Self Injury

[Miranda_Rae]

Well I figured I would post about this since we have discussed everything else imaginable, and this has been mentioned a few times. I hope this is all right to post about, Karen. Where someone inflics harm upon themself to deal with their emotions. I have known a few people who have done it. Its a very sad thing. In some cases it becomes their LIFE! :( Does anyone knows or is friends with a self injurer? I was also wondering what your thoughts on it. There have been some famous people that have self-injured, Johnny Depp, Princess Dianna, Anolina Jolie (sp?) and others. Please don't post anything that would be triggering to a self-injurer. Thanks. :)

[aly]

I have a friend who does it :( I've tried everything under the sun to help him, but I can't :( It really breaks my heart.

[GraciesMommy]

Working at a junior high in a counselor's office I see quite a bit of it..they start very young..

[Tonya]

Both my brother and his wife have done that. His wife has horrible scars on her legs from it. This happened when they were in highschool. I am so glad that they're past that type of thing now.

[Mandy1]

I’m normally not open to talking about this but whatever here it goes :p


I recently went through a very hard time in my life and I can recall many times when I’ve hurt my self. A close friend of mine eventually realized that it was time to tell someone. I have been visiting the school guidance counselor frequently, I would never do it again, I realize the consequences of it and when I think back on it I can’t believe that I would of ever resorted to hurting myself over stress and other factors.

[Miranda_Rae]

Mandy, I am glad that you realized that you needed to stop. :) My friend and I were talking about it one night on msn. LOTS of people think its disgusting and vile, and the people are sick that do it. I think they have to be hurting a lot inside to do that to themselves, and I don't think they are sick or crazy or whatever. I do think though that when they start though and it becomes a way to deal with their emotions, they have a hard time recognizing their emotions and know how to deal with them in a healthy way (when they try to stop).

[CathyBogart]

My best friend from 4th through 10th grade was institutionalized when her mother found out how much she had been self-mutilating. I was not allowed to contact her at the institution, and she was sent away once she was released, no idea how to get in touch with her now. :(

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by WolfChan
My best friend from 4th through 10th grade was institutionalized when her mother found out how much she had been self-mutilating. I was not allowed to contact her at the institution, and she was sent away once she was released, no idea how to get in touch with her now. :(

I have a friend that tried to commit suicide about 4-5 times, and was in a mental hospital for awhile. My other friend said that she landed there because she was cutting, but not sure though. What are your thoughts about it though?

[CathyBogart]

I thought it was very sad when she started to mutilate...We had grown apart awhile before then, so I wasn't so close to her at the time, but the only reason her mother didn't find out about it from me was because another friend beat me to it.

I also called the police on the man that is currently my best friend because he called me to tell me he was trying to kill himself. He had been chronically depressed for a long time and had self-mutilated, and I didn't doubt him. It turned out he was faking it, trying to get attention.....spending the night in the psychiatric ward of the hospital strapped to his bed took that out of him. I was FURIOUS when I found out, and he later told me that my calling the police was the most caring thing anyone had ever done for him.

[micki76]

This is something that I just don't understand. :confused: How does harming yourself ever make your problems better? I'm sorry I'm not criticizing, I just don't get it.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by micki76
This is something that I just don't understand. :confused: How does harming yourself ever make your problems better? I'm sorry I'm not criticizing, I just don't get it.

It doesn't make your problems better. It makes you think that your problems are smaller or it numbs the feels you have about the problems. It turns the emotional pain into physical pain, something people can feel, touch, see and control. It can also serve as a self punishment. Say if someone goofs up on a paper or makes someone mad they can punish themselves for it. Or say that a person's life is just crazy and caotic, hurting themselves is something they can control, no one else. Did that help? Nope, you weren't criticizing. :)

[micki76]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae
It doesn't make your problems better. It makes you think that your problems are smaller or it numbs the feels you have about the problems. It turns the emotional pain into physical pain, something people can feel, touch, see and control. It can also serve as a self punishment. Say if someone goofs up on a paper or makes someone mad they can punish themselves for it. Or say that a person's life is just crazy and caotic, hurting themselves is something they can control, no one else. Did that help? Nope, you weren't criticizing. :)

Ok. I totally understand the self punishment thing. It's the numbing the emotional pain thing that I don't understand. I also haven't ever understood how doing drugs can make your problems "seem" better, or how it's "numbing" other than some drugs put your brain in a fog.

How does hurting oneself make the emotional pain any less, any different, any anything? For me, it would make it worse. "Oh, look. Now not only do I have this crappy problem, but I'm bleeding and my arm/leg/whatever hurts too." Not, "Well, now that makes me feel less crappy about whatever I did wrong."

Like I said, I just don't get it. :confused:

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by micki76
How does hurting oneself make the emotional pain any less, any different, any anything? For me, it would make it worse. "Oh, look. Now not only do I have this crappy problem, but I'm bleeding and my arm/leg/whatever hurts too." Not, "Well, now that makes me feel less crappy about whatever I did wrong."

Like I said, I just don't get it. :confused:

People who self injury don't see it that way. They think the physical pain is SO much better than the emotional pain (and in some cases they like the blood and the pain). A person who cut or whatever the problem goes away because they are focusing on the self injury and not the problem, although it does come back after awhile and then they have to go back to the cutting to "numb" or "forget" about the problem. There are some site on the Internet that you could read about why people do it, I am sure. :)

[sirrahved]

I was a cutter for a while when I was at my worst in middle school. I also would pull out my own hair, scratch myself until I bled, and squeeze every blemish down to the tiniest speck. I still do the last one occasionally, when I'm very stressed or upset.

I think it helped when nothing else could help. It always made me feel better. It seems really scary to someone who has never done it, but I never did it thinking about suicide or anything like that. When I did it I wanted to hurt physically so the emotional pain could be released.

Of course,I did often think about suicide, and I did also attempt suicide once... so maybe my opinions on it are invalid.

[Tonya]

I can sort of understand because I tend to get a tattoo or piercing when something traumatic happens in my life. Each time I've had a miscarriage, I've gotten a tattoo. For me, I think it was my only way of feeling like I had control of my body and my life at the time. And the physical pain got my mind off of the emotional pain that I was experiencing.

[flamepony12]

A kid that my friend knew for a long time drove his parents car over a cliff on Kanan road and committed suicide . It was horrible. he was the only one in the car though, not his parents . (This was not my friend, this was my friend;s friend.) :mad:

[NoahsMommy]

I used to be a child advocate for an abused child. She was 13 at the time and cut herself on her arms, legs and abdoman when she was going through a traumatic time. :(

She actually showed me her arms the first time she did it. She used a broken CD.

She explained to me that cutting/hurting herself physically was a way to try and tranfer emotional pain into something she could handle (and was used to), physical pain.

Its truly a horrible place to be in. :(

[Mandy1]

There are many reasons why people will chose to hurt themself.
Sometimes "Cutters" use self-harm to feel calm, "in control," of their body and life, others do it just to "feel something." Some people use it as a way to express anger against themselves
When people choose to cut, and hurt themselves it usually indicates that the person didn't learn good ways of coping with their feelings and stress. They’re not sick or screwed up; they just never learned positive ways to deal with their feelings and emotions.

[Miranda_Rae]

Mandy, you explained it pretty well. :)

Tonya, yeah thats what people who cut or w/e are trying to do sometimes, turn it into something they can feel/control etc. Thanks everyone for posting about this. I was just curious though, everyone has kind of posted people that they know who have done it, but they have never really posted what THEIR thoughts are on it.

[Miranda_Rae]

*bump* What do you guys all think of it?

[carole]

Micki I too felt the same way as you, I just did not get it, but coming on this thread has explained it very well, and I now have some understanding, I guess some people turn to drugs, food,alcohol or cutting, its just a way of releasing your emotional pain, please correct me if I got it wrong here.

For me it is a little hard to understand wanting pain, I have daily pain due to having fibromyalgia, and I would do anything not to have it, I did not choose to have this pain, and someone who cuts themselves does,so inflicting pain on oneself is extremely hard for me to fathom, but I am beginning to understand it a little.

I am not sure that it is not a form of a mental illness though, and i mean that ever so respectfully, just my thoughts.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
I am not sure that it is not a form of a mental illness though, and i mean that ever so respectfully, just my thoughts.

Carole, you weren't disrespectful. :) Cutting or any other type of self injury (such as burning etc) can go along with forms of mental illness, such as depression, obsessive compulive, maniac, etc. I am sure there are a lot more. :o

[Tollers-n-Dobes]

My "friend" who isn't really much of a friend anymore had started that this summer:( I think she's quit now though, hopefully anyway.

[sirrahbed]

Yes, I have come in contact and know of several people - all women, who self mutilate - or are "cutters." How do I feel about it? I feel sad and compassionate about it the same way I feel about the behaviors that any of of use to deal with terrific emotional pain in our lives. I do not see it as "gross" or "disgusting" if that is what you are asking, but I know the cutters worry that they are seen that way. People that DO it feel like it is and are ashamed about it in the same way that people who use alcohol, medications, food disorders, other self mutilation such as hair pulling, burning, etc or self destructive behaviors feel - they turn to this when life seems out of control and this is a way to be in charge or control of one tiny part of their lives and brings a relief and catharsis - even though it essentially is self defeating.

The most recent women I have come in contact with, who are cutters, are though my attendance at retreat seminars and workshops for victims of clergy sexual abuse, which also includes many victims of sexual trauma and abuse as well. Most (at retreats) have resulting psychiatric diagoses such as PTSD- post traumatic stress disorder (mine), bipolor, MDD (major depressive episodes) and others.

Off topic a bit, but I have migraine headaches. There have been times when I have been so upset and frustrated with the throbbing that I have literally beat my head on the bedboard or the kitchen counter. The harder I pounded, the better I felt. Did my headache go away? No, but I felt the tension released. At the time, I was also disgusted with myself and figured so what if I damaged myself.

Anyone who feels the behavior is weird or gross just does not understand it yet. I would bet that everyone has behaviors that they would not want the world to know about for fear that others would not understand the reasons behind it. I had trouble understanding how cutting would bring relief but now I understand it better and know that it is these ladies' way of gaining control and numbing themselves. I have heard them say that the pain is nothing compaired to the pain in their heart. THAT I can understand.

[Miranda_Rae]

Oh Debbie, you explained it SO wonderfully. People who self injure are so ashamed of it and don't want any one to know, even if it is some one very close to them. Not everyone that self injures has been sexually abused, and they are not all women, although the majority are.

Devon, how did you find out about your "friends" self harm if you aren't that close to her? :confused:

[Tollers-n-Dobes]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae
how did you find out about your "friends" self harm if you aren't that close to her? :confused:

Becasue she was my best friend for a VERY long time,we were pretty close friends:) Now I just don't have alot in common with her, she's into drugs and a bunch of really stupid things that none of you really need to know about:rolleyes:

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Unfortunately, yeah, I do know someone who cuts. It hurts ME so bad to see her hurting so bad. It probably hurts me more than it hurts her because of the distance between her and I, and the fact that I can't be there with her. I don't know how to help her, and I've caught myself crying when she tells me what she does to herself. I don't know if maybe she doesn't realize that it hurts me so bad, but I don't know what else I can do to help her. I don't think she knows how much I love her as a person.

:(

[Miranda_Rae]

Devin, thanks for the reply. Did you stop being friends with her because of the SI or because of the drugs and stuff like that? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. :)
Abby, I agree. I think it hurts the people around the injurer more than the it does the SIer. Because they feel helpless and they don't know what to do. They worry about what to say/ what not to say as they don't want to send the person into a cutting/burning whatever spree. It also hurts them deeply to see people they love hurting themselves that way.
Another reason people SI is because they have SO much self hatred toward themself that they don't know what to do with it, or so much anger they don't know what to do with that instead of hurting someone else they hurt themselves.
Debbie, isn't your daughter sirrahved? Cause I thought she was. Correct me if I am wrong. :o But anyway, if she is your daughter, did you know about the cutting when she was in middle school? If so how did you react/handle the situation? Just curious. It would be helpful for other people to know a parents perspective. :)

[Kfamr]

I'm with Micki. I don't believe i'll ever understand the reasoning behind this. Those who do cut/self injure themselves need a LOT of help, but the fact is a lot of them are too stubborn to recieve it.

That said, I know plenty of people who do it, and sadly it's almost become a trend and "cool" thing to cut yourself and show off your scars. :rolleyes:

[popcornbird]

I don't understand this cutting thing either. I don't know anyone who does it personally. In fact...I never even knew people cut themselves so commonly until I joined PT. I guess I don't hang out with such people, so I'd never know who cuts themselves. Its really, very sad. I cannot understand how ANYONE could find comfort by hurting themselves. Really...I think people who cut themselves have serious issues in life and need help. I just don't understand it.

[sweet_stormy]

i did that once... only once... i got really stressed out in school with everything goin on... but i know better now... that didnt solve anything for me... my best friend found out about it when he grabbed my arm... i said "ouch" and he found out then... but im past that now... im better :D

~*Becky*~

[Mandy1]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I'm with Micki. I don't believe i'll ever understand the reasoning behind this. Those who do cut/self injure themselves need a LOT of help, but the fact is a lot of them are too stubborn to recieve it.

That said, I know plenty of people who do it, and sadly it's almost become a trend and "cool" thing to cut yourself and show off your scars. :rolleyes:


I've never heard of 'cutting' becoming a trend.


It's not that people are to 'stubborn' it more that people are embarresed and don't want to tell anyone about it.

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by Mandy1
I've never heard of 'cutting' becoming a trend.


It's not that people are to 'stubborn' it more that people are embarresed and don't want to tell anyone about it.

Just come to my school then.

Kids shows off their cuts and scars all the time like it's some sort of awesome thing to do.

And yes, many of the kids in my school are stubborn.

[Mandy1]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Just come to my school then.

Kids shows off their cuts and scars all the time like it's some sort of awesome thing to do.

And yes, many of the kids in my school are stubborn.

Thats sad :(

[Cincy'sMom]

I have heard that self-mutilation is the "new" tatoo or piercing trend. Sad when a seriuos disease, or state of mind, becomes a popular trend.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Just come to my school then.

Kids shows off their cuts and scars all the time like it's some sort of awesome thing to do.

And yes, many of the kids in my school are stubborn.

Yeah, it is sort of a trend. There seems to be an epidimic out there where kids thrive off of being angry and depressed. Actually, I can't even say it's trendy for sure. For the most part, if you hang out with angry, hurt, depressed people you are going to wind up feeling down too. It's almost contagious.

[luckies4me]

I cut myself fairly often. Sometimes it's out of boredom or frustration. It doesn't hurt and it's just a little razor cut. It's not really a big deal, and it's better than taking out the frustration out on others. I hate how people automatically assume you are crazy just for cutting yourself. I haven't done it in a long time, but it's the same as people drinking caffeine. It's my body so I can do what I choose right?

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I'm with Micki. I don't believe i'll ever understand the reasoning behind this. Those who do cut/self injure themselves need a LOT of help, but the fact is a lot of them are too stubborn to recieve it.

That said, I know plenty of people who do it, and sadly it's almost become a trend and "cool" thing to cut yourself and show off your scars. :rolleyes:

To me real self injurers are the ones that do it to release emotional pain, and who hide their cuts and scars by long shirts, pants, braclets, etc. and who do everything in their power to not let anyone know that they do that. They willl avoid social situations because of it, they will lie to their friends and family so that they don't find out about it. To me THAT is who a self injurer is, not someone who harms themselves and tells the whole world. That person is trying to get attention and unfortunately the wrong way. I do agree though that some people have taken cutting or w/e as "cool" and the newest trend, sadly. I am sorry that a lot of people in your school use it as the newest "trend". I wish that a lot more people would understand it and just not say "oh its the newest trend and thats why people do it." A person who i think is a "real" self injurer not a lot of people would know, not even their best friends, they hide it from everyone they know. I don't think that people who do self harm for what i listed above are trying to be cool or using the new "trend".

Luckies4me, I have a question for you. You say that it just hurts you, but what do you think your friends feel like when they find out that you are do that? I am sure that it makes them sad. And when your son gets older do you want him to think that hurting himself is ok because mom did it? How would it make you feel to know that your son does it because he thinks its ok because mom did it? Just curious. I didn't mean to jump all over you if thats what it sounded like. :o

[carole]

Cass I was kinda shocked to read that you have cut yourself through boredom and fustration, the latter I can understand some, but boredom, hmm that amazes me.

Miranda Rae asks some good questions, I am sure knowing you Cass that you would never cut yourself in front of your son, he would be totally unaware of it.

I am just glad to hear you no longer feel the need to do it anymore. :)

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
Miranda Rae asks some good questions, I am sure knowing you Cass that you would never cut yourself in front of your son, he would be totally unaware of it.

I hope I didn't give the impression that you did it in front of your son, Cass. I'm sorry if I did though, I didn't mean to. :o

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae


Luckies4me, I have a question for you. You say that it just hurts you, but what do you think your friends feel like when they find out that you are do that? I am sure that it makes them sad. And when your son gets older do you want him to think that hurting himself is ok because mom did it? How would it make you feel to know that your son does it because he thinks its ok because mom did it? Just curious. I didn't mean to jump all over you if thats what it sounded like. :o

No it doesn't hurt, at all. Have you ever been holding a cat and it scratches you on accident? Well, that is worse than what I've done. I guess I just get bored or something and to be honest I just like it. I don't slice myself open like all the others and would NEVER do that. If I was in that much pain I'd rather have a good wrestling match with my bf for fun than torture myself. No worries about the questions. I don't see it at a big deal. My friends know I do it, and I don't do it around my son. It's so very minor, like I said. I see it as the same as people wanting tatoos or piercings. Getting a tat is so much more invasive than this! I don't have nasty scars on my body. I do have some, but they dissapear in a few months. And Dylan doesn't know I cut (I hate that word because I don't consider myself a "cutter") myself, and never will. I have worse scars from my pets than myself. :p Plus I haven't done it for about a month. Like I said, I guess it's more out of boredom and the fact that I like blood. As soon as I see blood I stop. It's the same feeling I get when I sit down and finish coloring a picture I drew or putting on makeup....I guess I can't really describe it.

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by carole
Cass I was kinda shocked to read that you have cut yourself through boredom and fustration, the latter I can understand some, but boredom, hmm that amazes me.

Miranda Rae asks some good questions, I am sure knowing you Cass that you would never cut yourself in front of your son, he would be totally unaware of it.

I am just glad to hear you no longer feel the need to do it anymore. :)

Well, the last time I attempted my friend stopped me, which kind of pissed me off because I don't see it as a big deal. I mean if I were really hurting myself than yes, but I have no thoughts of suicide so it's not like i'm gonna go run away and lock myself in a bathroom, and it's just tiny tiny scratches. But anyway, I haven't done it for a long time. I guess it all started when I was in junior high and my brother and all our friends cut an hour glass figure into our arms to form a "pact". Ahh I bet I sound so silly. Oh well.

[carole]

Cass maybe you should be asking yourself, why you felt the need to do it? I don't think boredom would be the real reason, I find that hard to understand, I guess I am having trouble seeing the logic behind it, your reasons etc, but hey if you see it as no big deal, I guess its not really a problem as such.:)

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by carole
Cass maybe you should be asking yourself, why you felt the need to do it? I don't think boredom would be the real reason, I find that hard to understand, I guess I am having trouble seeing the logic behind it, your reasons etc, but hey if you see it as no big deal, I guess its not really a problem as such.:)

I just consider it something I do because I'm stupid. :p Why do people turn themselves into tigers? There really is no need. I just do it to do it I guess. I used to do it out of frustration just so I could feel the pain and I would go deeper, but now I just do it for the heck of it. I don't know, I have issues! :p

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by luckies4me
No it doesn't hurt, at all. Have you ever been holding a cat and it scratches you on accident? Well, that is worse than what I've done. I guess I just get bored or something and to be honest I just like it. I don't slice myself open like all the others and would NEVER do that. If I was in that much pain I'd rather have a good wrestling match with my bf for fun than torture myself. No worries about the questions. I don't see it at a big deal. My friends know I do it, and I don't do it around my son. It's so very minor, like I said. I see it as the same as people wanting tatoos or piercings. Getting a tat is so much more invasive than this! I don't have nasty scars on my body. I do have some, but they dissapear in a few months. And Dylan doesn't know I cut (I hate that word because I don't consider myself a "cutter") myself, and never will. I have worse scars from my pets than myself. :p Plus I haven't done it for about a month. Like I said, I guess it's more out of boredom and the fact that I like blood. As soon as I see blood I stop. It's the same feeling I get when I sit down and finish coloring a picture I drew or putting on makeup....I guess I can't really describe it.
If you don't think its a big deal then I guess its not, but my thoughts are that if you do it some day when your son is older I am sure he will find out and I think the message you are giving him is that its ok to cut yourself (even though you hate that word and don't consider yourself a cutter thats what you are doing). Just my thoughts, and what do you mean "slice yourself open"? When you cut deep enough to see blood I would consider it slicing yourself open. Just curious. Again, I don't want you to think that I am critizing you, I am NOT and I am not trying to. I'm sorry if I sound like it though. I understand what you are saying though. :)

[carole]

Cass my dear you are anything but stupid, that was my whole point really, I think I know what a great girl you are, and it just saddens me to think you would do this to yourself,I tend to agree with you , that you must have some issues, that is what I was trying to say, before you find it necessary to do this to yourself.

Cass you know I think the world of you, so please don't feel I am getting at you, I am just trying to get my head around it all and come out with some understanding.:)

[Miranda_Rae]

Carole, I thought the same thing too. I don't think she is stupid at all! She is very smart, bright and beautiful, inside and out. :)

[lizbud]

Originally posted by luckies4me
I just consider it something I do because I'm stupid. :p Why do people turn themselves into tigers? There really is no need. I just do it to do it I guess. I used to do it out of frustration just so I could feel the pain and I would go deeper, but now I just do it for the heck of it. I don't know, I have issues! :p


Self injury is not done by stupid people, it's done by seriously
disturbed people. It is not normal and is usually a sign of more
serious issues below the surface.

I'm surprised to see you admit to this publicly and you may yet
decide to delete your previous posts, but it seems like a real
call for help. It would do you good to go see a professional
health care worker to talk about this. I don't think your life is
at all what you want it to be right now and you would benefit
from professional help. Good Luck.

[Mandy1]

Originally posted by lizbud
Self injury is not done by stupid people, it's done by seriously
disturbed people. It is


I don't think its done by disturbed people. Maybe its just me but I don't think "disturbed" discribes it well. I think its done by people that need some help, there not 'disturbed' there just upset.

[Kfamr]

Disturbed is basically someone whom is emotionally/mentally upset, so I do believe disturbed is a correct term to describe people who "Self Injure" themselves.

[luckies4me]

There is no need for me to do it again, so really I don't have to. Yes I do have issues, but so does everyone. I am not perfect. ;) And I'm not seriously disturbed either. But if you feel that way that's just you and there is nothing I can do about it. I've only done it about 4 times and I don't mind telling because I don't really care. It's not a big deal to me.

I won't do it around my son because I don't see why I would EVER do that. Some people just like certain things others don't. Why do people get surface piercings, or hang themselves up by metal hooks through their back? Again, what's normal to you might not be normal to someone else, so why fret what others think? ;) I don't think I need help for giving myself tiny scratches. That's a little overboard I think. :rolleyes:

[lizbud]

Thats' just my point. "Needs" should be expressed verbally not
expressed as an action of self injury. You should talk to someone
( a professional) who can help you see that.

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by lizbud
Thats' just my point. "Needs" should be expressed verbally not
expressed as an action of self injury. You should talk to someone
( a professional) who can help you see that.

Actually, I've been looking into some help recently anyway, so if I do have a problem I am sure they would be able to help me. :)

[sirrahved]

I think that there are lots of things to worry about more than cutting, unless it becomes frequent and severe. The release I got from self injury during my teen years kept me alive, I believe. It's not a healthy action, but all of us have quirks.

Sometimes I would imagine my internal pain as an actual substance--and that it had to be "let out." Deep feelings of rage, anger, and hurt would dissipate with just a few slices with my "cutting glass." I honestly don't know where else I could have gone in my darkest times.

How can this be condemned?

[Miranda_Rae]

Yes, people who self harm have emotional problems but that doesn't make them crazy....granted some are but generally they aren't. I really don't think a lot of people understand it. Again, they never learned positive coping methods, or they did but they choice to use self harm instead. Here is a list of reasons that I found that people self injure. I don't think it should be condemned because in a way you are condemning the person doing it, but it also shouldn't be encouraged.


Escape from emptiness, depression, and feelings of unreality.
Easing tension.
Providing relief: when intense feelings build, self-injurers are overwhelmed and unable to cope. By causing pain, they reduce the level of emotional and physiological arousal to a bearable one.
Relieving anger: many self-injurers have enormous amounts of rage within. Afraid to express it outwardly, they injure themselves as a way of venting these feelings.
Escaping numbness: many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.
Grounding in reality, as a way of dealing with feelings of depersonalization and dissociation
Maintaining a sense of security or feeling of uniqueness
Obtaining a feeling of euphoria
Preventing suicide

Expressing emotional pain they feel they cannot bear
Obtaining or maintaining influence over the behavior of others
Communicating to others the extent of their inner turmoil
Communicating a need for support
Expressing or coping with feelings of alienation
Validating their emotional pain -- the wounds can serve as evidence that those feelings are real

Continuing abusive patterns: self-injurers tend to have been abused as children.
Punishing oneself for being "bad"
Obtaining biochemical relief: there is some thought that adults who were repeatedly traumatized as children have a hard time returning to a "normal" baseline level of arousal and are, in some sense, addicted to crisis behavior. Self-harm can perpetuate this kind of crisis state
Diverting attention (inner or outer) from issues that are too painful to examine
Exerting a sense of control over one's body
Preventing something worse from happening

[Tonya]

Originally posted by lizbud
Self injury is not done by stupid people, it's done by seriously
disturbed people. It is not normal and is usually a sign of more
serious issues below the surface.

I'm surprised to see you admit to this publicly and you may yet
decide to delete your previous posts, but it seems like a real
call for help. It would do you good to go see a professional
health care worker to talk about this. I don't think your life is
at all what you want it to be right now and you would benefit
from professional help. Good Luck.

I have to say that I agree. No one should ever drink, smoke, do drugs, get tattoos or piercings, or cut themselves in order to deal with their emotions. There are right and wrong ways to deal with emotions. I'm not criticizing at all, like I said, I've gotten a tattoo for every miscarriage. The bottom line is like lizbud said...It's not normal. There is nothing ok or right about damaging your body for the sake of releasing emotions.

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Those who do cut/self injure themselves need a LOT of help, but the fact is a lot of them are too stubborn to recieve it.

This is NOT true. Most of these people don't have an outlet to recieve help. In the case with my "child", the only adults in her life were beating her! She struggled with a ton of emotional problems, only to be called "psycho" at school when she tried to seek help.

Do not generalize about something you don't understand.

[NoahsMommy]

Yeah, it is sort of a trend. There seems to be an epidimic out there where kids thrive off of being angry and depressed.
This is totally sad. Especially for the kids/people that are depressed clinically and have valid reasons for their emotional pain.

[leslie]

miranda- What you last posted was very helpful! I actually was reminded of an anorexic I once knew who has since died of from her lack of eating- her controlling of food seems to meet many of the criteria you listed.
I worked with only one cutter in my time with my work with the mentally ill. (As a promenant feature). She was very independent and well into her 40's. She cut her arms both on the inside and out. A lot. So much that I couldn't tell what was new and what was old from day to day. I checked her arms daily before and after she left home, and sometimes her arms were so raw, there was no way for me to know if she had "recently" cut (like within the last day or hour etc). She experienced (she said) flashbacks constantly of her being abused by her father. This was before Geodone and Abilify that have helped people with flashes.
I now see a woman now who has less flashbacks than ever (used to be daily) and she has a history of "trying" to cut (an urge) but hasn't. She is in her 40's and her father had sex with her from age 7 on into her teens. Her head is dented from when he smashed her head with a baseball bat. She is blind in one eye from this. She has never cut herself and I think she is one of the most heroic women I have ever met! She has problems but is dealing with them through therapy very consistently! (DBT therapy- esp. designed for ptsd)

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
Do not generalize about something you don't understand.



I understand it quite well, I just don't understand why or how someone is capable of doing it.
I know that sometimes I just accidently cut myself with something, and it could be the tiniest little scratch, and it hurts like all heck. How someone could do something like that - purposefully to themselves is just beyond me.

But then again, I guess some people would think i'm clinicly insane for spending time with and hugging my dogs when I'm upset. I guess that just feels good for me, like cutting feels for cutters... although my outlet hurts in no way.

I know many people who do this, some of them being my best friend/s.


And I didn't say ALL of them were too stubborn to recieve help. I said a lot of them, and that's TRUE according to the children in my school.

You've got to admit. A large amount of teenagers and pre-teens are very stubborn. I'll admit being so. :p

[Miranda_Rae]

Kay, there are a lot of people who self harm who COULD get help if they asked for it, but a lot of times they are too ashamed, and they fear they will be looked at as sick, twisted, or disturbed. Also some don't want help. I don't think you are clinically insane for hugging your dogs when you are upset. I do that too, and I am going to assume that a lot of people on here do so I guess we are all crazy. :p

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by Kfamr
And I didn't say ALL of them were too stubborn to recieve help. I said a lot of them, and that's TRUE according to the children in my school.

You've got to admit. A large amount of teenagers and pre-teens are very stubborn. I'll admit being so. :p
I will agree to this. :)

I apoligize if my post was harsh. After my year-long experience with my "child", I'm really sensitive to anything like that. I feel she was ignored and made to feel bad for what happened to her by her family and her "friends". I couldn't protect her from those people, but could against people that didn't know her. Poor thing. :( People really do suck, sometimes.

I hope your friends will stop hurting themselves. Its sad they do that for the attention seeking too.

[lovemykalenagirl]

i have a friend that did that she eventually told her teacher and she told the teacher not to tell any one and the teacher promised, later that week the princable went up to her and took the sicers away and i think her family put her in a mental hospital and when she got back she had about 100 scars on her arms legs and singhs of the devil. i think it made it worse but after that i dont think she has every hert herself again

[cookieluver7]

No, I really don't know of anybody who does but I think it is terrible. How could somebody do something to themselves. It is terribly sad.:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

[carole]

I have never heard of people cutting themselves in my young day, does this mean it has become a trend or a new way of dealing with your problems, or that it did exist, it just was not brought out in the open as it is today, just curious?

I think anyone who cuts themselves, uses alcohol or drugs to deal with their problems does need help, it does not by any means suggest that they are crazy, they just need to develop a more healthier way of coping, IMO.

Let's face it Human beings are very good at abusing our bodies, whether it be through the above means or something different, how many of you have drunk too much and had a bad hang-over the next day, and how often have we done this to our bodies, I can raise my hand to that, does it mean we are all crazy for doing so, think of the effects on our bodies.

Teetotallers could assume we are all crazy for doing that, and sometimes I have to agree, human beings are stupid fullstop, it just depends why you are choosing these options, and if it is to release emotional pain, or stress, then professional help should be sought IMO.

P.S I think it is brave of Cass to publicly admit her problem and I appauld her for that, I know Cass you don't seem bothered by it, But I think deep down you are, and I am so happy to hear sweetie that you are going to seek help, HUGS.

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by carole


P.S I think it is brave of Cass to publicly admit her problem and I appauld her for that, I know Cass you don't seem bothered by it, But I think deep down you are, and I am so happy to hear sweetie that you are going to seek help, HUGS.

Thank you! I haven't done it for a very long time. I think I am good at getting my thoughts out in writing but when it comes to other means I have a very difficult time.

[carole]

Cass I can relate to that well, as I am sure many of us can, that is why I love PT, I can say things much better here than in person, and sweetie if it helps by telling us here, then that is one big step in the right direction, good luck with the face to face consult, its always harder in those situations.

You should be proud that you are not cutting anymore, maybe it means you have found a better way to deal with your issues, not that you should be ashamed, just finding healthier options is a really good start, more HUGS from me to you.:)

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
I have never heard of people cutting themselves in my young day, does this mean it has become a trend or a new way of dealing with your problems, or that it did exist, it just was not brought out in the open as it is today, just curious?

I think anyone who cuts themselves, uses alcohol or drugs to deal with their problems does need help, it does not by any means suggest that they are crazy, they just need to develop a more healthier way of coping, IMO.

Teetotallers could assume we are all crazy for doing that, and sometimes I have to agree, human beings are stupid fullstop, it just depends why you are choosing these options, and if it is to release emotional pain, or stress, then professional help should be sought IMO.

P.S I think it is brave of Cass to publicly admit her problem and I appauld her for that, I know Cass you don't seem bothered by it, But I think deep down you are, and I am so happy to hear sweetie that you are going to seek help, HUGS.

Carole, I'm not sure when your "young days" were, but I am going to assume in like the 60s (sorry if I am wrong :o), then yes, self injury did happen, but it wasn't talked about, it was taboo, and people who did that were often locked up in a mental hospital.

I agree that they need to learn healthier coping methods, and alot of times the person doesn't have any respect for their body and for themselves. Some hate themselves with SO much passion, its just scary. :(

I also think its brave of Cass to admit it publicly, because a lot of people who do that are ashamed and don't want people to know.

I want to clear one thing up real quick. I did get a PM from someone suggesting that I might be a self injurer myself. I am going to assume the reason that person thought I was a self injurer is because I know so much about it. The reason that I happen to know so much about it is because I am close to a situation that involves self injury (which I don't feel comfortable talking about on a forum as its too close and too painful for me), and I couldn't quite understand it, so I decided to read up on it on the internet, and thats how come I know so much about it. After I read up on it, I could understand it a little, and be more understand towards those that choose to cope in that way. Reading about things that I don't understand and can't quite grasp, such as self injury or drugs/alcohol or anything else, I can understand it a little more after I read about it. It doesn't mean I agree with it, in no way do I agree with self harm as a coping tool, but I can understand it better, so it helps with the situation that I am close to. :)

[leslie]

I highly doubt self-injury was a way of coping before recently. There were other ways of coping in the 60's. Grass, running away from home, music, and sex without first getting married. The generation had enough to do with out self-loathing. It was a different era and a different mind-think completely. People were not out to hurt themselves but to find fault with society and rebel against the norms. The 70's brought us anorexia and bulimia. Now it is a whole new way of getting anxiety's dulled.

[Mandy1]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae

I want to clear one thing up real quick. I did get a PM from someone suggesting that I might be a self injurer myself. I am going to assume the reason that person thought I was a self injurer is because I know so much about it. The reason that I happen to know so much about it is because I am close to a situation that involves self injury (which I don't feel comfortable talking about on a forum as its too close and too painful for me), and I couldn't quite understand it, so I decided to read up on it on the internet, and thats how come I know so much about it. After I read up on it, I could understand it a little, and be more understand towards those that choose to cope in that way. Reading about things that I don't understand and can't quite grasp, such as self injury or drugs/alcohol or anything else, I can understand it a little more after I read about it. It doesn't mean I agree with it, in no way do I agree with self harm as a coping tool, but I can understand it better, so it helps with the situation that I am close to. :)

I think you made it clear that you are not a self injurer!

[carole]

Miranda Rae I was just a kid in the 60's, so I am talking more about like in my teenage years and older, 70's and 80's, It was just something I never heard about , and only recently have.

I find it good to beable to come here and try to understand these things, ignorance is not bliss, and one never knows when someone you know or are close to may indeed be cutting, if coming here can help me understand even a little I find that a positive thing.

Alot of people seem to find cutting abhorent to them, not saying I find it a nice thing to think about, but really is it that different to abusing our bodies with substances or other addictions, isn't it just that an addiction maybe in some cases.??

[luckies4me]

OK, you all are right. I do have problems. :( And now I know how it feels when you know someone you care about is doing it. My friend and I had a very lengthy discussion tonight about our past and things that have happened to us, and he mentioned he was doing it the other day but stopped himself. This is the same person who stopped me. I felt so sad hearing this. We talked for hours about so much. I think it really helped and I am glad there is someone out there who has had similar things happen to them in their childhood, just a good person to talk to who is a good friend.

I need help. I'm sure most of you who read my journal will agree with me. I have a good reason to live though, and that's my son and my wonderful friends!

[carole]

Cass sweetheart we are always here to help, if my prying helped you to admit to yourself that you have problems and need professional help, then hey I am glad I am nosey lol, but seriously, I was hoping you would beable to do just that, I guess that is why I directed my questions at you.

The fact you came online here and told us about it, really is a step in the right direction, I wish for you to feel inner peace and happiness you so deserve, with the right help , I hope that can be achieved, and you are right you have the best reason in the world to get well, your darling young son. HUGS....:)