I want to get married!

[Miranda_Rae]

I know this is SO lame, but it makes me sad. :( There are a lot of people getting married that I know (they are in their 20s, and I am only 16) but I really want to get married and have someone care for me, and have someone to love, and have them pick me out of the whole wide world. I just feel like its never going to happen because I am not good enough. :( I know I am only 16, so I have a LONG ways to go, but I don't know, I just feel sad and worthless knowing all these other people are getting married and have someone special, because I just feel like its never going to happen for me because I am not good enough, not pretty enough, thin enough, fun enough, etc. :( Sorry about this horribly, pointless thread. :rolleyes:

[aly]

Aww, I was a lot like you when I was your age. I wanted to be married so badly. I was never into the whole casual dating thing, I just wanted to find the love of my life.

Now, 10 years later, I'm glad that I didn't jump into anything back then. It has been good going through college and finding out what I want in life as a single person. I feel like I've fulfilled my wants and desires and now I am ready to share them with my future husband. Some people that I know who got married way too soon say they were never able to "find themselves". They regret not living out their young 20s life. They were just automatically thrown into a world of new responsibilities with their new family.

I'm not saying it is bad to be married young. But I think it's good to take things slowly, live your life, and patiently wait for your soul mate. He WILL come along. As cliche as it sounds, it always happens when you least expect it. So just concentrate on your future education and career and somewhere along that path, you just may bump into that future hubby of yours!

**HUGS**

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by aly
Aww, I was a lot like you when I was your age. I wanted to be married so badly. I was never into the whole casual dating thing, I just wanted to find the love of my life.

Now, 10 years later, I'm glad that I didn't jump into anything back then. It has been good going through college and finding out what I want in life as a single person. I feel like I've fulfilled my wants and desires and now I am ready to share them with my future husband. Some people that I know who got married way too soon say they were never able to "find themselves". They regret not living out their young 20s life. They were just automatically thrown into a world of new responsibilities with their new family.

I'm not saying it is bad to be married young. But I think it's good to take things slowly, live your life, and patiently wait for your soul mate. He WILL come along. As cliche as it sounds, it always happens when you least expect it. So just concentrate on your future education and career and somewhere along that path, you just may bump into that future hubby of yours!

**HUGS**

Thank you so much. I was afraid everyone would think i was crazy or that this was some kind of dumb post. :rolleyes: Yes, I know I should concentrate on my future and my career. I don't want to get married like right out of high school, just in my early twenties. To me that seems like the perfect time for me. :) Thank you so much. :)

[aly]

Well ya never know what might happen!

Maybe you'll meet a nice, young judge at the dog show! HEHE :D

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by aly
Well ya never know what might happen!

Maybe you'll meet a nice, young judge at the dog show! HEHE :D

LOL...thats funny...or maybe a young handler? ;) hehe. Ya never know. where I live its kind of slim on guys, well ok there are guys here but GOOD guys, not the shallow, stupid, arrogant, guys that are here. :rolleyes:

[DJFyrewolf36]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae
LOL...thats funny...or maybe a young handler? ;) hehe. Ya never know. where I live its kind of slim on guys, well ok there are guys here but GOOD guys, not the shallow, stupid, arrogant, guys that are here. :rolleyes:

I've been there! Trust me, before I got married I dated some real "winners" :rolleyes: The guys around here are somewhat sub-par heh.

I kind of wanted to get married when I was younger but I, like you, felt I wasn't good enough. My dating life seemed to prove that lol. I had pretty much given up on the idea but when I was 20 I kind of ran into this guy...lol (I'm 22 now)

I got married Febuary 28th of this year, and I have never been happier! My marrage has proven to me that if you go looking for love, love likes to hide but if you stop looking and just let things happen, it usualy works out for the best! Trust me though, I wasn't planning on getting married so young and we've had our share of problems but things are working out really well. I am glad we are waiting to have kids though, I've seen too many people my age get into a lot of trouble when a child is involved. :(

[PJ's Mom]

I was married when I was 19. I had 4 kids by the time I was 23. I was divorced by 30. I'm glad I had my kids as young as I did. (I'm one of the youngest parents at Open House. :D ) But for the rest, I wish I would've waited and had more time to experience life. I'm married again, am very unhappy, and I feel like it's too late for me. :(

Don't be in a hurry to grow up. It'll happen all in good time. :)

[Queen of Poop]

I think we all felt like that at 16. But there is so much life to experience that you will miss out on if you get married right now. Take your time, smell the roses, watch out for the thorns!!

I have been married twice, the first Mr wonderful didn't turn out so good and after 8 years it was time to say good bye. This second marriage has it's trials (like instant motherhood) and excess baggage, but we're doing ok.

[Anniejack]

I hope you don't mind me butting in here. :)

I felt just like you do when I was 16. So, I dated the WRONG guy, got pregnant, had a baby, got divorced a year later and have been a "single" parent for the last 18 years. Let me tell you, its a VERY HARD ROAD.

I know you want to feel secure and to be taken care of right now but trust me, it's much more gratifying if you learn how to take care of yourself. You are sooo young and have sooo much to look forward to and experience in life. Please, don't rush it.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now. :p

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by Anniejack
I hope you don't mind me butting in here. :)

I felt just like you do when I was 16. So, I dated the WRONG guy, got pregnant, had a baby, got divorced a year later and have been a "single" parent for the last 18 years. Let me tell you, its a VERY HARD ROAD.

I know you want to feel secure and to be taken care of right now but trust me, it's much more gratifying if you learn how to take care of yourself. You are sooo young and have sooo much to look forward to and experience in life. Please, don't rush it.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now. :p

I know what you are all saying, but I don't intend to get married now! :eek: I just WANT to....I am not going to do anything, and my intentions are that I want to wait till i am married to have sex...i know some of you are going to be all "oh thats old fashioned" but thats what i believe, and I want to make it special between my husband and me. I heard once that its a gift, and I want it to be my gift to my husband. ok, enough! :o

[carole]

I can only say at 16 , marriage was something I was not even slightly interested in, infact I was 18 when my 17 year old boyfriend proposed, I turned him down and he was the nicest, sweetest guy ever, I often think of him and wonder, but I was in no way ready for such a comittment.

Miranda Rae, you come across as a very mature young lady, I had no idea you were only 16, especially as we have been going back and forth with comments in my other thread, you seem to have a wise head on young shoulders, but still you have a lot of living to do yet sweetie.

I can understand your longing for that someone special , but believe me sometimes it is worth the wait, when I think of some of the jerks in my younger years I could have ended up with, I am glad that it did not happen until I was 24, but I had to wait until I was 34 for my second hubby to come along and make my life complete.

So Miranda Rae, don't worry you will have that someone oneday, you are too special to be missed, that I can tell for sure, and when you do,hopefully it will be everything you imagined and so much more.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
I can only say at 16 , marriage was something I was not even slightly interested in, infact I was 18 when my 17 year old boyfriend proposed, I turned him down and he was the nicest, sweetest guy ever, I often think of him and wonder, but I was in no way ready for such a comittment.

Miranda Rae, you come across as a very mature young lady, I had no idea you were only 16, especially as we have been going back and forth with comments in my other thread, you seem to have a wise head on young shoulders, but still you have a lot of living to do yet sweetie.

I can understand your longing for that someone special , but believe me sometimes it is worth the wait, when I think of some of the jerks in my younger years I could have ended up with, I am glad that it did not happen until I was 24, but I had to wait until I was 34 for my second hubby to come along and make my life complete.

So Miranda Rae, don't worry you will have that someone oneday, you are too special to be missed, that I can tell for sure, and when you too,hopefully it will be everything you imagined and so much more.

Aww....thank you Carole. You are so sweet! :D You made my day. This thread has made me feel so much better. :)

Oh and referring to the mature young lady, lol, some people have told me that i am inmature because I am kind of hyper. :p :rolleyes: I also do not really like to debate, but I could not stand by without telling my opinion. :)

So thank you very much for making me feel special and for cheering me up, all of you! :)

[carole]

You are most welcome Miranda Rae, I believe in giving credit, where credit is due.

Hey and being hyper does not warrant or justify being called immature, its what is going on in that head of your's that makes the difference, I honestly thought you were much older, and I have only your responses in my other thread to go by, believe me when I say you are a young lady with a wise head on your shoulders.

Good on you for standing up for what you believe in, never be afraid to do that, I personally love a good debate as long as it does not turn nasty.

I always try to listen to that voice of reason in my head, if I can and see both points of view, but like everyone else i have some issues that I just won't bend on. cheers.;)

[Christiansmommy]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae
I know what you are all saying, but I don't intend to get married now! :eek: I just WANT to....I am not going to do anything, and my intentions are that I want to wait till i am married to have sex...i know some of you are going to be all "oh thats old fashioned" but thats what i believe, and I want to make it special between my husband and me. I heard once that its a gift, and I want it to be my gift to my husband. ok, enough! :o

I am a Christian, and I feel the same way you do about waiting until you are married. That is a very admiral trait to have...so good for you! Too many people these days, don't believe that, and I am glad to hear a young lady like you does!

I was the same way, when i was your age...couldn't wait to get married. I ended up meeting my husband when i was 17, we dated for 4 years and got married at 21. This coming April, it will be 7 years that we have been married. I had a little boy 3 years into the marriage. For sure, the first few years were the hardest, figuring out how to live with someone...etc...but through time, we learned, and things get better. There will always be some arguments, but as you grow older into the marriage, you learn how to deal with them on a more mature level...and i am very happily married to my high school sweetheart ( although we went to different high schools, but we dated throughout 12th grade).

Unfortunatley, i have several friends that married too, at a young age, and are divorced already. Anyway, not sure if you are a God believing person, but i stick close with Him, and he seems to direct my paths into His perfect place...

Your Mr. Right will come in God's perfect timing for you. But also, go ahead and dream about that day...when you will meet him...and if you are the praying kind, a few prayers to lead your "Mr. Right " your way, can't hurt :)

Anyway, just my 2 cents :)

~Robyn

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by Christiansmommy
I am a Christian, and I feel the same way you do about waiting until you are married. That is a very admiral trait to have...so good for you! Too many people these days, don't believe that, and I am glad to hear a young lady like you does!

I was the same way, when i was your age...couldn't wait to get married. I ended up meeting my husband when i was 17, we dated for 4 years and got married at 21. This coming April, it will be 7 years that we have been married. I had a little boy 3 years into the marriage. For sure, the first few years were the hardest, figuring out how to live with someone...etc...but through time, we learned, and things get better. There will always be some arguments, but as you grow older into the marriage, you learn how to deal with them on a more mature level...and i am very happily married to my high school sweetheart ( although we went to different high schools, but we dated throughout 12th grade).

Unfortunatley, i have several friends that married too, at a young age, and are divorced already. Anyway, not sure if you are a God believing person, but i stick close with Him, and he seems to direct my paths into His perfect place...

Your Mr. Right will come in God's perfect timing for you. But also, go ahead and dream about that day...when you will meet him...and if you are the praying kind, a few prayers to lead your "Mr. Right " your way, can't hurt :)

Anyway, just my 2 cents :)

~Robyn

Yes, I am a Christian, and its very important to me. :) Thank you very much for the advice. You guys are all so kind and its helped me to stay focused on right now instead of so far ahead. :) Thanks a lot! :D

[moosmom]

Miranda Rae,

I read your post and saw myself so long ago.

When I graduated from high school, the only thing I wanted to do was get married and become a mother. All my friends were doing it, why couldn't I???

I got married at the age of 20 to a man I knew 7 months. I had a daughter after I was married for 1 1/2 years. Divorced by the time I was 24. If I had to do it all over again, I would've waited till I was at LEAST 30 to even THINK about marriage.

I never had the chance to actually go out, date, live on my own and experience life. Hindsight has 20/20 vision Miranda. Please don't be in a hurry to get married. You have your whole life ahead of you, honey. Make the most of it!!!!

((hugs))

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by moosmom
Miranda Rae,

I read your post and saw myself so long ago.

When I graduated from high school, the only thing I wanted to do was get married and become a mother. All my friends were doing it, why couldn't I???

I got married at the age of 20 to a man I knew 7 months. I had a daughter after I was married for 1 1/2 years. Divorced by the time I was 24. If I had to do it all over again, I would've waited till I was at LEAST 30 to even THINK about marriage.

I never had the chance to actually go out, date, live on my own and experience life. Hindsight has 20/20 vision Miranda. Please don't be in a hurry to get married. You have your whole life ahead of you, honey. Make the most of it!!!!

((hugs))

Thank you moosmom. My parents were married when they were 21, they dated since their senior year, and they have been married 26 years! :eek: Gosh, now I just dated them. :rolleyes: Anyho, thank you so much for being so considerate and kind and not making me feel like such a total loser. :)

[guster girl]

I got married a few months after graduating high school, 8 days before I turned 18. I didn't have any kids with him, we wanted to wait. But, I will say that I don't regret getting married, and, I don't regret getting divorced. It's not always the end of the world if it happens that way, ya know? I will say that I was more ready then than I am now, and, I'm 28. Ha ha. I'm totally boy crazy, though, there's no way I could marry anyone right now. But, my marriage was awesome, and, he and I have no hard feelings whatsoever. It was an amazing experience to be married, and, I am interested to see if I'll ever be married again. Not for at least a couple years, though. :)

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae
I know what you are all saying, but I don't intend to get married now! :eek: I just WANT to....I am not going to do anything, and my intentions are that I want to wait till i am married to have sex...i know some of you are going to be all "oh thats old fashioned" but thats what i believe, and I want to make it special between my husband and me. I heard once that its a gift, and I want it to be my gift to my husband. ok, enough! :o

I don't think you're old fashioned. ;) I am going to do the same. I'm a Muslim, and sex out of marriage is against my religion too.

I must say that at 16, I had absolutely no interest in getting married. :p Even now, at 18, I don't really want to get married yet. I think I can wait until my 20s....early 20s. I do want to have that once special person to love, but I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility yet. Hopefully I will be soon...but not yet. You sound like my brother though.......he's been wanting to get married since he was 16. :p LOL! He's 22 now, and still wants to get married...even more desperately now, but now he complains that its too hard to find the right girl. He keeps saying he'll be outdated by next year. LOL! Of course that is totally false...22 is still very young. I know it is hard to get the perfect person...and it does take time. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't worry. ;) We'll all get married some day....at least most of us. He he he!

I actually know a girl who got married at 17. She's 18 now, and has a baby boy now. She's very happy as far as I can tell, but she looks sooooooo young to be a mother. People who don't know her ask if her child's her baby brother. :o Her husband's very young too...I think he's 19. Personally, I would wait until turning 20-21 at least. I just don't think most people are mature/independant enough to handle a household, raise children, and handle all the responsibility that goes with marriage at that young age. Some people are mature enough in their late teens, but I don't think maturity at that age is common. I know I'm not ready yet. I do want that special person in my life soon, but I want to wait until I feel ready. :p I do think I will get married by my early 20s though...hopefully.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by popcornbird
I don't think you're old fashioned. ;) I am going to do the same. I'm a Muslim, and sex out of marriage is against my religion too.

I must say that at 16, I had absolutely no interest in getting married. :p Even now, at 18, I don't really want to get married yet. I think I can wait until my 20s....early 20s. I do want to have that once special person to love, but I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility yet. Hopefully I will be soon...but not yet. You sound like my brother though.......he's been wanting to get married since he was 16. :p LOL! He's 22 now, and still wants to get married...even more desperately now, but now he complains that its too hard to find the right girl. I know it is hard to get the perfect person...and it does take time. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't worry. ;) We'll all get married some day....at least most of us. He he he!

I actually know a girl who got married at 17. She's 18 now, and has a baby boy now. She's very happy as far as I can tell, but she looks sooooooo young to be a mother. People who don't know her ask if her child's her baby brother. :o Her husband's very young too...I think he's 19. Personally, I would wait until turning 20-21 at least. I just don't think most people are mature/independant enough to handle a household, raise children, and handle all the responsibility that goes with marriage at that young age. Some people are mature enough in their late teens, but I don't think maturity at that age is common. I know I'm not ready yet. I do want that special person in my life soon, but I want to wait until I feel ready. :p I do think I will get married by my early 20s though...hopefully.

Oh I am definately going to wait till my 20s, but I still wnat to get married. :o But I feel much better now that i have started this thread and everything. Oh gosh, it is SO hard to find someone thats DECENT anymore. :rolleyes: :(

[Samantha Puppy]

In June of this year, I got married. When Josh and I started dating we were 17. We turned 26 this past May.

You can't help who you fall in love with and you'll somehow know The One when you are ready to know that he is The One. I can't explain it, but you will know. Until then, HAVE FUN being young! I know it's not always easy but please realize that this point in your life is a special time and one that you will long for the older you get. Trust me.

Josh and I were together almost 10 years before we got married. I thought, going into it, that we were lucky in that most people don't know each other as long or as well as we have grown to over the years so getting married and living with him would be easy. HA!!! There isn't a saying that "The honeymoon is over!" for nothing! As soon as we got back from our honeymoon and moved in together, we were at each other's throat. Not even three weeks into our marriage, we got into such a horrible fight that I told him that getting married to him was the worst mistake I'd ever made. Of course, it wasn't and I still love him - I just wanted to make him hurt as much as he was hurting me.

ANYWAY, what I'm trying to say is that things don't automatically turn into rainbows and butterflies after you say "I do." You'll still have bad days. You may be thinking, "Yeah but at least I'll have someone to come home to who loves and understands me" but you know what? He may not always be in the mood to listen to you or want to cheer you up. Your bad mood may put him into a bad mood every once in awhile. So while he will love you, he may not always be so understanding.

I wished my single life away. Don't you do the same. It's scary and uncertain and fun and crazy, all rolled into one, and if you spend your life waiting until you're married to feel validated, you will eventually resent yourself and all the fun times you could've had.

[Glacier]

Don't be in a big rush!

My sister was not quite 19 when she got married. She just turned 30, is about to have her 4th child. Her marriage has been difficult and full of troubles. They have been on the brink of divorce repeatedly including several long separations. The root of all their problems is that they were too dang young when they got married. Neither of them knows anything about any other way of life. I commend them for continuing to try and work it out, but it's been a long hard road for them, and will likely stay that way for awhile.

I was 26 when I got married. I still think that was a little young sometimes! But I had done alot of things--I had bought my own house, travelled, got two degrees, partied, done all the wild and crazy things I'd never tell my mother about! So had my husband who was 32 when we got married. I can now honestly look at him and know that he is the right one. I know what else was out there and I don't have to wonder about what might have been. I am also educated enough and financially capable of taking care of myself and my animals should the need ever arise!

Enjoy your youth! When the time is right, the right person will come along.

[catfancier]

I completely agree with all Popcornbird and Samantha Puppy had to say - (and Popcornbird I thought you were MUCH older than 18, your age certainly doesn't show in your threads!). I always had urges to go out every weekend when I was 14, 15, 16, 17 and meet boys, go to parties etc, and I never had a proper boyfriend the whole time I was at school. I didn't think I would ever find a guy because I believed I was unattractive, weird and I didn't know what to do when I was around guys, although I could be an excellent FRIEND.
Matt came along when I was 19, I basically moved in with him the first day we met (I didn't have a bed at the flat I was living in, I was sleeping on the couch, so he offered me his bed - and he would sleep on the couch), and I never left! He is my *first* (if you get what I mean) and only, and we are completely best friends. It took a long time for us to truly trust each other, he had been badly bitten by a previous girlfriend - she dumped him saying that he wasn't tall enough - at least that's to my knowledge anyway. He's about 5'3" and I'm about 5'7".
Anyway we're now very happy together in our three bedroom rental place all to ourselves and our beautiful pets. I'm now 23 and he is 25, we've been together for almost 4 1/2 years, and there are still things that we discover about each other, which is cool because it gives you something to figure out all the time as we are both evolving as individuals, and in our relationship.
At times I do feel that being in such a committed relationship is a pain in the bum, I'd love to just go out and do my own thing, with no consequences and no one to report to. I may still be living at home, because I feel tied to living in this house and having this relationship, but then I look at what I do have and I couldn't imagine leaving it all behind. I certainly couldn't imagine destroying this relationship by doing something stupid like being unfaithful.

Luckily, Matt comes from good stock - his dad is the best man in the world! (And hopefully will be walking me down the aisle one day!)
We will get married one day - I thought it would be nice to be married when I'm 24 because that sounded like a cool age, but now I'm 23 1/2 so I don't think that will happen for me! I just can't wait for the day I do get married because not only will I be a 'Princess' (yay, I've always wanted to be a princess!), but I will be able to have dogs and maybe more cats, who knows! Furry additions to the family! I can't wait to get a couple of dogs!

Sorry for the blah blah but it's a nerve of mine you've tweaked so I thought I would contribute.
You will be so excited when you do finally get married, I hope that when the day comes, it will be better than you dream it to be!

[Miranda_Rae]

Thank you all for your kind words. :) I appreciate it so much because it makes me feel better. Thanks again. You guys are the greatest! :D

[jazzzytina]

Miranda Rae, I also think you are a mature young lady who has the right notions about things, like waiting until marriage for sex. I didn't do that, and I wish I had.

You have a lot of love in your heart that you want to share, and want someone to care for you, and I understand that too. Ask God to bring you someone when you are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually ready to make a commitment, and that His will be done. That way, you know you'll be doing the right thing.

I admire someone who has so much love in her heart. God will bless you for that, I'm sure.

Love, Tina

[My Peanuts]

At 16 I felt the same way. I was engaged by the time I was 18, but by 21 I was so involved (and I still am) with bars and clubs. I'm nowhere near ready now :) Have fun while you're young and get married because you found the love of your life and not because you are in love with the thought of being married. I know you aren't saying you are getting married now, but if you are like I was you would if you could. I felt more ready at that age then I do now :p

[CathyBogart]

I went through the same feelings when I was your age...and I wound up engaged when I was 18. It took me only 8 months to realize that I was making a big mistake, and I'm glad now that I did. You'll find the right person, and you'll know when you're ready. :)

[Corinna]

Ok I will now twist the odds out . I married at 17 but we had dated for 3 years and didn't have kids for 3 years. We just celebrated our 25th . we did wait to have sex and it was worth it . I would (if I had to do it over) have waited a while longer. We have had our ups and downs(growing pains) but over all its been good .
3 of my freinds were married the same year (before school grad) only one is still married to the same person. They had been dating since 6th grade.
I must admit from seeing this thread I am given a renewed since that the current young people (omg I sound like my mom) do have a good since of values . If you listen to the media ever one is having sex all the time and anywhere.
As a mom I say great to all of you and keep up your standards.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by Alice_rox
:) I am 12 and I want to get married young 2!

I don't want to get married young. I want the love and nurture, and campanionship of a relationship, but when i am ready and older, but I do long for it, but not right now! :)