Are you independent?

[teenster3]

I'm sure this can be taken several ways but I'm referring to: basic equality of men & women.
My (husband's) friend's new squeeze is exactly like this. She believes in paying her own way & splitting things down the middle. I'm sure there's no harm in this, except for the fact that if she also does something nice for me, then she wants something right away in return! I've always felt that you shouldn't expect it. That if someone does something nice for you then that's wonderful of them & in the future you can do something in return! Does this make any sense?
Well, her birthday is coming up & I did buy her something.
(I'm big on birthday's.)
But, when I had mine in August she didn't even say a "Happy Birthday". I guess I just don't get some people.
She is a nice girl but I just don't get some of the things about her.

[kingrattus]

I'm sick & I didn't understand what ur question was. But I'kk do my best to reply anyways.

I think I'm sort of Independent. If I have a MORE independent person with me, I'll back down & let them do everything if they want to.

If its an emergency I'm the BOSS & I've proven it before (rescued a drowing boy, alerted home owners of the fire on their house, stopped fights even when I'm the smallest one, & more stuff)

In my relationship with Rob, its 50/50. Sometimes I'll pay for dinner & sometimes he'll pay. But honestly it doesn't matter who pays, it all goes into the same account.

Whats mine is his & whats his is mine. & because I love him, I do extra things for him. I'll do his laundry for him. I'll stay up all night long to do it.




Am I off by much???

[catfancier]

I like to rely on myself, as I believe (especially lately, with my circumstances) that you can't fully depend on anyone but yourself.
At the moment while I don't have a job, my partner pays all the bills, but it has been something I don't feel *too* guilty about because he used to owe me about $750. Now we're even. Also, he isn't the most reliable man in the world, you certainly can't pin the word reliable on him as a good description!

I have a job as a pizza delivery driver at the moment, and that pays enough to pay my rent, but I can't even afford petrol! So I get hand outs from Matt and my mum (who I owe an unbelievable - and uncalculated - amount of money).

But yes, I am fully for financial independence, I don't know if I will want to combine finances once I am married, I think it would be a good idea to each keep a savings account, in case of 'rainy days'.

If I did something nice for someone, I wouldn't EXPECT anything in return, however if they said they would pay me back (either financially or favour-wise), then I would expect them to. If I told a friend I wanted to take them out for a drink, I would pay for at least one of their drinks, especially if it was a special occasion such as their birthday.

[teenster3]

kingrattus

Am I off by much???

***nope....
I was trying to figure out the best way to word it but, you answered it.***

[kingrattus]

We have 2 accounts. He has one & I have one. Its just easier on us to put all our bill money in my account. We bank online & having bill money in different accounts causes problems.

& the way we work MY money & HIS money is by over time. When I make overtime money, I get to spend it how I want to, but I usually share it with Rob anyway :) That makes me happy :)

The people at the bank know us so well, that we don't need ID anymore & Rob can access my account when he needs to (IE taking out rent money).


YAY.. I guess my mind isn't as dead as I thought it was, glad I answered it right :)

[Glacier]

I can not stand the thought of being financially dependant on anyone! My husband and I jointly own NOTHING! I paid for my truck--it's mine and only my name is on it. He's on the insurance as an occasional driver. My dad lent me some money for the downpayment on our house--it's in my name only. We don't have a joint bank account, a joint credit card, joint loan--Nothing. He has his own bank accounts and I have mine.

I pay the mortgage, insurance, the critter bills, the Internet bill (because I use it more) and the satelitte TV bill. ( he wants to disconnect it, but I will die without 24!) I dont' show him my bank account/credit statements. I get right ticked off if he makes any comments about how I spend my money. We discuss major purchases, but little things I refuse to justify to anyone.

He pays for the utilities and his dumb shop he's building. He is lousy with money. He's a wonderful man, a great husband, but no way is my credit rating getting tied to him! We don't even file a joint tax return. I make substantially more money than he does right now. That hasn't always been the case.

I lived alone for a long time. I liked being on my own. I never even considered marriage before he came along. I just can't give up control over my money! We don't have a pre-nup & our marriage is solid and happy, but I did check with a lawyer before we got married to make sure I could entirely maintain my financial independance.

[kingrattus]

Rob is the one who really pays the bills. I hate them, I don't even want to see one.

Rob has 100% control over both our accounts & I like it that way. Hes good at book keeping & with both our pays going onto bills & loans, were killing them faster. Other wise I'd be in debit for the rest of my life. Hes making $60,000.00 & I should pull in something under $20,000.00 on my own. If it wasn't for both of us, when Rob was jobless he'd be screwed & when I was jobless I'd be screwed..

We care for eachother & thats how we both see it. We enjoy the same hobbies that cost money (guns), & the pets. We do nothing else really. We're now under $30,000.00 for once, & our bills r much smaller.

[Uabassoon]

I guess you can say I'm independent. I live by myself and pay my own bills. When I go out with my girlfriend I almost always pay, it makes me uncomfortable when she pays for me. Usually I only let her pay if she drags me to something that I don't really want to go to. If it's something big then we usually will split the cost. Like went we went to Disneyland for example I paid for the hotel room and took her out to a nice dinner, she paid for the gas and the tickets to Disneyland.

[nibblets]

Being a single parent who gets no child support I pretty much have to be independent. I work a full time job, own my own home, car, and will be helping to put my son through college in another 3 years. It isn't always easy, but I do what I need to do to make a comfortable life. With any luck, my son will become the successful musician/music producer that he wants to be and he can support me for a while....;)

[slick]

I'm too independent for my own good. If I can't pay my own way, or pull my own weight, I won't participate.

[pitc9]

Not really.... my hubby makes twice as much as I do.
:(

[micki76]

Originally posted by slick
I'm too independent for my own good. If I can't pay my own way, or pull my own weight, I won't participate.

Same here.

I'm independent in a lot of ways, so much so that my husband once confided that he felt "un-needed". I've tried to curb that some, just to make him feel more manly. ;)

[Glacier]

Originally posted by micki76

I'm independent in a lot of ways, so much so that my husband once confided that he felt "un-needed". I've tried to curb that some, just to make him feel more manly. ;)

Giggle, I do that too. I make a point of asking him for help with things that I could do on my own if I had to--like last week when all the trees fell, I just let him think I didn't know how to use the chainsaw.