
Just my 2 cents.

[ramanth]

I'm sorry they are harsh on you about the grades. Thankfully, my parents weren't. They knew some subjects were harder for me than others. I even went to them for help on my homework and they were just boggled!

I was an A/B student. A few C's here and there. Only one D in my life and that was Chemistry. They were dissapointed but I was more dissapointed in myself. And frustrated. I just couldn't get it.

Just take a deep breath. :)

[Logan]

Originally posted by cali
yikes that sucks, I have NEVER gotten an A in my life, and I am extremly Happy if I get 1 B lol my average is C's and D's as long as Im not failing my parents are happy, in fact my dad takes me out for supper lol my mom was an honou student in school, my dad however was a dropout, and my brother is a dropout so as long as I graduate my parents are happy lol I never understood the whole if you donts get straight A's your grounded thing, that would not help me, I can work really hard on something and barly pull off a 50, I think those kind of rules are insanly stupid. when I was failing history last year, nneeded at least an 80% on my final to pass the class, so I went to my friends house and I studied, out loud, for 4 hours straight, I passed that class with a 60% however that would not have helped me on writing assignments lol I cant write worth crap so anything above a 70 in english is unbeleivable lol

Getting by is one thing, but excelling and putting every effort into getting through high school is another. It just helps so much in future years, I promise, that it is worth it to put the extra effort in now. You can never go back and retrieve it. I'm speaking from experience, here, nothing else, I promise.

To be rewarded for C's and D's, in my opinion, is wrong. If those grades are ones that have been brought up from F's, YES, rewards are due, with a goal of keeping on pushing to get them higher. But A's and B's are the goal, in my opinion. Everyone won't get them, for sure. But that needs to be the goal. My feeling is that the #1 goal for any high school student needs to be their academic achievement, regardless of outside interests. I can only say this from the experience I'm having with my 8th grader, but I know that she is not overworked at this point and if her grades slip, then we have to make adjustments on her time and priorities. Thankfully, we have never had to take anything away from her, so far. Next year might bring a whole new set of issues, though, when she is in high school. I guess we'll see.

Just wish you the best. Keep plugging away and striving to do your best work.

Logan

[ramanth]

Oh... I just remembered.... this will make you smile.

I was babysitting my bosses kids last night and was helping their daughter with her homework. She's in first grade. Well, her mom told me all she had to do tonight was spelling and making sentances with a list of words she was given.

Well, afterwards, Maddie wanted to do her math.

I couldn't even figure out the instructions!! :eek: :o :rolleyes:

I have a college degree and I can't do first grade math.

We decided math could wait till her parents got home. ;)

[Corinna]

As a mom of 2 adult kids and a lousy student I under stand all sides . I would have been exstatic to have gotten that card.
If fact my grades were so bad that mom said getting my drivers license and just the douplima was good enough. (may have had something to do with the terrible school we had too)
Thats why I homeschooled my kids they each had speacil talents . one was so far a head for their age , the other the oppisite But together we managed to get all through it and now they have to make the choice to get their GEDs . I think you deserve a atta girl for bringing those grades up. But also maybe they know you can do more and better.

[Logan]

Corinna's post just proves that our expectations are all over the board.

My daughter has proven herself to be a straight A student, so that's what I expect. And I know, in my heart, that all students aren't straight A students. My expectations for my daugher are set on her past achievements. That's why my expectations are set so high. I watch her and know that she is not having to work overly hard to achieve straight A's, therefore, if she doesn't get them, then I will cut back on some things that I think are distracting her, in order that she spend more time on school work than on IM or cell phone calls with her buddies. Thank goodness, I haven't had to do that, so far. But her dad, and I, quiz her about how she is doing, constantly. We may not be in the same house, but our goal is the same, and it keeps her on her toes. It is important to her that she achieve good grades so that she can get into the college of her choice, one that will be tough to enter. I'm glad she has that goal in mind, as an 8th grader.

Much love and support to you,
Logan

[slleipnir]

I've never been grounded for poor grades. I always tried to do well in school though. however, I also never got anything but 'That's ok' or such things even if I did really well.
...then again, I've never really been grounded..ever. :o

[cali]

lol well lets see my brother proved himself to be an A and B student if he got less he got a big lecture etc.. he dropped out in grade 10. I go to a private school, they mark way harder then other schools, in fact according to a study most B and C students would be A students at any other high school, we start first year univarsity work in grade 11, getting by IS my goal, passing with a 50% and I am happy lol but I also know that I have a larger work load then 2nd or 3rd year univarsity students, and I am only in grade 12. its a school geared toward univarsity, oddly enugh I have no intention now nor have I ever had any intention of going to univarsity lol I am just not motivated for school, not at all, I want to graduate and that is my full blown goal lol I am more interested in hanginf out with friends, and more intrested in animals, if I have no intrest in something, it shows, big time lol I know that I CAN do better, I simply dont want to :p yes I get rewarded for C's and D's and no that is not up from an F but I am also not afraid of report cards, and infact I love getting them, not because I get rewarded, actually I hate being acknowledged by my parents for stuff I do, its for my own satisfaction, everyone I know who is pressured dreads report cards, and I would hate that feeling. my teachers have high standered from us, they are stricter then my parents lol once in math in grade 10 anyone whp got below 80 on their test had to write a note to there parents saying why and get in signed and bring it back, I got a 74 on that test, so I took the note to my mom she signed it and could not figer out how on earth 74 is supposed to be a bad mark lol

[wolfsoul]

Originally posted by YellowLabLover
I'd faint if I saw those grades on my report card, I would be the happiest kid

Me too! My mom is just happy to hear that I pass. All I need is 50% and I'm out of the hole.

[Kfamr]

Wow, some of the responses in this thread honestly sicken me. I got straight C's on my most recent report card. I TRIED MY HARDEST, studied, did my assignments.. yet got C's.

Parent's DO NOT understand what it is like to be a child in school these days. NOT AT ALL. I don't care if they had to "walk 5 miles in the snow with one shoe on", it is NOT easy to get straight A's, in highschool especially, to be a teenager or child in today's society.

And, being angry when a child is failing DOES NOT HELP. AT ALL. Taking away things that make them happy DOES NOT HELP. Children want support, emotional support especially, and understanding. Being angry and upset, grounding even, does not help at all. It makes you want to give up, especially when you KNOW you've tried your hardest and you still failed and on top of it get chewed out by your "parents".


I do not plan on going to college. I actually spoke with my mother the other day about school, and she said she'd like for me to graduate, but either way she'll still be there for me no matter what. I like that, a lot, because I HATE when parents are so pressuring.

I plan to let my child live their life how THEY want to, not how I want them to... Meaning they can chose their own job, they can choose whether or not they wish to be a part of a religion, ect.. Of course with the exception of doing things that are harmful to them or others. They'll have to go to school, and atleast get passing grades, but no way will I pressure them into getting straight A's. If that's their goal, terrific, but it's not MY decision when it comes to setting THEIR goals.

[wolfsoul]

I agree Kay --- I try really hard, but can't help it when I fail. The counsellor thinks I have a learning disorder but the school doesn't care what I have. I get treated the same way anyone else does, and when I fail for it, it doesn't matter how hard I tried. My mother yells at me, threatens me, tells me I'm stupid. It's hard to hear what parents and teachers tell you and not feel depressed at the same time. When I get yelled at for failing a subject, I feel really bad about myself, and to be honest I think that makes me do worse. I know that if my mother ever expected me to get straight A's, I would be be so anxious and uptight all the time. I would be so afraid. School can be really difficult. I'm lucky to have a highschool that is filled with nice people that accept eachother. No bullying, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that it is a very high-stress enviornment and at the end of the day I just wish I could curl and and fall asleep and never wake up. Parents always say ''Just wait until you have to work." I've worked -- got up at 3 in the morning, and spent 12 hours on my aching feet with only an hour break. Then go home and sleep for hours because I'm so tried and weak. Every single day. And I would rather do that ten million times than be at school.

[Samantha Puppy]

Wow. Some of the stuff said in this thread is pretty shocking to me.

For those of you who are just coasting through, getting the bare minimum needed to pass... do you know what you are setting yourself up for in the future? You are at an advantage now because teachers are so much less willing to fail students and they keep getting pushed through but guess what? When you enter the work force and you attempt to coast through and not pull your weight - you get fired. Listen to me. I am not old, it hasn't been that long since I've been out of high school. But you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of menial jobs if all you ever do is "settle".

As for parents "pressuring" their children... it's only because they want better for their children than what they have. You'll come to realize this - I have and I'm not a mother yet. Your parents don't want you to live from paycheck to paycheck, working yourself into an early grave, working at a job you hate, etc. They want you to happy, but they want to know that you will be okay and taken care of when they aren't around anymore. THAT'S what the pushing is for. Not because they're jerks and don't understand you. The older you get, the more you realize that they actually *DO* understand you more than you think. Your body ages. Your mind does not. Trust me. Please.

You also have to think beyond just yourself. What if you dropped out of high school and/or didn't get a college degree. You fall in love, get married, and have kids. You are lucky enough to find a man whose salary alone could support you and the kids without you having to work. Someone crashes into him on the way to work one day and God forbid, he dies. You are left to raise, support, and provide for a family with NO fallback! Is that fair to your children? OR if that scenario doesn't seem like it fits into your dreams for your future right now, replace the children with your parents. Say something happens to them, your husband is gone, you work at McDonald's and your parents need money. Wouldn't you like to be able to give back to them after all they've done for you?

Give it another 10 years... you guys will start to realize what I'm saying. Believe me. Ten years ago, I was 16 and I rolled my eyes when my parents said that they could relate to me ("No one knows what it's like to be a teenager these days! It's sooooo different from the 60s!" - but guess what? It isn't so much. The fashion changes, but the minds of teenagers don't...). I rolled my eyes when my parents told me to think about the future and realize that one day, I wouldn't just be responsible for myself but for my children as well. You just don't think of that stuff when you're your age, because you only hear it from your parents (whom you dismiss) and your same-age friends who feel the same way you do. If I had known someone my age now (26) and told me stuff like this when I was 16, I would've really listened, taken it into account and changed some of the decisions I ultimately ended up making.

Your parents aren't out to get you. And there is a WORLD of difference between your world right now and the real world. Please trust me on this. I'm not demeaning any of you, but you have so much yet to learn that you can only learn by living and experience.

[sammy101]

My parents are very supportive of my grades.I have never been grounded for getting a C.My lowest grade i've ever gotten on my Report card was a C.Most the time i get A's & B's,but theres that one class i cant do well in(SCIENCE:eek: )im horrible in science.But everything else i do well in.
Lots of my friends here get grounded b/c they get a C.i think that is just Wrong!!Taking away privleges is not right.its not going to help there kid pass.I plan on going to College,i dont know for how long,it depends what i want to do.My parents are always supportive of me,and want to get me the help i need.

btw-We have to pass with a 70 or above here:eek:

[wolfsoul]

There are colleges and courses that don't require good grades or certain highschool courses. The dog grooming course I'm going to take only requires you to have graduated or have your GED. The Okanagan University College requires that you have a C average.

I am in no way "settling" when I get bad grades. I try REALLY hard. I have a real problem that prevents me from doing well in my classes that require me to do certain things. Unfortunatly schools don't evaluate each student and put them in to classes accordingly, and MY school doesn't offer students counselling or Learning Assistance unless by appointment weeks in advance. Otherwise I might be doing better, as well as many other students. Anyone who really tries is capable of doing very well. But sometimes there are other factors that just make it so hard. The school doesn't care if you can't concentrate because you are so hungry and can't afford food. It doesn't matter if your parents beat you or if you are being bullied, or if you have a learning disorder --- they will find you outside help, but in the mean time, your grades are still suffering, and that is not their problem. They grade you the same way as everyone else, and that is that. They don't look at the straight A's I had all through elementary school and middle school and then suddenly wonder why I'm failing everything. Because its not their problem. Highschool is a very hard place these days, and you are very correct, Samantha_Puppy, it will make or break you. But school is not just there for education purposes -- they make this clear by providing us with dances, free days, fun days, parties, etc -- it should be there to truly help us. If they want us to be a good impression for everyone going out on their own, then they should truly care about us and help us with our problems. They also make it very clear that they want us to pass and succeed People fail things for a reason, and it isn't always because they don't try hard enough.

[Kfamr]

I KNOW what you're saying, Jaime.. but...

Teachers are MORE than willing to fail students. I've even had teachers say, while kids were failing.. "Oh well, I get paid either way".. And when a child is failing, maybe by .1%, they'll still fail them. They let them fall asleep in class everyday, even refuse to give them make-up work when they've been out.

I know parents want what's best for their children, but taking away things that make them happy is NOT helpful. AS A CHILD who experiences crap like this on a day to day basis, with her father, being angry because of grades DOES NOT HELP. It makes me feel worthless and as if no matter what I do ( and I TRY my hardest) will never be good enough. It makes you feel like scum.
I've never personally settled with a D or F. I always try to get atleast a C, and when I do i'm especially proud of myself. B's and A's are like trophies for me. when I get them i'm very happy. D's and F's? I'm upset, especially after trying my hardest.. and after beating myself up over it, I do NOT need anyone else doing it for me, especially people who are "so understanding" like my parents.

No, my parents will never understand what it's like to be a child going to school, my school especially, if they never listen. Listening is key in a relationship, between anyone. You've got to listen to the other side, and after you've listened you've got to be helpful.

Not everyone has to live life in a sky-rise executive building with a shiney BMW in the parking garage.

I think about my future all the time. I discuss it with my parents all the time.

NO ONE will know what it's like for a specific person to go through highschool, unless you are that person.
There's kids who love school - get straight A's, as their choice... and are perfectly happy.
There's kids who hate school - get straight A's, as their parent's choice.. and are miserable.
There's kids who drop out of school, got straight F's, and are far more successful than most.
And so on..

Every person's different.. every person learns differently.. Teacher's in general don't care. I've had maybe, 3 or 4 teachers in my whole highschool career who actually gave somewhat of a damn. That's 3 or 4 out of around 24+. Guess what? I passed their classes with A's everytime.

Most of the things I do in school my parents or neighbors the same age as them have absolutely NO clue how to even attempt them. It's far harder than anything they've ever done. It's especially hard to maintain an A with highschool exams.

These are my exact grades, and how they went...
I got a B in Ecology, a C on my exam.. got a C as a final grade..
I got a B in Health, a D on my exam.. got a C as my final grade..
I got a A in Spanish 2, D on my exam.. got a C as my final grade..
I got a B in Personal Fit, F on the exam.. got a F as my final grade..
Almost on all of my repost cards it stated "Failure due to low test scores"

I'm horrible with tests. I could sit there and answer questions all day, but when it comes time to take the test.. I freeze up, get nervous. 99.9% of that is because i'm pressured into getting the best grade possible, not the grade that I AM capable of doing.
I'd understand if the child was getting into trouble on a daily basis, doing bad things, using drugs, ect.. But i'm not that type of child and I feel I should get support no matter if I get 100% A or 60% F, but instead I get pressured into things i'm sometimes not capable of doing.


Sorry for getting so into this bckrazy.. I just know exactly how you feel and i'm sorry so many of us kids have to deal with it.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Every generation has said..."my parents don't understand me!"...my parents don't understand what it is like to be a kid today!" And it is true. But it doesn't mean today, or yesterday or the day before it was any easier...nor any harder.

If realistic expectations are not set for a child...and the child held accountable for achieving those expectations... what a disservice to the child!

Life after school is all about expectations being set and results measured....in employment and in relationships for that matter.

And frankly, I think it is that lack of responsiblity and lack of accountability that makes being a kid today "so hard." Getting an education is YOUR JOB and there are consequences in life for doing or not doing what is expected of you.

I deal with too many employees who are absolutely SHOCKED when there are consequences -- because that never happened to them before.

[Logan]

Some of these replies make me very sad for your futures because I believe you to be such bright, caring people. I'm going to back off now. Good luck to all of you. :(

[Suki Wingy]

:(
I would be SO upset!! Before I found PT my parents banned me from all computers when I wasgetting two Ds and an F.
Now I am getting an A or two, a few Bs a C, and one D. The D is in math, Algebra 1 to be exact. I go into every test and quiz thinking I know everything and then somehow always get a 60% or something. I am alowed on the Internet/Computer now because my parents know I am TRIYING MY HARDEST and going into the resourse center for math all the time. I think as long as you really try, you should never be punished. After all, you are doing your best!

[christa]

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
Every generation has said..."my parents don't understand me!"...my parents don't understand what it is like to be a kid today!" And it is true. But it doesn't mean today, or yesterday or the day before it was any easier...nor any harder.

Life after school is all about expectations being set and results measured....in employment and in relationships for that matter.

And frankly, I think it is that lack of responsiblity and lack of accountability that makes being a kid today "so hard." Getting an education is YOUR JOB and there are consequences in life for doing or not doing what is expected of you.

Very well stated . . . and something that needed to be said!

[Kfamr]

Logan, you have no need to worry of my future. Just because i'm not a straight A student like your daughter does not mean i'll be a failure in the future. I have goals and dreams and I WILL fulfill em, no matter my education.

[cali]

wow kay, I think you would do well at my school, most of the teachers are great, and are like best friends to the students if people are failing they realize they are doing something wronge and ask the class what we think they should do to make it better. some of the teachers are crappy but with others I do really well, for example in grade 9 I barley passed math with that teacher, in grade 10 I have a doffernt teacher and had an 82% in grade 11 and now 12 I have had this one teacher is is just amazing, she always showed us easier ways of doing things and almost everybody passed with 85% and above, and there is no passing you just because at my school, they do not allow that. I have a differnt math teacher now math 30C, she is also a good teacher, and even though I need the class for nothing whatsoever, exept a filler, I am getting through easy, math has always been my absolute worst subject ever. for history/SS in elementry I was just barly above an F litterally, in grade 9 I had a 62%, grade 10 with a differnt teacher, 82%, grade 11 with another new teacher, 60%, now grade 12 with the same teacher as grade 10 and I am finding things really easy. English I had A's in elemtry school, highschool? my highest I think is a 78% and that was last report card, my normal english grades are between 52% and 73% , sciance I did well in in elemtary school, in high school I was ALWAYS very bottom in the class, I could work on a project for litterly months and would still get the lowest marks in the class while people who did theirs overnight are getting invited to national fairs lol and I am not exadurating, I LOVED science, it was my favorite subject, highschool made me throw my dream out the window for good. a pass is 50% here if a passing grade was 70% I would be in summer school every year.

[aly]

My parents expected straight A's from me and were disappointed with B's. Even as early as 1st or 2nd grade, they had pressure on me. It was so annoying, but I am very appreciative that they did that. Because of them, I was able to be in all Honors and AP (college) classes in juinor high and high school and graduate with straight A's. They also gently nudged me to belong to school organizations and sports. It all greatly prepared me for college and I was so grateful to be accepted to every single college I applied to and have a choice of where I went.

I hated to see my parents so disappointed when I didn't do good so that made me try harder. They weren't slave drivers or anything, but they did (and still do) have high expectations for me.

I was annoyed by it a lot while I was growing up, but I am thankful for it today. It wasn't TOO long ago that I was in school so I know how hard it is. My heart goes out to all you teenagers and preteens who are going through parental issues. Just remember they love you and want the best for you :) (in most cases anyway :( )

[meowmieto2kitties]

I am a parent and I don't expect all A's from my kids...as long as I know they are doing their best,,I don't expect anything more than that...I hate putting pressure on kids like that...

[animal_rescue]

bckrazy, sorry your parents are like that. I do wish I had your grades though, I'm a C average student!

I hate when my mom pressures me! Gah, my last report card was awful, no I just want to quit High School, no matter though my parents won't let me.

[slleipnir]

I don't get it. :confused: Just cause you're not a straight A student does not mean your life is ruined? I know of a lot of people who didn't do well in school and didn't go to college/university and they have wonderful jobs and care very bright people.

Education is VERY over estimated, and it makes me sick. We go to college because society tells it it's what we need to do to make a go at life. My dad repeated tells me I don't NEED to go to university. He says I should do what I love even if it's not the best paying job.

Don't be a sheep if you don't want to

[aly]

Its true that you can be very successful without a college education, but it does open up TONS of doors for you. Most jobs do require certain degrees. Having a good education with good grades just makes success that much easier. Its not to say you CAN'T be successful without it though.

[Logan]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Logan, you have no need to worry of my future. Just because i'm not a straight A student like your daughter does not mean i'll be a failure in the future. I have goals and dreams and I WILL fulfill em, no matter my education.

Kay, my last comment was in no way directed at you, specifically. All I said was that since my daughter has proven that she can be a straight A student, she has set our expectations at that level, and she hasn't had to work terribly hard to maintain that status. So for her to bring home lower grades would mean that she needs to put a little more effort into it. That's all I was saying. Next year, when she starts high school, it could all change. If she worked really hard and couldn't achieve straight A's, I wouldn't fault her for that at all! I think I got straight A's once in my whole life, in the 4th grade!! :o

It's those who don't seem to care that worry and upset me the most because I know they are caring, bright people and are capable of doing well. Yes, that includes you because I believe you to be one of the brightest, most caring and most outstanding young people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I know I'm an "old lady" and I'm coming from a mother's point of view in this. But I've lived it and I just know that although it isn't a popular view, having a college diploma will help in the future for all of you. I don't even do what I studied for a living now, but having that diploma opened some doors for me that otherwise would not have been opened. It is certainly not a necessity, but I do believe it helps. I'll shut up now, but hope I gave a little more insight into where I'm coming from.

[CathyBogart]

Nothing in life says that you have to have a four year degree to be a success. One of my best friends has never gone to college, but because he is intelligent and skilled makes $80,000 a year doing what he loves.

I would like to have a four year degree eventually...but I'm setting my own pace, and doing it slower than most people. My parents may not be thrilled with this, but I am. I have realistic goals that make me challenge myself but not stress or burn myself out. If it takes me a few extra years to meet those goals, big deal!

I am using that time to save money, and enjoy myself.

Now then, I'm off to study for my anthropology project...

[Samantha Puppy]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Teachers are MORE than willing to fail students. I've even had teachers say, while kids were failing.. "Oh well, I get paid either way".. And when a child is failing, maybe by .1%, they'll still fail them. They let them fall asleep in class everyday, even refuse to give them make-up work when they've been out.The teachers may be saying that to rile those around them (though I know there are bad eggs out there, I'm not saying all teachers are saints). However, like numbers matter to you (60% on a test, etc.), numbers matter to teachers too. If they have a steady number of failures in their classes every year it doesn't reflect poorly on the children, it reflects poorly on the teacher. Their pay could be docked, they could be required to take refresher courses, etc. So while I'm not saying I don't believe some teachers out there don't care and would say that, I have to believe that most of them care enough about a steady income and respect among their colleagues to let it happen often.


I know parents want what's best for their children, but taking away things that make them happy is NOT helpful. AS A CHILD who experiences crap like this on a day to day basis, with her father, being angry because of grades DOES NOT HELP. It makes me feel worthless and as if no matter what I do ( and I TRY my hardest) will never be good enough. It makes you feel like scum.
I've never personally settled with a D or F. I always try to get atleast a C, and when I do i'm especially proud of myself. B's and A's are like trophies for me. when I get them i'm very happy. D's and F's? I'm upset, especially after trying my hardest.. and after beating myself up over it, I do NOT need anyone else doing it for me, especially people who are "so understanding" like my parents.And that's where a happy medium must be found. To be honest, my parents were a lot like yours sounds. If I tried my absolute best and did everything I possibly could to prepare for a test and still came home with a D or F, I didn't get in trouble. They signed it, talked to me about why I didn't do well (like you, I was a horrible test-taker), and told me that they were proud of me for trying. It was the tests that I'd bring home to have them sign, that they had no knowledge of (which meant I hadn't prepared) that I got in trouble over. And rightfully so, looking back - though at the time I thought they were horrible and not the least bit understanding and mean. Eventually, I got it through my thick skull that I didn't like it when that happened so by mid-sophomore year, I studied for my tests.


No, my parents will never understand what it's like to be a child going to school, my school especially, if they never listen. Listening is key in a relationship, between anyone. You've got to listen to the other side, and after you've listened you've got to be helpful. You're right - listening is the key to any relationship, BUT! (and you knew that was coming ;) ) - it goes both ways. As much as you (generally, not YOU personally) may not want to hear what your parents have to say, you owe it to them. And unfortunately, until you're legally an adult, you kinda have to do what they say. Is it always right? No. Is it always fair? Nope. But that's life and you'll get over it.


Not everyone has to live life in a sky-rise executive building with a shiney BMW in the parking garage.I agree, and that's not at all what I meant by your parents wanting better for you than they had. You won't understand a parents' love until you are a mother yourself. Heck, I'm not a mom yet and I'm starting to understand but I won't know totally until I have a baby. But I can tell you that last month, when I had the slightest suspicion that I *could* be pregnant, everything was different. I can't explain how, and maybe one day you'll experience that and understand, but that suspicion gave me a little tiny view into how a mother's love is. I don't mean that parents want their kids to be rich. What I mean is that to create a child out of love, to nurture it in your womb for 9 months, to raise that child - teach it, love it - to watch that child grow up and little by little, become less and less dependant on you is difficult. And parents want to make sure that after they're gone, their child will be okay. That's what I meant. It's hard to explain and probably hard for you to comprehend but again, give it time. You'll eventually get it. :)


I think about my future all the time. I discuss it with my parents all the time.Good. Keep it up. Seriously.


NO ONE will know what it's like for a specific person to go through highschool, unless you are that person.
...
Every person's different.. every person learns differently.. Teacher's in general don't care. I've had maybe, 3 or 4 teachers in my whole highschool career who actually gave somewhat of a damn. That's 3 or 4 out of around 24+. Guess what? I passed their classes with A's everytime.True, but in actuality, the names may be different but the situations play over in our world time and time again. Notice when someone posts a problem on here. How many people reply to that thread with something similar to "Hey, something like that happened to me and here's how I dealt with it..." Lots! So yeah, while the school experience is different for everyone... it isn't so much so. Again, you'll see it more when you're my age and you hear people who are 15, 16 complaining about the same sort of stuff you did at that age. (It's actually pretty funny.)

As for the teacher thing, I'm with you in that I did MUCH better with teachers who gave a damn. In fourth grade, I was doing so well in math I was moved into the most advanced class. In fifth grade, I had a horrible teacher, wouldn't take the time to explain it to people who didn't get it *LIKETHAT*. That woman ruined my math career UNLESS I was lucky enough to get a teacher who cared. From 6th to 11th grade (I didn't take a math my senior year), it happened twice. Those years, I got Bs and Cs in math. Otherwise, it was usually Ds and only Ds because my teachers knew that I was trying my best. So I agree, the teacher makes all the difference. I wish more of them realized that.


I'm horrible with tests. I could sit there and answer questions all day, but when it comes time to take the test.. I freeze up, get nervous. 99.9% of that is because i'm pressured into getting the best grade possible, not the grade that I AM capable of doing.
I'd understand if the child was getting into trouble on a daily basis, doing bad things, using drugs, ect.. But i'm not that type of child and I feel I should get support no matter if I get 100% A or 60% F, but instead I get pressured into things i'm sometimes not capable of doing. Kay, you sound almost just like me. I was horrible at tests too - especially math and science. I would study for eons and think I had it down, but when the test was in front of me it was like I never prepared at all. None of the questions seemed to be the same type I'd studied. It is very discouraging to spend a week or two weeks or whatever, studying your heart out and still only pull out a C or even worse, a D. I know that disappointment all too well. I never claimed to be a straight A student. Not even close. But you're not the only person with those problems and teachers, no matter what you think, actually DO realize that. Most of them, anyway.

You are a very bright person, Kay. You're very well spoken and have shown time and time again your intelligence. Any parent would be proud to have a daughter like you. :) Just remember that one day though, you'll have a kid and your hopes and dreams for them will be out of this world (and again, I'm not talking money) and all you want is what's best for them.

Hope I haven't bored you too much.

[carole]

I am a mother too,but my views differ from Logan's,. I would never expect A's from my child, as long as she is putting in a good effort and trying hard, I would be more than happy with that.

Your grades certainly seem ok with me, maybe you could improve on the C but other than that, sounds like you have tried hard, I believe it is not fair to put unreal expectations on your child, having top grades is not the most important thing in life.,.far from it.

From my point of view they are being a tad harsh, but you are their child and it is up to them to do as they see fit, sometimes one can push your child too hard with horrible end results, one should give the best they can, and be given praise for doing so IMO.:)

[Cincy'sMom]

Originally posted by Kfamr

I don't care if they had to "walk 5 miles in the snow with one shoe on",


Hey, I had to walk uphill, both ways, in 18 inches of snow to college!!! Gotta love Cincinnati...hills everywhere :p

Sorry, I have been waiting to use that since the day it happened.

All through high school, I was basically a staight A student. I got one B, in Algebra II, my freshman Year. But boy...college was a different story...

It is hard to generalize, what are good grades. Some people. learn differntly, and have differnt skills then others. As long as you are trying your best and work to your ability, that is what matters. The important thing, is to figure out what you enjoy, and are good at, and really apply yourself to those things.

[KYS]

posted by aly:Its true that you can be very successful without a college education, but it does open up TONS of doors for you. >>>>>>>>>>

I agree with the above statement.

If I had to do it over................
I wish I had DRIVE when I was in school.
I would have finished college and had a much
wider choice of jobs than the one I have now.

[Oggyflute]

Not going to college or Univeristy is not the end of the world. Not getting straight A's is also not the end of the world. Your defining moment as a person purley comes down to how you are going to react in any given situation. Your descision to follow what path will define you as a person, whether you will take an easy road or whether you will apply yourself. You will make these decsions evey day of your life. The feeling you get at the end of that path determines the joy of receiving lifes rewards.

Will going to college make your life options easier? Yep, sure will. Can you still get where you want to go without it? Yep, sure can, you just have to work a lot more harder, and I had to work really hard. A lot harder than other people who actually stayed at school and went on to Uni etc. I left home at 17, and left school about the same time. I got a job and started earning some money. I eventually got in postion that enabled me to travel around the world, a few times in fact. During all that time I was basically self educating myself. It sounds easy but I assure you it wasn't. Being a straight A student probably just meant that my efforts were not wasted. I do sometimes think it would have been nice to go on to Uni to study industrial design as was what I intended, but I look back on my life and feel totally comfortable and happy with what I have done, what I experienced, and what I have.

To reach your goals in life, will generally start with learning the skills that you require. This starts at school and could very well go on to college/uni. Without apply yourself now will only make your path harder to navigate later on. Just remember that the goal you want is always there waiting for you. :)

[wolf_Q]

I was pretty much a straight A student in high school. I was never offered reward or a punishment for grades. But I did receive constant nagging and a huge guilt trip from my mom if I received less than an A. :rolleyes: If I would have gotten an F wow I can't even imagine my mom's reaction...:eek: While my mom's nagging WAS annoying I am grateful that she convinced me school was important enough to try my best.

I don't learn things well, I just memorize things well...if that makes sense...I remember it for tests then forget it the next day, I don't feel like I actually learned anything.

I went to college for one year and it was definitely harder than high school, I think I got one C and the rest were A's and B's. I'm trying to convince myself to go back ugh.

Anyway (sorry for rambling a bit) I think that parents should set their kids up for success and encourage them to do their best. If a C is the best they could do and they really tried then they should be proud of them. Unless a child is doing badly because they just don't care and aren't trying then I don't think there should be a punishment.

[ramanth]

Samantha's Puppy... holy crap! You're post on page 2 hit the nail on the head.

When I was a teen I was like that.... 'What do you know? It's so hard. ect. ect.'

I'm 27 now and I'm kicking myself. Why didn't I listen to them!?!?

I'm living paycheck to paycheck, trying to pay for a wedding, and I'm so lucky that my parents set some money aside for my wedding, but now, I've dipped into it to pay bills because my money just goes *poof*.

They only want me to have more than what they have and to be honest, I'd love to have a house like theirs and be able to go to Hawaii... but ha! Not the way I save. :rolleyes:

And I make more money than Andy. I love him very much but the thought of starting a life together scares the crap out of me. Neither of us are good at saving and my parents try to tell me but do I listen? Nooooooo....

But I digress....

It's true every situation is different.

My aunt is a wonderful artist but she never went to college...never got a degree. She had an awesome job doing what she loved.

Then one day, management changed, and she was let go and a guy with a degree hired into her position.

She now works in a factory because no one will hire her because she doesn't have a degree.

Maybe some people can get lucky, but it never hurts to have that slip of paper.

I was a horrible test taker too. I'm content that I did my best. I had a 3.0 average and to be honest, I don't think the college I went too ever looked at my High School grades. Maybe it was because they were a community college... I don't know. I'm sure the bigger name colleges look at that, but I'm not certain.

I'm just rambling now.... :o

[CalliesMom]

I grew up in a middle class home where my parents struggled to support themselves and three children. My father wanted my brother and myself (my other brother is mentally handicapped) to go to college so that we did not have to go through the same hardships that he did. My brother was the first person in our family to graduate and I was the second. :) My brother and his wife have a wonderful home and do not have the same struggles that my father and mother had--my brother just graduated with his MBA and would not be where he is without his education.

I know the feeling of living paycheck to paycheck as I'm a very poor graduate student and live off of my stipend. I'm going to school because I know that one day I will have enough money to send my children to the best universities, to have the home I've always wanted, to truly enjoy life as I see fit. Having an education simply makes getting a job that much simpler--people have been able to make great livings without any sort of degree but to be honest, it is quite difficult.

I do want to say that what I want in life is not what others may want. In the end, you must do what makes you happy and if college is not for you, it's not for you. It just gives you opportunities that will be denied to others.

[Cataholic]

"My parents...suck". Wow, now, I am sure I have said somethings about my parents, but, to say they 'suck'? No, I don't think so. It sounds bad. It sounds disrespectful. It sounds less than mature.

As to getting good grades..maybe your parents (and some of the other teenagers that posted) KNOW you can do better. WANT you to do better, and are trying to encourage you to do better. I know I totally underapplied myself in school. My parents didn't necessarily restrict me, but, they weren't pleased. I KNOW what I said when I was that age. In reflection, I KNOW I wasn't really giving it my all.

And, frankly, some things in life are harder for me than others. I still struggle with math, and am fortunate enough not to have to use it too much as an attorney. But, I am very glad I went through the paces.

And, while I think betting and gambling are fine pastimes in places like at the card table, or in Vegas, anyone of you teenagers in high school today are REALLY betting alot on your life if you don't think at least a 4 year degree is mandatory. Sure, we all know someone that made it without. But, that is a serious gamble. It isn't just the additional education, but, the exposure to people from many walks of life, outside your neighborhood, by teachers from all over the world, often, with unique views that you just don't find outside of a university environment. You will most always get the short end of the stick when up against a college grad, in most professions. You may cry, "that is so unfair". Well, that is life. I wouldn't hire anyone without a four year degree.

My 7 years of 'extra' education don't = huge house, BMW, lavious vacations. They = a decent atmosphere in the workplace, a decent car, a decent house, benefits, and the ability to pick and choose what I do with my life. My education had little to do with large salaries, and everything to do with pushing myself to make the most out of my life. Because of my education, I had the ability to secure a job making decent money, raise 7 cats, contribute to various pet charities, and raise Jonah on my own.

Anyone of you teenagers that want support, encouragement, advise, help with anything educational, I would do nearly anything to help you. I feel education is that important, especially for the females. It doesn't make us = to men in the workplace, but, it makes the gap smaller.

[popcornbird]

I've been going through this thread and reading constantly, but I haven't had the chance to add my two cents yet, so I will do just that now.

First of all, Bckrazy, while I do NOT think your parents are right to ground you over this, I feel YOU are incredibly wrong to say your parents suck, and to call them 'tards', etc. :( I'm still a teenager too. I have, at many times, gotten frustrated with some things my parents did/said. We all do. That does NOT give any child the right to call their parents bad names. Its wrong and disrespectful. Parents don't devote their lives to raising their children from birth to get this in return. If you don't like their 'way', have a talk with them...even a heated talk, but its never right to call your parents names. Just my honest opinion.

Regarding grounding for grades, I personally have NEVER been grounded in my entire life, and I cannot for once seem to understand what purpose it serves. Back in the days when I was in elementry school, one of my best friends was a girl who lived next door to me. We were both around 7 years old at the time. Anyway, we used to play outside together, every single day....ride our bikes, rollerblade, bounce around on our pogo sticks....just have fun together. I remember calling her one day asking her to come play outside with me...and she told me she couldn't because she was grounded. The funny thing was grounding became an everyday thing for her. She was was grounded several times a week.....sometimes for the whole week. I don't have a clue as to what purpose it served. It never helped her grades, never helped her discipline, and ended up making her despise her parents. I do not understand or approve of this method. Grounding is something that my parents have never done to us. When we had bad grades (which was very rare for me but it still happened a couple of times), they would sit down with us and talk to us about their concerns. My dad would spend HOURS helping me with math, every single day. Math was hard for me when I first started school. I didn't quite understand it. Now, its my strongest subject, and I have come to love and enjoy it. Math is fun for me, and I know its because of the time my dad devoted in helping me with it...in making it fun...in encouraging me. My mom did the same to help me in science and other subjects. They never once criticized me for making a mistake. They lovingly helped me correct those mistakes, helped me understand what I was doing wrong....and it worked. I've been a straight A student most of my life, and I KNOW its because of my parents, because if they left it to me, I would've neglected my studies and gotten C's. I didn't like to pay attention. I hated school. I wanted my work over with. If I didn't have that pressure from my parents, I wouldn't have done well. The thing about my parents though, is that they helped me by sitting down and explaining what I was doing wrong...how it would affect my life if I didn't do a better job, etc. They did express disappointment, but not once have they taken any privilege away. I think that's the right way to do it. Grounding is not the answer, in my opinion. It doesn't serve any purpose.

Now about A's and B's and C's.......I think its BEST to do what you can to get the best grades possible. Your GPA in high school counts towards the University you get into. Kids that just 'pass' but have a low GPA will have a harder time getting into the school they want to get into.

I personally believe its very important to continue your education after high school, though at the same time, I do not believe its a guarantee for ANYTHING. Its not. It opens doors for you in life, but the fact is, having a degree is not a guarantee you'll succeed financially in life, nor is not having a degree a guarantee you'll be a failure. Bill Gates is a prime example. The richest man in the world....and does he have a degree? Nope. A good friend of my father is another example. He has a P.h.d. (not a little 4 year degree.....a PHD) from Stanford University. It can't get better than that. Guess what. He's been jobless for 4 years now. The economy went down, he lost his job, and he has yet to get one, with his wonderful Standford University P.h.d. Proof that no matter what degree you possess, its not a guarantee you'll always be employed and doing well.

That being said, I feel its best to be prepared for the worst situations in life. I think men who do not work to get a degree are REALLY doing themselves a disfavor in life. The reason I say that is because men HAVE TO BE financially responsible for themselves, wives, children, etc. no matter what. Whether they are married, unmarried, whatever....they still have that financial burden on their shoulders. For women, that is not ALWAYS the case. I feel it depends on a woman's situation, because women do not always carry that financial responsibility. Many women do, but not all. Women in the workplace ARE very important, and there should be women working out there. We need women doctors, teachers, etc. I feel its very important for women to get a good education, and they SHOULD get one, but what I'm saying is...a woman may not NEED a degree in life as much as a man would. When a women gets married, the man is still traditionally 'seen' as the provider of the family. He will have to earn. The woman can earn, and sometimes must earn, but she doesn't always have to. She might have children to raise and care for. She has a house to handle...We all know how GREAT men are at doing that. LOL! Even if you have men help you, they end up ruining things more, so the woman has to do it all over again in the end (he he he). Women have a lot of things to do at home...which is why a degree is not ALWAYS neccessary for them. My mom has a higher degree than my dad. Has she used it? Only until my brother was born. She's been a stay-at-home mom ever since, by her own choice. My dad has always supported all of us. My mom took care of us...raised us... She worked HARD towards her Masters, for years...but the fact is, she could've had the same life without it. She didn't want to work once she had kids, as she didn't need to. My dad on the other hand couldn't quit working. As a man, he HAD to work to support his family, and he needed that degree no matter what. My mom had a choice in this. She could've worked if she wanted to. She didn't have to if she chose not to. That really, is my point. I feel women should have a degree because you never know what will happen in life. What if she never gets married? What if she gets divorced? What if her husband dies? Of course its not good to think negatively, but its best to be prepared for the worst situations. I personally do not WANT to go to University. I don't like it. I'm only doing it 'just in case'....Just in case I ever need it. If I ever have to support myself, I should have the capability to do so. I don't like going to school, and I *might* get my degree online instead (still thinking about it), but I will get an education for sure. Yes I know studying online won't be the same, but at least it is something that will open some doors for me. I don't PLAN on working to make a living my entire life. I would not marry someone without a degree though. I plan on getting married and having my husband do most of the earning, while I will devote my life to caring for my household, raising my children, enjoying life with the rest of my free time, etc. I feel it would be unfair to me to have kids to care for, a household to handle, and to work at the same time. If I have kids, I want to raise them well, and unless I had family nearby, I feel that would be very difficult to accomplish if I were working outside the home too. I feel children NEED their mother, and I wouldn't want to deprive them from that, unless I had no other choice. For that reason, a degree is not my top priority in life. Its a priority, but not the number One thing in my life. I'm doing it just to secure myself...basically. In case I ever need a degree, I want to have it in my hands. I do not PLAN on working for the rest of my life. I only want an education and some experience that would help me, in case I ever need it. Hopefully I won't need it, but you never know. ;)

[catnapper]

I haven't read the whole thread, and probably won't be able to catch up at this point because I'm sneaking in a work break, and its already 4 pages long.... as a parent of 3 teens, we expect a lot of our kids. We help them with projcts and expect them to come to us if they are having a problem in a class - ANY problem, the teacher isn't explaining things properly, another classmate is distracting you or the teacher, not understanding the work, etc. We need them to come to us. If they don't and they bring home a C, then they are grounded til their grades go back up. We have one teacher that has it out for our kids. Did with my son, then my daugher, and now my youngest daughter. We've talked to the school, the teacher, the superintendant and all to no avail. We understand that bad grade on their report card.

Anyway, the kids all know that they are expected a certain GPA. If they do not get that GPA, they do not drive. Simple. We feel if they are not mature enough to come to us or a teacher for help in their studies they are not mature enough to drive.

My son is dyslexic. He has an "excuse" for bad grades. He also happens to be LAZY regarding school and studying. He always got Cs and no hgher than a 2.5 GPA each report card. He didn't care... until this year when he's 18. Not driving, and can't get into college. All of the sudden, he cares about his classes and has a 3.7 GPA every semester so far this year. He says "Gee getting As is a lot easier than I thought." Go figure, amazing what happens when he actually did his homework and paid attention in class.

As for stepparent... I am a step mom. My kids all live with us fulltime and their mom can't even call or send a birthday card for any of the kids. Nice, huh? Those kids are MY kids, even if they are not biologically related to me. The more the kids try to say "you're not my mom" the worse things will get, and the more she'll pull a power shift on you with your dad. BAD attitude for you to take with her. She IS your step mom and DOES have a say in how you are raised, and how to punish you when you do something wrong. Sorry. Learn to live with it and learn to like her, or life will get harder. My kids each tried it once. When they said "you're not my mom" I replied with a laugh and said "And you're darned lucky I'm not." And they are. :D I do what I can to give them a good foundation. Sometimes they swear I'm evil and out to get them.. its because I care so much that I seem so strict.

[Rachel]

Please understand that the people who have taken the time to post on this thread have done so because they have learned from their own experiences and care enough about those who are coming up after them to try to share what they have discerned over the course of time which may be several years or many. Read this thread carefully and take the points others have made into consideration. Nobody here is telling you what to do or what to think, but to give you the benefit of the wide variety of life lessons they have learned. I only wish when I was in my teens and twenties, I would have had the benefit of this type of forum to hear a variety of well thought out opinions and observations. I am older than the majority of people in this forum yet I learn something from those of all ages who post here.

In the words of that song....

*I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger. I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was stronger*

[caseysmom]

Catnapper...they think your evil and out to get them when your their biological mom too:rolleyes:

boy that song is so true wish I knew then what I know now...thats where us parents are coming from...so much wasted time in youth because of other issues...

I want my kids to have a comfortable life..do something rewarding and not be dependent on any man. My mom was like that and so am I....hopefully I am a good role model for my girls.

[bckrazy]

wow, I didn't even think this thread would get one reply... n_n. this seems like a very touchy subject. Let me just clarify, that when I posted that I had just been screamed at and put down and asked over and over if I was trying to ruin my dad and stepmom's lives for 2 hours. I think using the terms "suck" and "tard" was putting it extremely nicely :p

My dad told me that to drive, I needed a B average. I got a B average. I also go to Independent studies, which is a lot more work than regular high school. I study at least 5 hours every day, including weekends, usually 8 hours a day... just to finish my homework. I go to ROP classes from 7-9 every morning, and I go to school 3 days a week for electives, Algebra and Biology classes. I have worked very, very hard... I fell behind last semester and I'm really close to being caught up in every class. I do all of this work, and they make it sound like I've done nothing. If anything, their grounding me and punising me makes me want to do worse in school, just because inside I do not want them to think that putting me down helps me to do better. I would appreciate it so much if they encouraged me and helped me, they never ever check my homework or ask if I need help.

I know for a fact that they're so pissy and angry because they're having marriage problems, and they feel the need to blame their stress and arguements on me. I was actually told 2 years ago that I had to move in with my mom because I was ruining their marriage... I've honestly never said anything to her, I've never criticized her horrendous parenting or her laziness or her insane money spending. I've been SO nice to her, you wouldn't believe it. Catnapper, I swear I'm not a spoiled stepdaughter. If anything, I've put up with way too much from her. She acts like she's known me forever and she can punish me and boss me around and scream at me about my school, while she has been married to my dad for 2 1/2 years and knows nothing about me. She also dropped out of high school and was a hairdresser for 20 years, so I feel like she has nothing to say to me.

I totally understand those of you who stress good grades... I know it's very very important. I'm a Junior, I'll be going to college soon, and I need to be more responsible. But I am trying my hardest - I do twice as much work as all of my friends going to regular high school. I know I'll have to go to junior college my first year out of high school, and I have no problem with that. I really want to go to college and get an education and be able to have a career that I love. It's just very hard to have my parents punishing me and basically making my life really crappy, and still feel so motivated to give 100% in school. It's tiring, and it does suck.

I completely know where Kay is coming from, and I agree with her. I have so much more going on in my life that is just as important to me as my education. Balancing all of it is freakin hard, especially with my parents grounding me and putting me down on top of everything... :o

[bckrazy]

Originally posted by caseysmom
Catnapper...they think your evil and out to get them when your their biological mom too:rolleyes:

boy that song is so true wish I knew then what I know now...thats where us parents are coming from...so much wasted time in youth because of other issues...

I want my kids to have a comfortable life..do something rewarding and not be dependent on any man. My mom was like that and so am I....hopefully I am a good role model for my girls.


You're definitely a cool Mom, and after meeting you, you seem like an awesome role model. I know a lot of parents want to teach their kids from their own mistakes, but we would also like to make our own mistakes and learn first hand. I love my Mom, I wish I could live with her all the time.

[Logan]

I think we all know just how "hard" it is........we just want you to be able to handle it. Sounds like you are trying very hard, and I'm proud of you for that. Please understand that we "oldies" are truly speaking from our own experiences, as Rachel said. Hope it helps a little.

Hang in there and know that we are "rooting" for you every step of the way and if we can help you, privately, in support of your efforts, let us know!!!

Logan

[caseysmom]

sorry your going through this...sounds like they were taking out their problems on you...Its really hard to see the other side sometimes and parents are just as guilty of this as teens.

Look how responsible you are with gonzo...I wish my daughter was as good as you are with him. I guess if you look at it like that... I know would make an awesome vet...unfortunately you would have to jump through lots of educational hoops to be one...I don't know what you want to do but I know you would be great with animals.

[bckrazy]

Originally posted by caseysmom

Look how responsible you are with gonzo...I wish my daughter was as good as you are with him. I guess if you look at it like that... I know would make an awesome vet...unfortunately you would have to jump through lots of educational hoops to be one...I don't know what you want to do but I know you would be great with animals.


;) actually, I'm taking an Animal Health ROP class right now, and I'd love to be a Vet Tech if not a Vet. ^_^ thanks a lot, thats such a nice thing to say.

Logan, thank you! I do understand your side (sometimes), and I know parents (usually) mean well :)

[caseysmom]

Letting kids learn from their own mistakes is so hard as a parent! My parents were pretty naive...I was pretty wild...I go way overboard the other way sometimes....I don't want them to make the mistakes I made but that is part of learning too.

[Logan]

We try, we really, really try. Best intentions, I promise. :)

Logan

[sandragonfly]

all of those high-pressure opinions posted over at least a good report card? come on, she's just upset, not seeking for dogmatic people. but I'm amazed and admired at how bckrazy reacted after all those posts.

okay..teens verses parents thread..others talked, so will I too.
it's easy for parents to "talk" because they were teens.
it's not easy for teens to "act" like parents because they weren't yet. so generally young people to say "they don't understand me!"....truly implies they do not understand what the young people are not understanding! what do you expect?

just to ground her/him for not understanding why "this", "that" or "these" are important? what is matter with some of you, people?? *pointing out of this community* high expections? successful life? okay...at least it gotta "shake n' mix" with some, absolutely some reinforcements and rewards. for god's sake, this thread maker had two A and three Bs and still get punished. I'd not be surprised if bckrazy's parents will pull her down to three Cs.

see, these are MY facts and do NOT mix your facts with mine,

# coming home at age 5 with a good grade (worse than bckrazy's), I was rewarded with mommy's tickles.
# I never went to school from age 6 to 13. (that's seven years).
# I just got in mainstream high school with NO grades experience at age 14.
# first year of high school was a little bit terrible, my parents was there for me ALL the fricking way. no punishments at all.
# I graduated at age 17 with a diploma, period.
:: collegehood ::
# I went five different colleges - just to "get-by" - passed Bs and above classes with plentora of personal disasters and remembering what I learn...NOTHING.
# except that photography class I LOVED, I could remember every brand's shutters' limitations just by heart and the lab exact minutes of developments, blah blah....
# I did ALL of my homeworks, questioned my teacher million of times and done two big projects and still failed that class, I flunked on final exam...what worth all of that work, anyway?
# I know a guy who believes he can make a difference, who NEVER cares about his h.s. diploma and is a rich business guy now. an eye doesn't always apply for an eye.

you CAN NOT push yourself or your child to pass whatever purposes will "quailify" you and your life...on its own WILL know at some time by its heart....what they want to be. if they knew they wanted a shiny BMW car, they'll do anything to get what s/he wants. education just is one of ways to win. in fact as of now as well, MY education has been hindering my success...I had to rely on interpreters for rest of my life and one out of three questions automically are misunderstood. everyone has their own reason.

I'm completely with Kay, well-spoken. I could even image she was gonna say the SAME thing in 20 years later. parent or not. (sorry logan, but I do have expections in my children as long as they understand it too). I'm not a teen, by the way.

anyway.. back to your parents, bckrazy, I'm sorry! I feel your ARGHS! if I were you, I'd just follow my heart what's best for me, in spite of any "disasters" you will be getting. would you ever let your parents read this thread? just wondering...maybe you can make a difference too! :o

[MariaM]

Originally posted by slleipnir
I've never been grounded for poor grades. I always tried to do well in school though. however, I also never got anything but 'That's ok' or such things even if I did really well.
...then again, I've never really been grounded..ever. :o

Basically ditto for me.

[carole]

Just worth a mention I think, I know of several young people who are highly qualified, with university degrees and they just cannot get jobs, this happened to my own nephew,. he has a computing degree, they wanted someone with experience, now where on earth does he get the experience, it took him quite a while to find his job, he is now in a great job that he loves, but it is not necessarily easy just because you have a good education.

My twelve year old has her sights set at a university education, she aims to become a teacher, and I certainly will encourage her every which way, and help her to achieve it if possible, I just fail to see how grounding a child who appears to be doing their best, achieves anything at all, except fustration and resentment.

There are many successful people, some who have become very rich, who have not had the benefit of a college education, so my thoughts are , if you put your mind to it , you can do anything.,:)

[tomkatzid]

Originally posted by anna_66
Well I'm not a parent but if I would have gotten those grades when I was younger my parents would have been happy! Of course I hated school and was very lucky if I got an A.
But Logan is right, it will definately pay off if you study hard and get into college. Might not seem like it now, but when you are my age (39) I don't think you'll want to be waitressing like I am now with no career future:o
Ditto........
53 years old, waitressing, how long will the body last.........

[cookieluver7]

Sorry to hear that!:(

[Rachel]

When I read the Betty comic strip in today's paper (March 20), I had to think of this thread. I'm going to link it here but if you click on it after today, it will probably come up for that day's comic and a different one. So look for the one on the 20th.

http://www.comics.com/comics/betty/