Scared! Need Help!

[Lexi_Lover]

I need help! Well, my friend does!

Last night on MSN, I was talking to my friend. Her MSN name was: it cut so deep it didnt take away the pain it juss made it hurt more!!!wanna be luved by sum1!

Then I kept asking her what was wrong, I asked if she was trying to commit suicide and she said: nono! So, I believed her! She said she would show me in class tomorrow(now today) and that I couldn't tell ANYBODY!

So, she showed me, I looked at her wrist and there was a bandage over it. If you knwo what I mean by her MSN name, you'll get it! So I didn't have to talk out loud, I asked her to come to the computer I was working at and typed it out, I asked her why she did that and she told me it takes away the pain, what pain I asked. She told me emotional! :(

I'm so scared for her! She is my BEST friend, and I don't know what I would do without her! Is there something I could tell her that she would maybe stop thinking this way?

She didn't even tell her friend that she has known her whole life, she must trust me:(I feel very guilty that I wrote this, but I need to know!

I can't even cry it scares me so much, I was just sitting in class, didn't even listen! I'm VERY scared! She wants somebody to love her! And I do love her as a friend, she is my best friend!

Can somebody help me, help her?

[Uabassoon]

Does your school have a counselor that she can talk to? If you I would try to convince her to go see the counselor if not then you should go directly to the counselor. She might be angry at first but in the long run she'll appreciate what you did because you cared enough to help her.

[ramanth]

Try to get her to talk to a trusted councelor. If she won't, then you should. My friend had all the classic suicide symptoms but I didn't tell anyone.

Her parents found her in her room (she OD'ed on sleeping pills).

Thankfully they got her to the hospital in time and she is still with me and we are planning our weddings.

[Lexi_Lover]

Our school is brand new! We don't have a counsellor yet, they are looking for one, I just wish she would stop and think about it!

[slleipnir]

I think you should talk to her, and try to get her to see someone. Make sure she knows you're there for her no matter what, and that maybe she could call you if she feels that way, instead of cutting?

[luvofallhorses]

I think you should talk to her, and try to get her to see someone. Make sure she knows you're there for her no matter what, and that maybe she could call you if she feels that way, instead of cutting?

Great advice there. My best friend was doing the same thing and she said she got a counselor. Unfortunately she moved two years ago and I really couldn't do anything to see her or help her. I felt so helpless :( Then she told me she is seeing a counselor. She moved 2-3 hours away. :(

All my advice is to you is Don't give up, if you have to tell someone that CAN help her, please do so, she may be mad at you but trust me she'll thank you in the end. ((((big hugs to you))))).

[NoahsMommy]

Wouldn't her parent's notice her bandaged wrists? Or is she hiding them with long sleeves?

You need to tell someone. I know it'll be hard, but you have to think of your friend's best interests. Maybe she'll get to see a therapist that can help her deal with whatever is bothering her.

[Lexi_Lover]

Its only 1 wrist, and she has it covered with a wrist band. I asked her if she told her parents and she said no way!

[Lexi_Lover]

If I tell, she'll hate me! I know its the right thing to do, but I don't think I can! :(

I think I'll tell my english/religion teacher tomorrow, she is so calm and relaxed about everything! Shes the best teaher ever, I hope she'll understand! :(

[Karen]

That's a good idea, a trusted teacher is almost as good as a counselor - it's an adult who has had some training, anyway. Do, please tell the teacher. She needs help, this is not healthy behavior.

[Lexi_Lover]

Originally posted by Karen
That's a good idea, a trusted teacher is almost as good as a counselor - it's an adult who has had some training, anyway. Do, please tell the teacher. She needs help, this is not healthy behavior.

She is a very nice teacher, I was talking to my friend tonight on Yahoo and she and I were laughing the whole time, I told her to think about what she did, and tell an adult about it. She said she would try(I doubt she will) so I will do it anyways.

I will let you all know how it goes, any advice as to how I could address my teacher with this problem?

[Corinna]

Just be factually with the teacher tell her you are concerned about a freind. Then tell her about the event and that you want to get her help but don't want her to feel she can't trust you . She must to tell you and you need to keep it so she can help her if she gets in to something more.

[Oggyflute]

Do something Lexi, and quickly. Her life is worth more than any short term damage your friendship might suffer.

[Lexi_Lover]

I went into my teacher today, she was very understanding about it! Thats why I think she is the best. She listened and talked and told me things. She gave me a couple hugs and was very comforting!

She took me down to student services (I guess we do have a counseller)and I had to talk to some people. They were very helpful, my teacher stayed there with me the whole time, I started crying during both of these sessions!

They are going to talk to my friend and I hope she won't be mad at me. My teacher(Mrs.Larose from now on) and she said that it is called cutting and that people do it to focus on other pain then the emotional pain they are feeling!

She told me it was good that I came to her, and she is glad that I trusted her. That afternoon we had a dance, and I was way to put down to even think about eating lunch or going there. So Mrs.Larose said that I could watch a video, just me and her in her class on her laptop. We had lots of fun.

Thanks everybody for your kind words and helpful hints. This is going to be bugging me for a bit now. And I'm glad my friend is getting help. Even if it happened to be a false alarm. I'm glad that I did anyways!

Thanks again everybody!

P.S. My Mom started yelling at me when I got home, she wasn't very helpful about the whole situation and made me feel worse about it! She said that what if she was doing this just to see what you would do? I am scared! :(

[luvofallhorses]

I am glad you found help, why is your mom yelling at you in this situation?? It's not your fault and she should take it seriously(I am not saying she doesn't take it seriously) but you should atleast tell your mom(If you feel comfortable telling her) that you seeked help for your friend and then your mom should be proud of you for doing the right thing. (((postive vibes and hugs being sent your way)))

[Lexi_Lover]

I know, I tried telling her that! She just doesn't understand! :( I don't see why she can't! She is usually really good about this. I haven't told her what friend because I know she will look at her differently and won't let me hang out with her anymore. Just because she cares for me so much! She thinks that my friend will influence me and make me do those things! :rolleyes:

[petslover]

You did the right thing. You should be proud of yourself. You helped a friend out today. That doesn't make sense of your mom yelling at you though. I'm sorry for that.

[Lexi_Lover]

Does anybody know if there is anything more I can do to help her out! If it invloves me getting upset saying it, I can handle that again. I just want my friend to be as safe as possible!

I just wanted to send out a HUGE thank you to Karen for giving me great advice during this time and helping me through this and not to be worried! Although I am VERY thankful to ALL of you, for helping me and of course my friend as well!

I don't know what I'd do without her if it weren't for you all here!

[Lexi_Lover]

Nobody? :(

[flamepony12]

I think you did the right thing by telling a teacher. as oggyflute said, her life is worth more than any short-term damage your friendship might suffer.

P.S.~ does telling all of pet talk count as "telling anyone"? ^_~

[Lexi_Lover]

I don't know. I was unsure of who to turn to, and she doesn't know you guys so it won't really matter I guess. I needed some support and so does she. :( I guess that was all I could think of at the moment! I had to turn to somebody I trusted and who would give me good advice.

[Karen]

Keep talking to your friend, making sure she knows that you love her and are there for her. Let her know you will listen to her if she wants to talk, even if she wants to yell at you, being a freind to her is the best possible thing you can do for her.

[NoahsMommy]

Maybe you could do a search in your friend's area for teen crisis centers. Like, a toll-free number she can call and talk to someone without them know who she is?

[Oggyflute]

You did the right thing Leki, well done mate. As Karen said tell her that you wiil be with her for support. Things do get better, and your friend will be grateful and your frioendship stronger in years to come.

[izabelle24]

hi what your friend is doing is self harming, i used to do it as well. she needs to know that she can talk to you whenever she wants to. try to persude her to see a doctor maybe you could go with her, she just really needs to know that someone cares about her if its not against the rules of pet talk i could give you my email address and anytime you need to speak to me you can email me

[Lexi_Lover]

She went into student services to day when they called her down. I guess I am not because its going around my grade(And I NEVER told anybody except for the counseller, my teacher and my mom!)

Anyways, so she went down and came back about a half hour later crying, so I'm guessing that she did admit to getting help:( Which I'm glad for! She went home after. If she hates me thats her own decision! I had to do it for her safety!

I also talked to somebody else on the way out of class. She asked me if I had anythign to do with it. And that I shouldn't have told if I did! :( Its too late now, some friends just stand around and do nothing. I cared thats why I did it. The other counseller told me to relax cause its off of my shoulders now.

Shes getting help. He told me that there are many students do this and he said someimtes if they don't come in, they have tried to commit suicide if it got worse. Luckily they got to the hospital.

I hope and I think I did the right thing, even if everybody is mad at me! It was worth her being safe! :)

[Karen]

Yay! I am glad she is getting help. And if she is mad at you right now, I bet she'll get over it pretty quickly. And as for everyone else, you are right not to care what THEY think. You did the right thing, and I am proud of you.

[Vette]

I kept a friends secret. she told me she was going to run away. but that wasn't the first time she said that. so i didnt take her seriously any other time she said that. but one time she meant it. and i wish i had never kept the secret,, i blame myself to this day for what happened. :(

im glad you told someone. :D


if this alters your friend ship in anway... look at it this way. did you want to feel responsible and have a guilt trip for the rest of your life if she died? because if she died,, you would have blamed yourself,, even if her family and other friends seen signs that something was wrong..

a lost friend ship painful sure. but its a lot better then blaming yourself for the rest of your life.

[Karen]

Originally posted by Vette

dont be a noble friend. tell someone NOW.

Pssst - she did. And the girl is getting help.

[Vette]

I seen that and edited my post. :)

im so glad that she told someone about it.

[LuvinMyAussieBoy]

I'm glad that you got her help. That was a very good thing to do. :)

[Lexi_Lover]

~UPDATE!~

I just wanted to let you all know, that even after this huge incident, my friend and I are friends again. We are still trying to build up our relationship to what it was before, and we both know that its going to take a LONG time, but we overcame the worst with amazing outcomes...and in a short amount of time. She does seem happier every day, and I think shes glad that I got her help. We had the BEST time at lunch today, we were laughing and talking and overall, having a very good time!

I also found out that I am very bad with social interaction, this is why it was a huge thing for me. What I found out is that I have a "phobia" of being in crowds, such as clics of 5 or 10 people. I am very quiet in a group and that is why I don't make friends very easily. I am a very nice, kind & funny person one on one or with 2 or 3 people. But once the numbers start adding up, I get scared and I shy away. I am trying to fix this by getting myself used to other people(kinda like a dog being socialized;)). Thats why it took SO much for me to get used to it...I cried myself to sleep at nights after and since then have been writing things on my arm at night on how I felt, some being quite serious that Mrs.Larose told me I should get help with...unless everything takes a turn(which it did) and I'm happy now! I couldn't thank God enough...all I could do was pray!

Just thought I would let you all know how both of us are doing:D

[Lexi_Lover]

I forot to post this, so here it is, LOL!

Does anybody else know how I could somehow clean up my "fear" of being in crowds? Anything is appreciated.

And as for my friend, do you guys think this is a little fishy to you because she made up with me so fast? I do trust her, but I think for something that happened at this state that it could be a way to set me up? :confused: I just hope she won't do it anymore

[Iilo]

Lexi,

As someone who cut herself and is still getting over all self harming behaviors, here's my two cents.
Your friend needs ALL the help and support you can give her right now. Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she's forgiven you so fast (for doing the noble and RIGHT thing, kudos to you!) because she knows that you have done right and because she NEEDS you.

As for your sociophobia (been there too), could you get counselling? It's helpful to talk over and analyze your feelings -- maybe there's a hidden reason why you're not comfortable in crowds and you can overcome that with some help.

Oh, and if you need to write how you feel, I'd suggest doing it on paper next time. Ink poisoning is not cool. :D

[luvofallhorses]

Does anybody else know how I could somehow clean up my "fear" of being in crowds? Anything is appreciated.


I used to have a fear of being in crowds but I had to stick it out because I like shopping and going other places. I used to sit at home and do nothing but I hated it. I did go to counseling and it helped. Now I can go anywhere. It takes time to get over it. My suggestion is to go to a counselor and ask them if you could work your way up to not be afraid in crowds. Then praise yourself when you work up to it. Hang in there.

Krista

[Oggyflute]

Glad your friends again Lexi, good stuff mate. :)
As far as the other thing, you could have a go at toastmasters. The training classes they do are great for building up confidence etc.