work place bully

[joycenalex]

i've got a work place bully, and i'm planning on taking some steps to make the bullying stop. i'd appreciate some feed back. background first, i've worked there 7 years, and while i have in-office friends, but i'm not "one of the popular girls", most of whom are friends with the boss. the bully is part of a clique that has in the recent past gotten another employee into deep trouble by carrying tales and the drip drip of gossip to the boss, that employee, cindy, is now on an 'employee improvement plan'. the bully has worked there for 3 years, i will say she is an excellent technologist and very capable. she has been dating this guy for 18 months at least, but he hasn't proposed and to be married is what she really wants. i think that is upsetting to her. our boss is being pulled out of the office for meetings quite often and isn't seeing alot of these behaviors. on monday, the bully told me to dump the laundry, on wednesday, i took a message(one of many daily from her sister) and left it on the computer where she was assigned, she was not in my line of sight, and i was engaged in helping my patient, so i didn't go looking for her, 3 minutes later, when she found the note, she fussed b/c i didn't come and get her. on friday before lunch, she raised her voice to me, and i when i explained that i was doing something else at that minute, but would be there soon, she verbally attacked me for not dropping what i was doing to help her. none of this was in front of other staff. i said, stop, we'll discuss this with the boss on monday, i'm done. at that point she said if i wanted to tattle to go ahead. she then went to the lunch room and announced my 'transgressions' to the assembled staff. intrestingly, none came to talk to me about it.
i spent time thinking about it and decided that i would do was document last weeks events, ask the boss for a meeting with the bully and the boss on monday, and call the employee assistance program to set up some stress related discussion for me, and to be vigilant in my internal job search.
i like my job, i need to keep it, but i'm not willing to let the bullys' behavior start getting me into trouble with my boss. i know that by going to my boss, and complaining about one of her friends i'm making waves. how come the mean girls from high school still thrive in a work enviroment. sigh.

[LKPike]

seriously, tell her to grow up and snap out of the immature high school drama bullS***. Youve been there way longer than her, so why put up with her crap? You should have more authority than her, and the boss should trust you way more than her. With me, I give the respect I get. If someone wants to have attitude with me then the respect stops, and I can be just much a b*tch than them. With my last job I put up with one managers attitude thinking maybe he just is having a bad week, but when it continued and continued I left an hour early, got into a fight with him in the front of the restaurant - he started it and I finished it by quitting, he went back in the restaurant if he continued it I definatly would have started punching. I don't have any problem admitting that, no person has the right to be in my face about an issue I didn't start. But I think what would work for you for now, is the next time she tries to start something just smile and walk away. Don't say anything, ignoring those type people is usually best way to get them back. Really thats all their looking for, is attention.

[leslie]

What is the work you do? And did no one come to talk to you about what she said because it's kinda a "given" that she's full of crap? or that what she did is out of the norm and no one wants to be involved, or hear it? I mean, is it normal to complain about a co-worker to a group of co-workers? Where I work, if someone did that, they would be "out". They would be reported for trying to start trouble because it is so unprofessional.