I am in tears right now...

[Tonya]

I am so frustrated. Here I am on total bedrest. I have been having contractions every 8 minutes since I left the hospital yesterday. (They were 3 minutes apart there.) I take this medicine every 6 hours to slow them down. It makes the contractions really light and painless for a few hours, but the last few hours until my next dose is painful again. They're not hardcore labor pains, but strong enough where I have to stop walking or talking until they pass. I am so exhausted and my back is so sore. TMI, but I am also spotting too. Obviously, if the doctor put me on total bedrest, this is no joke.

Anyways, my stepmom called me at 9am.

She said "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping."

"It's 9am."

"Yeah, what else am I supposed to do."

"Are you coming out Saturday?" (We have ANOTHER freakin Xmas present opening event at their house Saturday.)

"No, I am bedrest, remember?"

"Well, you just have to sit there."

"Well, I've been 'just sitting there' on my bedrest the past month or so...obviously that wasn't slowing down enough if I went into labor. The doctor told me that I cannot leave my bed at all."

"Whatever. Are you going to your sister's basketball game tonight?"

"NO, I am staying in bed."

"Well, you promised her you would. It is her birthday, you know."

"Yes I know. "

"Well she is going to be really disappointed in you. The least you can do is call her...Don't forget that Friday is your dad's birthday too, we're going out to dinner."

"I know, I am not coming."

"Whatever. Nicky Boy was born when Tresa was only 6 months pregnant. I don't see why you are making a big deal out of this."

"Well, Nicky Boy was in the hospital for 6 months and had health problems for the rest of his life."

"Oh, your baby will be fine."

So, we hang up, I'm perturbed...

An hour later, my dad calls. (Obviously my stepmom had called him.) I didn't answer but he left a message....

"Hey, bum. What, are you still sleeping? I hear you aren't going to Alyssa's game tonight. I thought we were going together. I'm calling to get your butt out of bed, you need to go tonight, you promised. And about Saturday, everyone is coming over. You have to come. Call me back."

@#$&*% them. That's all I have to say.

[shutterbug0303]

Oh, Tonya...I'm so sorry your family is being so unsupportive of you right now. I know that the bed-rest thing hasn't been easy for you, but you are following Dr's orders, and keeping your baby healthy. Good for you! Hang tight. You know what is best for your and your baby...not them! We're here for you...with fingers and paws crossed, anxiously awaiting Tyler's arrival! :D I can't wait to see him!

[caseysmom]

Thats terrible Tonya...don't listen to them! Hugs...

[Glacier]

Don't let them pressure you. Will your husband back you up? If he will and they won't back off, get him to tell them to drop it. Maybe hearing it from two of you will help get the message through!

You take care of you and this little one. No basketball game, dinner ect is worth risking the health of your baby!

[molucass]

That is pretty stupid that they would want to put you or your baby in jeopardy just because they want you to go somewhere. They know you realize that you promised to be there, but that was before you had to be put on complete bed rest.

I think they would want you to stay in bed so that you can do whats best for your little one.

*Hugs*

[caseysmom]

Tonya.....on a lighter note..if you go into full blown labor and are home alone the cute firemen next door can deliver the baby!

[Karen]

They should know better, but they don't. Know that you are in our prayers, and that doing the right thing, while hard, is ultimately worth it. They can open presents without you, your sister will be okay without you at her game, she'll undrestand someday. It is not like this "bed rest" thing is your choice, or that you've never had pregnancy difficulties before. You don;t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends. We, your friends, will still be here for you.

[Jadapit]

Oh for petes sakes that was just so uncalled for on your stepmoms part!! Try not to let them get to you. You need to think of yourself and Tyler right now Dont let them make you feel guilty.

I'm sure this is all really hard on you. My sister was pretty much on bed rest with her son. She had what is called prevaplacenta.
I think that's what is what called. It's where the placenta comes before the baby. It's a pretty dangerous thing. Anyway, the whole pregancy was real hard on my sister she was sure glad when it was all over. You hang in there and take care ok!

[petslover]

That was really cruel to say. I am sorry to hear this. You are doing the right thing.

[Queen of Poop]

How totally inconsiderate. Put your foot down. Your concern now is for YOUR health as well as that of your baby. Prayers to you for the strength to say NO, for your health and for the health of your baby. Please, please take care of yourself.

[moosmom]

Tonya,

First thing I'd do, is change the message on your answering machine to the following:

"Hi, this is Tonya. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm unable to come to the phone. If you're calling to find out whether I will be attending functions in the next few days , the answer is N-O! If there is a part of N-O that you don't understand, please call my OB-GYN at (phone number) and he will be more than happy to explain it in further detail. Oh, and by the way, just to let you know, should ANY of you be at ALL concerned about MY well-being, my reply to you is Fine, and YOU???.

Thanks and have a nice day!"


Then lay back, take care of you and Tyler and just let the machine do what it's supposed to do. You don't need that kind of aggravation right now, honey.

Some people just don't get it. :mad:

[caseysmom]

Originally posted by moosmom
Tonya,

First thing I'd do, is change the message on your answering machine to the following:

"Hi, this is Tonya. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm unable to come to the phone. If you're calling to find out whether I will be attending functions in the next few days , the answer is N-O! If there is a part of N-O that you don't understand, please call my OB-GYN at (phone number) and he will be more than happy to explain it in further detail. Oh, and by the way, just to let you know, should ANY of you be at ALL concerned about MY well-being, my reply to you is Fine, and YOU???.

Thanks and have a nice day!"


Then lay back, take care of you and Tyler and just let the machine do what it's supposed to do. You don't need that kind of aggravation right now, honey.

Some people just don't get it. :mad:


Thats perfect...and also add.."hopefully you understand that my sons lung and brain development are more important than a basketball game, a dinner, or present opening!"

[wolflady]

Originally posted by Karen
They should know better, but they don't. Know that you are in our prayers, and that doing the right thing, while hard, is ultimately worth it. They can open presents without you, your sister will be okay without you at her game, she'll undrestand someday. It is not like this "bed rest" thing is your choice, or that you've never had pregnancy difficulties before. You don;t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends. We, your friends, will still be here for you.

Our Karen always knows what to say and I completely agree with her.
I just can't fathom why your family would treat you that way? When people are put on bed-rest during their pregnancy, it's not for the sheer joy of it. I'm sad to see that they don't seem to have your best interest in mind, and being adults, that's just sad. Especially for anyone who's had a baby, they should understand the seriousness of this. I sure hope your husband is more understanding.

We're here for you. Take care of yourself and the baby and don't let your family get you down.
**hugs**

[wolflady]

Originally posted by caseysmom
Thats perfect...and also add.."hopefully you understand that my sons lung and brain development are more important than a basketball game, a dinner, or present opening!"

Amen! I think moosmom's and caseysmom's ideas are great!

[AmberLee]

Oh good grief! Hang in there. Right now your priority has to be your health and the baby's... {{{Gentle hugs}}}

[Sorry this sounds crude, I can't think of a tactful way to phrase it and no offense is meant-- Is there anyone sane in your family who can serve as a buffer for you right now?]

[catland]

Is it remotely possible that your dad was kidding? He just might not have been aware that with the pain that you are in that it just wasn't very funny.

My sister in law also had to do the bedrest thing. It was very hard on her. But worth it. He is now a very healthy and happy fifteen year old who can't wait to get his driver's license. (they grow up so fast).

Good luck and take care of yourself and your baby.


:D

[smokey the elder]

Poor Tonya! How clueless can people get, anyway?:(

[mina'smomma]

I agree with moosmom with the answering maching. I'm so sorry that your family are being butts. I would also speak to your husband tonight and let him know what they are doing. I'm sure your sister will understand why you weren't at her game. Just call wish her happy birthday, and leave it at that. It's not like you asked to be put on bedrest.

[lizzielou742]

I'd be like, "HELLO, I'm having CONTRACTIONS every 8 FREAKING MINUTES so I am NOT going to a $%^&* basketball game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :mad:

But that's just me. ;)

Just don't answer the phone. If your dad comes over, maybe he will see how much pain you are in and come to his senses.

DO NOT LET THEM GUILT TRIP YOU!!!

My family ALWAYS does that crap. Don't let them do it. It's rude, mean, & unnecessary!! You did nothing wrong!!!

[pitc9]

Wow!! :eek: :confused:
I don't understand some people's thinking!! Esp your own family!! Come On People!! WAKE UP!

Tonya, you know what is best for you, please don't give in to their pressure. Hang in there girl, we all are here for you and would not make you get out of bed for a basketball game!!:p

[NoahsMommy]

Tonya, honey. I"m so sorry...you're family just doesn't understand. :(

Stay in bed. Chat with us on PT...we'll be supportive, OK?

HUGS :)

[Corinna]

All the above are great ideas but I have one more don't answer the door even if it is your dad.
I know I was on bedrest with my first one (shes now 23yrs old and fine) at the 7 month mark. I had to go live with my mom it was pure hell. Mom was great but the bed I got a new one after my daughter was born i hated that one so much. Do stay there , Mom decided I needed fresh air so we were going out to see the X-mas lights and get a forbidden soda. I stepped down on ice and fell. I was out for a mintue or 2 , 4 springers smothering me my dad trying to scatter them so he could pick me up. 2 hours later at the ER I had broken my foot ,but all else was fine.(it was my due date) 2weeks later my daughter came healthy and fine. (we stilldid go see the lights and get me a soda.)
If they keep bugging on the phone unplug it ,get a prepay cell and only the school(for the boy) and for hubby to know the # . You need quiet and calm. As was said before stick with us and we'll see ya through this. {{{HUG}}}}

[catnapper]

Oh Tonya! :( :( :( I hate to say it, but their selfishness has reached new heights. I think the changing outgoing answering machine message idea is brilliant.

[Christiansmommy]

Ya know what...that is just crazy!! I can't believe they aren't being more concerned...there is a little life growing inside of you, and they should understand the improtance of that...sorry they don't...(((HUGS))) to you...you are being a very responsible mommy, keep it up :) Little Tyler will thank you in the long run :)

[luvofallhorses]

that is just not right! how would they like to be in your situation they should run a mile in your shoes and see how it is {{{{many hugs to you}}}}

[shais_mom]

Originally posted by Tonya

@#$&*% them. That's all I have to say.

Maybe I am in a &itchy mood b/c I have no power and everything but this reeeaaaallllyyyy perturbs me.
Not you, of course.
You're simple minded parents
:mad:
If they don't care enough about you're unborn baby to want you to be at trivial events for them then, I am with you....

@#$&*% them.

So sorry about you're troubles. :(

[GraciesMommy]

I am so sorry that they are being so ignorant about all this but you do what you know in your heart is right and that is taking care of yourself and the little one..you both come first! Let them act like jerks all they want, they should be ashamed of themselves..
Give us all their email and we will blast them for you..lol

[carole]

Oh Tonya sweetheart as if you aren't feeling miserable enough, I wish I were there for you to give you a giant gentle hug and tell them off, how ignorant of them all, chin up girl, you are doing the best and right thing for your baby and that is all that matters, however having their support would also be very nice, unfortunate that they are being so selfish that they cannot see what is right in front of their faces.

Cheer up Tonya WE ALL LOVE YA, and just ignore their comments as hard as it is to do. TAKE CARE.:)

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tonya, I'm so sorry to hear that your family just doesn't understand the importance of bedrest. :( I really like the idea about changing your message on the answering machine. Please remember that everyone here at PT will be supportive and we all care about baby Tyler's health and yours too. Please take care. {{{HUGS}}}

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Oh Tonya, please don't give up... . I agree with everybody's remarks here!! YOUR health and TYLER's are the issue here!! Doesn't your stepmom remember the contractions she had when she delivered your dad :rolleyes: ??
Can you see on your phone who is calling (we can!)?

Do NOT pick up that phone anymore, stay in bed, put on a relaxing CD, and RELAX :) . We are all here praying for you! Lil Tyler is the most important thing for you right now :)

[christa]

PLEASE tell me you have caller ID!!!

This stress & pressure isn't good for you OR the baby inside of you!!! You poor thing!

I can't believe they'd expect you to do all that when you've been ordered to complete bedrest!

That makes me mad for you! :mad:

Here's an idea . . . when you do go into labor & have the baby, don't tell them until way after the fact . . .

Sounds like they obviously don't care about the baby's health anyway . . . why would you need them at the hospital breathing down your neck while you're giving birth!

Good luck with your family! I hate that you're going through this . . . but I'd probably go off if I were in your shoes! That and stop answering the phone, LOL.

[ramanth]

How rude. :( I'm so sorry they are being cruel like that.

Just take it easy.

[kimlovescats]

Oh my gosh ... I cannot even believe the complete lack of understanding, support, and concern that these "family members" are showing you right now. Your Dad is probably like alot of men (nieve to the whole birth process and controlled by his wife) to even get mad at him really. But, your step-mom is being a real pain in the rear!!! :mad: Your doctor is yours and your baby's caretaker right now, and if he / she says you need to stay on bedrest, then they should respect and honor that!!!! How in the world is one stupid basketball game more important than the life of your unborn child!!!????:mad:

Tonya, honey .... turn your phone OFF!!! If you have a cell phone, or another way that your hubby can contact you, then unplug the stupid landline!

Hang in there, honey ... we are all here for you, and praying for your precious little Tyler!

(((HUGS)))
Kim;)

[lynnestankard]

I could say lots of awful things regarding your family Tonya - but everyone's beaten me to it.
Please, please, please don't knock yourself out worrying about them - it's too much stress for you and precious little Tyler - he needs a nice, calm and peaceful Mummy.
Either let the phone answering machine pick up or turn the phone off.
Couldn't your hubby have a word with them and tell them exactly what 'bed rest' means?

I have a friend who, when she was expecting her son was on 'complete bed rest' in hospital for the last three months - she couldn't even go to the bathroom! That is how seriously bed-rest should be taken.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers sweetheart - good luck xxxx

Lynne

[carole]

Tonya just a thought, I am not sure how things work in the USA, but when I had my son I had one month bedrest, I was hospitilised, for a very good reason, and they only let me out for a weekend visit, each visit home my blood pressure went crazy, I was allowed to walk around the hospital, so it wasn't quite complete bedrest, but what I am thinking maybe, it would be better to go into hospital for a while, that is usually why they insist you go, because at home , no mother ever gets complete bed rest, think about it and talk it over with your G.P, mind you I expect you have a ways to go yet, so maybe not an option, but if you could have some time in there it might just help.

Tyler's counting on you, so remember he is all that matters, you are a brilliant mother, and doing what any caring mother would do, taking good care of herself in order for her child to be ok.

Hope things are improving, I think Hubby should step in and have a word too, and put them in the picture clearly.

HUGS!!!!:)

[Tonya]

I was thinking about that today. With what was going on with Jaden, and just everything in general. That it'd be at least nice to serve this bedrest away from everything. It's hard to stay calm and restful when everything that you're used to dealing with on a daily basis is swarming around you. The doctor had said that I needed to take this seriously or they would hospitalize me. I know that I'd get sooo sad and homesick though. I go back again on Monday, we'll see how I'm doing by then.

[carole]

Tonya I got homesick as well, but then I did not have a little one to leave behind, and that makes it much harder, but seriously give it thought, I actually found it great in some ways, the stress was alleviated, and I got plenty of rest, so much in fact my son who they thought would be a small baby was indeed a large boy,(for me anyhow) bit too large lol, but he was beautiful, he looked like a three month old baby not a new born, he was well covered, so having all that rest gives the baby a good chance to grow, it would appear, I had lost some of my placenta, so I was a lucky to have such a healthy boy.

YOU and only YOU will know if indeed going into hospital is for the best, but go if you have to ok. HUGS AND TAKE CARE.