HELP - what to do with Bored Spiteful Cat??

[cruisetime]

OK - it seems when we are home with Meka on the weekends she gets on our nerves so bad that hubby is ready to take her back to the kill shelter or let her go outside and not come back. THis puts me defending her and I'm frustrated with her too...

She probably needs another cat to get rid of the bored lonely feeling of being home alone or with adults that are busy. BUT with hubby threatening to get rid of this one I can't get another one. SOOOOOOO. We do play a lot with her but when she is not in the mood she won't play and sometimes we are busy to play with her when she wants...

She just kept getting into things and onto things that she knows we don't like to get attention. The squirt gun works to get her down but not to stop her from doing it again. Finally she got up on the fish bowl for the hundreth time - we found she is drinking out of it and it has a chemical in it for the fish so I think that is what was giving her diarehia - we tried everything and finally attached a metal screen on top she couldn't get into or knock off and she got up there again and started whining so hubby got the squirt gun and she jumped down and knocked the fish bowl over with her back legs. Luckaly we got it turned up with a tiny bit left before the fish and glass bowl ended up on the tile and luckaly we just got tile down so the carpet wasn't soaked but my hubby was MAD!!!!

Any ideas???? Patience might not get her a home till Christmas....

Debbie

[rg_girlca]

Oh gosh poor you. I really don't know what to say.
Maybe and this is a BIG MAYBE, you can convince your hubby that by getting another kitty for Meka, will help her to settle down. It will be company for her for when you guys aren't home and will make a great playmate also. This will help ease the boredom that she is going through.

I would hate for her to have to go back to the kill shelter.:(

[Craftlady]

My advise is go back and read previous posts where you have sought advise for same related problems and review posters suggestions. There have been allot of good ideas and sharing of stories. Maybe a refresher of these posts will help you and your hubby see things clearier. I know it's been mentioned before, if it's better for your situation to rehome the kitty that's ok. No one will think bad of you. Please consider a non kill shelter or rescue organization.

[NoahsMommy]

First, I seriously doubt that your cat is spiteful. Your cat is a cat...an animal that cannot reason like a human.

Understanding her behavior may change your perspective on her actions. I feel badly for your misunderstood kitty.

I don't understand what you mean by her getting on your nerves...Cats play. Cats are curious. Cat like to EAT fish. It sounds like you need to catproof your home. Its just like having a child, they get into things too, not because they are being bratty, but because they are curious and oftentimes bored.

Move the fishbowl to a room your cat doesn't have access to. Buy or make her toys she can play with on her own. Catnip is great for entertaining most cats for a while.

Get a cat babysitting video, a few of my cats really enjoy them. Get a bird feeder outside so she has something to entertain her.

There are a ton of things you can do to entertain your cat. Others have said that getting another cat will keep Meka busy, but I wonder what will happen to them when they knock something else over while playing. :eek: :(

[kimlovescats]

I will have to agree with Kelly on this. You have posted many times about your kitty, and I can't help but feel that you just don't understand cats. :( Please don't do anything rash ... find this baby a new cat-loving home!!!

[cruisetime]

Unfortunately - I just don't know what to do. We have tried all the suggestions. There is a bird feeder outside the window and she does watch it sometimes. She has lots of toys that she likes and we do play with her with them. She has a tall scratching post that she uses. She is fine with the litterbox. It is just she will not learn to not do things. She had learned not to get up by the fishbowl - at least while we are home but then she started doing it 20 times in one day even though we tried the squirt gun and she would jump down - then she would get up there again and then make noises to alert us she was there. This is the kind of bahavior I don't understand. That is what I'm trying to ask you all for help about. Instead of getting frustrated with me please try to see that I'm trying to give a good home to a cat that didn't have one but I need help from you all to try to understand and fix things. The fish bowl was moved last night - but she had been fine with it for 2 months now so why now is she making an issue out of it???? SEE what I'm asking?? Maybe I'm not asking it right... I appreciate your help but not your criticism. I'm sorry if you all would rather not help just to critize - but I was hoping you all were wanting to help too.... Debbie

[catcrazylady]

I agree with all of the above responses. I don't think you're happy with Meka so there is no way she can be happy with you all. Love, patience, and understanding while the kitty grows up is what is required. Some cats stay playful and busy for years. Most of us are happy about that and find their antics unique and funny. You really need to start looking for her a new cat loving home. The longer you wait the harder it is going to be to find her a home. It is better to do it now before she gets too much older. Please do not return her to a kill shelter! With just a little effort on your part you should be able to find a no-kill rescue or a new home for her. Even if you have to drive out of your way I think you at least owe her that.
I honestly don't think this is ever going to work out and you really need to do something soon. In the future if you should ever want another cat then I really think you should consider only senior kitties. You need a cat that only needs a small amount of attention and generally sleeps the rest of the time. Actually I'm not sure you really want or need a cat at all.
Certain people with certain animals sometimes don't mix and I think that is the case here. It doesn't make you or Meka bad, it just means you are not meant to be together. Please find a good place for Meka.

[carole]

I don't think people are critising you and not helping, there is constructive critisim and that is what is being offered to you here.

I agree with most of the comments, and the last thread makes a lot of sense, no-one is saying you are bad owners, just that maybe Meka is not the cat for you.

If you love the cat at all why on earth would you consider returning her to a kill shelter or releasing her to the unknown, that would indeed be a cruel fate, and you need to tell hubby that is NOT an option period.

I understand and empathise with you, that you have tried a lot of things, and it just is not working, so try and re-home Meka and think long and hard about whether you do want another kitty, a senior kitty may indeed be the answer.

Cats are just like humans, they all have different personalitys, and lets face it we don't all get along with everyone in this world,so why should it be any different with a kitty.

Do yourself and Meka a favour and find a new home that suits her better.:)

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Debbie, I'm sorry things are still not working out with Meka. It's true that you must cat proof your home. Sounds like the fishbowl is now out of harms way, but what about everything else that she can break that would cause concern? If there is nothing for her to break, then let her jump where she wants to jump. Cats do like to be up high. Have you gotten her a cat tree or something similar? That way she can jump and climb with no worries. A good idea might be to put it right in front of the window with the bird feeder.

It really does sound like she's looking for attention. Even when you're busy, sometimes a quick pet and a few quiet, adoring words are all she might need. Talking to her on a regular basis - and more than just "NO!" - might help too. Even though it's been two months, she is still getting used to her new home and "feeling you out." She may just be a kitty that requires a lot of attention.

Like others have said, if it does get too bad and you do decide to rehome her, there's no shame in that. Sometimes things just don't work out. But whatever you do, DO NOT just put her outside. If worse comes to worse, just confine her in one room until you can find her a good home. Otherwise, patience is still the key word, although I know that's not what you want to hear. ;)

[cruisetime]

Debbie - it is what i need to hear - that everything is going to turn out ok. Meka needs us too - nobody wants her and that is why she is mine. She is not a young kitten and she was held a long time at the shelter which is not normal. I just want to hear that she will learn. Everytime she getts better - and I think it will work - she changes. She actually wants in the garage. We did let her out there twice to check it out - she is very curious for a 3 year old. I dont' want her darting out though because when we come home the garage door is open and she can get out. I just want to understand why she would do something over and over and over in one day that she knows we don't like. Is that normal??? The house is very cat proof now. She had done so well but last night we not only took the fish bowl out but anything else breakable. I just need someone to give encouragement. There isn't anyone else that will want her around. So it has to work for her sake. I keep getting and making different toys per your suggestions - she has a bunch. She really likes the pipe cleaners someone suggested. Thank you for any and all encouragement!! :) Debbie

[cruisetime]

I do talk to her a lot and I do tell her what a good kitty she is - but I can't pet her all the time. I try first now by putting my hand down and if she does nothing or rubbs against it I pet her but if she tries to bite me I leave her alone. That has stopped most of her biting of me and the scratching. The couch is right by the window with the bird feeder and she has free rein in the house except the kitchen table and the counters when we are home. Otherwise she is on all the window sills and on top of everything else - I just watch to make sure she doesn't get hurt in the rooms that are not cat proof - we let her in them to explore when we are in them. She LOVES to be around us. BUT it is 24/7 when we are home. She is getting better. I felt sorry for her this week because we were home and she didnt' know when to sleep and when not too because she wanted to be everywhere we were but we were up and around the house all day......

I just really need suggestions to help. I know I'm not asking the right questions so I keep trying to find the right words.

Thank you for the encouragement Debbie! :) Debbie

[carole]

If you are certain that no-one else will take Meka, then I guess it is just going to take time and a lot of patience as Debbie suggested, you obviously love the cat, I can read that through your threads,otherwise why would you be here?

I guess kitty's are just like some kids, they take a long time to learn, and some never do, but it sounds like you are prepared to put in the time for Meka, and that is so neat to hear, I think like others I mis-understood your thread a little, sorry for that, your hubby's ultimatiums just sounded so harsh, and I was scared for Meka.

Keep up the good work, I am sure you will be rewarded in time.:)

[catlady1945]

Some cats are more active than others. If she gets into things, you will have to cat-proof. Get the fish tank away from her. I really suggest getting another cat. Sometimes a big climbing platform will amuse them if it is next to a window. I hope you will arrange for a new home if you have to and not send her to a kill shelter.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by cruisetime
I felt sorry for her this week because we were home and she didnt' know when to sleep and when not too because she wanted to be everywhere we were but we were up and around the house all day......


I know what you mean! T & P are so confused on the weekends when we're home. It's like they are so tired and can't keep their eyes open, but they don't want to miss a thing so they keep following us around. :rolleyes: :D

Hmmm...how about a box with a catnip mouse in it? Peanut absolutely adores boxes and they can keep her entertained for quite awhile.

I think it's just a matter of time before she really settles in, but I do believe it will happen.....sooner or later. ;)

Good luck!

[Scooby4]

Has Meka been fixed? Sometimes this changes personalities in cats. Too early and they stay kittens and too late you end up with kittens!
I think your training Meka that she gets attention by doing the things she is doing. She is saying "Hello" look at Me!!!. She knows she is going to get punished but atleast she knows your looking at her!!!
Maybe try the ignore unless life threatening approach? If she sees your not interested then she will stop. Also set up a time prior to going to bed to sit and pet. This will let her know bedtime is close.
Remember: Cats do not have clocks!!! They don't get the concept of time. That is why you may do something for 5 minutes and it seems like a lifetime. Imagine not living with a clock. Would you know how long you got paid attention too?
Your doing good with Meka. They say the animals adopt their owner's behaviors. I can see it in my animals. You may need to get all "Oprah" and look at your own behavior? You may find out your cat is on to something...:rolleyes:

[cruisetime]

Thank you all!!!

Meka is fixed.

I was wondering if ignoring her would work when she is being bad. I tried that at first and it didn't seem too but maybe now it would have more effect.... She does seem to be saying "Look at me!" It makes me sooooo want to know what her life was like before. She seemed to have been trained to bite and scratch people. She will attack people. But not strangers. She is real good with strangers as she will come out and investigate and let them pet her and then she goes away and stays in another room if she decides she dont' like them...

She does bad things and then goes by the garage door and meows like "I know you are going to put me out there now". That is not something we have ever done - like she was punished that way before...

I'm hoping time will let her adjust to us and not to whoever had her previously. The biting and scratching has seems to die down at least so far.

Debbie I wish she would be entertained but she will try and play with anything but most times it is only for about 5 minutes at most - usually about 3 minutes and she is done unless I throw it for her or play with it with her. Catnip is good for about 3 minutes. Paper bags, cardboard boxes, balls, you name it. I just wish I could borrow a cat to see if a companion would really make a difference.... It really seems like she learns but then her old training comes back in her head and she reverts back..... They trapped her as a pregnant feral but she obviously had a home at one point... But why wasn't she fixed at 2-1/2 years old????

Debbie

[catcrazylady]

Debbie I would like to apologize if I in any way offended you with my response. I just felt like this wasn't ever going to work. Your latest posts explain things a little better.
The sad thing is Meka may never change but then again she may settle as time goes by. She certainly sounds like a little booger! She also reminds me a lot of Leroy because he wants attention and he doesn't care if it's bad or good as long as he gets it! He will do bad things over and over and over knowing that he is going to get into trouble.
Example:
Every single night he goes to hubby's surround sound speaker and starts pulling at the fabric front. He knows this is a major NO NO but he does it anyway. He will actually look at us while he is doing it! We yell LEROY NO! He stares at us and keeps pulling. I'm fussing and hubby's fussing and I'm trying to get around Magoo to get out my chair and make him stop. He's still looking at us and pulling. Just about the time hubby or I are about to get him he cries really loud and rolls over like we beat him! Which has never happened. Then he jumps up into my lap and curls up and takes a nap! This is only one example of the things he does on a daily basis.
Now, Leroy has never been denied my lap or loving attention. Why does he have to be bad before he comes to my lap for attention? He was really young when we got him so it doesn't have anything to do with his past. Why can't he simply jump into my lap first and not get himself into trouble? Who knows!!
My point is that this is his weird personality and we have had him for five years now and nothing has ever changed him. Meka may never change but she should mellow some with age. That may take a long time or it may never happen.
The reason I keep mentioning rehoming is that Meka makes you and your hubby reach a very high frustration level and that is not good for any of you. Time and patience may make a huge difference. It sounds like you have already made lots of progress but I just want you to be aware that she may not change as much as you would like. I really do feel with time and your continuing efforts you can curb some of her behaviour but just remember that you are not going to be able to change her personality.
I know I wasn't much help but I want to give the most honest response that I can. I really do wish only the best for you, hubby and for Meka.:)

[Scooby4]

If your husband demands you get rid of the cat... BRING HIM IN HERE!!! We will take care of him!!! If he thinks that cat is bad wait till he sees what cat lovers will do!!! Good luck!!!

[catmandu]

Maybe New Cat Toys,or more personal attention.

[catnapper]

Sounds as if she in the past was bad and put outside to be got rid of... like she knows bad = outside. Poucner can be VERY bad, hoping that I'll give up and let him on the balcony for a bit. Cats are far from dumb! Keep up working with her. Cats going outside in a rural area is one thing, cats going outside in the suburbs or cities another. If you live in a busy area, please do try to not cave in and put her out. She'll get used to being an indoor-only cat soon.

I still seriously think she NEEDS a playmate. Make a deal with him... see if you could perhaps foster a cat from a local no-kill cat rescue. If she calms down after the inroduction period (there will be a tedious week or so of hissing and unhappy kitties) then you get to keep the foster. If she does not calm down after she and foster kitty make friends, then foster kitty goes once he/she is adopted. That way there is no financial output of your own like you did with Meka. You would only pay for second kitty if Meka approved of him.her.

[cruisetime]

I like the idea of fostering. I'm working on a friend who has two cats - one is about 5 months old and very active. I want to get them together to play. The only thing is I'm worried about putting them together as that was the kitten I got ringworm from and although she is "cured" I seem to be very supseptable to it myself. Anyway though it would be worth it to see how Meka does.

I've been telling her what a good girl she is - over and over while she is calm and she seems to be eating it up. And it seems to calm her down at least around me. We had to bring the plants in last night and she started in on one large one - just exploring - hubby didn't like it but luckaly he had to go to training at the volunteer firestation - he is a volunteer fireman.

I picked up a harness for her so I can take her outside on a leash today. I didn't like the idea of a leash with a colar because it looks like it chokes her. I don't like the idea she could get fleas outside but I guess I'll have to get the flea product you all have been recommending.

Thank you all for the support. It's what I need. :) :) :) Debbie

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Glad to hear it sounds like things are going better. :)

And her chewing on the plants reminded me. They make this spray citrus stuff that you can buy at any pet store. You spray it on the plants - or wherever you don't want her to be. Cats don't like the smell of the citrus, so they stay away. It worked a little bit for me when Tubby was a baby. But he was just so naw-tee back then that nothing worked for long. :rolleyes: ;) :D

Good luck on the leash. She may act like it's killing her at first, but she'll eventually get used to it and learn to ignore it, especially if she's outside and there's all that cool stuff to sniff at and check out. :)

[carole]

I sure hope your perserverence pays off, I am glad you are willing to put in the time to work things out with Meka, you obviously love her and want to keep her, GOOD LUCK.:)

[NoahsMommy]

That's a really good idea to get foster kitty. Do you know of any rescues in your area? If not, you can always check www.petfinder.com and find some in your area.

Regarding the plant issue. We keep our really high up when we have any inside. Our cats seem to think they are kitty treats. :rolleyes: