I need all the hugs you can spare.

[jenluckenbach]

I will admit that this thread is not cat related. And I will further admit that I only wanted to post it here, and not general, as this is where I am the most comfortable.

I am terribly depressed. I have been crying myself SICK! And all over a person who I concidered a great friend and one who obviously has not returned the feeling.

The hurt is real and it is devastating. My mind will not allow me to move past it. I dwell and I dwell, wondering what could be so wrong with me to make someone, who for over a year and a half has, told me they loved me (as a dear friend) all of a sudden not even want me to send an email.

This hurts is equal to the loss of my friend to an untimely death 2 years ago. How can I lose 2 close friends in such short amount of a time and still continue to function?

Just so you know where I stand, I have begun working with a psychiatrist to find a medicine to help my uncontrolled depression (which I have had most of my life) and will begin to talk to a councellor (even though I can not forsee it helping).

I do not feel very good about myself right now. I have always hated myself and when people do things like this to me it just serves to prove how unworthy I am and how unloved.

I am sorry to burden you all with a depressing thread, but I need shoulders......LOTS of shoulders to cry on.

[joycenalex]

*((HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*(HUG)*HUG)*( HUG)

[joycenalex]

oh yeah, you are a special blessing from god and are worthy of unconditional love , today, tomorrow and always.

[catcrazylady]

Jen I have no idea what the story is behind all this but as with all people that we love feelings get hurt very easy. Maybe this is just a bad time in this other persons life and they are letting their anger out on you. All humans have a tendancy to get very angry at many things and then one small thing said or done by someone you love and trust seems to cause the volcano to erupt! I think that is because you trust that person enough to let your feelings out and they end up catching the brunt of lifes problems.
What makes you so sure that it is you Jen? Maybe you did something to agitate this person at a bad time and a mole hill became a mountain. Don't be so quick to blame yourself. Even if you did something horrible to this person all you can do is apologize and a true friend would try to understand whatever happened. I find it hard to believe that you could do something that bad to anyone!
Hang tough Jen and quit beating yourself up. It sounds like you are doing everything possible to get to your inner self and deal with your feelings so IMO the next step belongs to your friend.
Nobody that does as much good as you do can be as bad as you seem to think of yourself! Don't ever forget that in the end we answer to only one and He knows your heart.

{{{HUGS}}}

[K & L]

Depression is a nasty thing that can make us feel and do things we wouldn't under normal circumstances. I'm no professional here, but want to encourage you to start looking at all the positive things in your life. You have a wonderful husband, home, and heart. Look what you do for creatures no one even cares about. This friend was not a true friend to act this way. The ONLY thing you could blame yourself for is poor judgement, which we all have at times! I'm glad you're seeking a professional to help you through this! Keep in mind all the people here that love and respect you! If you ever need to talk, please give me a call! Just PM me and I'll give you my phone number. Hang in there Jen we all LOVE you!

[slick]

Jen:
I've just sent you and email.

slick
xoxo

[chrangharris]

Hugs and prayers are coming your way!

[LoudLou]

HUGE HUGS

[catnapper]

{{{{HUGS}}}} I am sorry all this is happening. Please take the time to hugs Charlie and the cats, and ask them for purr therapy. I am sure this will pass and you two will be friends again.

You know I think you are a WONDERFUL, fun, vibrant woman. I don't know what else to say, so I'll just give you some more hugs

{{{{HUG}}}}

{{{{HUG}}}}

{{{{HUG}}}}

[prechrswife]

((((((Hugs))))))

[lbaker]

The weather outside is cold today but the love and thoughts from your friends here will hopefully keep you warm. Put your right arm around your left shoulder RIGHT NOW, JUST DO IT! And your left arm around your right shoulder.. JEN, don't worry if it looks funny :rolleyes: now squeeze tightly and give yourself a HUG.. that's from us :cool:
Laurie

[catmandu]

Huga,are coming from the Found Cats,and I,and I will try,to get you,on the phone,tonight.Jen,you are a Good Person,and Our Hero,and you cant lets an idiots lack,of consideration,get you down,as she is the unworthy one,not you.Please dont get depressed,over someones meaness.You have the love,and respect,of everyone,on Pet Talk,all the people,that I have spoken, to,on the phone,think so highly of you.Gary,The Found Cats,Stary Cats and Pet Angels.

[ChrisH]

Depression is an awful thing I know and when someone 'dumps' on you it makes it 100 times worse. {{Big hugs}} to you dear lady.

Chris
p.s. I sent you a pm

[trayi52]

Jen, I want you to know that I am here for you. You was there for me when I was so down I just didn't feel like I would never be able to get up again, as all the wonderful people of Pet Talk was.

We all love you! Please feel better soon. If you need me, I am here just like a store that stays open 24/7!

You are such a warm hearted, beautiful person. With so many of us thinking you are the greatest thing to happen to this world since the wheel was invented, shucks you are just wonderful, wouldn't trade you for the wheel!

Love,
Willie:)

[christa]

Jen: I am so sorry what you're going through. Did you know that depression is considered a disease? It can completely destroy your life if you don't get a hold of it. Your depression mixed with the losses of your friends, imo, is dangerous for you. I am glad to hear that you are talking to a professional. I know you don't think it will help, but believe me, it will!

Depression runs in our family. I know what it can do to a person if it isn't recognized and isn't treated. You have to come to terms with the fact that you can't solve everyone's problems. You have to take care of yourself.

Just please be very open to this professional help that you are seeking! It's the best thing to talk about it.

{{{Hugs}}}

[kimlovescats]

Oh Jen, I am just now seeing this thread!!!! Oh gosh, do I know about depression! I will e-mail you!

((((HUGS))))
Kim;)

[sirrahbed]

(((((*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*)))

[jazzcat]

Jen, I just want you to know that I think you are a wonderful person. You've done so much to help so many cats and other people. I have so much respect for you and I hate to see you hurting like this. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm here anytime you need me.
Lori

[Lilith Cherry]

Please remember that we all consider you to be a warm and wonderful person aand I am sending a million cosy hugs to be used as needed. Depression is so hard to deal with , but please let us help in any way we can. We all care about you very much!

Love and Hugs from Lilith

[Jods]

Jen,
I'm sorry to hear your having a hard time right now. I don't know you really well, but if you ever wanna chat email or PM me I will be there for you. You have so many friends here just look at the responses to your post everyone here is judt dying to help you so if you need it you know where to come...
***HUGS***

[Barbara]

Jen, depression is a disease and I hope the doc and the counsellor can help you (I am convinced they can!)

Like any person in the world you have the right to be loved unconditionally just because you are you.

Look at what you have: Charlie, wonderful cat friends, your little house- that all is very good plus here are all your PT friends:) That is a lot and you have it becauase you are you! And don't dare to think you are unworthy!

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

[QueenScoopalot]

(((HUGS))) coming from Mass. Jen. I too get depressed many times, and all I have to do is look around at all the innocent faces saved from the streets, and I usually feel better. I agree with purr therapy! Take a nice hot bubble bath, and a nap (make sure to insert purring kitties into bed)...and things will get better. ;)

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies%20922_big_hugs.gif for you, Jen!!

(I sent you a pm)

[Edwina's Secretary]

Jen...my thoughts are with you. You may be surprised to find how much better you will feel ....and how much better you will be able to bounce back from the blows of life ...when you have the right chemicals in your body.

[carole]

Jen sweetie you have my empathy, I have been through betrayal myself lately of a different kind to your's but nonetheless it hurt so bad, and I am still trying to deal with it daily.

I don't know why this person did what they did to you, but please donot feel it is all your fault, infact it is probably not your fault at all, I know nothing I can say will ease your depression , but just remember Jen it is their loss.

Just try to occupie your mind with other things, if you can, because the worst thing ever is to constantly have it on your mind, any troubles become so much worse, and I have seen someone have a breakdown due to the fact they never thought of anything else.

Come on by and lean on your friends here at PT, and you have many of those Jen, who love and care for you, and will listen and offer support anytime of the night or day, when ever you feel those bad moments coming on, please talk to us, and pm me anytime you wish.

Most of us have experienced similar things and so each and every one of us can relate and can tell you how we dealt with it.

I am really sorry to hear you are so miserable right now, and I know its the worst feeling in the world, trust me Jen it will get better and you will get over this, you must know what a great person you are, don't let one persons odd behaviour tell you any different.

LOVE AND HUGS to you Jen.:)
P.S Jen i just wanted to add, I know all the kind words in the world don't seem to make a difference right now, but you know they actually do help in the end, speaking here from experience, I personally felt so much better after talking with everyone here on PT, they just made me see things clearer and gave me the energy I needed to deal with my troubles.

I know your depression is part of the problem, but it is what has happened that has sent you into the depths of despair, so if we can help with that in any way, it will hopefully help your feel a little better within yourself HUGS again dear lady.

P.SS Jen that person is NOT worthy of your friendship, turn to those who are and feel the unconditonal love they have to offer you.:)

[persianmom]

Jen

I'm so sorry that your friend is treating this way. Please go into councelling. I was married for 26 years and he told me how unloveable I was How I was no good at anything and in general just put me down for everything. I went into counceling after we diivorce. After many appointment I can say I'm a person who deserve to be loved and treat with recpect. You are to. Please I speak both from a personal and medical view point. Seek help. You are a worth while person. Remeber God does not make Junk. You are in my prays.

Love ya Persianmom (Carol)

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs coming your way

[jazzzytina]

Jen, I agree with so many others here. I've had depression for many years and have been on medication for it for a LONG time. It really works.

And, like you, I have had a friend in the last year, who was a friend since 1st grade, just decide (over the election, mind you) that she wants nothing more to do with me b/c she believes she's a "better Christian" than I am. And that was really hard. It's only been recently that I've been able to move past it.

Lots of people here at PT love you. One person's opinion of you can't outweigh the hundreds of opinions here who think you are just great!

Sending love and prayers your way,
Tina

[Karen]

Lots of hugs and an absorbant shoulder (good for crying on) are all being sent you from us!

[kt_luvs_kitties]

That you are feeling this way. It doesnt prove you unworthy, it proves your friend unworthy of having just a lil compassion. *HUGE HUGS* here also. Dont be down on yourself. I hope you feel better soon, and get the strength you need to get over all this. You do alot for cats and its MORE than most do. That shows you have a HUGE HEART with alot to offer. :D

[Fox-Gal]

Oh I am so so sorry that someone who you concidered a friend did this to you. I totaly understand how you are feeling and it hurts as well as make you angry sometimes.

There are some people in the world who don't know what a true friendship is or how to be a true friend and good people like you are the ones that suffer from their short comings/faults.

For over a month now, I have been angry, depressed and hurt over what a friend did to us. Someone who said they thought of us like family. Someone we put a roof over their head, food in their belly, etc etc, for months when they where going through a hard time. Then when things didn't go their way, they turned on us and more or less said we meant nothing to them. It hurts and it makes you feel used in a way.

Now when we run into him, he doesn't even look at as and has the nerve to say we where wrong. He's the one that used his fist to try to open our door, told us to have nice F%#%ing life and we are in the wrong?? :confused: :rolleyes: Why because we put a roof over his head!!! And all we asked for was a "I'm sorry"

Anyway, this is not helping you any, I guess, It justs my own anger is coming through, thinking about it again. I guess what I'm trying to say or show, is that a lot of us have been fooled by so called friends. But try not to get to depressed about the whole thing. I know it's hard, I'm working on that too.

I tell myself that I got along fine before this person came into my life and I'll get along fine without them again. In the long run, it's their lose, more then mine. They lost a good friend that would be there for them when they needed and if they are to foolish to realize that, Oh well, do we really want a person like that in our life?

Find someone to talk to, do what ever you need to do to feel better, If you need someone to rant to, feel free to Pm me. I'll be gald to listen and rant back if need be. :D Just don't let this event get the best of you. your to good for someone to hurt you, You know it, we here know it and anyone who truly knows you knows it too and the H$%$ with those that are to foolish to know it.


{{{{ HUGS from me}}}}
{{{ And Hugs from the Kittys too}}}}

[aki]

Hi Jen. ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) I too suffer from depression and am taking medication to help battle it. Trust me, it will help. Hang in there hunny, because you know that you have many close friends on here and we all care about you very much.
Autumn

[jenluckenbach]

OMG! I am over whelmed! A million thank yous would not be enough to cover all your kindness.
I have been at work today, and I just barely managed through the day. I felt like a zombie and I caught myself crying every time I though no one was near. On the way home and after, I cried for hours and hours until I was sick. And the strangest part of all, is that I cried mostly because I did NOT WANT the friendship to end. If I could have my way, I would get an explaination and we would work through it. I WANT her back! But I fear if I cannot get an explaination than I will not be able to forgive or forget. I LOVED this person and I truly thought the feeling was mutual. This is why the pain is so intense. If it were someone I could wipe out of my mind, I would not even be having this problem.

I will be rereading and answering posts, PM's and e-mails for weeks as the responce was so great. You guys sure do know how to make a person feel loved.

THANK YOU

[slick]

Jen...I've just gone through something very similar. No matter what happens we do love you and when you hurt, we hurt with you. Just relax now, hug Charlie and all your furbabies and know that the support you get here is endless.

still more {{{HUGS}}}
slick
xo

[Corinna]

{{{hugs}}}}]((((headbumpies))))) <<<<<sloppery dog kisses>>>>>

[gini]

I have sent you a p/m, Jen - but this is my very public HUG just for you!

[rg_girlca]

Jen, I have been sick with the stomach flu these past few days and really do not feel up to posting just yet, but when I read your heartfelt thread that brought me to tears, I just had to respond to yours.
These are a few things that I have picked up along the way when I am feeling down and have lost all hope that somewhat helped me get through my times of depression and I hope and pray that just a part of it helps you also.
Jen, try to focus on the positive things in your life and above all, DON'T listen to the negative voices in your head and you'll be happier.
Do not let your heart be heavy, no one on earth is perfect.
Life is full of setbacks, everything happens for a reason and often our failures can lead us to success.
The key to happiness is not fixing your problems, but changing your attitude towards your problems.
Sometimes you can't choose how you feel, but you can choose what to do about it.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend may seem, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and how you deal with the hurt , whether you can forgive them or not, makes a diference.
Also, your life can be changed in a matter of hours, by people who don't even know you.
I don't know you personally Jen, only through Pet Talk. Through the years of reading your threads and posts, I have gotten to know a very kind, caring, loving, selfless and gentle soul, who is loved by so many people. It hurt me so much when I read that you hate yourself. Find something Jen to love in yourself. Others already have.
Also sending a much needed (((((HUG))))) your way.

Another thing Jen.....WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

[catcrazylady]

Jen, I'm so glad you responded again. I have been worried all day about you! You sounded so desperate and lost in your first post. I think if there had been anyway that we could have all gotten to you today you probably would have broken ribs by now from all the hugs!
What I'm gathering from your second post is that your not even sure why this person is so angry with you. No explanation and she won't even talk to you? I don't think you are the one with the problem Jen. It really sounds like this other person has some serious issues that she needs to work through. You valued this friendship and she won't even give you the benefit of explaining her feelings or try to talk things out with you?
I know your feelings are deeply hurt but please remember that you very loved by many! I hope this passes soon and I really hope that this person will at least have the dignity to call or respond to your emails so that you can either begin to heal this friendship or have some closure with an explanation.
We are all here and unfortunately many of us know exactly what you are experiencing. I don't think anyone could have said it better than Lorraine did.

We LOVE you and care very much for you! Please keep us posted on how you are doing and always remember that you are a very special lady.:)

[jenluckenbach]

Thank you all. I am honored and priveledged to have you as my friends. I am in utter disbelief of the absolutely overwhelming responce I have gotten. With all who posted, PM'd and e-mailed me with love and support I can't help but to feel at least somewhat better. Add to that a personal councelling session with our own catnapper and.......D-A-M-N I feel good!
The hurt will go away, but the depression will not. So I am hoping that my future councelling sessions will help me, at least, control the feelings of self-worthnessless that comes along with the times of sad feelings.
I'd like to publically thank you one and all because the personal responces may take a while. You guys are unbelievable!

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Jen, I'm SO glad you're feeling better. I hope you know that we will always be there for you, but I'm so glad that Kim is actually there for you. Nothing does it like a real good old fashioned hug. :)

I think Lisa (CCL) is right in that it sounds to me like the other person is the one with the problem. Unfortunately in our hurt, sometimes it's hard to see that until we've worked through it some. I hope and pray that if you want her back as a friend that she works through whatever her problem is and you can both forgive and forget.

If, however, she does not come through, it sounds to me like you are better off without her in your life and you can move on and find other friends that actually really do love and care for you.

{{{hugs}}} to you. Again, I'm SO glad you're feeling better and I wish you the best of luck with your anti-depression treatment and counciling sessions.:)

However, DO NOT be afraid to come to us again. Even though we can't physically be there for you, we will do what we can through cyber space.

[lbaker]

Hey Jen.. Badger, Jenny & I aren't so very far away. You want some company any time soon? Maybe an afternoon walking around the little CollegeTown where we met? There was a lovely little church where they didn't even mind Badger walking through with us to see the stained glass windows and listen to the music! I guess it would have to be after the last NASCAR race though, wouldn't want to mess that up :rolleyes: (say hi to Charlie from us).

[AmberLee]

I'm late getting to this thread, sorry.

{{{Hugs}}} from Amber
{{{Purrs}}} from Cassy
{{{Headbumpies}}} from Livvy*

* And the Livstress headbumpies HARD

Jen, you are a delight and a wonder. I have some friends that retreat and/or lash out when they are in pain and I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that this is THEM not ME. It really sounds like your friend is like this, too. Like many of the others have said, this will be easier for you when your chemicals are regulated. Hang in there. You are loved. Even if you don't count Charlie ;) and a bazillion fur-kids and fosters :p how the heck can you ignore the manifold demonstration of us "Crazy Cat Wimun"? :D :cool: I also second the recommendation for a walk followed by a hot bath. Both help me lots when I'm in the mental state you are describing. Hang in there, dear.

"How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle? How deeply you're connected to our souls..."

[smokey the elder]

{{hugz}} We all love you and what you do for the kitties.

[Tonya]

Jen, I am sorry for what you are going through. I have problems with depression also. I think I've finally found the right medication for myself (fingers crossed). I hope that you get well soon. We all love you. Lots of hugs from me!

[jenluckenbach]

A miracle, no matter how small, is still a miracle after all.

Well, I have been the recipient of one of those small miracles. This Sunday's adoption day was cancelled. A highly improbable event. So Charlie and I took advantage of going to our church's late service (vs. our usual 8am service) And who was there to greet us? A troupe of actors from our local state hospital. They performed a play about mental illness (most significantly depression). It went through all the symptoms (MY symptoms, the ones I related to all so well that I cried through the entire thing). And went on to explain the process of help and support and the return to normalcy.

Had our adoption day event gone on as planned I would never have seen this production or felt the connection.


SIGH! It is hard to fathom, isn't it?

[RedHedd]

Jen, not a coincidence. Your higher power wanted you to be in church to see that presentation. God does work in mysterious ways.

[rg_girlca]

Originally posted by RedHedd
Jen, not a coincidence. Your higher power wanted you to be in church to see that presentation. God does work in mysterious ways.


AMEN to that RedHedd.


Jen, today is a new and better beginning.:)

[catmandu]

Jen,just look at all the Cast Lives,that you have saved,and all The Foster Cats,and Your Cats,and last,but not least Charles,and all The Pet Talkers,who appreciate,and love you,so very ,very much.The Found Cats,and I send extra Hugs,and Kitty Kissies.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Jen, I am glad that you are starting to feel not quite so "down". As someone who is on medication for depression I can sympathize with your emotions and thoughts. Remember that you are well loved by your husband, furkids, and everyone here. There was a specific reason the adoption day was cancelled, so please remember someone else loves you and wants to help you.

Going to see a counsellor will help work out this experience, but they will also provide you with the ability to deal with future situations.

{{{{HUGS}}}

[sirrahbed]

(((((*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*)))

[krazyaboutkatz]

Jen, Although I'm coming to this thread a little late, I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling better.:) I hope that you'll be able to get the right kind of medication that you need and also the right kind of counseling. Please hang in there. I think you're a wondeful person. Take care.{{{{HUGS}}}:)

[carole]

Jen sweetheart as you know there will be no quick fix, and you will have your bad and good moments, just want you to know we all understand and are here for both of those moments that you wish to share with us.

I am so happy to hear you sounding more positive, but sad to hear how unhappy this has made you, it is the old vicious cycle, when things or events come into our lives that make us feel as you are now, the old depression hits bigtime.

Hopefully Jen with all the love and support from hubby Charlie and the kitties and your close friends here on PT, we can help pull you through this black moment in your life.

Just take one day at a time Jen, and although I know your heart is heavy right now, with loosing someone you considered a very special person and who you loved, time is a great healer.

One never knows why these things befall us in life, and right now I am sure you are bewildered, but maybe in time things will seem clearer, they always say there is a reason for everything, but truthfully I cannot always see it myself and wonder why you, a very caring and loving person, should have to endure such emotional pain.

HUGS Jen and always here for you ok.:)

[jenluckenbach]

This thing really IS an emotional roller coaster, isn't it?

All I want is to be able to get through life without thinking that I ruin everything I touch.


For my own sake, I took the initiative and decided to cut ties with this person. I wish I did not have to do this, but I was told that I tell lies and that I am not rational.

This is the hardest thing I ever had to do, and it is not helping me get out of the deep dark place that I am in. But when my mind finally moves forward from this incident, maybe I can be happy again. Maybe I can look back at the friendship and realize that it was only meant to last a short time. Maybe I am needed someplace else.

Your words will always be a place that I can come back for to get support and warm feelings.

Thanks.

[Karen]

Know that we love you, okay?
To give yourself a grin, remember you and I realizing that *must* have been Ashley and dad and friend who passed us, then you and I running and shouting "Ashley!!!" probably confusing half the people around us. We didn't care then if people thought we were strange, it was worth it. Then think of that goofy yarn cow ...

Consider yourself hugged again.

[kuhio98]

Jen:

WARM HUGS FROM ALASKA

I'm so sorry that you're in such pain right now. It will pass once you get some time to heal. The end of a friendship is much like a death. It must be grieved. Please be kind to yourself and your loved ones while you're going through this.

I don't believe in coincidences either. You were meant to be at the services this morning. Perhaps you were meant to experience this loss also. Who knows what lessons you will learn from this experience?

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

[AmberLee]

How could anyone ever tell you

You were anything less than beautiful.

How could anyone ever tell you

You were less than whole.

How could anyone fail to notice

That your loving is a miracle.

How deeply you're connected to my soul.

[slick]

Jen,
It took me about two weeks after my "incident" to feel better but I think that's because I tried to deal with it on my own first. The "so-called" friend in my case I think wanted to stay just casual friends (as opposed to friends you actually socialize with) but I made the same decision as you. I decided that the friendship was over and done with. The worst part for me is that I have to see this person everyday at work. We remain civil and smile at each other, make casual conversation, but I'll never let her into my life again. Yes, it hurts, but if I'm going to move on, it's the only option.

but I was told that I tell lies and that I am not rational.
Did this so-called friend say this to you? Talk about a stab in the heart!!! How on earth could this be true?? My response to this? Consider the source.

More {{{BIG HUGS}}} coming your way. If I lived in your town, I'd be honoured to have you as a close friend.

luv
slick
xo

[lisalee]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Life does get tough sometimes. Just hug all your precious furbabies and I'm sure you will feel much better!:) Please take care of yourself.

[Logan]

Jen Luckenbach, you are friend to so many, both human and furry. I hate that any person could make you feel less that totally worthwhile!!!

Take care of you, first, and know that your friends are here for you. I am very grateful that you have received the warm feelings that you so much deserve from your Pet Talk friends.

Anything you need, I am here to try and help.

Logan

[AmberLee]

Jen, I 'swiped' this post from another board; one for weight loss. It hit me between the eyes, and I thought it might be good for you, too. It was titled "I took my best friend out to lunch". {{{hugs}}} and hope this helps you, too.


Very often, I don't consider myself my best friend. I beat up on me, because I fail, because I don't loose what I think I should loose, I ridcule myself because I didn't exercise this week, because I didn't follow up on my diabetic plan. I poke myself because I lost my temper, basically I don't treat me as I would a best friend. Well, it dawned on me, an "ah ha" moment. That in order to make any of this healthy living stuff work, you have to have a little bit, if not more of a love of self.

So after, errands, I took my best friend out to lunch. Two meals for one price --- actually -- one meal, one price. I just sat there and enjoyed my Mexican meal with me. It was the best 45 minutes of a very long week. I like eating alone. I guess that comes from doing it so much in the restaruant business. Now don't ask me to go to a movie, but eating I can do.

Take your best friend for coffee, lunch, a coke this week. Learn to love you for you, no matter what you've done, not done, should have done. Love you up, as you would a best friend. I am thinking that once that real relationship is established, you won't do anything to hurt her/him and you'll give that person better treatment...yourself. I am thinking that's how it is going to work for me anyway.

Just a thought
Cathy

[NoahsMommy]

Jen,

I'm sorry to come late to this thread, but its good to see you feeling better. :)

Don't let anyone make you feel you aren't the best Jen you can be. I'm sorry you are not always able to see what others see in you. I guess that's what we're here for, to remind you why we all love you.

For next time, when you're feeling a bit down, this is why I personally like you:
*You love cats and always put their needs before your own

*You are a good friend. I can see through your relationship with Jenny and Kim, you are indeed a good friend.

*You are kind and willing to offer support when needed. Remember all you did for Naomi's Bassett?

*You are forgiving. When you and I had a bit of a disagreement, you forgave my unkind words. It takes a bigger person to do that. :o

We love you. That "friend" didn't deserve you and sure as heck wont ever deserve all those tears.

I know God wanted you to know He's here for you and feels your current pain. That performance showed that.

Jen, you're loved. :) Hugs from my kitties and I.

[manda_moo87]

Sending LOTS of hugs! :)

((((HUGS)))) ((((HUGS)))) ((((HUGS))))

[mina'smomma]

Jen,

I'm sooo sorry you're going through all this horrible times. Your so-called friend doesn't sound like one at all. I send you HUGE HUGS, KISSES AND SCRITCHIES, from my family to yours.


Mina says to tell you that she sent the scritchies and to include head bumps for you. She wants to cheer you up. You're doing the right thing though by seeking help for depression and not just trying to deal with it. My psychiatrist prescribed Mina for me, and she has been a wonderful addition to our family. (tomarrow we find out if there is going to be another one of the human species.)

CHIN UP LUV AND WE ALL WILL KEEP YOU IN OUR PRAYERS AND GIVE YOU ALL THE HUGS YOU NEED. WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS HERE.;)

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by slick
Did this so-called friend say this to you? Talk about a stab in the heart!!! How on earth could this be true?? My response to this? Consider the source.


I know it's hard right now, but this "consider the source" is so true. Some people make themselves feel better by putting other people down, and usually the part of other people they pick on is the part of themselves that they don't like. Obviously I don't know you that well, but lieing and being irrational are two of the very last traits in the world that I would associate with Jen Luckenbach!

And this part might be hard too if you're going through depression and self loathing, but there comes a time when you have to say to yourself that no matter what somebody says to you, or names they might call you, that YOU KNOW BETTER! YOU know who you are and the kind of person you are and you KNOW what they are saying is not true, so you need to stand up for yourself and say to yourself "I don't care what they say because I AM A GOOD PERSON! People all over the world love me and care about me and I do good things in this world, so who cares what "she" thinks. SHE has it wrong and I don't need people like her in my life, bringing me down."

Sorry, but I just couldn't believe somebody would say this about you Jen. Especially someone who supposedly is/was a good friend. :(

[Lilith Cherry]

I agree with Debbie! We KNOW you are a good person and you have to keep telling yourself this over and over .. Shut her and her negativity out of mind as much as you can and concentrate on feeling good about yourself.. Lots more love and hugs,

Lilith

[DJFyrewolf36]

Sorry I just got to this thread *Weekends are such a pain sometimes lol*

You seem like a wonderful, caring person! Even though I haven't had the pleasure of actualy meeting you I can tell from your posts and the great number of responses here. You are a person I would really like to meet some day.

As for your "friend" real friends don't do that to you. My ex pulled that kind of garbage on me and it messed me up. I went through counsiling and therapy too. Don't worry, things DO get better. God is there for you and all of us on PT are there too.

Remember, You are YOU and you are OK! :D

*HUGS* and *Headbumpies* from me and the gang

[sasvermont]

Jen, you are such a wonderful and kind person. Some times things do not work out they way we had planned .... and it is upsetting at best!

I am glad you are going to try to work it out with Dr.s etc. I highly recommend medications.....they have saved many a soul, including me! Depression is often a chemical thing....exercise is also very, very good for offsetting depression.......

Please keep us posted.

You have so many friends here......and you will always meet more here too!

You are loved by so many people here....and you CATS love you too.......that is for sure.....and your husband.... ooopppss, almost forgot him.....

So, chin up honey. Go for a nice long walk.......some place pretty....and think about how fortunate you are in so many ways........

Sas

[jenluckenbach]

[[[HUGS]]]

to you all :)

[K & L]

Hope you're feeling better Jen!!

[carole]

How are you doing today Jen? Thinking of you and wishing you a brighter day today. Take care and giant HUGS.:)

[sirrahbed]

changing colors daily for variety:)
(((((*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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[wolflady]

Gosh, sorry I'm late to this thread! First, I have to offer up some **HUGS**HUGS**HUGS**HUGS**
I'm not sure what happened with your "friend", but it's so unfortunate that it did. I experienced the same thing with my "best friend" in college and it really does leave an empty space in your heart where that person used to be. Obviously this person didn't regard friendship like you do, and that's their loss. You are too nice of a person, too caring of a person to deserve something like this. I agree with what everyone else here has said.
I know that when I went through the loss of my would-be friend, people told me that sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most.
I thought this was true, but in her case, she just didn't hold friendship in high esteem like I do. I know that when I make a connection...a friendship...it's unconditional. I'll be your friend forever...mistakes or not, during happy times, sad times...I like to consider myself a good friend to those people. I usually like to think that others think the same way of friendship that I do, but apparently they don't. One small, stupid miscommunication made my so-called friend dump our friendship just like that. Nice, huh? :eek:
Even years after, I feel a bit bitter towards this person because we had such good times in college. She was my best friend, and when she dumped our friendship so easily, I was stunned. I had no idea what to do and I couldn't even fathom why it was so easy for her to just drop it. Especially over something do dumb! :mad: I felt so empty, because I spent so much time with her, that I had no idea what to do with my time! I saw her in band and was hurt that she just completely ignored me and picked out a new friend. :(
I'm angry at what this person has done to you, because they clearly don't deserve your friendship, Jen. I know that's easy for me to say, but it's true. They have no idea what they have lost....and personally...you're better off without them. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better and that you've severed the ties, so to speak.
Please know that you have all of us here at PT! We love you Jen! :D :D :D
**hugs**
Karen

[PayItForward]

It would be interesting to hear the other person's side of the story though before comdeming their actions maybe Lisa is suffering from some problems at the moment.

Jen told me about her problems with her PA friend on my forum too.

[carole]

Even though there are always two sides to every story,and maybe this other person is having problems, but to take the stance they have with Jen seems a little harsh doesn"t it?

All I know is we have a very valuable kind and caring member from PT who needs our love and support right now, and for me that is all that is important, she has my support 100 per cent.

[slick]

Originally posted by carole
All I know is we have a very valuable kind and caring member from PT who needs our love and support right now, and for me that is all that is important, she has my support 100 per cent.
Well said Carole. Jen, you know that I stand behind you too, but more importantly I would love to stand in front of you and give you the biggest hug ever. Every day will get a bit easier although it probably doesn't seem like that right now. I sure hope you can check in later and let us know how you are doing.

luv
slick
xo

[jenluckenbach]

Jenny is right, there are always 2 sides to every story. But I do not really know the other side, all I know is the pain. Hopefully I did not do something so terrible and so unknowingly, to hurt another person as badly as I myself am hurting right now.

But your support is wonderful and has helped me tremendously.

Thank you {{{{HUGS}}}}

[catnapper]

Jen, you are a good person and a loving friend. Lisa is missing out on that - its her loss, not yours.

[carole]

Jen I think it is going to be hard to find closure in this situation, because you told us even you donot know the other side of the story, and that is probably partly why you are feeling this hurt so much, maybe in time Lisa will let you know, maybe not, whatever happens we don't need to know her side, because it is YOU Jen that we know and care about, and YOU Jen that we want to offer support and positive thoughts.

None of us know Lisa, but we have all gotten to know you Jen, and the loving person you are, hold your head up high Jen, you are a great person, with an abundance of love to share, keep thinking good thoughts about yourself and try to cheer up ok.:)

More Hugs coming your way today and everyday.:)

[slick]

Just checking to see how you are doing Jen. You are still in my thoughts and prayers.

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by carole
None of us know Lisa, but we have all gotten to know you Jen,

I feel this way exactly. Sure there are two sides, but our concern is Jen and how she feels. We are not here to mediate but to support our friend. She says she does not even know what she did to deserve the hurt - and this is not right. So, whatever the "other side" is - it is not our concern; *Jen* is.
So........for Wednesday....bright red hugs:
(((((*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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[lynnestankard]

Oh Jen., I'm so sorry I've missed this {{{{{HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS.}}}}}} to a very dear Friend who's hurting.
All my love sweetheart and hope this dark time goes very quickly.
I do hope you see a counsellor and maybe your doctor - when your on the right medication - it helps so much. Please don't think your being weak - 'cos your not - depression is an illness - and it needs the correct treatment.
All your love and caring shine from everything you post - I've always thought of you as a wise, loving and caring lady. xxx

Lynne

[jenluckenbach]

I started feeling so much better today. There was no real reason for it, but it felt good.

I saw my new counsellor for the first time today. I like her. We are going to attempt to work on HOW I can stop blaming myself for everything that happens around me. HOW I can stop thinking I need to be perfect in all things. And HOW to stop dwelling and dwelling on only the negative.

Do you think it will work? I have been like this for a very long time.

I have printed out all you words and hugs and love so whan the next "down" comes, I have you all to lift me up again.

[trayi52]

Jen, anytime you need us, we are here for you. We love you!

Willie:)

[momoffuzzyfaces]

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGH HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS


My best friend since Jr. High dropped me like a hot potato several years ago, for no reason I know of. You just have to let them go. I just keep thinking how much I DO have in my life. Like all of you at PT! Hang in there, sweetie!

[wolflady]

Jen, I'm so happy that you're feeling better today! :D
HUGS!!

You asked if you think it will work, and my response is an enthusiastic YES!
The fact that you are seeking the help of a counselor, if a HUGE step on the road to recovering from depression. I know. I've been there. It's a dark and ugly road sometimes, but when you find the right person (and meds) to help you...it's amazing how...normal...you can feel.

What is it with people named Lisa dropping friendships so easily? The friend I wrote about in my previous post...was a Lisa too! :eek:
Oh well, their loss, right?!

http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/cathappy.gif

**hugs**
Karen

[gini]

Jen, I heard once something that stuck with me.

Oprah said it - Ann Landers said it - Dear Abbey - I honestly don't remember.

But it was this......................

Ruminating about someone over a period of time is just giving them FREE RENT in your head!

More hugs being sent to you today as well.

[slick]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
I have printed out all you words and hugs and love so whan the next "down" comes, I have you all to lift me up again.
You know it's funny, but at work I have one wall that's dedicated to animal pictures. I call it my Wall of Fame and right beside it I've posted some pics of the July BBQ attendees. When work gets really stressful I close my door and look at the pics and remember the good time I had and all the Pet Talkers who care about me. It works for me and I pray that the words we have said here will carry you through all your "down" times.

more {{{HUGS}}} on the way.

luv
slick
xo

[rg_girlca]

That was so good to read that you are feeling much better today.
You are worthy Jen. You owe it to yourself to be happy.

Quoted by Jen:
Do you think it will work? I have been like this for a very long time.

Think positive thoughts, Jen and it will work and it also makes it easier when you like your counsellor.

Like I had said before, don't listen to the negative thoughts in your head, focus on the positive things in your life. Your love for Charlie and his love for you. The love you have for your furbabies and the unconditional love they have for you.
The love and support from your PT friends.

We all know you are such a kind, caring, loving person Jen.
No one is perfect. The sooner you ease up on yourself, the sooner it will get easier for you.

Big time (((((HUGS))))) still on the way for you.

Are you getting sore yet from all HUGS.:D because we aren't going to stop.:)

[kimlovescats]

Jen, you have made a huge step today .... you have found someone who can help you help yourself! You realize you need help, and you are willing to receive it! You are on your way, girl ... and we are all right here beside you!!!

((((HUGS))))
Kim:)

[lynnestankard]

Jen I'm so pleased you're seeing a counsellor - and will it work - YES. YES. YES!!
You must be painfully honest with yourself - it'll hurt and you'll cry - and come out the other side feeling 'whole'.
And look what I've just found.....................[[[[[[[[[[HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS.]]]]]]]]]]
Your in my thoughts sweetheart
Love Lynne xx

[sirrahbed]

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[mina'smomma]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
This thing really IS an emotional roller coaster, isn't it?

All I want is to be able to get through life without thinking that I ruin everything I touch.


Thanks.

Jen,

I've been in your shoes hun and have felt the same way before. I'm here to tell you now you DON'T ruin everything you touch. You've been wonderful not only to me, but all of us to come to this forum. You have friends here, and know that you are still in my prayers. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here as well as everyone else.

Mina says to send you sandpaper kisses from her.

[jenluckenbach]

Originally posted by sirrahbed

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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Debbie, you are too much :D:D:D:D:D

[Vermontcat]

I hope I'm not too late...
*Huggity Hug Hug Hug* :D
Sorry I haven't posted here until now, just add me to the hug list.;)

I bet posting some Biddy pictures would make you feel better, it would make me feel better. :)

[carole]

Way to go Jen, keep those positive thoughts going, you are on your'e road to recovery, just keep taking one day at a time, and remember some days will be better than others, You are in my thoughts and we here in NZ send you heaps of hugs and well wishes. HUGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSS...................:)

[NoahsMommy]

Jen,

I've been thinking about you today. I'm glad to see the therapy is going well so far. :) When you find the right person for you, it really is excellent.

I love your idea to print out the nice comments. :)

Have a nice rest of the day.

Love, Kelly :)

[slick]

Still thinking about you Jen and hoping that each day brings more joy into your heart.

luv
slick
xo

[jenluckenbach]

Thanks everyone. Just so you know, I AM still reading all the posts. They mean a whole lot.

Since my councelling sessions are going to be once every other week, and the first session was just a chance for her to find out about me, I can't really say if it is helping yet or not.

I have been feeling better (no crying, etc.) but darn it, I simply cannot stop wondering (this is one of my biggest problems). I want to move past the hurt, but without knowing WHY it takes a very long time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[catcrazylady]

Jen there is nothing worse than not knowing why! I too am one of the "I just have to know" people. How can you help fix a problem when you don't even know what the problem is?! It would be driving me crazy too.
I can relate this to my relationship with my mother because everytime I open my mouth I get into trouble. I'm 42 years old and still trying to figure it all out. I know in my heart that there are just some people whom you can not please and that just want drama all the time. If there is none they will create it out of something innocent. The reason I'm sharing this is because I want you to realize that your friend may be the same way. My mother makes friends right and left but she can't keep them because she does this kind of stuff. It's not that the other person really did anything bad but she has the need to create something or blow it way out of proportion just for the sake of excitement.
If you had done something that most of us would think was bad enough to never speak to you again then you would have to know what it was. I think you getting counseling for your depression and how you deal with things like this is a great idea but please remember that this person also has some problems and you can't fix her. It's one of the hardest things to except in life, I think, when you can't fix something.
You keep taking care of yourself and let the rest of this just work itself out. Don't forget that this involves someone else and you can not possibly be the only one to blame. The way she has handled this says she has some serious issues too.
We love ya Jen! Hang tough and keep on being you!:)

[sirrahbed]

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[kuhio98]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
...I saw my new counsellor for the first time today. I like her. We are going to attempt to work on HOW I can stop blaming myself for everything that happens around me. HOW I can stop thinking I need to be perfect in all things. And HOW to stop dwelling and dwelling on only the negative.


Jen: Boy does this sound familiar. I lived like that for many years. What finally made a difference for me is the realization that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. We all have different definitions of what "perfection" looks like. There is NO way to achieve it -- it shouldn't even be a goal. Life itself, is not about perfection. Life evolved (if you believe in evolution) from a series of fortunate accidents and coincidences. Our lives are like that too. From every so-called "negative" experience, we learn something positive.

The other thing that helped me was learning to GET OVER MYSELF. How stuck-up was I to think that I was so powerful that the world revolved around me? Just my mear presence effected change in others?? I was so instrumental in other's lives that I was ultimately responsible for every thought, feeling or action they took ???? :eek: It came as quite a shock to me to learn that I wasn't responsible for other's actions -- I didn't have that kind of power so why should I feel like their actions had anything to do with me?

I learned that people's actions have nothing to do with me. It's all about them. So, why should I feel responsible for them? Lisa made the decision based upon what's going on in her life -- not yours. It would be great if she could give you an explanation. But, really what could she say that would be helpful? Let her work out her issues and you work out yours. Someday, you may be able to be friends again or at least make peace with each other.

There is a saying I heard once -- not sure if this is right -- but something about people come into your life for a season, a reason or a ??? (Can't remember the rest). Maybe Lisa was in your life for a purpose. Her actions (as hurtful as they may appear) have started you on a voyage of discovery about yourself and your life.

Sending you many hugs as you begin this process. Be kind and patient with yourself. You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! :p You know how picky they are. :D

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by kuhio98
You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! :p You know how picky they are. :D

:D I LOVE it!!!

oh - the essay is by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker and is called "A Reason A Season and A Lifetime"

[kimlovescats]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
Thanks everyone. Just so you know, I AM still reading all the posts. They mean a whole lot.

Since my councelling sessions are going to be once every other week, and the first session was just a chance for her to find out about me, I can't really say if it is helping yet or not.

I have been feeling better (no crying, etc.) but darn it, I simply cannot stop wondering (this is one of my biggest problems). I want to move past the hurt, but without knowing WHY it takes a very long time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Hey, Jen ... would a new siggy help? If so, e-mail me some pics!

Love ya,
Kim;)

[rg_girlca]

Jen, I was sitting reading my Woman's World and came across these inspirations and immediately thought about you.
I would like to share them
with you.

A MOMENT FOR YOU.

Release yourself from the need to be perfect. Love doesn't demand perfection. Success doesn't require it. Luck doesn't look for it. Special moments don't need it. Happiness unfolds without it. And whenever you worry that a gathering won't be special if it's not perfect, remember that any occasion is special if YOU ARE a part of it. YOU bring your best to everything you do and every life you touch. That's better than perfect. That's real.

You have the stuff true heroes are made of. Me? you're probably thinking. Not me! But yes, YOU! Because true heroes don't always save lives, they touch them and inspire them. So what makes you qualify? You face challenges, You're no quitter. You do the right thing, even though it's often easier not to. You lend your strength to those who have none, You approcach life with hope. And you'd do absolutely anthing for a friend, and in a crisis, you'd count a stranger as a friend, too.
THANK GOODNESS FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

Hang in there Jen, I know you can do it.
Love and (((((HUGS))))

[catfamily]

You are to good of a person to let anyone depress you like this.I use to let people depress me but people are people and we need to love ourselves more than anyone else.I believe that is the ticket to happiness.So forget about your friend and concentrate on how good you are and things will be much better.I am here for you if you need me too.Take good care.Carla

[rg_girlca]

Another thing that I want to share with you that I received in an e-mail the other day.

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally,or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it!
It is real!
But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

(((((HUGS)))))

[carole]

Those were wonderful things to send Jen, I sure hope they helped you Jen, very inspirational thoughts, How are you today Jen? more hugs and positive thoughts are being sent your way.

I hope your heavy heart heals soon, and you will gradually begin to see clearer and understand how important you are to everyone here on PT, and that YOU really matter to us, Take care Jen.:)

[Randi]

Sorry I'm late Jen. I'm sending more hugs and hope you'll keep feeling better! :) Talking about your problems and how it hurts, will help a lot - at least that's my experience. Please don't be too hard on yourself - you're a fine person and very loved! :)

Positive vibes coming your way.

[catmandu]

Jen,I hope that we can convince you,on how much love,there is on Pet talk,for you,and when JJJ3,offers,to share his Whiska Temptations,if that isnt love,I dont know what love is! Your Friend Gary,and The Found Cats,Strays and Pet Angels!

[AmberLee]

Here I am with a spare Hug and thought perhaps you could use it.

Hope things are looking brighter in your neck of the woods.

[jenluckenbach]

I have been, shall I say......stable. No serious depression, but no real pleasurable days though, either. I can't understand why I am dwelling on this THING! GGRRRRR. it actually makes me mad to think how much this is affecting me.
I tried (as a first step to liking myself) to come up with a list of my good traits.......but I could only come up with 2 :( Guess it is time to read back over all your comments and take notes ;)

[AmberLee]

Let's see ...

Loving

Dependable

Thoughtful

Determined (I do believe if you thought a cat was being abused, you'd storm the abuser's home and not take NO for an answer...)

Funny

Sweet

Generous

Creative

Friendly

Honest

Okay, it's only ten, but that's just what I've known you to exhibit here online. Maybe some of the others can chime in, too.

[slick]

for starters...

Pretty

Caring

Lovable

A wealth of knowledge when it comes to caring for kitties

An excellent Meowmie and Foster Meowmie

Giving (of your time and love)

[gini]

And I think wise!

[catnapper]

Need I really post thesre traits!? You should know these:
Funny
Lively
Thoughtful
Caring
Generous
Loving
Giving
Open
Honest
True
Devoted


and most of all: you raised my baby boy!
I'll have to come up with more adjectives. I can come up with sentences of words, but I want to give you little ctach phrase words for you to easily remeber! :D

One thing you're not: Patient! LOL but you already knew that!!! :D

[rg_girlca]

I would like to also add:

A wonderful person.

Gentle soul

Responsible

Great sense of humor

Friendly

Kindhearted

Selfless

An honest and tender soul

(((((HUGS))))) Jen.

[BastetsMum]

Many hugs, and shoulder to cry on (my shoulders are very big) and kitty licks and purrs from Bastet.

Suffering as I do from bipolar - the most important lesson parted on me was - its ok to feel the way you do. Just don't beat yourself up over it because you will move on. This is just a hiccup on your journey.

You have much love in your life and many people care for your health and wellbeing. Change can be scary but sometimes in the long run a very good thing to happen.

You will be ok - I know it doesn't seem like that now but you are a very strong person.

HUGS

Peta

[catfamily]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
I have been, shall I say......stable. No serious depression, but no real pleasurable days though, either. I can't understand why I am dwelling on this THING! GGRRRRR. it actually makes me mad to think how much this is affecting me.
I tried (as a first step to liking myself) to come up with a list of my good traits.......but I could only come up with 2 :( Guess it is time to read back over all your comments and take notes ;)
You could only come up with 2 things you liked about yourself?Now come on.Think about you..and ONLY you.OK??
I can come up with so many things I like about ME and NOONE likes me.LOL..Just wanted to make you laugh.But seriously..Just think of you..no other people..then you'll come up with lots of things that you love about yourself.Don't let others make you think differently.That can damage your spirit.People do that to other people sometimes to make themselves feel better .

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by catfamily
Just think of you..no other people..then you'll come up with lots of things that you love about yourself.Don't let others make you think differently.That can damage your spirit.People do that to other people sometimes to make themselves feel better .

I agree. As long as YOU know you're a good person and you believe in yourself, it makes no difference what others think of you. Only YOU can control how others control you and your feelings. You can let them totally devastate you or you can blow them off and say that they are not even worth your time to dwell on them. THEY are the one with the problem and YOU need to not worry about THEIR problem. All you need to do is worry about YOU.

Don't know if I really said that right, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say. I also saw an article in a magazine that made me think of you, Jen, and what you're going through. I will try and see if I can find it online. Otherwise I'll see what I can do to get it to you somehow.

Chin up, girl. You're a wonderful, caring person and don't EVER let anybody EVER tell you any less. :)

[carole]

I want to add to the list Jen. YOU ARE

Helpful, ( I alway remember it was YOU who helped me out when I first joined PT, I was having difficulty with something or another)

Reponsible, there is no denying that now is there Jen?

Open and Honest, no need to explain this one.

YOU are all the things above and all the things everyone else has mentioned, I admire your rescue work, the love you bestow on others and the kitties, the fact that when you believe in something , you stick by your beliefs, all in all Jen you are DA BOMB girl.!!!!!:) CHEER UP and keep thinking positive thoughts, you never know they might actually sink in lol.;)

[jenluckenbach]

I did not mean this to become a compliment (ME) thread. hee hee. But thanks a million! I hope someday I can repay each and every one of you for your kindness and support.


{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[carole]

Jen sweetie we all need praise in our lives, and if this is turning into a compliment thread so be it, if it helps you even just a little each day to come by and read what people here REALLY think about you, and how much they care, then that is all that matters.

Just keep taking it all in and you will soon have so many positive thoughts in your head, those negative ones won't stand a chance of worming their way in, lol.

Take care Jen, hope today is a great day for you and one full of happy moments, HUGS.....:)

[lynnestankard]

So Jen., if it does become a 'Lets compliment Jen Thread' whats wsrong with that? Absolutley nothing. :)
I'm sure you know how special you are to me and more {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}and many positive thoughts across the miles.
Take good care sweeheart

Lynne

[slick]

Originally posted by lynnestankard
So Jen., if it does become a 'Lets compliment Jen Thread' whats wsrong with that? Absolutely nothing. :)
Agreed! Jen more {{{HUGS}}} coming your way on this special Thanksgiving day. I give thanks that you are part of Pet Talk.

[lbaker]

I hope you and Charlie (and allll your furbabies of course) had a lovely Thanksgiving day Jen. Lots of friends at the table? No worries mate, you obviously have lots of friends in your heart.. and that's where it matters.

[catmandu]

We still love you,Jen,and are praying,that you dont feel bad,anymore!

[carole]

Jen just stopping by to see how you are doing today?

[jenluckenbach]

Thanks for the continued good wishes. I still really need them. I am still feeling very hurt over this incident. Why can't I just let go?

I don't want to dwell....but if I am 100% honest.......I AM dwelling, and I apologize.

But, on the up-side, foster George will be getting his forever home Sunday and hopefully my fundraiser on PT this year will go well.

Thanks a million! {{{{HUGS}}}}

[dukedogsmom]

I sort of know how you feel. I dwell on things too much also. I had a misunderstanding with my former best friend ages ago and we just never got back together. Try not to let it worry you too much. Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be. I know that doesn't make it any easier, though.

[jenluckenbach]

Lorraine posted this Nov. 20th:

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally,or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it!
It is real!
But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.



And it took a while, but I have been sent the answer (yes, I truly believe He sent me the REASON this all came about). I feel more like myself than I have in weeks. I think I can honestly say that I now understand.

Thank you for being with me during my time of pain. (as recently as last night I was crying so hard over this whole thing that I started to hyper-ventilate, but I think it is behind me now. I feel a sense of peace)

[rg_girlca]

Jen, words cannot express how happy I am to hear that you are close to putting this behind you now and feel at peace with yourself.
You deserve to be happy as you make so many others happy.
I'm glad so many of us were here for you in your time of pain.

(((((HUGS)))))

I just love your new siggy.:)

[sirrahbed]

I found some new hugs! (I thought the old ones might be getting boring and lack feeling):rolleyes: Soooo...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/hug2.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/hug2.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/hug2.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug2.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug2.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug2.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/smilies/grouphug.gif

[slick]

Jen, I'm so happy that you can finally find some peace. Losing a friend is never easy and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to reach out and ask for some help when you are going through tough times. We will always be here for you.

Sending more {{{HUGS}}} from Canada.
slick
xoxo

[carole]

Wonderful news to read Jen, and that you are feeling that inner peace at last, remember we are all here for ya anytime, HUGS and keep smiling Jen.:)

[NoahsMommy]

Jen,
I'm sorry you were upset last night, but happy you're feeling a sense of peace today.

We're always here if you need us. :)

[catmandu]

Aunt Jen,if it helps you at all,The Found Cats,and Feeder love you,very much.

[cruisetime]

So glad to hear you are feeling a sense of peace! I have been on both ends - the one leaving a friend behind and the one being left behind and understand what you are saying. I truely believe what you wrote in the poem. Meant to be.... We all serve a purpose and then it is time to move on. Many huggs coming your way!!!! Debbie

[jenluckenbach]

Aunt Jen,if it helps you at all,The Found Cats,and Feeder love you,very much
I DOES help, thank you.


I truely believe what you wrote in the poem.
I did not write it, but I believe it to be true. :D