cookieluver7
02-23-2005, 07:16 PM
I recieved these through an e-mail and thought they were really cute. Thought you guys might enjoy them too! :D
7 reasons not to mess with a child:
A little girl was talking to her teacher
about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very
small. The little girl stated that Jonah
was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a
whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible. The
little girl said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher
asked, "What if Jonah went to
hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you
ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally
walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little
girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing
was. The girl replied, "I'm
drawing God." The teacher paused and said,
"But no one knows what God
looks like." Without missing a beat, or
looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining
the commandment to "honor"
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is
there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?" Without missing a
beat one little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
noticed that her mother has
several strands of white hair sticking out
in contrast on her brunette
head. She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are some
of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother
replied, "Well, every time that
you do something wrong and make me cry or
unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white." The little girl thought
about this revelation
for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL
of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed,
and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the
group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are
all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.' A small voice at the back of the
room rang out, "And
there's the teacher, She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said,
"Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run
into it, and I would turn red
in the face.." "Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the
cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table
was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
is watching." Moving further along the
lunch line, at the other end of
the table was a large pile of chocolate
chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.
:p
7 reasons not to mess with a child:
A little girl was talking to her teacher
about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very
small. The little girl stated that Jonah
was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a
whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible. The
little girl said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher
asked, "What if Jonah went to
hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you
ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally
walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little
girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing
was. The girl replied, "I'm
drawing God." The teacher paused and said,
"But no one knows what God
looks like." Without missing a beat, or
looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining
the commandment to "honor"
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is
there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?" Without missing a
beat one little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
noticed that her mother has
several strands of white hair sticking out
in contrast on her brunette
head. She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are some
of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother
replied, "Well, every time that
you do something wrong and make me cry or
unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white." The little girl thought
about this revelation
for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL
of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed,
and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the
group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are
all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.' A small voice at the back of the
room rang out, "And
there's the teacher, She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said,
"Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run
into it, and I would turn red
in the face.." "Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the
cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table
was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
is watching." Moving further along the
lunch line, at the other end of
the table was a large pile of chocolate
chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.
:p