cookieluver7
11-05-2004, 05:32 PM
Okay, so I want to write a story and I know it won't be very good because I am not a very good writer but tell me what you think. Here goes:
I awoke to my sister's scream. I hurried and put on my robe and rushed down the stairs. I couldn't believe what I saw before my very eyes. My mother lying dead on the hard wood floor with a blood stain on her shirt.
"Oh my God! Oh my God, what do I do?" I said to myself. My little sister, Katie, was throwing a fit. She was screaming and crying and mumbling something under her breath. All I could make out of it was "whoever murdered my mom..."
It sounded like a threat. My sister and I had gone through a lot. Our father died two years ago when he lost a battle of cancer, and our brother ran away from home at age 15. It was just the two girls left, Katie, and me.
"L..Lindsay, w..what are we g..gonna do?" says Katie through tears. I took my thirteen year old sister into my arms. She was very pale and looked sick. I stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.
"Lindsay, I'm gonna get this person. Whoever is doing this terrible thing to my mom is going to have to pay!" Katie ran to her room and locked the door.
Six months later.
It had been six months since the tradgity with my mother. Katie and I had been doing pretty well together. My friend Emma was staying at my house a lot because she felt bad that we lost both of our parents at ages 13 and 15. Her mom came over to do laundry sometimes and she would help clean the house. I was okay with it, but Katie wasn't. She did not want an adult she hardly knew in her house.
"Katie, Mrs. Lessy is only trying to help us. Why do you always seem so stressed out when she is at our house.
"I don't know," Katie began, "I just don't feel comfortable around her."
"Geese, what a lame excuse!"
"Shut up Lindsay I think there is something bad about her!"
"That she cooks us meals and does all of our chores. Yeah, she is a terrible person," I said sarcastically. Katie rolled her eyes at me.
"Maybe you are right Lindsay, but I just don't know.
So that is all of the story so far. I know, it is terrible, but tell me what you think. If you have any ideas that could make this story a little less boring, then go ahead and share them.
I awoke to my sister's scream. I hurried and put on my robe and rushed down the stairs. I couldn't believe what I saw before my very eyes. My mother lying dead on the hard wood floor with a blood stain on her shirt.
"Oh my God! Oh my God, what do I do?" I said to myself. My little sister, Katie, was throwing a fit. She was screaming and crying and mumbling something under her breath. All I could make out of it was "whoever murdered my mom..."
It sounded like a threat. My sister and I had gone through a lot. Our father died two years ago when he lost a battle of cancer, and our brother ran away from home at age 15. It was just the two girls left, Katie, and me.
"L..Lindsay, w..what are we g..gonna do?" says Katie through tears. I took my thirteen year old sister into my arms. She was very pale and looked sick. I stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.
"Lindsay, I'm gonna get this person. Whoever is doing this terrible thing to my mom is going to have to pay!" Katie ran to her room and locked the door.
Six months later.
It had been six months since the tradgity with my mother. Katie and I had been doing pretty well together. My friend Emma was staying at my house a lot because she felt bad that we lost both of our parents at ages 13 and 15. Her mom came over to do laundry sometimes and she would help clean the house. I was okay with it, but Katie wasn't. She did not want an adult she hardly knew in her house.
"Katie, Mrs. Lessy is only trying to help us. Why do you always seem so stressed out when she is at our house.
"I don't know," Katie began, "I just don't feel comfortable around her."
"Geese, what a lame excuse!"
"Shut up Lindsay I think there is something bad about her!"
"That she cooks us meals and does all of our chores. Yeah, she is a terrible person," I said sarcastically. Katie rolled her eyes at me.
"Maybe you are right Lindsay, but I just don't know.
So that is all of the story so far. I know, it is terrible, but tell me what you think. If you have any ideas that could make this story a little less boring, then go ahead and share them.