What should I do?

[mina'smomma]

The driver that hit me last Saturday causing me to lose our Amylynn had his lawyer contact Lee and I. He wants to meet us, and his lawyer wants to settle it out of court for reckless driving. I'm so ticked off !!!!! How could even think to even approach us on this! We just buried our daughter this past Saturday. EXACTLY A WEEK AFTER HIS STUPIDITY! I'm sorry I don't mean to yell at you guys, but I'm just sooo upset it isn't funny. I contact my lawyer with the jerk's request and he said he would take care of everything else and that if I WANT to see the idiot (lawyer's term) then he will arrange the meeting, and that if his attorney contacts me again to tell him to speak to my lawyer and to leave me alone.

Lee is going to meet the guy, but I don't think I can. Its not because I would show weakness its more that I don't think I can reframe from bashing his head into the cement floor of the jail.

What do you guys think I should do?

[RICHARD]

Stay away, you and your husband should not even bother.....

[aly]

I'm sorry, I really don't know :( It is a horrible situation and I have no clue what I would do.

Whatever you decide though, I wish the very best for you *hugs*

[pitc9]

I would not want to see him..... but please.... do what ever your heart is telling you to do.

[ramanth]

Personally, I wouldn't want to see him, nor would I settle out of court.

Does he know his actions caused you the loss of your child? To me, that's 'man slaughter'. And I think he should be tried as such.

*HUGS*

[heinz57_79]

Settling is just an excuse for him to move on and ignore what he did. Personally, I'd make him take FULL responsibility for what he did. I would make sure he NEVER forgot that it was his recklessness that took the life of an unborn child who never had a chance at life. But then... I'm a mean, hateful, unforgiving b*tch sometimes. :) Do whatever your heart tells you to do. Good thoughts and prayers headed your way!

[carole]

Follow your heart sweetie, but I agree with the others here, I would not meet him, and let it go to court,it seems settling out of court would be the easy option for him,maybe if hubby can deal with it alone , then let him go, it may well be a good move on his part, to see if this guy is genuinely sorry for what he did, not that it is going to make much difference for your sad loss.

I wish you well, and hope this can all be sorted without anymore suffering on your part, HUGS.:)

[robinh]

My personal thought would be to let your lawyer handle it.

For me it would be too hard not to bash his head in.

I'll repeat what many of the others are telling you "let your heart be your guide". My prayers are with you.

[cookieluver7]

I say no. If you are nervous about it, than I wouldn't go. BTW, I'm sorry you lost your daughter.:( :( :( :(

[Corinna]

Don't meet him and got for it all . Make him pay (through your lawyer )

[Cincy'sMom]

First, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

Personally, I don' t think I could face him, or settle out of court. But, then again, it may help youheal to have it overwith rather then a long court battle.

We will pray for you, whatever you deicde to do.

[teenster3]

I don't know that I would want to see the person either.
Does this person feel remorse for what they have caused you & your family? Not that it can bring Amylynn back but maybe if you heard it directly from the source you may feel more relief.
I'm not trying to say you shouldn't be upset & angry or hurt, but was this accident the 1st time he's been drunk behind the wheel?
I'm just asking because part of this story hits close to home for me & I know a person that would be extemely hurt & sad if anything were to come of his mistake/s. (not your situation however)
Personally, I've never been in your situation & can not tell you what to do. You have to go with what your heart tells you to do. That's all I'm going to say!
Good Luck & I'm Deeply Sorry for your loss!
TiNa

[QueenScoopalot]

Nobody wants to drag out any dealings with court, but IMO, this should NOT be settled out of court where this creep can carry on with his life. He may end up killing another person if that were to happen. It's untimately a decision that lies within you however hard it will be, and whichever road you chose. We're here to listen as always. (((HUGS)))

[mina'smomma]

Originally posted by teenster3

I'm not trying to say you shouldn't be upset & angry or hurt, but was this accident the 1st time he's been drunk behind the wheel?


I understand what you're saying Tina, but this wasn't his first offense. He has had several DUIs before.

[mina'smomma]

Lee and I discussed this with each other, the counselor, and my lawyer (who incidentily went we us to our first therapy session) and we are not going to go and see the drunk. The lawyer thinks that he just wants to buy us off because he comes from a real wealthy family, and has been able to get away with almost anything. Well not this time. We figure that he can rot in jail, but my lawyer took the ultrasound picture and is going to inform the drunk that this time he killed an innocent baby. He also isn't going for manslaughter. He is going to try and get him for 1st degree murder. He feels that since he has soooo many prior DUIs that he knew when he got behind the wheel that he could kill someone and just didn't care.

Lee and I are still going strong. I actually went and looked at the blanket I was making for Amylynn. I have avoided my craft room for that reason. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but with our famiy and friends (not to mention the power of my PT friends) we'll make it through no problem.

[teenster3]

Oh honey, I'm so sorry I even bothered to post that.
I just wasn't sure of your whole story.
I know I don't know you well but if you ever need to talk....I'm here for you.
I'm so very sorry for what you're going through right now~!!!!! I can't even begin to imagine what has happened to you & your husband & family!
I'm sorry that this jerk was allowed DUI's "several" times without any "punishment" & with having money behind him......hmm, why does that matter so much to people? I don't believe money buys you happiness....I truly don't! And with what you've had to endure, I hope he & his family realize how he's destroyed your's!
I'm sorry, I'm sure none of this is really "helping" you but I just wanted to let you know I'm here & we're all HERE FOR YOU!!!!
Tina

[CamCamPup33]

Im SO sorry.

I can't imagine how you feel. :( It's good that your not going, you shouldn't give him what he wants.

Not to change the subject or make you upset, but i saw a movie in health not too long ago, about a man who killed the daughter of a family (he was drunk, and slammed right into her). She was only 18 years old, and the parents told the court to make him write the parents a check, for the next 18 years of a dollar, to remind him of what he did. He eventually couldn't take it anymore, because the guilt was resting on him, every friday. It was either that or jail.

:( Again, im so very sorry for you.

[GraciesMommy]

I am just so sorry for the loss of your angel.
~hugs to you and your husband..

[trayi52]

I am so sorry for your loss. I do know how you feel, though mine was not took from me by a drunk driver. Please know that we are all here for you. {{{Hugs}}}

Willie

[sammy101]

im sorry for the loss of your angel:( :(
{{hugs}}

[christa]

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss . . . I had no idea that this had happened.

I'm glad you've decided to NOT see this man. First of all, it's just too soon . . . you have to be an emotional wreck after loosing a part of you. Plus, is does sound like he's just trying to buy his way out of this one.

I'm glad you're going to fight this . . . do it for your daughter.

I pray that God blesses you & comforts you in the weeks & months ahead.

[carole]

The one thing in life I despise most is drunk drivers, I hope they throw the book at him and he gets finally what he deserves, although nothing will ease your suffering and bring back your child,I hope it might bring you some comfort knowing he will be brought to justice and made to pay for his crime, lets hope its enough to stop him from doing it again.

HUGS to you both.:)

[moosmom]

I used to work as a paralegal. Do not under ANY circumstances talk to the people that hit you or their lawyer. Tell them you have no comment and all communication should be done through YOUR lawyer and give them his name and number. You need to heal and let your lawyer do al the work. That's what you pay him for.

I can guarantee you that HIS lawyer is trying to settle out of court because he knows that if it goes in front of a jury, he's screwed. Believe me, lawyers are shrewd. They try to play on the sympathy of the injured parties in order to help get THEIR client out of a horrible mess.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone to a drunk driver is such a tragedy and makes me SO angry that there aren't stricters laws on allowing these scums back on the street.

Hang in there honey. We're here for you.

[cocker_luva]

i think he should meet you and the rest of her friends and family!!! let him meet every single person that knew her and let him fully realize that reckless driving can impact a ton of people!!!