when your'e whole world seems to come crashing down around you.....

[carole]

I don't want to go into detail here, but that is how I feel right now, what do you do to make yourself feel better, and tell yourself it isn't all that bad, even if it feels it is!!

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by carole
I don't want to go into detail here, but that is how I feel right now, what do you do to make yourself feel better, and tell yourself it isn't all that bad, even if it feels it is!!
Psalm 50:15 is what comes immediately to my mind!!

Looked it up real quickly - it is:
Psalm 50
15 and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

[slick]

What do I do?

- look at all the homeless people. I have a roof over my head and a soft bed to sleep on.
- look at those with nothing to eat. My fridge is full.
- look at those with no job. I have a job and a steady income.
- look at those with serious illnesses. I have my health.
- closer to home, look at all the cancer patients and what they are going through, especially the children.

That's what puts my life in perspective.

{{{HUGS}}} Carole. We all get down every now and then. Email me anytime you want to talk.

[Kfamr]

Sleep!

[puppyluvs]

I call up on the Lord !

[trayi52]

I do like Kay, I just try to sleep. Sometimes it seems like I do a lot of sleeping. I wake up and feel better, sometimes, and sometimes it just don't go away.

Willie

[KYS]

I sit in the back yard for a few minutes, or garden
with my dogs,
I than think their are other people out their in this
world that have it much worse off then I do.

Sometimes window shopping helps, being with family or just a simple walk around the neighborhood.

[teenster3]

I don't know, I can't seem to pull myself out of the hole yet.
But one of my closest friend's would be agreeing with "SLICK" right now. She's always telling me that they are MUCH WORSE OFF PEOPLE THAN MYSELF IN THE WORLD! She also reads the bible every night & talks to God.
I have to agree I have a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, family & friends that love me, etc.
It's just hard sometimes to think, how much worse offyou could be! Especially, when you're in the moment of sadness, anger, or whatever. I REALLY HOPE YOU PULL YOURSELF UP & FEEL HAPPY SOON!!!!!!!
Tina:)

[BCBlondie]

Sorry you're feeling like that... :( I've been feeling like that too recently... *sighs* Life sucks.

What I do to feel better... I watch TV... it helps me get my mind off things. Also, ice cream seems to help me too.. and crying when I get too overly frustrated with life helps too...

*hugs* Hope you feel better! :(

[Karen]

I sing really the saddest songs I know, which somehow makes it better. "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child" is one.

[Fox-Gal]

It's wasn't too long ago I asked about the same question, here and received a lot of good answers. To be honest though I didn't really get a chance to try any out, as I got hit by another hurricane. :rolleyes: So I know about how you are feeling. Life has slapped me in the face with more then what I believe an average person should have in a short period of time. Finding your way out seem so hard and on some days even hopeless. But as we all know there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm not out of my tunnel yet, but I can see the light ahead. What has help me so far is to take all the bad that's happened to me one item at a time. I try not to look at it all as one big crash but as several small little falls. What ever has crashed around you to make you feel this way, break it up in to small pieces, if you can. Handle one problem at a time and try not to focus on it all at once. It's hard I know, but it's a lot easier to deal with smaller items in your life then all of them wraped up into one big mess.

The other thing that has help me some right now is I have been helping a friend through her own hard times. It seem to take things off my mind for a little bit and does put things in perspective some for me. Sure I'm living in half a home, insurance problems, deaths of pets etc. But I'm still have more then a lot of other and when looking at it that way, it's not as bad. I'm not saying go out and find someone worce off, but if you know someone that's going through a hard time too, even if it's smaller then yours, helping others seem to also help you.

Find someone you can share with, that you know will undersatnd but not let you drown yourself in your own sorrows.

Take what ever problem you are having and handle only one thing at a time. Don't over load yourself. Sometimes we can be are worce enemy and not even know it.

And if you can, get in your car one nice night/day and go for a long counrty drive and really look around at your world. See what beauty there really is around you. Nothing is more up lifting then the wonders of nature.

And if all else fails, go ahead and cry it out, there's nothing wrong with a good cry now and again.

Also if you ever need a new friend to talk to, you know where to find me, just PM. :)

I hope and pray that you feel better soon and will see that wonderful light at the end of the tunnel that lets you know life is good and you are happy again.

[catnapper]

Oh boy do I know this feeling!

I first look at the good things I have... ok, hubby tells me the good things and I reluctantly admit he's right.

Also, and don't laugh, when I was at my worst, I felt sooo accomplished just by cleaning the bathroom. Take on one little task at a time and throw your wholeself into it without abandon. Don't think of anything else but the task at hand and move on to the next. this really helped me.

Volunteering helped me a lot too. I got out, felt like I was contributing to someone else's happiness... and in turn made mysef happy.

I don't know what is wrong, but I hope you get to feeling the world is balanced again soon. {{{HUGS}}

[carole]

Thank you, you are all so sweet, I don't even know why I posted this thread, I was going to delete it, but i do know why because you all bring me comfort.

I know its seem a little unfair to tell you this, and not tell you what has happened, but I just cannot bring myself to share it, the best I can do is say, someone very close to me has betrayed me, and deceived me, and it hurts a lot, and its probably not what everyone is thinking, sorry I don't want to be mysterious.

My heart is heavy is the only way I can put it, and my stomach has that sinking feeling, you all know the one.

I am not sure if anything will ever be the same again, I am confused and not thinking straight right now, but its always great to know that PT friends stick by you no matter what. Thank you all.

[slick]

Carole: thanks for posting an update. You know, Pet Talk is not only celebrating pets, it's also for celebrating and caring for humans. Please don't be embarrassed for starting this thread. To be honest, I've been in your shoes but instead of talking about it here, I just take a Pet Talk break and wallow in my own sorrow. You have more courage than I do.

More {{{HUGS}}} coming your way and please believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Tina: I hope you know that you can email me anytime you need to talk. My door is always open.

[carole]

Thanks Slick your words are very comforting, I did feel embarrassed, it was like I was looking for sympathy, I just felt I had no-one I wanted to confide this to, and even though I am talking about it here, I can cruise around PT and answer other threads which help keep my mind off my troubles.

I am really such a private person in real life, my privacy is sacred to me, I suprise myself when I share so much here, but i guess its because its behind closed doors so to speak.

Thanks again for cheering me up, you a very special person.!!!!:)

[rg_girlca]

When I am feeling like this Carole, I also look around at what I have in my life. My two wonderful, loving sons. My beloved pets who give me unconditional love and I also read this often:

..................................FORGIVE ME LORD...............................

Today, upon a bus, I saw a lovely maid with golden hair. I envied her, she seemed so gay and wished I were as fair. When suddenly she arose to leave, I saw the cruel braces as she hobbled down the aisle; a victim of polio was she. But as she passed, a smile. Oh God forgive me when I whine. I have two straight feet. The world is mine!

And then I stopped to buy some sweets. The lad who sold them had such charm. I talked with him, He smiled. He said to me, "It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see, i'm blind."
Oh God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes. The world is mine!

Then walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue. He stood and watched the others play. It seems he knew not what to do. I stopped a moment, then I said, "Why don't you join the others dear?" He looked ahead without a word and then I knew he could not hear. Oh God forgive me when I whine. I have two ears. The world is mine!

With feet to take me where i'd go, with eyes to see the sunset's glow, with ears to hear what I would know, oh God forgive me when I whine. I'm blessed indeed.
The world is mine.

Author Unknown

[carole]

That is a beautiful story and so true.....I will try to keep it in mind.:)

[Fox-Gal]

I don't if this is even the same as what happened to you but I want to tell you that one of my problems right now is also a betrayal of a friend/family member and it's killing me. I know that things will never be the same again in this case and it is hard to accept. This is not one of those things that a I'm sorry can fix. There are somethings in life that you can't control as much as you wish you could. So I undersatnd 100% your hurt and maybe even anger, if this case.

Don't ever be embarrassed about posting your true feelings or thinging that you sound like your asking for sympathy the people here on PT know better. Sometimes you just have to post or write down your feeling in any form, just to release them. And along the way you find out that there are so many other that care about you, that always has to help if just a little bit.

Hope it all works out for you the way you want.

[davidpizzica]

Carole, don't forget I'm here for you. You can talk to me ANY time!

[moosmom]

Carole,

Been there MANY times!! I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

Whenever I get to feeling like that (I call it MY "personal pity party") (keep in mind I am by NO MEANS insinutating YOU are having a pity party) , I go to church down the street and pray, balling my eyes out. I feel cleansed after that, even though the puffy red eyes are dead give away that I've been crying. Before I was diagnosed with Chronic Clinical Depression, I'd sleep, stay in my jammies and not leave the house for days. It was all part of the disease. I'm now on Paxil and feeling okay, although I'd rather be in CT.

Betrayal is like having your heart ripped out and stepped on. When I found out I was betrayed by my SIL, I was also devastated, because I would tell her things I wouldn't tell anyone. THAT'S when I decided it was time to go back to CT where my REAL family and friends are (as well as here on PT). I'm still working on it, might take me some time, but I have that goal in my head and it keeps me from having another pity party.

Another thing I do is say the Serenity Prayer:

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you my dear Carole. We ARE all here for you and want you to know that.

[GraciesMommy]

I can relate...I went thru something in July...probably totally different scenerio but devestating to me just the same...betrayal...heart break...and will never get over it..but am dealing with it best I can. That is also when I got Gracie, July 31st...and she has been THE BEST medicine...I know its not her responsiblity to heal my heart..but she sure has helped!

To keep my mind occupied at home..which is where I think about it all most...I am lost in these websites...they have also helped me more than I can say.

I have also journalized my feelings some..can't say it helps...but I do it when I get the most angry and it helps to at least put it down into words (I type it on the puter)

~hugs

[cookieluver7]

Just remember that others have things worse than you do. Some people don't have a home or enough money to buy our every day needs. I'm sure your down now... when your'e whole world seems to come crashing down... (this is my part) ... it is up to others to help you turn it around. (okay it is kind of cheesy) I hope my advice helped you. Good luck!

[cloverfdx]

I know what you are feeling and i am going through it at the moment :(. I have just arrived home from partying with the most awesome people (My friends) and feel slightly better, so that is what i do.

[Barbara]

I would have given the same advice as Slick.

Plus: take it slowly, one day at a time or one hour at a time. Try to do some things you really like like listening to your favorite music, take a hot bath with something that smells good ...

Don't forget there are things you like and you can do- even if you are alone.

All the best for you:)

[Cataholic]

Oh what a difference a day can make. I try to remember that, and know, chances are, tomorrow will be a better day. If not a better day, at least one day further away from the hurt. One day closer to 'feeling better'..even if that day is still far off in the future.

I have heard that reaching out, and helping another person is also helpful...

[slick]

Carole, you started this thread yesterday. How are you today? I'm concerned.

[carole]

Thank you to everyone, every single word has entered my fuzzy head, and helped a lot.

I feel better today, I have tried to put it into perspective, and tell myself it could be worse, and I am on the road to forgiveness and helping this person who made me feel this way.

I went shopping yesterday, just to help cheer myself up, picked up a little trinket I had on layby for my daughters xmas, a gorgeous heart shaped sterling silver necklace, and then we chilled out and watched a movie together, some teenage drama queen movie, was kinda silly movie, but just the kind i needed, light-hearted and funny in places.

My kitties always help me along the way, I look at them, and know they will never betray their mummy,no wonder I love them so much.

One just has to get on with life and make the best of it don't we?
Thanks so much for your concern and help, I just took a break away from PT yesterday, can't get rid of me that easy lol. look even a try at pitiful humour , now that's a good sign , right?

[slick]

{{HUGS}}} Carole. It's true, a little time away from Pet Talk can be a good thing. Sooner or later we realize what we are missing and make our way back. :)
Glad to hear you are feeling better. That necklace sounds gorgeous. I'm sure your daughter is going to love it.

Betrayal is a hard thing to get over. I'm afraid I've been in your shoes but the forgiveness part never happened. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I've lost a few friends along the way; I've gained many more through Pet Talk.

Chin up girl and remember we are always here for you.

slick
xo

[davidpizzica]

Carole, that is GREAT that you're getting over this! I'd rather see you upbeat like this, not like you were a couple days ago. Can't keep a beautiful lady like you down!

[NoahsMommy]

I guess when my world comes crashing down, I tend to lean on or towards the people I do trust and know will be there for me. Family or friends or PT. PT is always a excellent place, because we all care for each other.

Whatever happened, I hope time will heal all involved. I'm sorry you're down and I'm sorry life can get so bad sometimes.

One thing I tend to repeat to myself endlessly is that things only happen for some reason. You will eventually be able to look back upon a situation and will see what you've gained from it, and I hope it will only be good.

My mom tells me, "and this too, shall pass" and that comforts me. It helps to look at a calendar, physically get up and look at the days, weeks, months. Pick a date where you know things will be healed and better. It truly helps to put it in that perspective, to know IT WILL PASS and that life will go on, as will you, but a different and stronger person.

Please take care and know we're here for you.

Love, Kelly :)

P.S. Somehow, shopping ALWAYS makes me feel better. Oh, lots of chocolate too. ;)

[carole]

Thanks everyone, you are all such wonderful caring, honest, and giving people, Kelly I was so tempted just to pig out on some chocolates, my comfort food, but I am trying to diet right now, and I am really proud I did not succumb to my usual habit, so onward we go eh?

Slick I have to forgive this betrayal as this person means too much to me, although I am not going to forget it, this person needs my help and some professional help along the way, so I am going to be there for them.

Love you all.
:)

[slick]

Originally posted by carole
[B]Slick I have to forgive this betrayal as this person means too much to me, although I am not going to forget it, this person needs my help and some professional help along the way, so I am going to be there for them.
Bless you Carole. That makes you a much better person than I'll ever be.

[carole]

Oh I don't know about that, they are merely words, I actually have to carry it through yet my friend .

[rg_girlca]

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better Carole.

I hope and pray that everything works out for the better in the long run.:)

Take care of yourself.

[Miranda_Rae]

Oh Carole, I hope things are going much better for you! I don't like to see you down. :( You can PM me if you need someone to talk to! :)

Here are some things that I do when I need a coping method. I am not the greatest at using them because for almost a year I have been using a not so good one, but when I choose to use a different one here are some that I use:

Reading a good book
Writing in a journal
Looking at the nature-its SO pretty :)
Looking at how beautiful Heidi is and how much I love her (that cheers me up some)
Talking to someone about how I feel
Writing letters
Writing on my story
Listening to some good music
And If I am having a REALLY bad day, I sleep

I am sure you can think of some other ones too! I also like to read letters people wrote me telling me how much they love me. Oh, and going for a walk is good too. I don't know if any of those help, but they help cheer me up, and make the day a little bit more bearable. :) I don't like to shop so thats something I couldn't do because I can NEVER find clothes that fit me because they must make the pants for giants...hello, we are not all giants here! :rolleyes:

Anyway, I hope things are going better for you! I am sorry that its so rotten for you. Remember you can PM me if you need someone to talk to. :) {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[carole]

Thank you both for your kind words and helpful thoughts, i will keep them all in mind, just taking one day at a time, I have the paper run to do with my daughter today,so that will get me walking.:)

[Miranda_Rae]

How are you doing Carole? I hope well. I have been thinking about you. :)

[ramanth]

*HUGS* to you Carole. It looks like you've got some great advice/ideas. I hope you start feeling better soon.

I myself, I take a long hot bath, sleep, or go for long walks in the woods when I'm feeling down.

Take care!

[slick]

Still thinking about you Carole.

{{{HUGS}}}

slick
xo

[carole]

Thank you guys, you are all so sweet, I am doing ok, as you can see I am still making a contribution to PT here in lots of threads, keeps my mind of things, and Just moving on,and dealing with it all, and forgiving, life is ok, I am stronger than I thought, and I just have to be supportive to this person.

Life deals everyone some blows now and then, some worse than others, but we just have to pick up the pieces don't we.

I know coming here was indeed the right thing to do now, because it gave me the courage to move past this and deal with it, rather than fall into a deep depression, I have you all to thank for that, I still have my down moments, but that is to be expected
.
My daughter is having a halloween party with three of her friends this weekend , so that will keep my mind busy,and the house will be a bomb site as per usual afterwards, but she is so excited, they are hoping to sleep in the backyard in a tent, but the weather is not looking so good.

I have lots of other things to be thinking about, my mother's upcoming 70th birthday, I was finding it so hard to find her a present, she has everything she wants really, but I found the perfect gift I know she will love, she is such a fan of the singer Daniel O'donnell, met him many times, seen him here, aussie, Ireland, and his latest CD is not available here yet, But I have ordered it on the internet from the USA, she will be so happy, she has every other one, so I cannot wait to see her face when she gets it.

Sorry for babbling on here, but its great to have such a wonderful place full of caring, people who listen to me, and help me through my daily life, YOU ARE THE BEST !!!!and I LOVE YA ALL!!!!:)

Now I have another PT member who needs my support, so I am off to PM her right now, cya.

[Miss Meow]

Carole, {{{hugs}}}

Hope things are looking a little brighter for you. I'm sure your mum will love her present :)

[davidpizzica]

Carole, I am SO glad that things are looking up for you! And I'm sure your mother will enjoy the CD. Carole, and I mean this, if you start getting one of your down periods, Your big brother in Pittsburgh is only a PM away!!

[carole]

Thanks so much Miss Meow, and David don't you worry I just might be taking you up on that offer BRO.!!:)

I am planning a dinner for my parents on her birthday evening, just hubby the kids and I and them of course and we are going to get the new DVD , it's based on the TV programme, 'who wants to be a millionaire" both my parents just love it, so we will have the giant screen up and be testing our knowledge, should be a good night all around, we then will have a lunch at our fav restaurant with my family members from Auckland the sunday prior to her Birthday, so I have plenty other things to keep my mind at bay, thanks goodness. cheers everyone.;)

[kimlovescats]

Carole, I am just now reading this post for the first time .... but I wanted to say that when I am feeling really depressed, I too try to focus on my many blessings. Of course, sometimes that makes me feel even more depressed because I feel selfish for being so depressed!!! :rolleyes: LOL!!!! Just try to remember that if God brings us to it, He will bring us through it!

(((HUGS)))

Kim

[rg_girlca]

Carole, first off, never apologize for talking out how or what you are feeling. This helps with the healing process.

I'm glad to hear that you are doing better and keeping yourself busy.

I also have to add, I LOVE DANIEL. I am so envious of your mother being able to see him and meet him in person. I wish he would make his way here to Montreal. I have 4 of his CD's. I could listen to him sing alllll day. He had 2 specials on PBS that I had taped and I have watched them over and over. I find his voice so soothing.

Wish your mom a Very Happy 70th Birthday for me.:)

[carole]

Another Daniel fan, I will be sure to tell her to tell him to go to Montreal next time, she has heaps of pics with him, giving her kisses on the cheek, he is really good like that to his fans,my mum thinks the world of him, he does appear to be a very nice person, and as loyal to his fans as they are to him., I shall tell her about you loving Daniel, she just loves to hear anything positive about Daniel. lol.

Thank you Kim,I am doing my best to just get on with things, taking each day as it comes.;)

[Miranda_Rae]

Carole, I am so glad to hear that things are going better. I am sorry that i did not write back right away. :( Still thinking about you. :) I know how hard it is to forgive someone, and I am glad that you've decided to do it. I didn't forgive that person for 3 years, and it was hard, but now that I have its so much better. :) {{{HUGS}}}

[carole]

Thanks Miranda Rae, yes it is hard to forgive when someone betrays your trust, whatever the reason, and I am not the most forgiving person in the world, but sometimes you just have to toss up whether its worth holding a grudge, or moving on in a more positive direction, so I have chosen the latter.

So here's to new beginnings.:)

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
Thanks Miranda Rae, yes it is hard to forgive when someone betrays your trust, whatever the reason, and I am not the most forgiving person in the world, but sometimes you just have to toss up whether its worth holding a grudge, or moving on in a more positive direction, so I have chosen the latter.

So here's to new beginnings.:)

I am glad that you have chosen the latter. :) It is so much better. You don't want to be hanging onto a grudge for 3 years like I did. :( It robs a lot of happiness from you.

[carole]

Absolutely Miranda, there goes that wise head of yours again, and you have obviously learned from your mistakes.

I am wondering what time it is with you,? its 7.45 am here and everyone is still asleep, but me and the kitties, my daughter and her friends stayed up late watching horror movies last night, so they are tuckered out today lol.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
Absolutely Miranda, there goes that wise head of yours again, and you have obviously learned from your mistakes.

I am wondering what time it is with you,? its 7.45 am here and everyone is still asleep, but me and the kitties, my daughter and her friends stayed up late watching horror movies last night, so they are tuckered out today lol.

Thanks! :D Do you really think I am wise? :o Sometimes I don't, lol.

It is 1:30 here. I have been on here WAY too long, lol, but I have nothing else to do, my dog is gone, no ones home, and theres nothing else to do. :rolleyes: :p

[carole]

Yes I really do, I could not believe you were only 16 when we were in the stem cell thread.

I know what ya mean, nothing I can do, the girls are all asleep downstairs, so If I start doing anything, I will wake them, so this is the best place I can be, not that I mind one bit.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by carole
Yes I really do, I could not believe you were only 16 when we were in the stem cell thread.

I know what ya mean, nothing I can do, the girls are all asleep downstairs, so If I start doing anything, I will wake them, so this is the best place I can be, not that I mind one bit.

Thank you. :D That makes me feel special. Readings fun too....I don't have any books to read. :( Oh well....I should get off this thing. :rolleyes:

[Miranda_Rae]

Carole,

How are you doing? I've been thinking about you. :) Please let us know how things are going. {{{HUGS}}}

[guineapiglover4life]

Whenever I am down, I call up a bunch of friends, turn on the radio/CD to my favorite tunes, and dance to my heart's content! I always feel better, and my friends cheer me up. :)

[carole]

Miranda Rae, I am doing good, just getting on with things, and keeping my mind busy, putting it all behind me and moving on, the people on PT have enabled me to do that and I thank each and every one of them, special thank you to you for your concern and support, you are one great young lady.:)

[Miranda_Rae]

I am glad that you are doing well Carole. :) I've been wondering how you've been doing. I know its hard to get over things when they bother you. Thanks for the compliment! :) {{{HUGS}}}

[LKPike]

cry, smile alot (seriously it works, just force yourself to smile and usually something worth smiling/laughing about pops into mind), snuggle with your pets knowing if the worlds against you they wont be, but if it all fails.... beat the living heck out of the nearest pillow.


***edit - oh and, christmas lights ;) I had mine up in middle of May just to make me happy after bad relationship :) worked great :)