On-line dating? Yes? No?

[CountryWolf07]

Why? I am going with "Yes".. but I would like to see YOUR opinions! ;)

This is for my research paper that I'll be working on for the next couple of weeks! Thanks!!

[Kfamr]

Sure, why not?

As long as it's safe, as in you know whom you're talking to, then I see no problem with it.

[slick]

An absolute NO.

[cloverfdx]

Nope. (No)

[davidpizzica]

I agree with Slick, NO! You really can't be sure whom you are talking to on the other end. There are too many sexual predators on line to be safe!

[MariaM]

It depends, but in most cases I'd say no. If I had to chose one then I'd say no though.

[binka_nugget]

Yes, if you're smart about it.

Edit:
I have a friend who is a complete idiot at it. I've always doubted her "relationships" would work.

On the other hand, I've been talking to someone for over 2 years. An advantage to online dating is that you get to really know the person before meeting. Although.. we aren't "dating" exactly.. we've just been talking for a long time but neither of us have our lives on hold for the other person. I think we know each other far better than any of our RL friends. There are ways to prove that the person in the picture is really them (ie: webcam, pictures with specific poses or even a piece of paper with their name and email, etc). So my answer is yes, as long as you're smart about it and don't give out your address and such to any person who asks.

[catnapper]

DEFINATELY!
Thats how I met my husband. We talked for a month or so before we met in person, and were engaged 5 months later. Married 9 months after we met face to face. :)

That was 3 years ago and I can't imagine my life without him. If we had met on the street, I'd have never given him a second look. Because I got to know the man inside I gave him a different look than if I had relied on just the outer shell of the man.

[ComedyDevil]

I'm gonna go with No.

IMO, I don't see how online dating could work, whether you met the person on the internet, or know them IRL but just keep in touch online. For one thing, it would be far too easy for the person to lie to you, cheat on you, or completely disappear. Look at the amount of trolls we've had on here that have used pictures of other people's pets as their own, it would be far too easy to lie. Plus, it can be hard to convey emotions etc. over the 'net, I think it would be hard to have a serious relationship via a chat room or emails.

On the other hand, a lot of my friends in real life, I initially met over the 'net. I think you can meet a lot of cool, interesting peoiple online that you may not have met otherwise, and it gives you the chance to get to know them before you meet them. I've met people from the 'net before, and will continue to do so. So, I think internet friendships can work, but not dating.

JMHO

[PJ's Mom]

I met my current hubby online. Let's just say it's very hard to know what you're getting yourself into with an online relationship. :(

[CathyBogart]

Yes, absolutely. I love getting to know a person's thoughts and mind before meeting them in person....if both people are honest it can work out wonderfully.

[lovemyshiba]

No

[micki76]

I'm sure it could work, but I think about how much fun it is in the beginning of a relationship. Anticipating every date and all. I would never want to cyber date, I like the traditional way, holding hands, walking arm in arm, watching his face light up when you walk in a room, and watching his expressions when you talk. Much more fun! :)

[BCBlondie]

It depends.

I'm going to say yes. But you just need to trust your gut. Some people I meet online I totally trust, but others seem a little fishy to me, so I try not to get too close to them.

Also, meeting people online - it can be like, your cousin (who you talk to online) introduces you to a friend of hers, that SHE knows in real life, but you've never met. So you start talking online, and then maybe eventually meet in RL.

Or, like a few people have mentioned - You start talking to the person, get to know them, their personality, their views and opinions, their likes/dislikes, etc. When you meet the person in RL, you don't end up immediately judging them because you know what a great person they are. (If they weren't a great person, I don't think you'd be meeting them in RL :D LOL)

But then there are those cases where stalker freaks are out to get little girls...

You just need to watch out and be smart. Maybe after talking online, you can talk on the phone, and see if they actually sound the age they say they are.

So my answer is yes - if you trust your gut and be smart about what you're doing.

[heinz57_79]

I say yes.. I've met some of my best friends online, and tho I'm not dating any of them, I have dated people I met online and as long as you have a good head on your shoulders it's ok.

In regards to the whole you don't know who you're talking to online, you can be just as unsure of people in real life. There have been numerous people I've met in RL that turned out to be nothing like they seemed.

Times, they are a changin'! hehe Ya just gotta roll with it, I reckon. :)

[NoahsMommy]

The problem is, most people aren't honest. Especially if they can hide online.

My good friend has been trying the online dating thing and they've all been losers. :( I feel so badly for her because she's a HUGE catch! She's just not into the bar scene and we live in a pretty suburban area.

I personally wouldn't do it, only because I don't trust what most people say as it is. Online would be worse for me.

[ramanth]

I went on a date with some guys thru online dating services. None of them clicked but I know friends who have made some real connections!

If you play it smart, I don't see the harm in it. No different than meeting a stranger on the street really. That's what dating is about. Getting to know a person.

I met Andy at a Convention. I walked right up to him, said I liked his costume and we exchanged emails. 6 years later we were dating and now we're engaged. :)

[dogs_4_me]

No

[guster girl]

I say yes. I think you have to be safer about certain things, like your whereabouts and certain personal information. There are pros and cons to both online and face to face dating.

[Uabassoon]

I say yes, I've met some wonderful people on the internet. I met my current girlfriend online and many of my best friends on the internet. But as for actual internet "dating" I think that's kind of silly, but I do know a few people who that has worked out for but I don't think I could "date" someone that I've never met.

[Pam]

I would have said NO a couple of years ago, but my son's good friend met a girl through on-line dating and they are still going strong after almost 2 years. Recently my son tried it out and went out with a few girls after "talking" with them on-line and on the phone but didn't seem to "click" with them in person. That was before this past August. He has now been in a two month relationship as a result of on-line dating. We'll see what happens. :) As in everything you must be careful.

[Karen]

I know some wonderful, wonderful people that I "met" online first - hey there, Pet Talkers! As I am happily married, I have no need for online dating, but I would give the idea a "yes"" as long as the people in question were both adults, and were careful. There are scary people out there, but that's true in "real life" as well as online. People can lie as well in "real life," too.

Pssst - is this not real life?

[wolflady]

Originally posted by Karen
I know some wonderful, wonderful people that I "met" online first - hey there, Pet Talkers! As I am happily married, I have no need for online dating, but I would give the idea a "yes"" as long as the people in question were both adults, and were careful. There are scary people out there, but that's true in "real life" as well as online. People can lie as well in "real life," too.

Pssst - is this not real life?

I absolutely agree with this. I would say meeting people online is fine as long as you're smart and careful about it. Example: I have met many people from PT and they are all great! :D LOL :D

Take eHarmony for instance. The people that participate in eHarmony's services are serious about meeting others, because they take the time to fill out a very in-depth survey (500 questions, I believe) and also pay a fee to be there. Of course, the audience tends to fall in the age range of 35 and above, but from what I've heard (eHarmony is a customer of ours...that's why I know all of this...), the marriages through eHarmony have had far less divorce rates than regular marriages. This is eHarmony's mission, to decrease the rate of divorce in the United States by matching up people that compliment each other, in all aspects: interest, beliefs, etc. Pretty cool, huh?
This is a very interesting topic, actually. For your research paper, take a look at the different types of online dating. There are your reputable services like eHarmony and Soulmatch, and I'm sure there's less reputable services available that you can look into if you want to make a comparison in your paper.

Compare the various services and compare the audience. These are all important factors when meeting people online. Like Karen said, there are scary people out there...both in RL and online. You just have to be smart about it.

[popcornbird]

A few years ago, I too, would have said NO, but after being on PT for over 2 years, I must say I now see online relationships/friendships from a totally different perspective.

While it is true that you must be very careful, and its also true there are many predators out there that you need to be aware of, the fact is....when you're getting to *know* a person in real life, they are just as new to you as someone on the internet would be, and they too, could very possibly be lying about things. The internet is not *fake life* LOL. Its just as *real* as the real life we live in. Everyone you meet online is just as much of a REAL person in the REAL world as you are....So just because you aren't talking *face to face*, or because you're in different parts of the world, that doesn't mean you're talking to someone out of the *real world*. I know I always refer to my offline life as real life too, but when you think about it, its kind of silly because in reality, everyone you know online is someone in *real life* too. :o I mean really......we ALL exist in the real world, don't we? ;) LOL!!!

I do think you need to be careful and alert, and REALLY get to know the person before taking any steps forward, that could possibly endanger you if you're not talking to the right person. There are risks involved when meeting people face to face too. My mom always tells my brother (who is hoping to find the right person and get married soon), that marriage is like a lottery. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. It doesn't matter if you meet the person online or offline....Offline relationships can go just as bad, and online relationships can go good too. It all depends on who you end up with. I guess I would say you should be careful and wary about giving any personal information out until you get to know the person deep down, but I think, if you play things safe, it could very well be a nice experience. You really do get to know people well by talking to them online. I wouldn't have said that before joining PT, but now that I've gotten to know so many people well here, I must say, if you're smart and play it safe, you might be able to find the perfect match online. I mean...if we were all able to find the perfect friends on PT, I'm sure its very possible to find a perfect life partner online too. As with all aspects in life, you just have to be careful...maybe a little EXTRA careful when it comes to the internet, but I don't think its always a horribly dangerous thing that is bound to go wrong, as I once did before.

[davidpizzica]

True, there is a lot of scary people out there.but I forgot about meeting moosmom through PT. HHowever I got to know hwer very well and she knows me well.She has called me on the phone and we talked, and talked, and talked! I love her(and I'm not ashamed of it) I want to meet her in real life!

[catland]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
My good friend has been trying the online dating thing and they've all been losers. :(

Having dated before the age of the internet I can tell you that online isn't necessarily the culprit.

If I were single today I might consider it. I know of at least one friend who met his wife online.

Heck - my husband was a blind date arranged by a mutual friend. Like others said, be smart and be careful.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Originally posted by catland
Having dated before the age of the internet I can tell you that online isn't necessarily the culprit.


Im sorry but this made me chuckle in a wierd morbid way :D

People can be really scary and for lack of a better term, icky in person and online. I've met some wonderful people online (Here mostly :D) and Ive met some real jerks, just like in the offline world. I've dated on the internet once, but that kind of got squished when the guys mom found out he was making long distance calls...from Alaska to Here!!! Ooops...too bad, I kind of liked the guy. ;)
Siriously though, I'd say its a good way to meet and greet, and helps shy people to get to know others better before actually meeting them in person. Also, if someone IS lying, even online its easy to spot if you're careful and know what to look for.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I hate to say it, and I don't want to sound rude, but really...

Aren't we all in sort of an online relationship??

How is being so close to everyone here different than being in an online relationship?

I've had a few... if you even call them "relationships". I think it's more of a friendship/security type thing. I like having him there just to talk to.

But everyone, think about the question before.

[flamepony12]

I think you are right, but i think PT is a lot different than online dating. I say.... no! %o

[Uabassoon]

Originally posted by david p
However I got to know hwer very well and she knows me well.She has called me on the phone and we talked, and talked, and talked! I love her(and I'm not ashamed of it) I want to meet her in real life!

What :eek: I must have missed something here! This is exciting! :D I hope you two get to meet each other soon!

[davidpizzica]

Uabassoon, sometimes I think that she is my female counterpart! I'm usually kind of awkward around women, but not with her. She's only four years younger than me, and very easy to talk to.. Not bad for an old bachelor!

[slleipnir]

I might. I know I've talked to people in the past that if given the chance I would have met. I've only met 1 person from online but he was a friend of a friends. He visits here every summer so I see him then.

[teenster3]

Honestly.........
That's how I met my husband. He hates it when I tell people that though. He'd prefer it if I just said we met at a bar!:p
I've met a few weirdo's too before I met Matthew so, I'd just be careful I were you! I think the internet has changed a lot since I met him though. (that was 8 years ago) We actually just met in a chat room about music & decided to meet 1 night. YES, I was very bold & not afraid to meet people. Probably not a very smart idea on my part!:rolleyes: But, we've been together for quite awhile. So, I think it just depends on the person.

[Tonya]

Yes, I met my husband online. I think it is a start to a healthy relationship because you get to know the person long before physical attraction comes into play.

[Tonya]

I have to add, there are some fakes out there too. I went on a date with a guy right before Mike that turned out to be soooo strange. I suspect that he was married.

[moosmom]

I've been very wary of online dating because you really don't know a person simply by typing words on a screen. I've heard alot of horror stories too. But with Davidp, it's different.

I've talked to Davidp and felt very comfortable with him. I feel like I can tell him anything. I wouldn't mind meeting him in person. I guess that's how it's done. Who knows? It's been a long time since I've dated anyone. I got tired of being dumped and rejected.

As my stepmother always told me, you'll find love when you're NOT looking for it. That's how she and my Dad met.

[davidpizzica]

I feel the same way about Donna. I'm usually awkward talking to women, but not with Donna! I can tell her personal things about me and be comfortable having her listen. we've talked on the phone, and as Donna said, i'd like to meet her in person!

[GraciesMommy]

All for it if you are careful....You can meet in a bar or the mall and they turn into a monster behind closed doors...

I met my hubby online...in a chat room computer help desk..
we "talked" 9 months before I flew to meet him (500 miles away) and I took my best friend with me...we stayed the weekend,.shopped, ate out, had a great time...that was almost 6 years ago..we have been married 5 now..

He is my soul mate and I don't care how God got us together, just that He did!

[dappledoxie]

I agree with Ashley (binka_nugget), I met a great friend of mine on the Internet and we talked for about a year before meeting at a mall in Raleigh.

[K9soul]

I'm another who met my husband online originally, but neither of us were specifically looking for a soulmate online, it just happened. We were in college and the internet was newer then. It was a novel thing to meet and talk in chat rooms with people all over the place about anything and everything. We were just 2 college kids in with a bunch of other bored college kids and we happened to meet up, start talking, his first message to me was teasing me about the chatroom handle I picked (it was "Ozarks" which is where I grew up).

We went back and forth joking. When I saw him in the chat room again we picked up chit chatting again. After awhile discussions became more friend-like, sharing things we had in common, college stories, dog stories as we both loved dogs, and so on. After a few months, we genuinely became attached. We progressed to phone calls, letters, and finally meeting. The rest is history :) We met face to face about 8 or 9 months after meeting online.

I think it can be a letdown if you go specifically looking to find a date, I think it's something that will tend to happen more naturally if you are just talking to people and happen to find one person in particular is more fun to talk to. I also have met some wonderful friends through the internet, but again I didn't come specifically looking for new friends, it just happened. It is very ideal for someone like me who is very shy about just approaching a stranger face to face and trying to talk. I'm much more self-conscious then, less myself, more withdrawn. Once I really get to know someone online, I begin to really want to meet them in person and tend to be a lot more relaxed with the few I have met. I sure hope I get to meet some PTers at some point too :)

[Fox-Gal]

I say yes. A few years ago I did my fair share of on-line dating and was luckly enough to meet some amazing people through it. Of course I meet some jerks but that happens no matter how you meet a person.

The key like everyone says is be smart about it and that doesn't mean just the noramal things like giving out you address phone # etc. You have to go even farther then that. Watch everything you say, make sure nothing you say can lead a person to you.

Sometimes even the simple things you say can give out enough information for that one creep to find you. I know it happened to me.

I though I was doing everything right, never dreamed that just giving out the town I lived in would be to much info. You would think that no one could track you down in a whole town. The problem was that once they had my town and the one time I said I was going to the Mall that next day was enough info. for him. Most towns only have one mall, so with that info, the name of the town and my profile picture was all it took.

You have to be very carefull what you say to anyone on-line, the little things can all add up to more information then you wanted to give out and a skilled sicko can take that info. and find almost anyone. BE REALLY CARFULL!

But even with that scare, I still say yes. I had a chance to meet a lot of wonderfull people that I would have never the opportunity to meet any other way. I would have hated missing out on the friendships I developed, they have come to mean a lot to me over the years. I been lucky enough to get to go to Vegas, Canada, Virgina and Ca. and even had some great on-line friends come down here, so there are a lot of good memories I will have for the rest of my life, from on-line meetings.

[carole]

If I became single again, I perhaps would try online dating, as I hate pubs,clubs, etc, and I would probably be very lonely, but I would be cautious and a little scared for sure.

My girlfriend met her American hubby online, they have been together four years now , he lives here in NZ, and they have a baby boy Lathan, so you see it can and does work out.