Update on the Drunk Driver who hit me

[mina'smomma]

I just received a letter today from the man who hit me before Thanksgiving. Apparently he has joined AA while he is incarcerated, and he wanted to let Lee and I know how terribly sorry he is for causing us to lose Amylynn. He wants to me to respond to his letter, and I just don't know how to handle this. I've just started to feel better and the pain in my heart was starting to let up and now I'm sitting her blubbering like a baby because of my little angel.

Can anyone give me a hug and some advice???????

[kt_luvs_kitties]

I have no idea of the story behind this post. But I do know if someone hit you by drunk driving, I would turn over EVERYTHING That he sent to my house to the lawyer.
I can although, Offer many MANY HUGS! If you need any advice, or just someone to talk / listen to you, I am ALWAYS here! Please dont forget that sweetie;)

[PJ's Mom]

I wouldn't answer him if I were you. He caused you an unbelievable amount of pain. Does he expect you to be pen pals, or what? :rolleyes: I would turn over the letter and write back only if/when you think you're strong enough to handle it and can forgive him.

Personally, I don't think I could ever forgive him for that. :(

[mina'smomma]

Originally posted by kt_luvs_kitties
I have no idea of the story behind this post. But I do know if someone hit you by drunk driving, I would turn over EVERYTHING That he sent to my house to the lawyer.
I can although, Offer many MANY HUGS! If you need any advice, or just someone to talk / listen to you, I am ALWAYS here! Please dont forget that sweetie;)

When this guy hit me I was pregnant with my first child. My daughter Amylynn. Because he was driving drunk and on a suspended license I miscarried her a few days later and had to bury her a week after the accident. It hasn't been an easy road for Lee and I as we were very excited about our daughter, and had already started to buy things for her. Everything has been packed up except a blanket I was making and I'm going to send that to a friend who is due I week before I was.

[ramanth]

I PM'd you luv. *HUGS*

[christa]

First of all . . . {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I am a very forgiving person . . . that is actually one of my faults. BUT, after a tragedy like this, I think it would take more than an AA meeting for me to give this guy the time of day.

You don't have to be so quick to forgive him . . . you're still greeving and you have a right to be upset.

I really can't believe that he expects you to respond to him. He doesn't deserve it, in my opinion.

Hang in there . . . do what your heart tells you and remember that we're all here for you!

:)

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Oh No:( I am SO sorry sweetie. I did not know that that had happened:( My answer is Def. a no now. I dont think it would be the best situation to have ANY contact with him. He should suffer for the pain he caused you. I am also a forgiving person, but what he did, in my eyes, is unforgivable. I hope that you and your husband find the comfort and strength you need to keep moving on with you life. I do know what it feels like, but my circumstances were way different. I am here for you, as well as many, MANY other Pters, who love you dearly;)

[Freckles]

How do I reply to the poll if I want to say:

NO - Don't reply to him.
YES - Turn over to lawyer?

[mina'smomma]

Originally posted by Freckles
How do I reply to the poll if I want to say:

NO - Don't reply to him.
YES - Turn over to lawyer?

No is don't answer him and turn it over to the lawyer

Yes is for responding to his letter.

[wolfsoul]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. :(

I think that you should write him back. Even though he did a horrible thing and caused you lots of pain -- he is feeling pain too. He has to live with the guilt of hitting someone and then killing their baby for the rest of his life. Guilt is my least favourite of feelings. Even if you don't forgive him, I think that you should tell him that you're glad he is getting help.

[Freckles]

I wondered because there were so many yesses.:(

[dukedogsmom]

Don't answer his letter and do turn it over to your attorney. Very sorry for your loss. I don't think I knew about this.

[luvofallhorses]

I didn't know the story behind it either but now I do.. omg(((((loooooooooootttttssss of hugs from me and smooches from the furkids))))) If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't talk to him just yet. I am very forgiving but it takes time for me to get completely healed. Just follow your heart, you'll know when you should talk to him. :)

[Karen]

Sending you all the hugs I can spare.

I think you should send him a brief, just to say you recieved and read his letter. You need not say anything else, follow your heart on this one. DO also give his letter to your lawyer for the file.

[NoahsMommy]

I think its a bit hard for some of us to offer advice, because while we may lean one way or another, we've never been in your situation.

The first few things that come to mind and somewhat contridictory. First I thought the same as Wolfsoul. He's reaching out and I'm sure he's sorry for what he did, who wouldn't be? Its a tragic thing. :(

But then, you said he's in AA. Isn't that one of the steps? To seek forgiveness from whom they've wronged in the past?

I don't know. Its a very hard situation and I hope you are confident with whatever you choose.

I guess you can always write back to acknowledge his apology, you don't have to forgive him if its not time for you.

Take care. :)

[cocker_luva]

take it to your lawyer

[Aspen and Misty]

::HUGS::

I'm so sorry, I didn't know this happened :( :(

I would send a COPY to your lawyer. But keep the original. I would also keep his address. One day you might want send him a letter back for YOUR sake. I know that sometimes people NEED to say that they forgive the person who has hurt them, even if it is years down the road.

::HUGS::

Ashley

[moosmom]

I would DEFINITELY turn everything you get from this person over to your lawyer. That's what lawyers are for. Do not talk to anyone about it. Refer anyone who calls to your lawyer.

I'm so sorry you lost your little girl in this accident. Tragedies like this CAN be avoided by not drinking and driving. It's just too bad some people don't realize it till it's too late.

(((((hugs))))

[mina'smomma]

This is what we've decieded to do. After showing Lee a copy of the letter (I turned it over to the lawyer after work last night) We've decieded to let the lawyer handle it. He has offered to write a letter to the guy telling him to never contact me again, and that should he feel the need to try and correspond with us anymore that it is all to be directed to him and not to my work. At this time we've chosen not to respond personally to his letter and may never do so, but if we do it will be us who contact him. Should he violate this request than we will have no other action than to place a PPO (Personal Protection Order) out on him.